Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. That honor goes to Toei/Bandai. Please don't sue. All you will get is a large computer bill and a Wormmon plushie.
This is part of Tabby-chan's 'Reality Bites' series. She owns it, not me so please do not use this fic anywhere without her permission...
Dr. Yamato Ishida glanced at his watch for the third time in the last five minutes.
It was only 4:00pm. He sighed audibly. All he wanted to do was go home and take
a long hot shower. It had been a long day but he still had a stack of tests
to correct.
He rubbed his eyes and picked up the next test on the top of the pile. As Matt started reading the answers scribbled across the page his mind started to wander to more interesting things like, Tai.... He sighed again. Dr. Taichi Ishida his husband. Matt smiled to himself; he still couldn't believe that he could be so lucky to have an angel like Tai in his life. He was so bright and cheery and smart and sweet and beautiful, and- that did it! The tests could wait. It was the weekend after all.
Matt packed everything into his briefcase (A/N: could you imagine Matt carrying a briefcase?!), locked up the classroom and headed out to the parking lot.
Turning the Explorer down the gravel road leading up to the small farmhouse, he started thinking about dinner that evening. Tai would be hungry when he got home but Matt really didn't want to cook. Maybe they could order a pizza or something, if he could stay awake that long.
Unlocking the front door, Matt was assaulted by a barrage of animals.
"Hey! Take it easy! Get down!" He didn't know how Tai talked him into letting all these creatures in the house with them. But if that is what made his Angel happy, it was worth the sacrifice.
Shrugging of his coat and shoes he headed straight for the 'fridge and grabbed the carton of orange juice. Taking a long swig, he padded to the living room and stretched out on the couch.
"Ahh, this is exactly what I needed," said the lanky blond. "I don't know why I'm so tired today."
He placed his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. "Maybe I'll just rest until Tai gets home." He promptly fell into a deep sleep....
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Taichi Ishida squealed as he picked up the seal-point Siamese.
"Dr. Ishida, don't you have enough pets?" Dr. Tomoya asked.
"Hai, but...I wanted another one!" Tai said with a happy squeak.
"Oh lord...what's her name then?" Dr. Tomoya asked.
"This is Meg!" Tai said, hugging her.
"Hi Meg," Dr. Tom said shaking her paw.
"Mrow!" Meg said.
Tai grinned.
"Well, it's almost five. You can go early today, okay Tai? I expect to see you here tomorrow extra early!" Dr. Tomoya said.
Tai's jaw dropped. "What?"
"Just kidding, kidding! See you Monday! Oh, when is your exam by the way?" Dr. Tomoya asked.
"Hmm...probably next month. Crossing my fingers to pass!"
"You'll do fine. You'll be an official veterinarian before you know it! And besides, what's wrong with being a technician?" Dr. Tomoya asked.
"I dunno...I just...want to specialize in x-rays, you know?" Tai said, putting Meg on the table and taking off his white coat. He hung it on the rack, put on his winter coat and picked up his Siamese kitten.
"See you later!" Tai said, and he walked out to the parking lot. He got into his Suburu Outback, set Meg on the driver's seat and drove down the road. He and Matt lived together in the country now, just the two of them and eight pets...plus Meg now...
Tai squeaked as a song he recognized came on the radio. (Chan-chan, I'm a Smash
Mouth fan so
NYAH!)
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead
Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow
Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder
You're bundled up now but wait 'til you get older
But the meteor men beg to differ
Judging by the hole in the satellite picture
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin
The waters getting warm so you might as well swim
My world's on fire how about yours
That's the way I like it and I never get bored
Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold
Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold
Somebody once asked could you spare some change for gas
I need to get myself away from this place
I said yep what a concept
I could use a little fuel myself
And we could all use a little change
Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow
Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold
The song ended just as Tai pulled up to the driveway. Meg gave him a curious look. Tai grinned. He picked up the cat, got out of the car, and shut it with his hip. He'd been having a long day, and a long week...
"Myaah!"
"WOOF WOOF WOOF!"
Tai was greeted by two happy cats, 4 happy dogs, two bunnies, but no salamander (she was in her cage) and no blonde man coming up to slobber on him. He shut the door.
"Where's my Yami?" he asked the animals. "By the way. Meet Meg!" he said, showing them all the small kitten. Tabby immediately rubbed up against her and purred. Ryo-Ohki did too. The dogs and rabbits went off to do their own thing, but the two cats took an interest in her and seemed to be showing her around.
"Yami?" Tai said, putting his coat on the hook. He took off his shoes and walked to the living room.
'Aww...he's so sweet and innocent looking just laying there,' Tai thought to himself, 'You wouldn't know him for being the walking hormone when he's awake...'
Tai glanced at his nails for a second out of pure habit. Hmm...a chip in the silver color on his left pinkie...he shrugged.
Tai walked over to the couch, got down on his knees, and laid his head on his husband's rising and falling stomach.
"Mmmm..." Matt murmured.
"Wakey wakey Yami...it's only 6:00..."
"Mmm...Angel..." Matt said opening his eyes sleepily.
"Hello sleepy head," said Tai smiling.
Matt sat up with a start. "Tai?!" He grabbed on to the startled brunette and pulled them both to their feet.
"Y-Yami? What's wrong?"
"Let me look at you!" Matt proceeded to savagely untuck and lift Tai's shirt until it exposed his midsection, with Tai struggling against him the whole time.
"Whew, still just as skinny as ever. You are NOT pregnant!" he smiled.
Tai pulled himself away from Matt's grip and glared at him. "Get your hands off me! What the hell is wrong with you? What are you talking about?!"
The look of terror faded from Matt's eyes and he sat back down on the couch. "I'm sorry," Matt whispered. "I was just scared there for a minute."
"Scared?" Tai returned to Matt and sat down beside him on the couch.
"I-uh had a dream. It was weird. It was about you, and then I was awake, and you were here in front of me."
"About me? What kind of dream? Maybe it will help to-"
"No," Matt shook his head. "I don't think I want to talk about it. Besides I'm awake now, everything is fine."
"But Yami, you had me scared there for a minute," Tai placed his hand on Matt's knee. "It must have been some dream. Please tell me about it."
Matt never could deny his Taichi anything, especially when he stared at him with those big gorgeous brown eyes. He sighed, "All right."
So, the blonde Ishida prepared himself to tell a story he didn't really want to tell. He didn't know why, he just had a bad feeling that reciting his dream to Tai would cause nothing but trouble. If only he knew how right he was.
"It started with me coming home from work one day...."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
***Matt walked through the front door as usual. He took off his shoes and hung up his coat as usual. He had to fight off the inhabitants of the 'Ishida Zoo' as usual. But something didn't quite seem right.
"Taichi?" he called out hesitantly. He wasn't sure but he thought he had heard a noise.
After a moment Tai slowly emerged from down the hall. "Yes Matt?" He whispered.
"You're home? Are you not feeling well?" Then Matt actually looked at him and noticed that Tai had been crying and rushed toward him. "Angel, What's wrong?"
Tai broke down into tears again.
Matt put his arms around Tai and led him to the living room, seating him down on the couch. Then just held him as he sobbed into his chest.
"Shhhh, it's all right Baby. Please stop crying. Can you tell me what happened?" All the while Matt slowly rubbed Tai's back. But the dark haired young man continued to cry, clutching at his husband's shirt.
"Tai. Taichi, please. Come on now. Look at me," Matt placed his hand under Tai's chin and gently raised it up until they were face to face. "Now what is wrong? Did something happen at work?"
Tai shook his head 'no', "I-I didn't go to work today."
Matt was getting worried now, but tried to hide it from Tai. 'What was going on?' He thought to himself. And then asked, "Why not?"
"I had a doctor's appointment this morning and decided to take the whole day off."
"Are you sick?" He asked for the second time since he had gotten home.
"No. I-I h-h-had to get some tests d-done!" Tai wailed, almost breaking down again.
"Angel please, you're scaring me now. Just tell me what is going on."
Taichi Ishida dropped his head and in a barely audible whisper said, "I'm pregnant."
"You're what?" asked Matt stunned. He stood up and started to pace around the living room, "Oh my God."
"Yami?" said Tai meekly.
"Jesus, Tai. What the hell are we supposed to do now?" He rubbed his hand across his face.
"This isn't my fault Matt. I didn't do it on purpose."
Matt looked over at Tai. He had a hurt look on his face. "I'm sorry, I know. I just don't know what to think, or do, or say right now. Pregnant. Wow."
"I think the first thing we have to do is decide if we want to keep the baby."
"You mean abortion? No. That isn't an option. I mean, whether we are ready to be parents or not, we can't kill a defenseless baby. If we decide to give it up for adoption later, then so be it. But not abortion."
"I'm glad you feel that way Yami. Do you want children?"
Matt walked back over to the couch, sat down and took Tai's hand.
"I think I do. I just didn't expect a family this soon. I'm sorry Angel, if I seemed upset. You just took me by surprise is all. I am so proud that you are carrying my child."
Matt then leaned over and kissed Tai. A long deep, slow kiss that took both their breaths away.
"I love you, Yami."
"I love you too, Angel."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
'Oh no,' thought Tai as he threw off the bed covers and made a mad dash for the bathroom.
"Tai?" mumbled Matt still half asleep. "Tai?" Matt now a little more cognizant realized that his better half was no longer in the bed that they shared. He got up and headed down the hall to the bathroom.
Tai was on his knees in front of the toilet.
"Oh Tai," whispered Matt as Tai's slim body spasmed and his stomach revolted. Just like every morning.
Matt went out to the kitchen and put the kettle on for tea, grabbing the box of soda crackers from the cupboard on the way by. That was about all Tai could keep down, at least first thing in the morning. He looked up as Tai entered the kitchen.
"Why don't you go back to bed, hon. You look tired."
"I'm fine," muttered Tai.
"Why don't you try some crackers then?"
"No, I said I was fine didn't I? This is all your fault anyway!" snapped Tai heading back toward the bedroom and slamming the door.
Matt sighed. It had been hard getting used to the mood swings but he knew that it wasn't Tai's fault, so he just rode them out. He made a cup of tea and just sat and thought about what it would be like to be a father. A few minutes later Tai came out of the bedroom dressed and ready to go. He walked over and kissed Matt on the cheek.
"Matt, can you drive me to Dr. Saia's office? I have an appointment at 10:00am," he smiled sweetly at his husband.
"Sure Tai. Just let me get dressed"...
Matt sat in the waiting room. Tai hadn't come out yet. He hoped everything was going OK. He wouldn't be able to stand it if anything was wrong with Tai or the baby. Just then Tai emerged from the exam room.
"Hey Baby, is everything going OK?"
"Yep, just fine. The baby is growing nicely and looks healthy. Of course it is only 14 weeks old. But so far so good," smiled Tai brightly.
"And how are you?"
"Dr. Saia says that I am a little run down, and should try to get some more rest."
"See, I told you," said Matt, taking Tai's hand and heading out to the parking lot. "When are you due again?"
"October 12th."
As they rode home Matt had one hand one the wheel and the other on Tai's growing belly.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Matt was the happiest man alive. He couldn't believe how perfectly his life was going. Perfect marriage, the perfect baby on the way. Things couldn't get any better. Of course as life goes, just because things can't get better doesn't mean that they can't get worse.
Matt walked in the house on Friday evening expecting to be greeted by his husband, as was the custom when he knew that Tai would be home that day. But he didn't show his pretty little face.
All of a sudden Mimi came running out of the bedroom, "Matt! Thank God you are here! Hurry, call 911!"
"What! What the hell is going on? Where's Tai?"
"He's in the bathroom Matt. He's bleeding!"
"Oh Lord no, the baby!" Matt whispered as he ran to the phone.
"Yes, we need an ambulance at 1104 Foxfield Dr....yes just off the highway....it's my husband. He's pregnant and I think there is a problem with the baby! God, please hurry!....I understand, someone will be out front to guide them in....thank-you"....'click'
Matt dashed into the bathroom to find Tai sitting on the floor against the wall, surrounded by a pool of blood. He was in hysterics and Mimi was trying to calm him down and staunch the flow of blood. Matt's eyes widened in terror at the sight. There was too much blood.
"Taichi!" he knelt down beside him and took his hand.
"Yami! Please help me! No, this can't be happening!" Tai wailed, tears flowing freely down his pale cheeks.
Tai's pallor did not escape Matt's attention. "I'm right here Baby, the paramedics are on the way. Everything is going to be fine," He hoped.
Just then Tai doubled over as his body was wracked with another wave of painful spasms. He clutched at Matt with a bloodied hand. "The baby!" he managed to choke out.
Matt didn't know what to do other than pray. So, he just held Tai in his arms and whispered soothing words to him.
"Mimi," said Matt. Can you please go out front and guide the ambulance in?"
"Sure Matt. No problem," and she ran out of the room.
A few moments later Matt could hear the sirens of the emergency vehicle.
"Tai, the ambulance is here to take you to the hospital," No response. "Tai? Tai talk to me!"
Matt repositioned himself to look at the pale, young man lying limply in his arms. He was unconscious. Tai. No!"
Just then the paramedics burst through the door. "All right sir, we'll take over from here. What is his name?"
"Taichi."
"And how far along is he?"
"I-I'm not sure," he looked down at his now blood stained shirt. Tai's blood.
"It's all right sir. Taichi, can you hear me? Open your eyes!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Matt sat alone in the hospital waiting room, his head in his hands. He was beside himself with worry. 'Why did this have to happen to MY Angel?' he thought despairingly.
Just then Mimi came back into the room with two cups of coffee. "How are you holding up?"
Matt jumped at hearing Mimi's voice in the almost empty room. "OK I guess."
"Here," she handed Matt a coffee.
"Thanks. Mimi, you never told me why you were at my place. I thank God you were there for Tai. But why?"
"Tai called me. He said that he didn't know who else to call, because you would have been on the road on your way home. I guess I was the first person who popped into his head. He was terrified when he called Matt. I rushed right over. You got home not that long after. That's why I hadn't called for help yet."
"Thank you Mimi, for being there," Matt got up and started to pace.
"Matt!"
"Kari, Mr. & Mrs. Kamiya!"
Tai's mom rushed up and hugged Matt, "How is he?"
"I don't know, they won't tell me anything. I'm his husband damn it!" And with that, all the emotions that he had been holding back broke free. He started to sob.
"Shhh Matt. Everything will be fine," soothed Kari holding him in her arms and rocking him as he cried on her shoulder. Silent tears slipping down her own cheeks.
"Mr. Ishida?"
Matt looked up with red, tired eyes to see Dr. Fujika. The ER doctor that treated Tai.
"You can see Taichi now. But just for a moment, he is resting."
"Is he all right?" Matt wasn't sure he wanted to know.
"Mr. Ishida, your husband is fine physically. But I regret to tell you that the baby didn't make it. He had a miscarriage."
"Oh no," whispered Matt. "No that can't be."
"I'm sorry."
"You said that Tai was fine physically. What did you mean?"
"When we told him about the baby he became hysterical. We had to sedate him. He will be very emotional for the next while. He needs time to grieve for the loss of the child. You do too of course being the father, but as you can imagine it will be worse for Tai."
"Oh."
"Come on, let's go in and see him."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Matt slowly walked into the quiet, darkened room. He saw Tai lying in a bed against the far wall. As he got closer he could see all the apparatus the doctors had him hooked up to. Heart monitor, oxygen, I.V. He looked thin and pale. Matt closed his eyes and groaned softly.
"Oh, Tai," he whispered taking a seat next to his sleeping husband. "I am so sorry. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I know you can't hear me right now, but if I could trade places with you, take away all the pain you are feeling, I would in a heartbeat. He gently stroked Tai's chestnut hair and cried quietly. "My beautiful Angel."***
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"And that's when you woke me up."
"Wow," was all Tai said.
"Yeah," laughed Matt. "Some dream huh? But that's all it was, a dream. I'm fine, you're fine. You are not, ever were and never shall be pregnant. Thank God."
Tai looked up. "What do you mean 'thank God'?"
"I mean...it's so tragic..." Matt stuttered. Tai gave his husband a look.
"So...are you also saying you don't ever want kids?" Tai asked, getting up and pacing back and forth. Tai only paced when he was nervous or upset about something.
"No...I'm not saying that...Tai..."
Matt stopped as he saw a tear slip down Tai's nose. It hit the floor.
"You...wouldn't want a baby...you don't...want to be the father of my baby..." Tai stammered.
"Tai...wait a second," Matt said.
"No...no..." Tai said, starting to bawl. Matt got up and tried to put his arms around Tai.
"No..No! Don't touch me! Just...go away!" Tai shrieked and pushed himself out of Matt's grip.
"Tai, wait a second!" Matt said sharply. He didn't mean to sound so strict but...
"You don't want my baby! You don't want my baby!" Tai was screaming. He had tears streaming down his cheeks. Matt stared at Tai with disbelief.
"Tai, you can't even have a baby, what are you freaking out about?" Matt asked.
"I have to go! I have to go...god..." Tai said. He opened the door and went out, slamming it behind him. Matt stared at the closed door for a few seconds.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tai didn't know where he was going. Unfortunately, there weren't many places to go out in the country. He seemed to be wandering towards the abandoned barn. He was still crying.
"He doesn't...want my baby..." he sniffed. He found himself walking inside of the abandoned barn and sitting down on the hay. He felt numb. Matt didn't want his baby...did that mean Matt didn't want him?
"I love you Matt..." Tai said wiping his eyes. He curled up into a ball and buried his head in his arms, not noticing the cold through the thin sleeves of his shirt.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Matt didn't quite know what to do. "What the fuck just happened?!" he screamed at the now empty room. He sat down hard on the couch and dropped his head into his hands.
'Should I go after him?' He thought to himself. 'No. Maybe I'll just wait and let him calm down a bit first.'
He stood up and paced around the room again. Then a thought hit him. He headed toward the front door. 'OK good.' Tai's car keys were still on the small wooden table just inside the door where he always left them. 'So he can't get too far.'
Then Matt noticed that Tai's winter coat was still hanging on the rack. That made Matt's mind up for him. There was no way he was going to just sit there while his husband traipsed around outside in the cold without his jacket. He was going to go find him and bring him home. He pulled on his boots, grabbed his own coat and gloves and stepped outside.
The evening was dark and chilly. He hoped he would still have enough light to see where he was going. He headed out behind the farmhouse. That would be the most logical place for Tai to go if he was just trying to get away. It was wide-open land, except for the wooded are to the West. And Matt prayed to God that Tai hadn't run in there. He may never find him. He gathered his coat closer around him and started out into the field.
"Tai! Tai, can you hear me?!" no response except for his own echo across the empty field. "Tai, if you can hear me, please answer me!" Again no response.
"Damn it," Matt looked out across the expanse of snow, snow and more snow but saw nothing. He was alone. He couldn't even find any footprints because it had been snowing since he had gotten home hours ago, and it hadn't let up as of yet. Any traces of Tai were covered with the fresh powder.
'C'mon Angel. Where are you?' he thought desperately. It was starting to get really cold, and the wind was picking up. All Matt could do is to keep looking. He continued to trudge through the snow in search of his love...
"Who is out there? You'd better get off my land, I've got a gun!"
Matt stopped where he was and raised his hands in the air. "Whoa there. I'm unarmed."
An elderly gentleman wearing an old pair of red long johns and carrying a nasty looking rifle under his left arm came down the back porch of his house and into the yard to meet Matt. "What do you want?" he sneered.
"Look sir, I don't want any trouble. My Name is Matt Ishida, I live in the farmhouse back across the field."
"Oh yeah. You and that little dark-haired kid. I've seen you around."
"Uh, yes. Well...the thing is...he is sort of...missing." Matt really didn't want to tell this stranger about his personal life. But he was still holding that gun.
"Missing? Out here?"
"Yes. That's the problem. He ran out here a little while ago and I have no idea where he is. He doesn't answer when I call."
"Maybe that's because he doesn't want you to find him."
"Huh?" Matt looked up into the old man's wizened face.
"Lover's spat right?"
"Look, I never said-"
"Don't worry, I know all about it. And I don't necessarily condone it, but I do understand. One of my nephews is gay. So...you and that kid had a fight?"
Matt just sighed. He REALLY didn't want to talk about it. But he was freezing his balls off just standing there so- "Yes."
"Well the way I see it. If he ran to get away from you, then maybe he doesn't answer because he doesn't want you to find him. If he did, he probably wouldn't have run in the first place."
"Come on now mister. He is not a child. Tai wouldn't just hide on me. He wouldn't worry me on purpose. The thing is, he isn't wearing boots or a coat."
"Not a child huh?" was all the old farmer said.
"I don't mean to be rude, but it is getting late and I really must find him."
"All right, all right. I can see how worried you are about him. Let me get dressed and grab a flashlight, and I will help you look for that damn fool kid of yours."
Matt stood there and stared for a moment, "Really?" He was stunned by the kindness of this stranger.
He decided to make a point of he and Tai visiting the old man after this was all over. They were basically neighbors after all.
"Yeah, well we can't have both of you lost out here," and with that he went back into the house.
A few moments later he came back out dressed for the weather and carrying two sturdy flashlights. It was now close to 8:00pm and was very dark out in the pasture.
Matt looked up at the stars and sighed. "Where the hell are you Tai?"
"Are you all right?"
Matt brought his eyes back level and found an old pair of clear blue eyes looking at him with sympathy. "Yes, I'm fine. Can we go now, please?"
"You love him don't you?"
"Yes, with all my heart," Matt whispered. "Uh, I never asked you your name,' he said quickly changing the subject.
Matt had never felt comfortable talking about his relationship wit Tai. Not that he was embarrassed by him, far from it. But it was nobody's business but there own. And if Matt felt that there was something people should know about, he or Tai would tell them.
"Reed Shimozawa," He held out his hand to the young man in front of him. "And you said your name was Matt?"
"Yamato Ishida."
"Well, nice to meet you Yamato. Or do you prefer Matt?"
"Matt is fine."
"OK, Matt let's go find a certain, special young man."
Matt stood still for a minute, "What if he ran into the woods? We may never find him. Especially not in the dark, and it is so cold."
"We'll worry about that when we get to it. Come on."
Matt and Mr. Shimozawa trudged through the snow and the wind, flashlights searching and yelling out Tai's name...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Tai! Tai! Where are you?!" Matt shouted as they crested a huge snowdrift.
"Matt, wait," Mr. Shimozawa grabbed onto the blonde's arm. "Look, just over there. The Kenji's old barn. Maybe he ran in there.
Matt's eyes followed where Reed was pointing. He had passed right by it the first time. "Let's go."
The two crunched through the newly fallen snow toward the decrepit building.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
By this point Tai had cried himself to sleep. He was still curled up in the hay in the old abandoned barn.
He didn't notice that the temperature had dropped considerately. He didn't notice that the wind was biting at his skin through the fabric of his shirt. He didn't know that his teeth were chattering in his sleep. And he didn't notice Matt calling for him just on the other side of the thin barn wall...
"Taichi! Taiiiiii! Are you in there?!"
Matt was cold and tired and now he could add worried to that list. He still hadn't found Tai. He was hoping that the farmer was right and his husband had run into the old, run down structure. Although a small part of him hoped he wasn't there. It didn't look very safe.
"Tai, please I'm sorry!" Matt shouted again. "Why doesn't he answer if he's in there?"
"Maybe we should go in," said Reed. "It couldn't hurt to check."
"I swear to God Taichi, if you are in there answer me now!" Matt screamed at the huge wooden doors. But just as before, there was no response.
"All right I'm going in," said Matt. "Can you give me a hand?"
Matt and Reed grabbed onto the rusted steel handle of the double doors and pulled. At first nothing happened. They appeared to have become frozen, so they pulled harder. And finally the mammoth doors creaked open.
Matt slowly walked in. It was a little bit darker here than outside, there was no moonlight. So he took a second to let his eyes adjust.
"Tai?" he asked quietly.
He heard a sound behind him. It was Reed. He turned back toward the darkness of the barn. "Tai?" he asked again.
Matt shined his flashlight around the interior of the building. He saw bales of hay, ranching tools and tack equipment. Then his light flashed on something in the corner.
He got closer and saw it was his husband. "Tai!" he screamed rushing toward him.
The small brunette appeared to be sleeping. Matt gently turned him over. "Tai?" He shook his shoulder. "Come on Angel, it's me," no response. So he shone the flashlight on Tai's face.
His face was pale, his lips blue and he seemed to be shaking. "Shit!" cursed Matt. "Mr. Shimozawa, we have to get him out of here!"
Reed ran to Matt and looked down at the young man lying in his arms. "He doesn't look good. Let's go."
Matt pulled off his thick winter jacket and placed it around Tai's cold body. Then they have carried, half dragged Tai out of the barn.
"You got him Matt? I really should close it up."
Matt shouldered the weight of his husband, while Reed struggled with the doors. Soon they were on their way...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It didn't take long to get back to the Ishida's farmhouse. Tai didn't stir the whole way. "Thank you sir. I can take it from here."
"I think he'll be all right. Just get that boy warmed up." He turned to leave.
"Mr. Shimozawa? Thanks again. And I am sure Tai thanks you too," he looked at the precious cargo in his arms. "I wish he was awake to talk to you. He is so sweet and kind. I bet you would like him."
"I bet I would too," he smiled. "Just take care of him Matt. You know some people may think that what you two have together is wrong. And I admit, at one time I did too. But if they could see the love you have. I don't think anyone would complain." And with that he left.
Matt opened the door and dragged Tai inside. He kicked off his boots, and made his way into the bedroom.
He carefully pulled his jacket off of Tai and laid him on the bed. Matt started to rub Tai's arms vigorously to restart the circulation. He was ice cold. "Damn it Tai, what got into you tonight? What is going on in that pretty little head of yours?"
Matt had to get Tai warmed up as quickly as possible. He got an idea. He ran into the bathroom and started the bath. Then came back and undressed himself and Tai. He walked Tai into the bathroom and lifted him into the tub, still filling with hot water. He turned off the tap and got in behind his husband.
Matt proceeded to bathe Tai with the hot water all over his body, while holding him in his arms and whispering soothing words into his ear...
"Come on baby, it's me. It's Yami. Please open your eyes for me," Matt said softly trying to hold back the tears. "Please Tai. I love you. I need you back here with me. Come back to me."
It didn't seem to be working. There was still no response. Matt was about to get Tai out of the water and take him to the hospital, when he thought he heard a moan.
"Tai? Tai, it's OK baby. I've got you. Open your eyes. Look at me," Matt pleaded. He was sure that his color looked a lot better.
Slowly a pair of deep brown eyes opened and focused on him.
"Yami?"
"Oh God Tai!" said Matt relieved as he hugged his love close. "You're OK."
Tai looked confused for a moment, "Where are we? And why are we naked?"
Matt gave a little laugh. "We're home Angel. Now let's get you out of the tub."
Matt couldn't help but give Tai one last squeeze before getting out of the water. He wrapped Tai in a big fluffy towel. Then grabbed one for himself. And went back to the bedroom.
He dried Tai off and dressed him in a pair of warm pajamas. Then helped him into bed, and pulled the covers up to keep him warm. Then pulled on boxers and a t-shirt himself.
Tai was silent the whole time. That is until Matt sat on the edge of the bed.
The young blonde man leaned over and gently kissed Tai's forehead. "How are you feeling, beautiful?"
"Oh Yami," whispered Tai with tears in his eyes. He sat up, placed his hands on either side of Matt's face and proceeded to kiss him all over. His lips, cheeks, forehead, eyelids and nose. "I Love you so much." ~kiss-kiss~ "I have always loved you." ~kiss-kiss-kiss~ "I love you so much it hurts!" Tai was now becoming agitated.
Matt didn't know what to do. He had never seen Tai like this before. "Tai, Tai! It's all right. I know you do, baby. I know." He grabbed Tai's hands, pushed him back down onto the mattress. "Calm down it's all right, Tai. We'll talk about it later. Just try to get some rest now."
Matt got up and flicked off the light. He was about to leave when, "Matt?"
"Yeah?"
"I know you might not want to, but can you come lay down with me?"
Matt was confused (although he had been since this whole ordeal started. So why should now be any different?). 'Why wouldn't I want to lay with him?' he thought to himself. So he just said, "Of course Tai."
He got under the covers and snuggled up behind Tai, wrapping his arms around him. "Just go to sleep now. Everything's all right."
Matt laid that way until he heard Tai's breathing even out and become steady. When he was sure he was asleep, Matt carefully extricated himself from around Tai and got out of bed. He padded out into the kitchen.
Matt Ishida ran a hand over his tired face. He had no idea what had happened tonight. He would definitely discuss this with his husband. Something had freaked him out tonight and he was going to find out what it was.
He made himself a cup of coffee and went into the living room. Placing the mug on the table, Matt turned the stereo on low. He popped a CD in the slot and skipped to his favorite song on the album (one not from the Matrix soundtrack! *sticks out tongue at Tabby-chan* :p).
Strains of low haunting guitar chords wafted out of the speakers. Matt sighed and sat on the couch. He took a sip of coffee. 'Well whatever happened tonight, I have my Angel back and that is all that matters,' he thought.
Then he heard a small mewing sound from the corner of the room. He looked, and then looked again. There sat a tiny Siamese kitten. "Who are you?" he said softly going over to pick up the small kitten. "I guess we have a new addition to our family," he smiled.
He sat back, gently stroking the new pet and listened to the soft music:
Lonely sidewalks,
silent night
Bring the evening deep inside
Hold me darling,
touch me now
Let the feelings free tonight
Love is on the way
I can see it in your eyes
Let's give it one more try tonight, baby
Love is on the way
I can see it in your eyes
Let's give it one more try tonight
Time of season,
wipes the tears
No rhyme or reason, and no more fears
All the dreaming,
is far behind
You are here now and everything's all right
Love is on the way
I can see it in your eyes
Let's give it one more try tonight, baby
Love is on the way
I can see it in your eyes
Let's give it one more try tonight
And in the morning I'll be gone away
All the things I left behind
If you need me I'll come night or day
Let's stop the hands of time
Love is on the way
I can see it in your eyes
Let's give it one more try tonight, baby
Love is on the way
I can see it in your eyes
Let's give it one more try tonight, baby
Love is on the way
I can see it in your eyes
Let's give it one more try tonight, baby
Love is on the way
I can see it in your eyes
Let's give it one more try tonight
As the music faded Matt heard a soft, "Yamato?" from the bedroom.
He placed the little cat on the couch, switched off the stereo and entered the darkened bedroom.
"Couldn't sleep?" he asked.
"No, I guess not. I woke up and you were gone."
Matt walked over and flicked on the small lamp beside the bed, to better seethe
man lying in the bed. "Tai, what happened tonight? You could have died
out there in that cold. What could have possibly gotten you that upset?"
He thought for a minute, "Because of that stupid dream I had?"
He looked incredulous.
Tai didn't answer; he just looked down at his hands.
"Tai, please answer me," Matt was tired of being shut out tonight. He had had enough for one evening. "Look Taichi, I ran around in fucking Lord-knows-what-below-zero temperature out there looking for your sorry ass, because you are my husband and I love you. I would do it again and again if I had to, but I will be damned if I don't know why! Now talk to me for Christ's sake!"
Tai looked up at Matt and cringed. Then he started to cry. "Not because of that dream. Because of what you said afterwards!" he wailed.
"What?"
"Y-you said you were h-h-happy that I wasn't pregnant! You are probably happy that I can-can't get pregnant!" he accused.
"Tai-" started Matt, but Tai just continued
"That way you are off the hook. You won't have to ever worry about an accident!"
"Tai, what are you talking about?" For what seemed to Matt to be the 7,000th time tonight, we was again totally lost.
"You are happy that I am not pregnant because you don't WANT to have my baby, because y-you-you don't want me any-anymore! And why would you want to start a family with someone you don't want!!" Tai was now completely hysterical. He sobbed uncontrollably.
Matt was speechless. 'Is that what he really thought?' he wondered. He had to
think back to what he actually said, so he knew what to say to Tai to make it
better.
"Tai. Tai listen to me. No, listen to me."
Tai looked at his husband but continued to cry. Matt had to get him to calmed down enough to talk to him.
"Have I ever lied to you?"
Tai just shook his head indicating the negative.
"Have I ever given any reason for you not to trust me? Tai?"
"No."
"All right then, just listen to me for one moment OK?"
Tai sniffed and then said, "OK."
Matt took his hand. "Tai, I said 'thank God' because you were not hurt. Because you were not lying in some hospital bed hooked up to machines. Because your heart was not broken because you suffered a miscarriage. Because it was all a dream. I was so relieved that you were safe. I admit that I did check to make sure that you were not pregnant, and I am sorry for being rough with you. But as I had told you, I was scared. I was scared that I woke up and you were pregnant, because I knew what was going to happen. I was just glad that the whole ordeal never happened at all. It had nothing to do with you personally. I am sorry if you thought that way. But you were wrong, dead wrong."
Tai opened his mouth to say something, but Matt stopped him by putting his finger against his lips. "Let me finish."
"I wasn't even thinking about starting a family. Now, do I want kids? I don't know maybe some day. But I honestly at this point of my life haven't really thought about it. I am happy the way things are. I have a good job, a nice home and a beautiful husband who I love more than life itself. That doesn't mean that I don't ever want children, it just means that it was never really a factor. I mean, let's face it Tai, we're a gay couple. Neither one of us can give birth. So, maybe that's another reason why I never considered it. But the one thing I do know is that there is nobody on this earth I would rather have kids with than you. And if in the future we decide we do want kids then fine, we will deal with it then. But don't you ever question my love for you! Ever! Do you think so little of me, of our life together? What have I done to make you think that I don't love you anymore?" Matt had a hurt look on his face.
"Yami..." Tai whispered. "You haven't done anything, I swear. It's never been you!" Tai lowered his eyes. "It's me."
"What?" Matt raised Tai's chin until they were face to face again.
"I sometimes wonder why it is that you do love me? I think back to high school when you first asked me out. There you were the most popular guy in school. All the guys wanted to be your friend and all the girls just wanted to be with you. You were 'mister popularity' with more friends than you knew what to do with, and more waiting in the wings for their chance. Then there was me. You and the rest of the Digidestined were the only ones who would speak to me. I had no friends. Everyone thought I was just some freak. In their eyes I wasn't even worth spitting on."
"Tai-chan, it doesn't-"
"No Matt. Let me finish this time," Tai closed his eyes for a moment and then continued.
"All of a sudden I had you. I know we were always friends, but now you were my 'boyfriend'. You could have had anyone you wanted. Boy or girl. But you choose me. And I knew that the other kids talked about us behind our back. I knew that a lot of people were jealous. You did too. Yet, it didn't bother you. You didn't care. All that mattered was me and you." Tai paused and looked at Matt.
"That is still all that matters. But sometimes, if I wake up and you aren't there beside me I get a little scared. I KNOW that you love me. But there is still that little part in the back of my brain that just can't let go of being in high school, of being 16. That can't forget how everyone treated me. That is why I feel so safe when I am in your arms. At least for that moment I have no fear. I guess that fear just got the better of me. I am so sorry Matt! I never meant to doubt you!"
Matt gathered a weeping Tai in his arms and rocked him back and forth, rubbing small circles on his back. "Oh Angel, I didn't know you felt that way. No matter what I will never stop loving you. Do you hear me? Never. I don't care if the entire world hates Taichi Ishida, you can be safe in the knowledge that you will always have me. We will take them all on together."
Tai looked up, "Forever right?"
"Forever, Love."
"I Love you Yami. I am so sorry."
"Shhh, it's all over now. I love you too."
Matt leaned down and pressed his lips against Tai's. Gently at first and then with more pressure. Tai opened his mouth against Matt's probing tongue. He let out a little whimper. Without breaking the kiss, Matt slowly unbuttoned the top of Tai's pajamas.
"Matt...lube?" Tai said through the kissing.
"Naturally love," Matt said. He always kept a travel size tube of Vaseline on the nightstand. He gestured towards it and continued kissing Tai all over. Tai let moans escape his lips as Matt continued his expert kissings and nibblings. He finished unbuttoning Tai's pajama top and pulled it off of him and looked down at his husband.
"Tai, I know I say this twenty thousand times a day, but you really are beautiful."
Tai blushed appreciatively. "Thank you," he whispered. Matt continued to kiss his beautiful husband all over, savoring his taste while Tai uttered soft appreciative moans.
"Like an angel," Matt said, pausing from his kissing to slide Tai's pajama bottoms down. Tai looked up at Matt, while Matt marveled over Tai, like he did every time.
"Matt...you've seen me hundreds of times," Tai said, letting out a groan as Matt stroked his thumb lightly over Tai's erection.
"I have...it's just...always so amazing that I can make you do that," Matt said, feeling himself get hard at seeing his husband.
"Matt..." Tai said. It was becoming unbearable for Tai as he started leaking from the tip.
"Of course love..." Matt said smiling. He wasn't soft himself after all...he pulled off his own pajama bottoms and situated himself. He took the tube of Vaseline off the bedside table and opened it, putting a generous amount of it on his fingers.
"Tai, spread your legs for me beautiful," Matt whispered. Tai did so, and rose up his hips a bit. Matt stuck one finger into his lover, causing a high-pitched moan to emit from the brunette. He kissed him and held the kiss while he stuck another finger into him, finger fucking him gently.
"Ohh...M-matt..." Tai moaned through the kiss. Matt inserted a third and final finger and continued to kiss Tai, thrusting his fingers in gently until he felt loose enough. Tai struggled a bit against Matt, trying to get him to reach his prostate.
"Shhh...soon love, soon."
Matt pulled his fingers out of Tai and added the remainder of the tube to his erect penis.
"Tai...are you ready love?" Matt asked. Tai nodded, looking up at Matt with a flushed face.
"I love you Matt..."
"I love you too..." Matt said, easing himself gently inside of his lover. Tai cried out softly as Matt hit his spot.
"Oh god...Matt..." Tai moaned loudly.
"Tai..." Matt said, resting Tai's legs on top of his bent ones. He leaned down over Tai and started kissing him, sucking on his lower lip, tasting him while Tai cried out between the kisses.
"Ohh...M..Matt...Yami...Matt...Mmmm...Matt..." Tai continuously moaned out as Matt started thrusting into him faster.
Matt started to kiss Tai all over, nipping his shoulders, sucking his nipples, sucking his neck, licking his ears, and causing the brunette to cry out constantly from the overload of pleasure.
"Matt...I...love...you..." Tai managed to gasp out. He arched his body slightly as he felt himself lose all meaning of reality and shoot to the stars.
Matt felt his husband coming and heard him scream his name loudly over and over. Matt gave a few more hard thrusts and felt himself shoot his semen deep into his lover. Tai gave one final scream of Matt's name and fell limp beneath him. Matt pulled out of Tai and managed to crawl off of him before he fell on top of him. He spooned up behind him and rearranged himself.
Matt lay curled up in bed, his beautiful brunette in his arms. He thought Tai was asleep and was drifting off himself, when Tai turned to face him.
"Matt?"
"Huh? What are you still doing awake?"
"Just thinking, about us."
"I thought we settled all that?"
"Yes but, I really am sorry. I would understand if you were mad at me. For what I thought, I mean."
"Angel, I am not mad at you. And if I was, which I am not saying I was. But if I was, I am not now. We talked this all through. I love you, you love me. That's all either of us need to worry about." Matt thought for a moment.
"But while we are talking about it... do you really want children that bad?"
Tai let out a little laugh, "You know what? I don't think so. I really had never really considered it myself until that moment. I think it was just my paranoia thinking that if I did, you wouldn't want to with me. I am very happy just the way things are. And besides, we have enough little ones running around the house as it is without including human children to the mix."
"Oh, that reminds me. I met your new little friend tonight."
Tai blinked, "Who?"
"A little Siamese kitten?"
"Oh no! I forgot all about her."
"Don't worry," said Matt "She's fine. What's her name?"
"Meg."
"Cute, I like it."
"Really?" Tai sat up and stared at Matt. "You never seemed all that impressed with our other cats."
"Yeah, well this one is different. When you were asleep earlier I went out to the living room, just to calm myself down. You really scared me you know."
"I'm sorry Matt."
"No, I didn't bring it up to make you feel guilty. My point is that while I was sitting out there by myself the house was so quiet. I heard her cry. And there she was in the corner all by herself. So we comforted each other. She is really sweet. I kinda like her, Tai."
Tai smiled, "See? Cats aren't so bad. I'm glad Matt. I wasn't sure how'd you'd react to me bringing home yet another pet. Especially another cat. But I can't help it. I can't stand to think of an animal that will become homeless. Better with us than on the street, right?"
"Whatever you want baby, is fine with me," Matt reached out and grabbed Tai, and pulled him back down with him. "But for now what do you say we get some sleep?"
Matt kissed Tai, then snuggled closer to him.
"I love you Yami."
"I love you too Angel, sweet dreams."
The End
Well thank you for reading my weird-ass fic. Don't worry I do know that men cannot get pregnant. This dream thing wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it. And for those who may be wondering, the song Matt was listening to is called, 'Love Is On The Way' by Saigon Kick. It is a beautiful song. It has always been one of my favorites. If you get a chance, listen to it. :0)
-Chan