11/24/05
Desbaaz		 Today is considered to be a day of giving thanks. Therefor, I would like to extend a big thank you to Prophet Benus who has outdone himself yet again. He has founded yet another chapter of followers, reaching numbers upwards of 20 in the short time he has been there. They have taken to meeting at the local pub and engaging in highly religious activities; such as karaoke.
03/12/05
Desbaaz
Chell		 Today is indeed a day worth celebrating, for today Avatar Chell unveils to the world the first tale of pacnadomy. Many are soon to follow.
01/21/05
Desbaaz
NEW HOLIDAY

In honor of our great creator, we have declared a new holiday. To remember how our faith revolves around one to whom only our eyes are open, we shall not make eye contact with any ibthen for three days. These days shall be the first three days of february. In addition, during these three days, all Sasausagites should be greeted with a boop, to show our appreciation to them for accompanying us on our sacred quest for enlightenment. Praised be the Great Sasausage.
01/14/05
Desbaaz		 Currently, OEG is in the process of being converted to a web server. Once that process is completed, sasausage.net will be moved there. That is all. Move along, everybody. Nothing to see here.
01/12/05
Desbaaz
Due to the very dissappointing amount of inactivity on the forum, as well as minimal group participation with cult events, it's become quite difficult to justify the expenses of maintaining this page. I havent decided yet what will happen. Best case scenario, I'll convert my comp to a web server and host the page independantly to save some cash. Worst case scenario, the page will just cease to be.
12/15/04
Desbaaz		 For far too long, I have allowed members to be little more than names, numbers, and ranks. It is time that a face be place with the follower. I ask you all to send me a picture of yourself or any other sasausagites who do not already have a pic on here, along with a location and favorite god, if possible. I am linking names on the members list to their corresponding pics and descriptions. Also, it is possible to view all the available pics via the visual members chart. A link to this has been placed at the top of the members page.
12/02/04
Desbaaz		       
Good news! Exmortis Enterprises, in or to raise funding for the Sasausage project, has opted to pimp out Priest Klobb at the low rate of $5.00 per hour.Those interested should contact High Priest Desbaaz.
11/17/04
Desbaaz		 Much has happened since my last post. One of the most important recent developments has been one step closer to the apocalypse. I'm afraid that "Now that's what I call music vol. 17" has, indeed, been unleashed on the world. Fortunately, not all hope has been lost. So long as nintendo doesn't develop any original ideas, they will be forced to continue producing mario games, thus avoiding the end of the world. This should keep us safe for several years to come. Thank you, nintendo, for not being creative enough to outgrow the need for your linchpin.
8/31/04
Desbaaz		 Due to the fact that there were very few pictures submitted from Conquest Day, I wont even bother posting them. Overall, though, we successfully claimed 2 DDR machines, a window, a high school lunchroom table, and "Sex Machine" by James Brown.
On a completely unrelated note, I recently stumbled across 3 videos from the last meeting of the council. Please excuse the poor quality, particularly of the audio.
Earliscious    Muffin    Bathroom
08/18/04
Desbaaz
NEW HOLIDAY!

At long last, The influence of the great name has spread itself across an entire continent. This is truly a day worthy of rememberance. Henceforth, the 19th of August will be known as the day of Conquest, our first official religious holiday. To celebrate this holiday, everyone should go out and claim something in the name of The Great Sasausage. I, for example, will be claiming the local DDR machine. It should be clearly marked with a note of some sort stating "This __________ is now property of The Great Sasausage" Once this has been accomplished, it is preferred that you take a picture and send it to me at [email protected] however, if this isn't possible, you should still report your contribution to the Sasausagian manifest destiny movement on the forum. That is all. Happy hunting, and may the power of the ravenous weasil be with you all.
08/16/04
Desbaaz
NOW that's what Desbaaz calls music!

Last month I was priveledged enough to attend Ozzfest, quite possibly the finest music fest in North America. It inspired me to dream up what the "perfect concert" would be. However, since I doubt I'll have the funds to support such big names as Tool, NIN, and Otep anytime soon, I decided to resort to a much more low-scale project: an unnofficial Sasausage Radio Station. (hosted by Launchcast) It holds no real relevance to the cult, but I figured it would be something kinda fun to do. =)
08/15/04
Desbaaz		 Of late, in honor of Hamtaro's anniversary of indoctrination as a god, Ive spent quite a bit of time playing DanceDance Revolution. (which, of course, hamtaro is the god of) Recently, my regular arcade was paid a visit by Daniel, a DDR'er from California. Coincidentally, he was by far the best freestyler I've ever seen. I shot 6 or 7 videos of this, and they will be posted as soon as I can get them transferred to digital. In the meantime, I have quite a few pics of all the regular DDR players that I hang out with.
DDR1   DDR2   DDR3   DDR4   DDR5   DDR6   DDR7
DDR8   DDR9   DDR10   DDR11   DDR12   DDR13   DDR14   DDR15   DDR16   DDR17
05/09/04
Desbaaz		 Today is mother's day. A day when we show our appreciation to the origin of our creation. Therefor, I have decided to add to the page a little tribute to the page's 'mother'. Finally, after 6 years of gaming, programming, and downloading porn, I'm showing a little love to my comp.

'where the magic happens'
03/29/04
Desbaaz		 Truly, being away from the holy land takes its toll on those of true faith. I'm sure Prophet Benus and Chell Chell can relate to this problem. The Ibthen populous here is great, and the lost souls here seem much more difficult to shake from their hethenistic roots. It is easy to see why the Great Name did send me to this desolate religious wasteland. It is in dire need of Sasausagian influence. Not all which I have encountered has been grim, however. I have discovered 3 new gods:

Iceman - Alcoholic elder god of coyotes, senility, and hookers.

Jojo - Lord of the pissy wiccans, God of youth, adolescence, virginity, and absence of driving capabilities. Devourer of twinkie-resembling hamsters and nuggets.

Ronnie the Pigeon Boy - God of Etnies, lung cancer, psycho bitches, and ravenous, home invading pigeons.
02/14/04
Desbaaz		 I've just completed my journey to my next challenge: Denver. Here, there are thousands of Ibthen minions crying out for enlightenment. Also, I've realized that the great number 42 plays a large role in this move. The entire trip (according to my odometer) was 1731.2 miles. This is equal to 42*42-(((((((((((((((42+4)/2)*4)/2)+4)/2)*4)/2)+4)/2)*4)/2)+4)/2)+4)+0.2 mi. (forgive the excessive use of parenthesis.)
...maybe I do have too much free time.
02/07/04
Klobb
WANTED
Sub-Priest

Must have internet access, a printer, basic clerical ability, and lots of free time. Yodeling abilities required; no exceptions. Starting pay of 3 boops/week with fast promotions. Must be familiar with details of Sasausagianism and corresponding customs/courtesies. Taking this position will serve as a 'foot in the door' as far as influence upon cult matters is concerned. For more details or to apply for this position, contact Klobb or Desbaaz.
02/02/04
Desbaaz
Well, I will soon be leaving again to spread the gospel abroad. In my absense, Klobb will, of course, take charge of the Sasausagian movement kindling in the motherland. However, I feel that this is a task that he may not be able to take on single handed. Therefore, I will soon be appointing a certain enlightened individual as his underling, to help with simple clerical tasks; paperwork and such. I will, of course, post again with the announcement of the chosen individual, as well as pictures and details of the ceremony. Meanwhile, please utilize the poll I've added. Nothing will help this page evolve and utilize its full potential faster and more effectively than good feedback. Also, feel free to email any additional comments to [email protected].
01/19/04
Desbaaz		 I've realized lately that although a good deal of talk about the selling of souls takes place, very few sales are completed. I have resolved this problem. Thus, I bring you the Exmortis Soul Exchange! The place to go for all your soul buying, selling, and trading needs.
01/18/04
Desbaaz
I am proud to announce that the official online home of Sasausagianism has moved to our very own domain. (At great expense to a certain webmaster, nonetheless) Yes, those annoying geocities ads are a thing of the past. Also, there is a rather unelaborate flash intro in the works. The page has been revamped to improve load time and efficiency. And there are more games on the way. Hopefully the move will help liven things up on the forum.
Spread the Gospel!
Your Name:

Your E-mail:

Friend's E-mail:

Comments:

Receive copy: 
01/03/04
Desbaaz

The Council
in order: Earliscious, Desbaaz, Klobb, and Benus

I have so much to report, that I hardly know where to start. This truly seems to be a promising year. Firstly, Earliscious has finally written a prophecy and therefor been promoted to the rank of Prophet. "5-0" Has been named as the avatar of Earliscious. Avatars are now to be known as "Chells". Earliscious has been discovered to be the love child of a 'ghetto booty and a road cone'. Also, I have more pictures. *yay*

Pic 1  Pic 2  Pic 3  Pic 4  Pic 5  Pic 6  Pic 7
12/29/03
Desbaaz		 Last post of the year. Well, Benus was back in town to visit his folks for what is henceforth to be known as the not-yet-named-sasausagian-holiday. So, I gathered up what I could of the council and stopped by to pay him a visit.

Pic 1  Pic 2  Pic 3  Pic 4  Pic 5  Pic 6  Pic 7  Pic 8 
Pic 9  Pic 10  Pic 11  Pic 12  Pic 13  Pic 14  Pic 15
10/9/03
Desbaaz		I've finally returned with several enlightening discoveries from my travels. They are described in further detail on the forum and will be added to the page shortly once I have my own computer back.
7/25/03
Desbaaz		This is going to be my last post for a while. Sunday morning I leave for basic training. Klobb is in charge of any updates that are made for at least the next two months. Make sure you all keep track of the FORUM though. (not that I'm using subliminal messages to get everyone to read the FORUM and post on FORUM.) I leave you with one small gift though: the Elven Exmortis Logo. (for our Lord of the Rings fans)
7/12/03
Desbaaz		 I have recently been reminded that most people don't even know what a 'resolution' is. Although I hate to take my pet project out of the spotlight, I've reverted to a frameless main page. The main page which most of you are more familiar with is still in tact and accessible via the new Page Options link.
7/04/03
Desbaaz		 A day with the prophets:
Today, Prophet Benus arrived in Crestview. He, potential prophet Earliscius and myself all ventured to Wal-Mart. Since today is the holiday, the store was packed with rednecks doing some last-minute shopping for various explosives. This made it a perfect target. Firstly, Earliscius seized a pack of LifeSavers� and attempted to put them on layaway, paying with a $100 bill. Unfortunately, since it was a food item, he was unable to do so. Then we proceded to the food court, where we all rode the miniature merry-go-round. After regaining our balance, which was somehow thrown askew, we wrote the URL to the page on about 50 napkins and passed them out to various customers. All things considered, I feel it was a relatively successful mission. For those of you who are visiting because you recieved said napkins, feel free to join. Or, if you want, feel free to express your narrow-minded dissapproval on our forum.
6/16/03
Desbaaz		 I've reverted to the old news format, since none of the other council members were utilizing their posting abilities. We have quite a few projects in the works for the page. For more details consult the 'Projects' thread on the forum.
5/23/03
Desbaaz		 I have finally made a breakthrough both as a web designer and a priest. You can all join now via the 'join' page online. Those who join online will be labeled 'veinnites'. Those who fill out the application will achieve the higher rank of 'Sasausagite'. In order to join the council, you must be sponsored by a priest and undergo training. Those in the council can choose to outcast those who are not loyal to the great name. that should thoroughly explain the new look to the members page.
05/20/03
Desbaaz		 A quick recap for those who don't feel the urge to read through the entire forum: We're considering the possibility of engaging in cheap publicity stunts, such as organizing a cheesy conspiracy or publishing a newsletter. For those of you who wish to access the site from public, government-supplied computers, use yahoo australia http://au.yahoo.com to bypass bess. (this theory is untested) We need to gather information about the pink menace so as to launch an organized, effective assult. Possibly moving the page to bravenet soon.
5/13/03
Desbaaz		 Well, it seems every effort I've made to make this site become self-financing has been unrewarded. Cafepress seems to have "misplaced" the meager profit that I had made. Seek99 only payed us $0.08 even though I alone used it enough to earn a few bucks. It seems our transfer to a real domain will have to wait until I'm in tech school. (probably October of this year)
5/12/03
Desbaaz		 The new look that we're testing should, in theory, allow Benus, Chell, Klobb, and Myself to post w/o having to edit HTML. If things work out, this may be permanent. Voice your opinion of this new feature on the forum. I'm looking forward to getting some feedback. Also, we've ditched the sponsor. However, in the spirit of freeloading and undeserved profit, we'll probably have a new one soon.td>
5/09/03
Desbaaz		 Good news. We've sold out! That search bar at the top of the page earns us a whopping $0.02 per search. After we've earned enough (approx $10.00) we'll use the funds to buy a domain. We'll discuss the domain name on the forum.
4/30/03
Chell		    And lo, I have seen an enemy to Xyrosian, Human, and Pac Nad alike. A shadow of depredation that was almost forgotten still plagues those who would have faith in the eternal Sausage Links. This enemy, this Empress of Ibthen is the Invisible Pink Unicorn. Her cult is large and her power great, but what is power to the divinity of the Susausage? It is nothing! And we shall make it nothing! I hereby call upon the faithful to join me in smiting this foe! We must extirpate her by her very pink roots!
   She is only invisible because her followers are blind. We must pry their eyes open. As Avatar for the Susausage, I declare a holy war(We'll call it, "The Sizzler") on the Invisible Pink Unicorn and her cult.
   So it is
Susausage
4/29/03
Desbaaz		 Great news: Avatar Chell has finally contacted me and sent the first of many prophecies, which is now available in the Prophecies section.
4/27/03
Desbaaz		 In an attempt to help our online influence and fan base to expand, visitors can now post their pages under the Visitors Pages area.
04/15/03
Klobb		 I take great pride in my rigorous training in the HTML feild. This being my first post makes me proud enough to fill a goat full of the stickiest white goo. Desbaaz and Benus have begun translating the Bibble. As it is translated, the books will be posted in the Prophecies section. I must return to the high preist's basement for "training". More posts later. Keep juggling.
04/07/03
Desbaaz		 I rejoice in saying that I have been called to embark on a great pilgrimage. It is wonderful to really feel the power of the Great One. In my absence, Klobb will assume my duties as resident priest. I will update when I can. For now, I guess I should start teaching Klobb HTML so the page won't become too outdated. Also we now have a growing variety of Sasausage and Exmortis merchandise available at www.cafeshops.com/sasausage
01/02/03
Desbaaz		 I have recieved word from Avatar Chell that the Great Sasausage has spoken. It has shared with us the knowledge of times long past. All that the Great Sasausage has spoken shall be written in a glorious book that is to be known as the "Bibble". It will tell of the Pacnads, Signs of the apocalypse, the lives of the Gods, and much, much more. And you can reserve a copy now for only 17 weekly installments of $5.50. errr, umm, I mean it will be available to the world shortly.
12/22/02
Desbaaz		 Today is a day worthy of much rejoicing. Avatar Chell has returned from his journey across the continent. He has spread the sacred word far and wide. Finally, he has returned with endless knowledge which the great Sasausage has given to him during his travels. Over the next few weeks we will be revising our holy text, writing more commandments, and sharing our knowledge of many signs of the Apocalypse.
8/19/02
Desbaaz		 I would like to welcome you to the doorway. Beyond lies the path of enlightenment. You have the oportunity to step through and onto the path towards eternal bliss. (and if that's not enough modivation, we'll also give you some gum if you sign up.)
1