After hearing Kevin's suggestion for navigating the dungeon...

Justin: If we follow the left wall we don't get lost Kevin...

Max: And if you don't get lost you don't find everything.

After the GM states which room they've entered.

Max: I say, "This wasn't here before!" Just kidding.

Max: Oooo...archways are always a sign of evil.

The PC's search the ground underneath a coffin they have just moved.

Jim: You also notice some pillbugs and a rather large roach.

Max: Pillbugs?

Mark: Whoa! Vermin? Being a ranger, Mark's sworn enemy is vermin.

Andy: Vermin!

Jim: Yeah...vermin. Mark rushes over and starts madly stomping at everything that was living underneath the coffin that was sitting on the ground.

Max: Yeah! Show that evil!

Justin: I say, "Good work soldier."

Mark: Thanks.

Jim: And don't be asking me how much experience that was later.

Max: Why not?

Mark: Yeah, why not?

Max: Aren't those those heart grubs that attacked us in the haunted house?

Jim: Those were different.

A few seconds later...

Jim: Anyway, what are you guys doing?

Justin: Are there any other passages out of this room?

Jim: Yes.

Max: Two more.

Mark: I search, Jim.

Jim: Searching? Roll it up.

Max: No! No! I search first! (Rolls dice) 21! No...22 Jim!

Jim: Along the northwestern wall you find a coinpurse half buried in the ground.

Max: I dig it up.

Jim: There's about three silver pieces in it and a note.

Max: What's the note say?

Jim: It says, "To my lovely Perseus, may you have the best of luck in your adventures. Your love forever, Darla."

Andy: Darla?

Justin: "To my lovely Perseus?"

Jim: Yes.

Andy: Was that-was that Darla?

Jim: Yes.

Andy: Hahaha. "Darla." Hehehe.

Mark: I ask the bugbear what he's laughing about.

Andy: Darla's a funny name. Hehehehehe-wait I have to be zen. Hmmm....

Max: I uh...I dismiss this bag and throw it to RINCEWIND!

Kevin: Three silver?

Max: Yep.

Kevin: Chalking it up baby!

Max: *And* a magic note.

Andy: A magic note? It's love note.

Max: Lo-lo-lo-looooove note.

More Rappan Athuk fun as the group mills about in a room with junk piles, an ant swarm, and a skeleton sitting at a table. This particular little clip demonstrates how disjointed things can often get in the course of roleplaying (and why transcribing these recordings occasionally leads to puzzlement on my part).

Max: Are there ants by it?

Jim: Some.

Max: This looks too shiny to be my twelve sider.

Andy's bugbear character continues to wreak havoc on the dungeon's insect population...

Andy: How many ants have I killed so far? Dozens?

Jim: Fifty seven. Obviously being quite random on that decision.

Andy: Good.

A small moment of silence follows.

Max: I Greek Fire.

Jim: Uhm...I disbelieve. Rolls a die. Dohp, sorry I guess you don't.

A short conversation later...

Max: I start using spring attack on the ants.

Jim: Wha-?! So you...jump...? Max is jumping around madly.

Justin: I just ignore the ants and go toward the door.

Max starts singing to the tune of that one hit wonder, "Breakfast at Tiffany's."

Max: And I said what about/getting into a fight for once?

Apparently level one of Rappan Athuk isn't as fast paced as some people in the group would like.

Andy is told what was included in the objects he was throwing out into the dungeon hall; he's surprised to learn that a small horse statue was one of these items.

Andy: I woudn't have thrown that; I was throwing junk and debris.

Max: It was in the debris.

Andy: Ahhh...brie.

The group starts hearing the sounds of many rushing footsteps, indicating multiple someones are rushing down the stairs which lead into the room they're still in the midst of passing through. Justin's character remains trapped at the bottom of a pit that separates passage from this room to a hallway on the other side.

Kevin: Speaking in wacky deep voice for some reason... We'll get those ghouls!

Coincidentally, just as these numerous clomping sounds are being heard, Mark arrives at the apartment. He quickly learns what's happened in his absence; his character, having nobody to run it, has been on autopilot. This usually means that he's been silent, doing nothing notable and tagging along with the rest of the PC's.

Max: Ahh it must be Mark coming to join us.

Mark: Oh it is.

Max: Mark grew extra legs.

Andy: Mark, we've been waiting for you. Laughs demonically.

Max: I wonder why Mark didn't see those guys that are coming down the stairs.

Jim: He seems to be transfixed with his sunsword.

Kevin: He went to go find his horse. Something of a running joke. It's what I, the GM, had Mark's character do last time he wasn't around to play his character.

Mark: No I've been reading that book, remember?

Jim: They burned the books!

Mark: What? Who did?

Kevin: Me.

Jim: And Andy.

Max: What? I told him to put them in his backpack.

Andy: Yeah but I sniffed at them and said, "These are full of lice. They will infect the other books at the monastery. Let us burn them." Then I threw them down and-

Max: But we're not keeping them at the monastery, we're just copying the information from them.

Andy: Nah it's too dangerous.

Jim: Too late now.

Andy: It smells horrible anyway.

Jim: What are you doing Justin?

Justin: Climbing.

From his position on top of Rappan Athuk's main mausoleum, Zarth Raider spies a distant funeral ensemble. He quickly decides to shout...

Justin: Prepare to be boarded!

They drop the coffin they were carrying and run off.

A short time later, Zarth and Hesch are contemplating cracking open the nailed shut coffin...

Max: Wait, is it bad to-

Justin: Well, it's bad karma. Pause. You do it then.

Justin: I may take his life but I can't take away his cuteness. In regards to a just slain walking, talking, clothed rat who had attacked him.

Gorgo the ghast: I'm glad I never told you my real name.

Max: You're not fully clean until you're gelatinous cube clean.

Justin has just evaluated the worth of the crown of Saracek, the hastily defeated undead nobleman and ex-warrior for the dark forces. The ornate crown's estimation at being worth approximately 250 gold pieces doesn't impress Max. Especially when coupled with the overall scant nature of his tomb.

Max: What kind of king was this guy? King of the poor?! King of the losers?!

After exposing the elaborate illusionary trap...

Scramge: No! No one has ever defeated me before!

Justin: Duh you idiot, or else you'd be dead.

Scramge the rakshasha smiles and glares with luminescent evil eyes at the duo. "We shall meet again someday," he declares menacingly as he swiftly turns and raises his hand to pull a brick in the wall.

Justin and Max: ATTACK OF OPPORTUNITY!

Rincewind's player, being one of the group's main loot carriers, says...

Kevin: I don't even know how to list this.

In reference to Quathog, the tentacled, pulsating brain thing that the group had received from a vending machine and had just been conducting bizarre transplants with.

The group has discovered a clear panel in the wall of the level's copy room. They swing it open and see a small delivery capsule that can be shot up and down by the control of air currents, this is apparently some remarkable message tube.

Taking the remains of brain from their impromptu surgery on orcs in the previous room, they cram the goo into the capsule and ponder whether to send a note along with the package to the lower levels. Max remarks...

Max: Now I have an orc's brain. Ho. Ho. Ho.

After pissing off the Oracle (a floating skull that shoots blue energy rays) in Rappan Athuk, the group soon comes up with the plan of tossing a bucket onto it and cramming their possessing, crawling brain thing into its jaw. A few seconds of cursing, rattling, and shouting emerge from the bucket before it becomes still and the skull flies out with the brain's tentacles dangling from its eye sockets and from the bottom of its jaw.

Quathog: I Quathog the conquerer am REBORN! Free to unleash death on the land once more! Tremble at my terrible visage! Kneel before me and pledge your allegiance to Quathog the Slogthrmn!

Aaron: I quickly fall to the ground and do so.

Quathog swivels and looks at Hesch Kimo.

Max: Don't push your luck.