Slipping dizzy decent Down the prophetic (land) slide I need to understand w34hat they know Black and white 69+++rainbow room Emanates a mad collection Of sounds and truths Emanates a sad reflection Of unwashed darkened corners devoid of crimson light The less sleep I have The more layers I see And my mind is turned the other way A(pause0Thousand) gold points of light (pause)�..retract�..twitch pause gripping the edge and the wheel slipping none the less (pause) shadows weave suspicions(ous) loom(s) (pause0) who is my mirror? When will apparitions of me confront me? (comfort me) judge the worth and value of a thought and he sent a raven out a seeker of hope and a believer of nothing ���) ^i ^ (�.. and angels fell mute) Who is watching over you���
my soul is pounding and pulsing you.... i have failed to utter a single word or phrase worthy of you in the panic i'm mirroring mirror ring the beginning of the universe is in seizure waiting on the edge of manifest a blood filled heart to explode at any slight variation of shadow catatonia to still the birth dissolution of the soft womb scaling scaling scaling to conquer the wholeness and invoke the violence of subtlety lashing at the fear that comes crashing in like a wild horse taming the beast bridling it back in - from its fury to conjoin with chaos the abyss lying gaped open between them like a wound or like the open mouth of a howling black dog � the eyes are inverted mirrors the moon is seeing a sun where there is only a moon on the other side gazing back infinitely one sphere lit by one star death is the two conjoined at birth oceans of moonlit skin ripple and wave the heart begins to beat the pattern of division in the undulating wakes and still i have yet to utter a single word worthy of you or consummate or complete a single delicate gesture or touch that is fitting to express *us* the slightest breeze on the back ov my neck a single flicker of a candle the beating of a raven�s wing a drop of water shivering on a blade of grass water softly slapping onto a buoy in the dead of night the soft eternal gaze of glazy cat eyes or a twitch of cool soft velvet whiskers such violence in a shadow creeping its way across the ground tick - tock the anguish of space and time hearing the silences and not the space between them transcending time but not space transcending space but not time never both all is mirroring across the abyss refraction and inversion the heart beating the pattern of illusion gazing up into the fishbowl swimming birds braiding mantras of nothing. (from the void)
Are you awake wide eyed catatonia? never sleep again and again and again pulse again... where is this dream "really" taking me? what constitutes dissolution? pirouettes on rootless and clumsy legs translating themselves out of phase LOVE CREEPS UNDER YOUR SKIN LIKE A DISEASE ~~~~~ EVERY MOVEMENT IS A CHOREOGRAPHED AVALANCHE ~~~~
Your pretend smile for show Not even for me �Look, I love her but�� Whip the light away Kill your faucking raven Black wings beating On your rotting dreams Mock your successor Your success I �AM� you! Reminder of your weakness? Little lightening on your perfect storm? Explain me to your guests Save your insideous self Laugh nervously, change the subject shine your teeth and sing your vowels in a mad display your guests toss you the obvious, looking for something sacred while you throw totems into the mix to define who you are not. The dynamic of humans in a fishbowl I am the walking departed unwelcome ghost the uninvited dinner guest reverberating reminder of yesterday�s trash an attic toy old newspaper Your raven with those beating black wings Always moving��� always moving
Home again, where it all began...... perhaps where i began and ended - and nonetheless in the face of an angry fragmented mess i left behind.... If i can hold this all together, I can "CLOSE" the book. One could ponder new perceptions endlessly, is this a paradigm shift, a visual distortion, a lie told so perfectly its facets are as perfect as a diamond labyrinth? Just a continuation of the fall perhaps or an ascent to my true self?, or rather, "my masks are only a reflection of my true facelessness" My path.... littered with angry faces and skin crawling with betrayal - what have i done???? If I can hold this all together, perhaps i should WRITE a book.... (names and places have been altered to protect the guilty) i keep citing failure but a voice tells me this could be genius..... GENIUS? Harmony of a higher order? or the frail offerings of a mad disease? or the frail offering of a higher order? Network neighbor*hoods*, sitting all night in your favorite "bar" - validation specials on Thursday, narcissistic saturday night, no cover.... you wanna go where nobody knows your name - so you can scream it out in electric streams of consciousness - ALL of your names!!!! Suture yourself together with amnesty and time displacement and then fall apart and make everyone watch - bleeding somnambulist.... emoticon whore, every smile perfect to the pixel...., frowns are uniform and washed of human ugliness - reach out and touch yourself! fingers skating slyly across the letters - bring me intoxication - a fucking exhibitionists dream!! I AM going to make you look! Every day brings a new special plan - a new pattern of tendrilling and tangling - everything is real, just amplified by itself and how it is perceived by others.... "We've been discussing your displays at length and we believed we have been mocked" You have. Sad actually. leaping through ascii, mail, music, photos, a perfect record of time passing, perfect binary bliss
Slow down the speed of light by one frame per second And everything trembles Language would be rendered meaningless� all perception a circus of mad seizure�vision of heaven��
What appeared as a visual distortion was actually a paradigm shift i need to immortalize this moment in time again bring me into the fold i am unfolding i need to name this moment - or glyph it (love) bring me into you (more more more) another veil has been removed (love) we are wizards of light, you have transformed me what is this? (love love love) blooming the night progresses i have never been touched before i am not afraid of you (disturbance in the system (more more more oooooooh yessssss) i am sliding rip me open i will bleed into you (love) must find a word for this (love love love) i am trying to match your waves and increase their amplitude unlock the frequencies (love?) words dissect what isn't nothing has been grasped (love) nothing
Make me laugh... i need something to help me cough up this poisoned apple.. perfecting imperfection trace over still black lines spinning the redundancy wheel (dull hyp-nosis in groups) time spins like a wheel process the process "grief is a good healer" elves gather in clandestine meetings string audible words together ACCIDENTAL PEARLS adverse gravity clowns stealing truth from rotten candy mouth jaw broken hanging helplessly agape mosaics of my mouth in the mirror drool lies kiss truth double jeopardy playing itself shifty eyes eluding contact pleading with NO LOGIC a child rocking in natures corner sabotaging with unrelenting mockery seducing with mischief incapacitating possibility steeping slowly to the left of the minds mirror... moving through fours and squares.... unfold perception from linear to landscape spinning the mirrored ball on my foot? casting shadows steady manifest balance the mirror bending i-mages at will. 2x2 narcissistic rage projected in standard frames per second illusions of light in a darkened room in a war with war unraveling in de-vision futility in its finest hour time folds into itself (infolding? this is a new phrase) suturing significance into its fabric by awareness of repetition meaning measured by reference of meaning purpose measured in rotation infinate ways to duel duality metaphor metamorphosis thousands of pictures, one word boundless rings to jump through around one sphere well look at that... ive gone and set myself up again.... back to sphere one. whole divide whole divide whole divide whole divide cell division witness the creation and watch it perish mental masturbation at its best COME HERE! the orgasm of the universe looping in repeat the orgasm of the universe looping in repeat the orgasm of the universe looping in repeat the orgasm of the universe looping in repeat the orgasm of the universe looping in repeat the orgasm of the universe looping in repeat the orgasm of the universe looping in repeat the orgasm of the universe looping in repeat the orgasm of the universe looping in repeat the orgasm of the universe looping in repeat the orgasm of the universe looping in repeat this is a lesson in redundancy this is a lesson in redundancy this is a lesson in redundancy step BACK 4x4 casting shadows again (i see you try and merge light........ antiquity) light splits the shadow of my pen into two mirror i-mages on the page stitch stitch stitch the eyes go cataleptic the universe is frozen in seizure the hourglass breaks.
(result is the black dog of desire..... move along --------> )
deraaaaaaaanged again? you attempt to counter my thesis by asking "what is the opposite of a rock?" well the non-existence of the said rock of course! but watch this: the energy that makes up the said rock could exist in another form of course - HA! How'd you like "that" little trick - i found a way to counter the core of my entire argument! No sooner do i declare ah-ha! that the other ax falls - there is intrin-sick value in the concept of "absolute truth", the greatest universal joke Persecution or an atom of the chaotic pattern? Now �that� is the question. Time & Space need to be re-invented... fuck it.
Its not indifference its not defense this seeming lack of tears All Hope is Feline I would say that the grass intrigues me and the cyclic systematic waves squirrels confronting for sidewalk space and black wings beating immediacy for a smooth meal Delicacy in a blade of grass Delicacy in a finger running its course down the neck and spine Awakening coy flesh transmutating flesh into resonance a cupped palm on the mons All subtlety pulses like the beating of a mouse heart...
You cant see the ships sailing (inverted mirrors) You cant see the sails scaling (scaling scaling scaling to conquer the wholeness and invokeing the violence of subtlety) Ghost ships emerge from the chest (im mirroring mirror-ring) in slow motion like weary prisoners slowly filing one by one outside of the prison gates (catatonia to still the birth) leaving the aura of a child in the wakes riding the waves back and forth in a horrifying mantra of (nothing) futility... chest ripped and held open, violently agape (dissolution of the soft womb) I feel like a criminal.....
I need to document that which brought me
Eight more minutes batchild Stay inversed and still Wings tucked at your side Keep talking sleepwalker Bloody somnabulist Forging blindly through the hanging mylar Sleep loather Venus fly-trap eyes Milk the lush green patterns of inversion Beauty becomes flesh
Green sun Scrying the surface of NU Tendrill array Serpent hynosis Bursting with life And comletely void of it Pure Auuuummmm aum It sings to itself�
(juvenile but effective banishing of oneself) if a butterfly flaps its wings in asia.... how ironic forever in eternal metamorphosis awaiting the perfect butterfly flutter by, by, by funny how life plays little tricks on you like that flutterflutter flutter flutter flutter flutter flutter NO NO NO NO i will be still suture my eyes fill my mouth with mirrors and let the butterfly DIE..... i am i am i am i am i am and like all i will die forget me forget what i scribe fly angel fly butterfly fly fly fly DIE! no longer will you cause a ripple effect for me to cauterize wings stoic suspended in time *keeping time time time in a sort of runic rhyme* i take the dust from your wings fall fall fall be something sad in a child eyes another book not written a -typical fall from the sky i hate you butterfly you fooled me in your grandeur you will DIE DIE DIE and no longer flap your silly wings getting me high high high never such hate has laid in me making me want to gut myself my path is a lie lie lie
has it all failed.....? what is the single point�. Vortex� word dissect what is not dancing with scissors on, off, on .....off light and darkess measuring some comical liniage of meaning flash!!!! go forward film rolling scribing telling a story that happens now and then and always 24 frames per second ON ON ON ON!!! fact: an octopus doesn�t know its arms are moving unless it looks at them realization marking time - time non existent w/o the need to measure it zebra a zed and two noughts what a ZOO! the drug to escape mirrors is contained within the idea of scaling alas still a drug - temporary fix but a fix that feeds truth or variations of it thereof time repeats itself so rapidly it becomes still zen is an escape love is the eradication of duality - if even in moments (time is in=es=capable) forget.....
if a butterfly flaps its wings in asia.... how *sardonic* forever in eternal metamorphosis awaiting the perfect butterfly flutter by, by, by funny how life plays little tricks on you like that flutterflutter flutter flutter flutter flutter flutter ON ON ON ON i will be still un-suture my eyes fill my mouth with roses and let the butterfly FLY..... i am i am i am i am i am and like all i am i forget me remember what i scribe fly angel fly! fly butterfly fly fly fly i will push you upwards with one swooping sigh Flaps your wings in mad undulations! drown me in the ripple effect show me i am ALIVE! wings stoic suspended in time that MOMENT lunar fixation the soft gazes in feline eyes awareness transcending and stopping time Fly with vengeance light the skies! be something fleeting and magical in a child's eyes one moment does not scribe a million books not yet written forging pathways across the sky i worship you butterfly eternal metamorphosis flickering by you seduce me in your grandeur a blinding moment in my eyes flap your silly wings get me high high high never such catharsis has taken me making me want to forget myself open sleeping eyes revealing a vision only the old mind could realize........
The angels....... imagined - wings flutter even in stillness beating out endless ripples and iterations scrawl faces in the clouds a million years from now the impulsive bark of laughter from some future child realized before it is conceived i navigate the universe by awareness of thought charting maps on the eyelids marking time with an ignorant and inexperienced tongue like the Empire explaining the prisons away via some sort of universal glyph - or system of symbols and ideas if i don�t blink, does time cease or become space? the sun splits in two - twins conjoined "for the chance of union" The elusive angel captured prematurely Their eyes, as empty and distorted as own Their lips, spinning veils of forgetfulness.....
Avoid anything resembling finality Belongings placed deliberately�.. a carefully positioned stuffed toy a book matching candlesticks on the window sill no drawer left completely empty staking claim and permanence with items meaning nothing at all (your soft face smiling, always, always, always, always always can I imagine your angelic face, gentle gentle, gentlest One, just your face) One image at a time or I am going to break�.. i am not even here. Small in the moonlight � wisps of hair Soft wind �wraps� the skin awake
Writing by my daughter, Age 5 The angels went to earth the wolf angels and devils back to normal like everything They, like people and they like to go back to the moon When fire was starting they went back to heaven - lots..... and angels The cats are cutes The angels and the wolves down to the worlds They were something and upset the beauty is great even if you go to a beauty world I see drops coming down your eyes...... God does share the angels the world that came to heaven and that way you should go to heaven The angels helpered her- - - my mom cooking - this...this thing but angels know the world just give her life and the birthday angels butterflies come and die That's the devil - didnt know what to do that's like the devil of them
This book is complete.
