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Junior high school (what’s my dream?)

“kesabaran itu berjarak satu jengkal dengan kebahagiaan”

“God will never leave us”

“manjadda wajadda”

I  don’t give you  quotes but I just tell you many quotes that I took from novel and many other kind of books.  So cool right, I just can’t imagine how cool I’m, if I become a writer and a professional journalist. Yes, I really like that job because I think I can put my imagination in my own book later and if I become a professional journalist I can go every where to find many news and to know everything which I haven’t know it. I think that’s job is so cool for me, and I will never feel bored because I will not only stay in place J

 I really like to read many books and take the messages from each book that I read so I can apply the good things in my life. Start from 5^th years old when the first time I can read I have read so many book, and I already took so many messages from that book.  I don’t know, I really like everything that have correlation with philology, but until now I’m not so sure with my dream. I’m still have many dream in my mind and I’m still confuse which one the best dream that I will choose later.

Junior high school phase

My clock showed me if the time was already 10 p.m. and actually that was the time for me to slept, but I didn’t know I can’t sleep because tomorrow was the first time for me in my new junior high school so I just felt so nervous to faced my new school and new friends there. I saw all of people in my home already slept but I was still sited and saw all of things which I must bring for orientation I just want everything happens like I want, so I prepared everything, and I also read the data about the student that accept in this school because their good achievement in their elementary school. I saw my name in that paper “SARI PURNAMA HIJAH”. Yeah I was so proud with that because  my name already arranged with the other name of smart student from the other elementary school. I know this is not  a big achievement if I compare with the other people in this world which is they already get more achievement than me, but I was still proud with my small achievement. My father said with me this the beginning of my life and I must continue it. (Because I have think  so hard I was so tired and slept  and I forgot all of the things and I will continue it later). Hmm I promise with my self I will design the best future for my life.

In the morning, my mom woke me up at 5 a.m., and I directly pray and took bath. After that I directly prepared  with my sport uniform from my elementary school because I haven’t get my new uniform  from junior high school at that time. Then, I came to in front of television and directly watched my favorite cartoon movie because my mom said we will go at 7.30 so I just relax in front of my television because now the time was 7.00 and I took my breakfast so slowly, and I let my mom did the preparation. I didn’t know why the time walk so fast, and we see the time already 7.30, so I directly went to my junior high school with my mom use my motorcycle. Before that I shake the hand of my father and also said with my little brother if I will go to my new  school, and the first word that I heard from my father when the first time I want to go to my school is “show your best with me”, and I know my father so serious with that word but because I was still a child so I didn’t really care with that word..

On the way, I just silent and I imagine what will happen in my new school, will I get a new friends there ( I asked with my self), I was afraid nervous and I didn’t know I just didn’t want face my new school with new people also. Suddenly, my mom said with me , “calm down honey, keep spirit!” You can do the best that you can. I didn’t know maybe my mom heard me when I was talking in my heart. The words from my mom make me felt calm and comfort. Around fifteen minutes  I already in front of my new school, and I enter that school without my mom anymore like when I enter my elementary school. Before I enter this school, I smile with my mom , I just want to make sure if my mom still there and I can run from this school if there is someone make me afraid (yup, this was so funny I think, I still have a crazy planning although I was already in junior high school). I was 11^th years old when I entered junior high school (SMPN 1 LAWANG KIDUL). Start it with student orientation or we called it MOS. Yeah, I go to my new classroom directly, 7.1 class . All of people said this is the best class, because the student that can enter to this class is the best one. I know I was already late, because I saw all of students were  already sited in the chair except me. (huh I get badmood  because I came late, this was the first time I came to my school but I was already late. I know this was because of my mom get wrong schedule). My advisor was already come to my class, his name is Mr. mat salmi, and we call him Mr. salmi, he let me to sit down. And I sited beside my new friends, her name is dea alnisrina (she is my first friend which sited beside me and I knew her name because she studied in elementary school in front of my school, and she is so famous, so that’s why I knew her). Then my advisor told us, if we should clean up our classroom also our school environment with broom, mop and another equipment that we bring. Around 9 a.m. we finished that activities and old woman came to my classroom, she was also my  new teacher. She told us about building arrangement in this school and after that she asked us to made a map about this school, actually I and the other students were still confused but we were still made it based on that teacher explanation. I just though if that was so bored orientation, because we just stay in my classroom until 11 a.m. and then the teacher let us to  go back to our home. I saw my new friends, their face was not really friendly I though, because in this first day I haven’t know all their name I just knew around ten students from thirty seven student. On the way I saw around three hundred students, I just though I should become the best student from three hundred students here to make my future better. This was my journey. I found my mother in front of my school, I said with her,”mom let’s go back”. Yeah this was the first day in my new school, and I know I should adaptation with this condition. One week I did my orientation in my new school, with many activities, like eat apple competition, kucing – kucingan games, and after orientation I was already have new friends, and I knew their name.

Day by day I pass in this school, I get new friends here and I was already comfort with this school. Every day my father ask me “how your school?”, “how your score?”, because my father saw me if I didn’t have good performance in this school. My father was so disappointed with me, he said with me he didn’t think so if I will get top 3 student in my class. Every day in the night my father always gave me suggestion  “make your goals, and work hard”. I just silent when I heard my father said like that. I just talked in my heart “I want do that, but I didn’t know I look like lose my spirit here” maybe because I saw my friends in my class look like smarter than me. Day by day I passed in this school, I always got not really bad score but this was not good score. I knew I never work hard to get good score so that’s way my score just pass the standard, if I want to compare with my friend cindi this was so far away. (yeah, cindi is the smartest student in my class and always get best score). My father said I must get good score like cindi, but I said with him “I can’t dad” and my father directly be angry with me because he knew nothing is impossible in this world. I knew my father was so right but I didn’t knew I didn’t want my father force me, I was so tired every night my father made a review about my score and everything that have correlation with my education. My father really want to see me have good achievement in my academic education start when I was in elementary school and he believe if I can! Sometimes, I get tired but I knew my father so care with me. My father so different with my mother, if my mother she just want to see me relax with my life, she let me to walk on my own way, and she never force me. But I know my parents still same, all of them are so care with me.

After sharing session with my father, I cried, I was so disappointed with my self because I can’t make my parent always be proud of me. I went  to my bedroom, I knew tomorrow was my distribute rapport, I felt afraid because I knew my rapport result will not good like when I was in elementary school. So, to made my self felt calm I just slept and before that I pray with God I just hoped if my rapport will not really bad, although I knew my rapport will not really good…

Today (Saturday morning) was important day for me and all student here, because today our advisor will distribute our rapport. I was not really spirit now, not like when I was in elementary school I always become the best one but now I knew every thing was different, so I should find different way to make every things  better.

In school’s field my teacher called one by one students that became the best student in this semester each of grade. I didn’t care whom that became the best student in grade 8 and 9, I just knew if the best student were cindi, ata, and indah. They are my friends from my class 7.1, they gave me motivation and I knew if I can do like them also. “Came in front and get best top three in grade 7”. (When everyone busy with this event, I saw my mother there, I knew she was disappointed with me but she still smile with me to gave me motivation). After gather in the field, all of student with their parents went to the class to got their rapport with their advisor based on their class. I went to my class with my mom, I said with my mother “mom sorry”. I just saw my mom smile with me. All of parents came to 7.1 class. I just silent in front of my class with the other students, I saw most of them also showed the worried face same like me. I heard dimly from outside if my advisor mention all of the student that became top ten in my class, and I heard there is no my name. Then, my advisor called the name of student based on absence list. My name start with “S” so I with my mother must wait for  long time. One by one of my friends already went to their home and then my advisor called my name, and I saw my mother came to the teacher’s table. My advisor told something with my mother and after that he gave my rapport to my mother. Then my mother and I went to my home.

On the way, I asked with my mother ”how about my rapport?”. My mother just said with me if I got 15^th rank from 37 students and I directly asked with my mother “are you angry mom?”. My mother just answered “no, just work hard for the next semester”. My mother didn’t want to be angry with me and she just gave me spirit, but I still disappointed with this condition, and I promised I will make a change!!!!

In the night, my father already came and he asked with me “how about my rapport?”. I just silent for a while and then I said with him “I got 15^th rank from 37 students dad, sorry”. Then, my father saw my rapport “hmm just make it better next semester”.  I knew my father was disappointed with me, but I can’t do anything now. I just promise with myself if I will improve my performance and my score next semester. I will make my father believe me again, and he must know I’m still the best from the best student here. (I know I’m so ambitious hehe)

Rebuild your life

Today the first day of my holiday. I knew if I just cried with this fact I will not change everything so I will make the list of the things that I must get in next year and next semester. Then, I will focus with my goal, but now I was still confused with my goal or my dream I was still asked with myself “what’s my dream?”. Maybe,  around one hour I was thinking in front of my book. Yeah I got it know I want became a doctor, I promise with my self I will work hard so I can become a doctor in the future. Of course my father agree with my dream, when I said with him about this he just said “continue it and spirit. Pray with God and focus with your academic and your dream”.

I write my dream in my book and write everything that came in my mind. I really like write everything in my own private notebook. I didn’t know I felt really comfort when I write everything there. I hope when I open my notebook, I will find my self. I will read everything that I have done in the past time. I was sad, happy, and I did many activities I will write there. So, I will knew letter if my life is so colorful and I must thankful with God. Also I will write many good word that I took from many book to give me motivation when I lose my power.

What’s my dream? I felt confuse…

I passed my holiday only in my home, watched the television, read the books, and did sharing session  with my father, because I know my father can became my friends to open my mind and see the world. Sometimes, I have discussion with my father about news that we watch in the television, and my father asked me “ what is the solution from that problem?”. I just answered best on my mind, and sometimes my father laugh because my solution was not the best solution. I knew my mind haven’t understand yet how the way to solve a big problem…

Okay, just forget all. That was just my experienced with my father to spend our time in my holiday time.

Today, this was the first day of new semester in grade 7  in my junior high school. I was so spirit, I started my strategy but still the result didn’t show like I want. I just got 10^th rank in my class but I should say thank with God because I can made improvement in this semester. My father just smiled with this result. And I continue my effort until I graduate from this school. Yes, I get it!!!

First semester in grade 8 I got 6^th rank, second semester in grade 8 I got 10^th rank. First semester in grade 9 I got 2^nd rank in my class. I knew now, I can change the bad condition in the past time and my parent were so proud of me. I prove it with my father, and the best thing that I got was I can study in senior high school with scholarship and I graduate from my junior high school with good score. I believe if everything will be based on our effort because effort equal to the result.

But when I want to enter SMAN SUMATERA SELATAN, I still asked with myself “what’s my dream?”when I was in grade 7 I want become a doctor, then I change it in grade 8 I want become a business woman and then in grade 9 I felt I should seriously with my dream and then I got it I want became writer like andrea hirata and professional journalist. I talked with my father and he was so shock and he ask me “are you sure?”  I just said I didn’t know dad, I just want to spend my life with the things that I like write and write and I want to go to many country with my profession as a journalist. Then, my father said with me that was not realistic reason I still want to see you become a doctor or you can still have  the other that you can reach. I knew my father was disappointed with me again. But again and again now I just want to focus with my academic education and my dream. I will wake up from bad condition and change it with best condition like when I failed in junior high school. Again and again I will make my parent believe me if I know my self and I know my dream although I know they are so disappointed with me and my dreams but I will make them smile latter on J

I just want to see them happy with my own way.

                 With my friends X.3 class

We learn together, walking together to reach our dream J

SARI PURNAMA HIJAH