This is my first fan fic and Digimon fic and yaoi fic. I hope you guys
like it. In case, nobody knows what yaoi is, it is boys loving boys. So if
you have a problem with that, then leave. No one forcing you to read this,
I remind you. It's told by Yamato (Matt)'s point of view. It's a
PG-13, I think. ^^
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or the lyrics, I want it that way
by the Backstreet Boys. Lyrics - ~*
~* You are my fire
The one desire*~
Laying on my bed. Wondering about the adventure we, seven kids, had in
the Digital World. That was five years ago, I was now sixteen years old. I
remember everybody, but I wonder if anyone remembers me. Probably as
the 'cool' guy. The one who never care. I cared, but I never showed
it. I closed my eyes as I vividly remember.
Hikari. Sister of our leader. The holder of light. She was mature and
wise beyond her years and still is. Already thirteen, one month ago.
Takeru. My little brother. Still playful, but mature. The holder of
hope. He's not small, not like five years ago. Thirteen and proud of it.
Koushiro. That kid was literally was stuck on his computer. Holder of knowledge. He's 15 now.
Jyou. Still the holder of reliability and a worrier. Seventeen.
Sora. I made a face. Lucky Sora. She has something I'll never have.
Always mothering everybody. Holder of love.
Mimi. Fashionable as always. Holder of sincerity. Same age as Koushiro.
Me. Yamato. Holder of friendship.
And....
And....
My cheeks started burning at the first thought about him.
~*Believe when I say
I want it that way
But we are two worlds apart*~
Taichi. My Taichi, even though he'll never be mine. He was the holder
of courage. He was the leader of the group, although he didn't want to.
Dark brown eyes. Chestnut brown hair. He was sixteen about a month ago, I
gave him a picture of us.
I sighed as I glance to the picture. I had my arm around Tai's
shoulders and his around me. We were grinning like idiots. Which I don't remember
why, he must have done something funny to be grinning like that.
We are different. Tai and I. The loud and the quiet. The energetic one
and the calm one. Man, together we clash, no wonder we don't get along, I
mused. He's loud, can be obnoxious, always setting his mind on something,
annoying, stubborn, compassionate (once he learns), kind, and cheerful. But
those qualities are what I like about him.
I'm quiet but with a quick temper. I'm told that I was cold and
harsh to everybody while we were in the Digiworld.
How we can possibly be friends, people think about. We had enough in
common to be friends. Like when I held his hand when Angemon and Angewomon
shot their arrows of hope and light. Making Agumon and Gabumon warp-digivolving
to Wargreymon and Metalgarurumon.
~* Can 't reach to your heart
When you say
That I want it that way
Tell me why
Ain't nothing but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothing but a mistake
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say
I want it that way*~
I can remember the squeeze Tai gave me to reassurance me that we
weren't going to die and we didn't. I want to tell right there and then how
much I loved him, but I didn't. I have this terrible longing to be Tai's.
But Tai isn't and never will be, because he's .... It was my mistake not tell
Tai.
Now Tai belongs with another. Tai doesn't love her, I know
because......he told me. I asked Tai, very casually, if he like Sora. He hastily
shook his head and never said anything else about the matter. But you're with
Sora. Of all the people. Why her? Why?
~*Am I your fire
Your one desire
Yes I know it's too late
But I want it that way*~
I have to know. Know if Tai loves me as I love him. I know it's too late, you
dating Sora and being her .... I can't say it, but I have face it
....
boyfriend. I know it's my fault for not telling you sooner.
I gather my courage and picked up the phone, I dialled Taichi's number. My heart is pounding, praying that Tai is there.
"Hello. Kamiya residence. May I help you?," a voice answered.
"Um. Is Taichi around there?," I asked, mentally kicking myself.
Um is a great word to start a sentence, I said angrily to myself. Then, realization
sunk in. The voice who answered, it was .... Sora! What is Sora doing
over at Taichi's?
~*Now I see that we've fallen apart
From the way it used to be, yeah*~
I remember when it was me, who was over at Taichi's house. We've played video
games and joked around like best friends. We were for years and
we still are. But Taichi started to be with Sora. You found out girls when
we enter high school, so did I.
Girls were crawling around me, asking me out, and throwing glances at me. Basically,
I'm the most popular boy at school, I'm not bragging.
Girls loved that I looked older than most boys. I'll admitted I have a new
girlfriend each month or week, I wanted to find someone who could Taichi off
my mind, but none of them did. It only made me think about him more.
"Sure, I'll pass Taichi," Sora answered.
"Who is this?," Taichi questioned as he picked up the phone.
"Hey, Taichi. It's Yamato."
"Oh hi. What's up?"
"Well, I .... I wanted to invited you to spend the night in my house,"
I answers in a rush. Please, please say yes, I pleaded mentally.
"Sure, let me ask my parents." I heard a trunk. Silence. Did he
sound...pleased? Impossible. Was it? "My parents said yes."
"Cool, I'll see tomorrow at um...4'o clock, sound good?"
"Yeah, see you."
"Bye," I whispered.
~* No matter the distance
I want you to know that
Deep down inside of me*~
As I was listening to my conversation with Taichi. I noticed that his voice
sounded different. His voice was usually cheerful and calm. But Taichi's voice,
this time, sounded desperate and painful. And when I mentioned
the sleepover, he practically shouted with joy.
As I went to sleep, I promised myself that I would tell Taichi how I felt, no matter the consequences. I want you to know Taichi, I loved you with all my heart and it's killing me not telling you.
I remember the time when I parted from the group for a while in the Digital
World. Taichi and I had another major fight. The biggest one of all the big
ones. I made Gabumon warp-digivolved to Metalgarurumon and fight Wargreymon.
I left the group for a few weeks, trying to sort out my emotions. But
Taichi kept popping into my head. That's when I realized that I was sorry
that I fought Tai. And it hit me, I loved Taichi, even the distance couldn't
keeps us apart. I always had this feeling whenever I was around him. And I realize
also that I treated Tai badly and I fell into a deep depression.
~*You are my fire
The one desire
You are, you are, you are, you are
Don't wanna hear you say.....*~
I fell into a deep depression and a deep hole. I managed to get out as I realized
that I needed Taichi and I couldn't die for the fear of
breaking his heart. Takeru and Gabumon needed me, so did I.
I ran back to help Taichi, to him and only him. You had so much faith
in me! You told me. I wanted to cry and cry I did. But not in happiness, (even
though I wanted to, nobody had ever put their whole trust on me.), I
cry because of how Taichi looked. He had dirt in his face and he was
bleeding. Trying to hold back Piedmon, to stall, he waited, for me.
I felt so touched that my crest of friendship started to glow as I started to
tell Tai that his friendship meant the whole world to me ad that he was
my best friend. Wargreymon gained back his health as Garurumon nuzzled
him.
Gabumon warp-digivolved to Metalgarurumon. And together, Taichi and I,
defeated Piedmon.
~*Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
I wanna hear you say
I never wanna hear you
I want it that way*~
It was a mistake of not telling Taichi. I smiled at Tai as he walks through
the door of my dad's and my apartment. Taichi doesn't smile back, his eyes are
red and he has bags under his eyes because he, probably, didn't sleep very well.
Something's bothering you, Taichi.
Taichi breaks down, sobbing about something. My heart breaks, seeing him cry. My arms ache to hold him, close to me and to cheer you up.
"What's wrong, Taichi?"
"Sora...Sora broke up with me. Saying I never love her and was just using
her for a reason, but not...love!", Taichi sobs, his knees start to wobble
and I catch him in time. I felt sorry for him, going through this. But I felt
something within me stirred, I didn't want to hear this, I wanted to
hear that Taichi broke up with Sora, not the other way around.
"Don't cry, Taichi. She wasn't meant for you," I quietly said the last part. I carried him in my arms to my bed and sat down. Hope rising within me.
"Yamato, please hold me. Don't leave me, please I don't want to be alone...away
from you again," Taichi pleaded, holding me tight, his
eyes shining with....
Oh, Taichi I always want to hear you say those words to me. "Taichi, do
you really mean that?," I quietly asked, his warmth filling me.
"Yes, Yamato. I realized that yesterday that I didn't love Sora....that
I loved....you. I always have. But I never let myself see it and I didn't accept
it because I didn't want to alone," Taichi croaked out, he ever so slowly
turn his head, his eyes looking fearfully at me. He must have
excepted me to do something at him, he probably expect me to slap him or
something.
"That's why I dated Sora. I was afraid people would rejected me if
they knew that I was gay, especially you, Yamato," he continued, after
that he saw that I wasn't going to hurt him. He just cuddled closer to me.
"You'll never be alone again, Taichi," I said gently. His eyes grew wide, and shone with happiness. So were my eyes, I'm sure.
I leaned in and gave him a soft kiss on his lips. He, soon start to kiss me
back. Taichi's taste is sweet to my mouth. I wrapped my arms around his neck,
pulling him closer. And his arms snaked around my waist.
He breaks away, gasping for breath. He's grinning like crazy and so was I.
~*You are my fire
The one desire
Believe when I say ....*~
"I love you, Yamato."
"I love you too, Taichi."