JOKE 69

Transportation In Heaven

Three men die and go to heaven. At the gate St. Peter tells them,

"Before you go into heaven, we are going to give you each a

vehicle with which to get around. The way we determine what type

of vehicle you will get is by how faithful you were to your

wives. Now," he says, turning to the first man, "were you true to

your wife?"

"Yes, I was, St. Peter," says the first man. "I never strayed.

From the day I married her to the day I died, I slept with no

woman other than my wife. I loved her very deeply."

"As reward for your complete fidelity," says St. Peter, "I now

give you these keys to a beautiful Roll-Royce."

The man happily accepts the keys, and St. Peter turns to the

second man. "Sir," he says, "were you faithful to you wife?"

Well, St. Peter," says the second man a little shyly, "I must

admit that when I was much younger, I did stray once or twice.

But I did love my wife very much, and after those minor

indiscretions, I was completely faithful until my dying day."

St. Peter looks down at the man and says, "As a reward for good

marital conduct, I am giving you these keys to a Pontiac."

As the man takes the keys from his St. Peter turns to the third

man. "Sir," he says, "were you faithful to you wife?"

"St. Peter," says the man, "I screwed everything I could, every

chance I got. There wasn't a week of my marriage that I didn't

sleep with someone other than, wife. But I must admit to you, St.

Peter, that it was a problem I had, because I really did love my

wife very much."

"Well," says St. Peter, "we do know that you did love your wife

and that does count for something, so this is what you get."

With that he rolls out a ten-speed bicycle and gives it to the

man. The gates of heaven open, and the three men enter

Sometime later the man on the bicycle is riding along, when he

sees that the man with the Rolls Royce has pulled over and is

sitting on the bumper of his car. He is sobbing uncontrollably.

The man pulls his bicycle up next to the man and says, "Hey, pal,

what's the matter? What could possibility be wrong? You have a

beautiful Rolls Royce to drive arround in?"

"I know," say the man through his sobs, "but I just saw my wife

on roller skates!"

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