The Book of Gandalf ---]

Gandalf. The very name strikes a note of fear into whomever hears it.

Gandalf.

See? Doesn't it make you tremble in your Sasausage slippers?

Gandalf was of the First Order of Pornicus Pimpeus, a Pimpin Mage of the Highest degree. Before, however, he was a simple man. He had vast stores of wealth and drugs, and his power was extensive--controlling a full three quarters of the city known as "The Angels", residing primarily in the Holly Woods. Waited on hand and foot by Bikini Sex Slaves (now extinct) with anything he may need. He was, in all respects, a Worthy man to become a representative of Pornicus Pimpeus.

When approached by the God, Gandalf fell to his knees in awe and praise--and due respect, giving the traditional sign of greeting to Pornicus Pimpeus, thus pleasing the God very much. For this sign of loyalty, Gandalf was granted the most great of Gifts from Pornicus--the Pimping God Came to him. Most heavily, we might add.

After cleaning his face of this Bountiful Gift, Gandalf asked of Pornicus, "Yo, whateva you need, mah man, you got it, y'know what I'm sayin'? Bitches, hoes, drugs, smack, whateva you want, holmes. Name it."

And to this, Pornicus Pimpeus replied, "Lo, Gandalf, I do want you to be my Head Bitch, a Pimping Mage above all Pimping Mages, to Lead them in the Turf Wars to come."

Gandalf then appeared most pleased, uttering "Yo, I be yo bitch, mah man. We be tight, y'know what I'm sayin'?"

Pornicus nodded, then giving another Gift to Gandalf--endowing him with a magical suit of Pimping Mail, the Legendary Cane of Bitchslap, and the equally Legendary Hat of Pornicus, said to have once been worn by Pornicus Pimpeus himself, when he appealed to the Great One for Godhood.

And so, thus equipped, Gandalf did go with Pornicus Pimpeus to his Great Chariot, a 1977 Lincoln Stretch-Towncar, climbed inside, and proceeded off to the Land of Pimps to begin his Pimpin Training at the Cledessian College of Pimpology, gaining a Doctorate in Bitchslapping, as well as becoming a Pimpdoctor. The Power and Wealth gained by drawing Gandalf into the fold did help the spread of Our Holy Order's influence for many centuries to come.

Et En Sasausage
(Raises Fists In Praise)

Benus