When I first got the car, at traffic lights or in jams, it was the most cantankerous beast I had ever driven. The clutch was jumpy and difficult to hold, it stalled willy-nilly, sometimes it wouldn't accelerate away from lights, and sometimes it wouldn't sit idling in jams - it would just pack up and refuse to go anywhere. Sometimes it would lose all acceleration in 2nd gear. So clearly there was something wrong. I was on my way to work one fairly hot morning when the car really started to piss me off. It stalled at the front of the lights with a huge jam of traffic behind me and on an upward incline and simply refused to start. Just before it stalled I had got the fright of my life when I had thought I had seen wisps of smoke coming out of the bonnet. It sounded flooded and with people hooting and cursing behind me I eventually got out and started trying to push it off the road. Amazing how many big strong men just stare, or keep going, when they see a petite girl trying to push a car on her own up a hill. Eventually someone did stop and helped me get the car out of the way. I called work, told them I would be late, and sat to wait a bit to see if I could get it to start. No joy, it sounded flooded first try even after flushing the engine through and waiting half an hour. So I called the AA.

The bloke who came wasn't very thorough, muttering under his breath about women drivers and informing me that I had simply flooded it. Damn that car, - it started fine and appeared to have nothing wrong with it when he tried to get it going. I told him I thought I had seen smoke, but he refused to believe me, and refused to look under the bonnet even though I asked him to. Normally I have nothing but respect, praise and gratitude for the AA, but this bloke was dreadful. Anyway, I carried on to work, all the time looking out for any more wisps of smoke, but the car seemed fine. Until the journey home that evening...

Sitting in a traffic jam on the way home, the car refused to idle, simply dying every time I took my foot off the accelerator pedal. After numerous restarts it eventually refused to start at all, and so I had to push it off the road again, and, so furious I was almost in tears, called the AA for the second time that day. This time the bloke that came out was really nice though, listening to everything I had to say about the car and taking it all seriously. He quickly discovered why it was having trouble idling - someone had set the engine idle speed too low, presumably to save a few pence on petrol. He soon had that adjusted, and we managed to get the car started. However, he was concerned about all the other "symptoms" I had mentioned. He found that there was water in the oil reservoir, - not a good sign, and so decided to follow me home to see how the car performed. If it managed to get home, I would take it to the garage the next day, and if it didn't, he would be on hand to help out. The car was fine until the next set of traffic lights, where it refused to accelerate and got very sluggish. There was definitely smoke coming out from the engine too. When we got to my road he had another look at it and then drove it, hard, around the block, with me in the passenger seat. Suddenly there was smoke everywhere. Pouring out of the exhaust, flooding out from under the bonnet, thick black smoke. "Um, you might want to get out of the car now" he said. His diagnosis was that the head gasket had blown. He towed me to the garage where we put the keys and a note through the door for the mechanic to find the next morning. And then he drove me to the pub before heading off to his next callout. Lovely man.

It was indeed the head gasket. The garage told me that in Renault 5s the gaskets are made from aluminium and to ensure that they are just right have to be machined from scratch when being replaced. They also had a fine time of it getting all the oil out from the system and all the water out from where the oil should be, etc. The whole thing cost me about �300, but I was reassured that it was extremely unlikely that I would ever have another problem with the head gasket.

The mystery of the missing water and the overheating engine

The car now performed perfetly, no stalling, no difficulty holding it at biting point, no acceleration problems. It was like driving a different vehicle altogether.

However, I was now quite wary of the car and so was actually not surprised when a few months later the temperature warning light came on. I pulled over and let the car cool down and then drove on to my destination, where, the next morning, I checked the water reservoir. It was empty. I filled it right up and then started out on the drive home. Only a few hundred metres down the road the temperature light came on again and I could hear bubbling and boiling noises. I pulled onto the verge sharpish, popped the bonnet, and let it all cool down. Then I checked the water again. Completely empty. I filled it up and sat down to wait for half an hour. Then I checked it again. Empty. Great, so there must be a leak in the system that is so bad I won't even be able to drive to a garage, I thought. Cue the wonderful AA again! The chap towed the car off the busy bypass and into a quiet side street, where he filled up the water again for me. But, again, the water just vanished. It wasn't coming out onto the road or going anywhere obvious, but it meant that once the engine had been on for more than about 2 minutes it started to overheat. Didn't help that it was hot summer weather. He filled the water reservoir as full as it would go and rigged the fan so that it would run constantly, thus keeping the engine a bit cooler and meaning that I could just about get the car the few miles to the garage. The mechanic spent a whole day depressurising and repressurising the engine, testing every last atom to find that leak. And he found nothing at all. And not only did he find nothing, but the water miraculously stopped disappearing about halfway through his tests and the car was fine again. Thankfully he didn't charge me anything for the hours and hours of time he had spent on it. He was completely mystified - and the mystery has not been solved to this day, although I have never had a temperature or "missing water" problem again. I have found however that in the warmer months especially, the car does get through slightly more water than you would expect it to - and so I make a habit of checking it very regularly now.

I have been told that this might be due to the replaced head gasket not sitting quite right - but since I don't appear to have any trouble at the moment, I have taken the decision to leave it well alone!

Amazing MOTs

In December of that year, less than a year after I had got it, I was dreading the MOT, wondering what else could go wrong with the car. To my surprise and delight it passed the MOT with absolutely no work needed, and so in celebration I splashed out on a full service for it complete with new spark plugs, fluid changes etc.

There followed an entirely stress-free year of motoring, when my only problems really were where I could get LRP - something which many petrol stations appear to not stock anymore, and long discussions about how the car would fare if I tried premium unleaded instead. I haven't tried it yet, - not sure that I dare! By this point I had spent around �500 on the car in total, not including insurance and petrol. The MOT rolled around again in Decmeber 2005, and this time I was quietly confident. The car had behaved perfectly all year and I had looked after it well. So I thought there would be no problems at all. And, aside from a small amount of welding to the left sill, I was right. However, I am very cross with the mechanic who carried out the welding, as it is a complete bodge job and will definitely need doing again.

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