Its 10PM and I've been having this Pepsi drink craving all day, since yesterday to be exact. I had a can of Pepsi for lunch, but that didn't satisfy me. I need one of those bottles and I'm too lazy to get out and go to the store. If only I had someone who is willing to do it for me... oh the agony!
Saturday February 28 2004 10:15PM
Depressed.
(again)
Ok, so what, yeah, I'm depressed. I was just going over on what I have to do this week... seems very full. I start math tutoring this tuesday, hopefully I get a female tutor instead of a guy, but I have to sign up tomorrow morning. IZ is finally published! Took us about two months. I am so tired. You cant imagine how exhausting it is just to think on what needs to be done. Oh well... I need to stay positive. And the other thing I was going to complain about was my cold. My nephew just wouldn't stop coming over until I catch it. I've caught it. Basically sneezing every five minutes. Woo hoo (yeah right).
Sunday February 22 2004 3:25PM
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
February 10, 'o4. I got Zephyr Inc. (which is Di by the way) to create this layout for me... ok, I know! Its pretty scary compared to that "street racers edge" to it... the rims are pretty scary
*shivers*
Today, 02.15.04, I got together with friends (it was a pot-luck really and my friends just happened to be there) so... "LULU" lol, she hates it when I call her that (only to be called that by her mother) but hey, its funny to tease just a little. Yes, I can be very naughty. "LULU" had this idea of putting up a volley ball net when none of us know how to play. We spent an hour trying to put it up, then we realize there was a paper for instructions. Okay, maybe just me realized that there was instructions... I was basically watching the idiots trying to keep the pole up. Finally! Thank god a couple of them knew how to make up teams. The score was 0 to 5. Unfortunately I was on the team that a score of zero. As soon as we rotated and another girl was serving, we was jumping points in seconds! We had 7 to 5!
So yeah... I had fun. And not to mention that I came home with aches. People are so lucky... they get tomorrow off. I still have to go to "school" bummer...
Tear Dropped: Sunday February 15 2004 9:20PM
Today was so exhausting.
1. I studied for tomorrows "big test"
2. I "washed up" my crippled ex-grand aunt (we don't get along) and the thing about it, it sucks doing something nice for a person you really hate. Especially when that person has damaged your poor little heart.
3. On my so called break, I had to clean up the kitchen, more like clean and scrub out the refrigerator, which has made my back sore. Really my dad started but it seems that he didn't want to finish the job (again). Is it just me or am I always taking over someone's chore?
I guess I just have to do a little review in the morning just to make sure I have everything in my little peanut brain. And because I got wet while cleaning out the refrigerator, I took a shower. The shower helped a little. I wonder if I should put something on this blog page... it seems plain. Maybe I should consider putting one of my drawings on the left side?
Hmm...
KEEEE!!! Yesterday after class (yes, I do go to school 6 days a week but on saturdays I go from 1 to 5PM) as I was waiting around for my ride, I couldn't believe my eyes! The most gorgeous guy was there. I've noticed him before but I didn't take him too seriously and today for some reason he suddenly cought my eye. Too bad I have no idea what his name is... known as "The Cute Chinese Guy". God... I'm getting desperate again! hehe... I'm laughing my little butt off.
Tear Dropped: Sunday February 8 2004 7:49PM
Benevolent.
If you don't know what that means look it up. Of course I feel tired! But anyway, today was just 'okay'. Once again I was feeling "nice". At the ATM machine, this guy left his bank card in. I tried giving it back to him but as soon as he saw me waving my little arms at him, he just drove off. I guess he thought I was going to steal from him or something but I took the courtesy to bring the card home, snip it into pieces, and throw it in the trash. Hey! I could've just left the card there, letting someone take advantage of him by spending, using, or whatever they do to ruin peoples credit. I think today was better than the other day, you know, the depressing day. It was all because I was tired and now that I've slept all day, I'm back to my normal self. Math test, my intructor told me to take it next week and take a comp. test instead. I think we're all being procrastinators... teachers don't feel like checking math homework by telling you to do something easy. I go online thinking I can do my homework later. But it's all good. Man, I can't wait until LP's CD comes out again. Their tunes are repeating over and over in my head.
Tear Dropped: Tuesday February 3 2004 10:40PM
The party was boring. I woke up happy and ready for the day, but so much can happen to destroy it. Kids flipped me the finger, guys stared at me, a stupid cashier took for ever to just count my change, I mean I even offered to count it myself. And the party! I was so depressed I didn't really socialize, my morning is what turned my 'anti-social' button back on. I was too depressed to even watch the football game which I feel bad about, but I know I have a house full of guys who are willing to tell me all about it. I don't know if I can even describe the way I feel. Feeling down, broken hearted, very depressed, and maybe I feel a little excluded. And missing my country so much... watching Asian movies and seeing girls in a Thai dance class didn't really help. I watched how those girls slowly moved their legs and hands and it really came to me that Thai dancing isn't really that different from Bali dancing. And I even have the travel channel on and they're talking about Tokyo. I don't know if Di would mind but I went to her site again just for the fun of it and I'm glad I'm not the only person suffering in math class. And I have to switch program instructors. College has really been on my mind. "What if I don't make it" is planted in my brain. Maybe it was because one of the ladies at the party was bragging about her daughter being in UCSD, which is supposed to be the university I really want to go to. Right now I'm trying my hardest to study for the Stanford courses, my father said "UCSD would be happy to accept Stanford rejects". What is that supposed to mean? Am I smart enough to make my father including I proud? I hope so. My ultimate dream is to become a doctor, I was looking at other universities and they say I need to have an alternate career of choice just in case it doesn't work out... I don't have an alternate choice! A lawyer perhaps? And I'm not sure if Imperfection Magazine will last long enough to have it's own office's, though I have the feeling I'm the only one who dreams about that. Or am I just a dreamer. I know I sound insecure but I don't really want to share all this with a person because I know all I'm going to get in a reply is total silence. If you personally knew me you would think that a person like me would never get depressed or down because of my happy spirit and cheerful voice but I guess they need to get to know me some more. I really like Di and Jen, they're really cool. Di is funny. I'm wondering where Jen is. This week I just felt like sending anyone I didn't care who a card and a teddy bear, but since all my friends don't really care that much for me because I don't like the same things they do. But theres always Anisha. I got her a card yesterday and maybe sometime this week I can get her a teddy before saturday because I only see her at least once a week, she too is in one of my "special saturday" extra course. I would love to send Di and Jen something but I know their parents would freak out... that's what parents do. Mike, my obsession. He's married now. Ever since I found out about that he just doesn't seem that appealing as he was before, well duh because he's taken. I still think he's cute but I must move on. I hate this layout for La Tear Drop. Already it seems forever old to me but I have no idea when I can find the time to make a layout from scratch. I had the time to make this one because my dad was out on a business trip for 2 weeks. So, that's enough time for me to make a layout and post it up. I'm just really moving slow right now. And I really have this urge to write a sad teen love story, unfortunately the CD-RW drive isn't here. If I do write it... it would be the first time in three years.
ZERO TIME!!! ADIOS...
>Tear Dropped: Sunday February 1 2004 5:19PM
Today was moving slow, or maybe it's just the music I'm downloading...
Let's see... I went shopping, stocked up on Starbucks, can you believe when I got home Di was gone! But I don't blame her, I did take a long time. Great, I got invited to a party tommorow, on Super Bowl Sunday! I guess I'll go and just leave early. A party??!! This means I have to 'dress up' and make myself look pretty... oh joy. My mother has made a mountain of egg rolls and I can't wait to eat them, her cooking has the house smelling like food. Awesome.
Tear Dropped: Saturday January 31 2004 4:21PM
Just came back from a run... I left around 4 a.m. and got back at around 6 it was awesome. I kept running, I couldn't stop myself, I love the feeling of "escaping" as people would call it. It's monday. A lot of work to do, bills to pay, semester contracts to sign... but at this moment I am just being a procrastinator (again) but I'll get to it later on. God, I hate this thing. Maybe I should get a new computer? I just bought a CD-R and it's like so not following my commands! GRRR... Posted at DW. I guess I should get some breakfast and coffee and get the day started. Hooray.
Tear Dropped: Monday January 26 2004 7:10AM
Just when I thought the day couldn't get any depressing than it already was... it started to rain, finally. I felt over joyed. I stuck my hand outside to feel it drip into my palm, it was great. I knew it was going to rain right when I woke up this morning. When I opened the window, I could smell it. Unfortunately it didn't last. But at least I got just a couple of minutes of joy. Maybe it'll rain tommorow, I hope so.
Tear Dropped: Wednesday January 21 2004 10:57PM
Today, I was just so tired. Ever had a day where you just woke up tired and exhausted when you're supposed to wake up refreshed? Well, not today. All my hard work at home, school, putting up with the "big" family is very tiring. I'm like really suffering from fatigue and maybe slight depression... since I'm not eating my usual amounts, but at least I'm eating. I slept all day, just neglecting my homework. Then, I started cleaning everything, doing dishes, constantly folding clothes, but hey! I got the house work chores done! Hooray to me! ^.^;;
I checked out if my Norton software was up to date. I found a couple of viruses, nothing big. One got me, titled as 'picture.zip' and I assume... wait, I know it was Tommys stuff because yesterday he was talking about it. I'm not mad, he warned me about it and I think I forced him to send it (I didn't believe him at first) though his so-called 'hacking' didn't work, I guess poor him. Thank you Norton! Other than that, everything seems to be quite alright. Boy, I'm starting to feel tired again... I guess I should shut down, crash on the couch, and watch a little T.V. Comic View might be on...
Tear Dropped: Tuesday January 20 2004 10:35PM
I spent all day with Di. Of course we had a lot of fun, well, I thought so. I just wish it would rain. I feel like a rainy day. I also found out that Mike, the Emcee, Vocals, Sampling, of LP is half Japanese! You know what that means... (my crush shall increase). At first, Mike's last name 'Shinoda' made me curious, then I find out his middle name is Kenji. Mike Kenji Shinoda, now that right there just confirms it. I have no idea why this is happening! It's like I've become obsessed with him in under two seconds. But anyways, yeah, I loads of fun with Di.
Tear Dropped: Saturday January 18 2004 11:03PM
Today I feel a little better. Just finished doing some IZ work. No, no Starbucks today. Earlier, I got some really expensive jade earings that are like mega heavy. I keep thinking about getting a 5th piercing but I just don't really know yet. Blah! I just looked in my wallet and theres like zero cash! >.<
I also adopted a NeoPet! Her name is MaiMai000 and shes from an Aisha species.
>
Tear Droppped: Monday January 12 2004 8:29PM
It looks like it's 10PM. I feel wide awake... because I had 8 jumbo size frappuccinos from Starbucks (caffeine addict). Right now, I'm starting to feel lonely. Needing someone to love, to be held, am I desperate? Well, yes at this current moment I am. My desire is rising. For whom? I still have no one. Theres Simon but he's just too busy doing his karate kicks-n-stuff... feeling so alone *poor me*
Tear Dropped: Sunday January 11 2004 10:12PM