Top ten things not to do when you get pulled over by a police officer.
10) When asked for ID pull out a fake ID and your driver's license and say, "Which one do you want?"
9) Talk to your finger like in "The Shining" (i.e. " (your name), I'm scared!"
8) (if you are under-age ) Explain the reason you were speeding was because you didn't want the beer in your trunk to get too warm.
7) Hold up the officer with a hairdryer then try to make your get-away.
6) "Excuse me man, but could you move for a minute, I have to puke."
5) Pretend to be a mime stuck in the car which is closing in on you.
4) Look guilty and say "You aren't going to search my car are you?"
3) Plug your ears with your fingers and start singing "The Barney Song"
2) Wink and say, "Are you going to handcuff me now big boy? I've been a bad little girl/boy."
1) "Excuse me officer but would you hold my beer so I can reach my license?"
Ten not-so-good excuses for standing someone up.
10) "I'm sorry, my car broke down in the desert and I had to walk to the nearest oasis for help." (or get your oil changed or something)
9) "I have to pick out a new plant for my house." (i.e. fern, x-mas tree...)
8) "I was attacked by wild pigmy kangaroos."
7) "I forgot I already had plans to get a root canal."
6) "I died but now I'm miraculously alive again."
5) "The little voices in my head told me to stay away from you tonight."
4) "My dog was holding me hostage for dog treats."
3) "I was abducted by aliens."
2) "Hell froze over into my den."
1) "Huh?" *blank stare*
Top Ten Things To Do in Our Small Town in Iowa
10) Steal the dinosaur from the Sinclair station.
9) TP houses, or the Bergman Christmas Tree Farm.
8) Arrange those white reigndeer in various... *clears throat* positions.
7) Spread stupid rumors about people. Speaking of which did you all hear I have my nipples pierced now?
6) Play a game of football in the middle of the street on Ave. F.
5) Sillystring/egg people cars (or the person themselves).
4) Go through the car wash at least 2 times daily.
3) Work.
2) Go to one of our great attractions...like the theatre or the Booby Trap...
1) Sit on your bum and make a pointless webpage.
Top Ten Things to do in School when you're bored.
10) Count the number of times your teacher mispronounces a certain word in every class.
9) Throw notes back and forth, just make sure you don't hit another student with them.
8) Stare at the cute student (or teacher) in the class. Just don't get caught.
7) Bring up subjects for discussion that have nothing to do with the class, say if you are in World History you could bring up Monica Lewinski, Viagra, soap on a rope, or any other topic...
6) Shoot the tops of the orange juice bottles back and forth during lunch, just be sure not to hit a police officer.
5) Pretend to be Xena, warrior princess with the math teachers giant protractor.
4) Include teachers on interesting but less than appropriate conversations. (It wasn't me Ms. Larson!)
3) Come up with a different name everday for the teacher to call you. (i.e. one day you can be El Nino, then the next day Brown Sugar, then whatever else)
2) Make faces at someone in the class, just don't be suprised when you get dumb looks from other people who catch them.
1) Fight...this seems pretty popular at our school anyway.
Top Ten silly little rules to learn in life.
10) Always be nice to lifeguards. (another common courtisy: if you are over 50 or over 180 pounds do not wear a Speedo!)
9) 3 words..."Word is bond."
8) Love like you've never been hurt, give like you have too much, and dance like no one is watching.
7) Sing in the shower.
6) Never collect all the monkeys out of the animal crackers, your friends might get angry.
5) Don't sit in the sauna too long, things bad for your health may occur.
4) Never spray angry people with sillystring unless you are a stunt driver.
3) If you shake the box of cerial upside-down the prize is supposed to come to the top.
2) Never try to be funny, it should just come natural, if not...I don't know what to tell you.
1) Don't laugh really loud while walking into a grocery store, people might think you got stuck in the door or something.
Top Ten things NOT to yell while jumping off the diving board at the public pool.
10) "I stuffed my speedo!"
9) "