| May 5, 2002 7:30 PM I am really sleepy right now but Sarah thinks it's kind of silly to go to bed at 7:30 when the sun is still out. So I decided to update instead since there was a request (a command, rather) to update this page. I haven't really thought about what to update lately so I guess I'll just update about what God has been showing me. Praise Dinner totally showed me how impatient I can get. I realized that I am not a fun person to hang around when I am stressed. I apologize to anyone that had to experience this unfunness during the past couple of weeks. It was so much fun to plan Praise Dinner though. I was scared out of my wits at the thought of singing the "Moulin Rouge" song with Andrew in front of 60 people, but once it was over, I decided it wasn't TOO bad. I don't think I'll do something like that again in the near future, but at least I was able to make it through without totally sucking. =) But yeah, PD was fun to plan, but really really tiring. There just always seemed to be more details to work out and things started piling up and it got rather stressful. Thankfully, I have a REALLY nice roommate who was not only willing to put up with my craziness, but also encouraged me and reminded me that all this was ultimately to praise God for our seniors. So yeah, thanks Sarah. Sorry I was such a grouch this week. This week really showed me the importance of being quiet before the Lord. Because sometimes I would catch myself thinking of my to-do list while I was doing my quiet time and it just made me more stressed. But the times that I had where I could just read my Bible, journal, and pray without thinking about how many tables we would need or how to prop up the backdrops were the times where I felt most at peace. And it was during those times that I was really able to let go of my stress and worries and really commit the event to God. Another thing God has been showing me is what it really means to trust Him for EVERYTHING. I got some not so great news from home this week (right smack dab in the middle of planning for PD) and it was really frustrating because I felt like God wasn't answering my prayers. I had been praying for things to go in this one certain way and it looked like it was, and then everything changed and so I felt like God was like, taking it back or something. And I got really frustrated and worried. (Sorry I'm being so vague.) But I had a long talk with my mom the other day and after talking with her, I realized that it wasn't that God wasn't answering my prayer or that He was "taking back" His answer. He was just answering it in a different way than i pictured it and at a different time than I wanted Him to. And I was again reminded of what I learned at WCC: "God is not in a rush." And He definitely knows better than I do. My mom was totally trusting God with this situation, knowing that worrying about it was like thinking that God couldn't handle the situation. And God can handle any and every situation, including the one my family is in right now. So, yeah, I realized how untrusting I am of the One who has already proven Himself to be the most faithful Being time and again. Sunday School was really good today too because I was reminded that sometimes it's the PROCESS that's important and not the final product. I'm still a work in progress. I will trust my Maker to make me what He wants me to be, and be thankful for the process of being molded by Him, no matter what that entails. Random aside: We had our roommate date today (me, Christine, and Sarah) and we went to TGI Fridays to get STEAK!!! YUM!!!! Dude, steak is sooooooo yummy. I haven't ordered a steak from a restaurant since like high school. DELICIOUS! I love the SFC senior class. They're amazing and encouraging and just sooooo funny. I am very glad that most of them are still gonna be here and the 2 people who are moving back down south are gonna be within 5 minutes of my house!!! So when I go home, we can PLAAAAY!!! hee hee... Oh, and Dennis is beating me in the star chart race at Hannah and Jessie's. He's lame. It doesn't matter anyways. It's just a chart. =) (don't laugh, hansie) Wow, lots of random things today. One more: when I was reading the Praise Dinner programs and I ready the "what is your favorite place in berkeley?" I thought about what I would put down and I thought, either my bed or Hannah and Jessie's apartment, because they let me sleep in their beds...hahaha...they're great. I love them! (hannah and jessie, not their beds...well, I love their beds too...hee hee) |