I stumbled upon Neo Smurfcadia one day whilst wandering in deep contemplation of the Great Name, and I was pleasantly surprised by the sight of the inhabitants. Upon first glance, I thought them related to the Little Green Men, what with their blue pigmentation, however, upon further examination, I found that such was not the case. These diminuative creatures were new, something definitively not Of the Great One, a fact which intrigued me. For, as any novice into the greatness of our religion knows, all that is--uniniated, ibthen, and all things living--is Of the Great Sasusage.
   And these creatures, these beings of Neo Smurfcadia, being so wholly Not Of the Great One, were startlingly similar to those wraithlike abberations, the Unspoken--the Barbers. Yet there remained another, almost unthinkable difference--acknowledgement and acceptance of the Great Sasusage, first by one, then by Many. Those who first turned to worship the Great One were given places of Huntsman, Guardian, and Drug Dealer, respectively--and their names, so it shall be written, were Sociosmurf, Gothy Smurf, and Ghetto Smurf, respectively. And they were Good, and Loyal.
   Questions have rose about Ghetto Smurf's loyalty--whether it be the Great One foremost, or the drugs, chicks, and money. Either way, so long as he remains loyal, he holds his Position.

Et En Sasausage,
(Raise Hands)

Of Neo Smurfcadia, in Brief.
By Benus