Title: Petals and Ashes

 

Author: Bridget Walker - [email protected]

 

Classification - Harm/Mac R, little bit of angst.

 

Spoilers - Seasons three and four. No episodes in particular.

 

Summary - When Mac loses someone very close to her, she finds something else.

 

Disclaimer - yes I own them, I own them all. In fact I won them from Donald P Bellisario and Belisarius Productions in a poker game.

 

I am also a shipper who has gone over the edge and should be sent to the JAG Asylum.

 

I would like to thank Pat for getting me through a very tough time in my life, and for encouraging me to persevere with this.

 

Thankyou to Liza for her opinions and feedback.

 

Now on with my first ever JAG fanfic.

 

 

 

JAG HEADQUARTERS

 

FALLS CHURCH

 

VIRGINIA

 

Major Sarah Mackenzie sat in her office working on some briefs for a case she was prosecuting when suddenly she was interrupted by the shrill ringing of her telephone.

 

"Major Mackenzie" she stated into the telephone.

 

Mac listened to the person on the other end of the phone with disbelief, tears starting to well in her eyes.

 

"Yes I understand, I will take the first flight out, I should be there in a couple of hours, thankyou very much."

 

Mac replaced the phone in its cradle, and buried her face in her hands.

 

Then she moved into action. Gathering her briefcase, jacket and cover, Mac made her way to the Admiral's office.

 

Petty Officer Tiner looked at her expectantly.

 

"Can I help you Ma'am" he enquired.

 

"Yes you can" Mac replied, "I need to speak to the Admiral, right now, it is an emergency."

 

Tiner translated the message into the intercom, and the Admiral agreed to speak with her. She stayed in the office for a short while before hurrying out.

 

Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb Jr strode across the bullpen in the hope of asking his partner out for lunch. He became slightly alarmed when he found that she was not in her office. Sensing a flurry of activity behind him he turned to see Mac racing towards the elevator.

 

Sensing trouble, he dashed over to her, grabbing her by the shoulders.

 

"Mac, what's wrong?" he asked as he spun her around. His face fell when he saw her face streaked with tears. He immediately lifted her chin so that she was forced to look him in the eyes.

 

Harm repeated his question, this time more urgently.

 

"Mac, you're scaring me, please tell me what's wrong?"

 

After what seemed like an eternity, Mac answered him, never taking her deep brown eyes off his sparkling blue-green ones.

 

"I just received a phone call from an Oncology hospital in Seattle" she began. "Uncle Matt has been brought in, and they felt that as next of kin I should be there. He's dying Harm, they don't think that he will last the night."

 

Harm was confused, "But your uncle is in Leavenworth?"

 

Mac knew this question was coming, "No Harm, he was released when they found the cancer." Mac began to cry once again.

 

Harm immediately took her in his arms, not caring about their surroundings. "You go, the Colonel needs you, just remember you are not going to do this alone, now scoot." Harm released her and she hurried into the elevator. Harm immediately turned on his heel and made his way to the Admiral's office; and was told by Tiner that the Admiral was expecting him.

 

Harm opened the door and stood at attention in front of the Admiral.

 

"How can I help you Mr Rabb?"

 

"Well Sir, I request permission to follow Major Mackenzie to Seattle."

 

"Request denied Commander, I need you here."

 

Harm continued, "With all due respect, considering how important this is, I am going to Seattle regardless."

 

The Admiral looked surprised at Harm's statement, "Son, are you willing to throw it all away?"

 

"Permission to speak freely sir?" Harm requests.

 

"Granted" replies the Admiral.

 

"Sir, over the last three years, Major Mackenzie and I have gotten very close, a necessity when we are partners. During this time, the Major has shared moments of her past with me that she has not shared with anyone else"

 

"Get to the point please Mr Rabb"

 

"Well Sir, Mac has had a hard time, and I feel that Colonel O'Hara's impending death could be the one thing that sends her over the edge.

 

I for one, will not stay here and allow that to happen to her, not after everything that she has done for me."

 

AJ made his way over to Harm and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "Harm, I understand what you're saying. I know that if I don't give you permission you are going to walk out of here and fly a damn plane to Seattle yourself if you have to. Therefore I am granting your request to follow the Major."

 

"Thank you Sir"

 

"If you feel this strongly about this, then I am of the belief that your feelings for the Major must be as strong. I strongly advise you to use this time to examine your feelings and I am ordering you to go and take care of the Major."

 

 

 

Harm once again stood at attention and saluted, "Aye aye Sir"

 

Harm turned on his heel and makes his way towards the door; he stopped at the Admiral's voice.

 

"Oh and Mr Rabb, give her as much help as you can"

 

"That I will sir, that I will"

 

With that Harm left the office, grabbed his jacket and cover and ran for the elevator.

 

ON ROUTE TO SEATTLE

 

Mac sat in her seat in the airplane, turning her cover over in her hands, trying to comprehend everything that was happening. Knowing what losing Uncle Matt will do to her, Mac began to cry.

 

"Suck it up Marine" she admonished herself. "You have to get to Seattle to help Uncle Matt."

 

ON ANOTHER AIRPLANE

 

Harm pulled out his wallet and looks at a photo of him and Mac taken in front of 'Sarah'. "I'm coming Sarah, I am coming." He sighed.

 

SEATTLE ONCOLOGY HOSPITAL

 

1322 hours

 

Upon arriving at the hospital, Mac frantically pushed her way through the doors, and made her way to the Nurses Station. Once given directions to Colonel O'Hara's room, she dashed through the doorway.

 

Mac was shocked by what she saw: her Uncle Matt, and he looked half the man that he once was, pale, and more vulnerable than she had ever seen him. Devastated, she ran from the room blindly, with tears streaming down her face.

 

A pair of strong arms stopped Mac in her tracks. She looked up, only to see Harm's blue-green eyes. "How? Why?" she began.

 

"Never mind that now" Harm replied.

 

"Thank God you're here" Mac sighed before burying her face in his chest and crying.

 

Touched that Mac would allow herself to be so vulnerable around him, Harm led her over to the waiting area, and once seated attempted to comfort her by rubbing her back and offering soothing words.

 

After a while, Mac pulled back and once again admonished herself for crying in uniform, reminding herself that she was a Marine.

 

Harm refused to hear that talk and lifted her chin so that once again she had no choice but to look him straight in the eyes.

 

"Now listen here Sarah." Mac's eyebrows shot up at the use of her given name, but stayed quiet as Harm continued. "Yes you are a Marine, and I am sure that given the opportunity you could whip six of anyone of the staff here. But first you have to remember that you are a niece, and right now you need to let yourself cry, and then you need to show the Colonel that you are here for him and that you love him."

 

Mac nodded her head. "Harm you're right. But if anyone asks me I will deny it. I am his niece and right now my job is to go into that room and tell him that I am here, and to ask him what he wants me to do.

 

But before I do, I just have one question, what are you doing here?"

 

"Gee thanks Mac, a guy flies across the country and what does the girl do, asks him why he came."

 

"That is not what I meant and you know it, it's just with me gone, no doubt your caseload will double. How could you find the time to come our here?"

 

"That's easy Mac, I went to the Admiral and asked him if I could follow you out here, because I felt that you needed me."

 

"And what did the Admiral say?"

 

"Well at first he refused, but then I explained myself a bit further, and the Admiral came to the realisation that I would have come, with or without his permission."

 

Mac stares at Harm, wide eyed. "You mean that you would have thrown it all away to follow me?"

 

Harm used his thumb to brush a tear of her cheek. "Like you wouldn't do the same for me Ninja Girl"

 

"Good point Flyboy, but I'm sure that the Admiral needs you. I will be just fine, so thanks but no thanks."

 

Harm kneels in front of Mac, "You know that you can send me away, but I will come back, you can send me away again, and I will come back. I know who will tire of it first, and it's not going to be me."

 

Mac stood up, and pulled Harm with her, "Fine you can stay for now, but can we please go back inside now?"

 

COLONEL MATTHEW O'HARA'S ROOM

 

SEATTLE ONCOLOGY HOSPITAL

 

Mac sat beside her Uncle's bed; talking to him, in the hope of trying to soothe him. Harm sat in a chair beside the wall, and just watched her. After a while the doctor came in and shook hands with both of them.

 

"Major Mackenzie, Mr Mackenzie I am Doctor Corelli, I spoke to you on the phone." Harm and Mac just looked at each other, Harm with a bemused smile, but both remained silent. "Major, as I said on the telephone your Uncle is in grave condition, but things have slightly improved since I last spoke to you." Harm put his hand on the small of Mac's back as she gasped. The doctor put her hand on Mac's shoulder, "I am sorry Major, don't misunderstand me, your Uncle's condition is still terminal, but I don't think that he will pass away tonight.

 

"When doctor?" Mac interrupted.

 

"It should be sometime within the next three days, what I want to do is run a few more tests so that we can make your Uncle as comfortable as possible. What I suggest is that you both go to where you are staying, and get settled, as this is going to take a bit of time."

 

Mac started to protest, but Harm intervened, "Doctor if you are given the number of where the Major is staying you will notify us immediately of any changes?"

 

"Yes Mr Mackenzie, I will."

 

"Actually Doctor, I am not her husband, just her partner, but thank you that would be greatly appreciated."

 

"Now I will leave you two alone, I shall be back shortly."

 

Once the Doctor had left, Mac turned to Harm, her eyes blazing. "Harm I do not want to go home, I want to stay here! I would appreciate it if you would not make decisions for me."

 

Harm puts a hand on each of Mac's shoulders. "Listen here Sarah, the next few days are going to be very tough. You will not be of any help to the Colonel if you make yourself sick. What is going to happen, no arguments, is that I am going to take you to where you're staying, and I am going to get you settled in, then I am going to find somewhere to stay and get myself settled in."

 

"Harm" Mac began; Harm put a finger to her lips, "No arguments!"

 

"What I was going to say," Mac began again, "is that I will be staying at Uncle Matt's cottage, and you are more than welcome to stay there too."

 

Harm bowed, "Well thank you Ma'am for your hospitality, now let's get out of here before the doctor chases us away."

 

"Fine" Mac leans over and kisses Matt on the forehead. "We will be back soon Uncle Matt I promise."

 

COTTAGE OF MATTHEW O'HARA

 

OUTSKIRTS OF SEATTLE

 

1945 hours

 

Mac opened the door of the cottage, and both her and Harm stepped in.

 

Mac pointed out a room that Harm could have and then explained that she will be in the room opposite.

 

"Then if you don't mind I'm going to shower and change" he told her and she gave him a short wave before going into her room.

 

Harm came out of the shower towelling his hair. He looked in on Mac only to find her fast asleep on top of the covers. He gently lifted her off the covers and tucked her in. "Goodnight Ninja Girl, get some rest." He felt the urge to kiss her, but deciding that he valued his manhood, kissed her softly on the forehead, and made his way to his own room. On his way out he softly said, "I love you Sarah"

 

Harm was already in his room, so he missed Mac softly stir in her sleep, and respond, "I love you too Harm, thanks."

 

 

 

Harm had just gotten off to sleep when he heard screams coming from the other room. Realising exactly what those screams meant, he jumped out from beneath the covers and strode into the other room.

 

Gently he began to wake Mac. "Mac...Sarah...shhhhh come on wake up, it is only a dream, a bad dream, come on wake up."

 

Hearing Harm's soothing tones, Mac woke up from her nightmare. "Harm is that you, it was awful, I lost Uncle Matt, I lost you, I lost everyone." Once again Mac started to cry into Harm's chest, ignoring the fact that all he was wearing were his boxers, the same boxers that he wore the night that they thought Clayton had died.

 

At the same time Harm's heart was breaking for Mac, no one deserved to endure as much pain, as she has had to. He wished that he could reach in to mend her heart, instead all he could do was just sit here, and let her lean on him and cry.

 

 

 

A short while later, he felt that Mac had significantly calmed down, and he thought that she had gone back to sleep. Being careful not to disturb her, Harm removed himself from behind her. He was just about off the bed when a hand on his arm halted his progress.

 

He looked down and saw Mac's brown eyes staring back at him. "Harm, please don't go, not now, please will you hold me, please will you stay with me and hold me?"

 

Harm in his astonishment knew that Mac must really need him, if she was asking him to stay, but this did not stop him from answering clumsily, "Where?"

 

"Here" was her only response.

 

That was all he needed to hear.

 

He pulled back the covers and slid in beside her, gathering her up in his arms. Harm encouraged her to put her head on his chest and only when he was satisfied that she was asleep, by the evenness of her breathing, did he allow himself to fall asleep.

 

 

 

COTTAGE OF MATTHEW O'HARA

 

SEATTLE

 

0700 hours

 

Harm was awoken by the ringing of the telephone on the bedside table. He quickly grabbed it before it could awaken Mac.

 

"Hello" he answered sleepily into the phone.

 

"Um hi Commander it's Um Bud here, Harriet um wanted me to ring to see how everything was going with the Major, you see, um the Admiral was telling us...."

 

Before Harm could answer another voice could be heard on the phone.

 

"Commander, sorry to wake you, I assume you are still in bed."

 

"Well actually Harriet, yes."

 

"Once again I am sorry, it is just that I was wondering how the Major is. Would it be too much of an inconvenience for you to hop out of bed so that I could talk to her, woman to woman."

 

"Well um Harriet, that should not be a problem, will you hang on for a minute?"

 

Harm leaned over to wake Mac, forgetting to put his hand over the receiver.

 

"Mac, Mac, sorry to do this, I know you need your rest. Harriet's on the phone, she would like to speak to you."

 

Hearing this, Bud and Harriet's eyes became as big as saucers, wondering if they were really hearing what they thought they were hearing, that Commander Rabb, was in bed with the Major.

 

Before Harriet and Bud were able to recover, Mac took the phone and started to answer their questions. One of the questions obviously reminded Mac of the gravity of the situation, because once again she began to break down. Seeing this Harm gently pried the phone out of Mac's hand and rejoined the conversation.

 

"Listen, Bud, Harriet, the Major is not herself right now, do you mind if I have her call you back later."

 

"No Commander of course not, please give her our love."

 

"Will do, bye bye."

 

With that Harm hung up the phone, and once again turned his attention to Mac. He took her in his arms and just held her.

 

After a short while Mac adjusted her position so that she could see into Harm's eyes.

 

"Harm, I am sorry about that little display before."

 

"Nonsense Mac, you need to let it out, otherwise it will just eat you up inside."

 

"I know, you do know that I am really glad you came right? "

 

Harm just nodded, feeling that she had more to say.

 

Mac continued, "Harm I know that you have told me, but why are you really here? After all, you have a life in DC, I am sure that you had plans with Jordan, so why did you really come?"

 

Harm hesitated a bit before he began to answer her.

 

"For a starters, Miss Mackenzie, you should know that there is absolutely no other place that I would rather be. After all that you have done for me, you followed me to Russia and helped me find the answers concerning my father, then you helped me when I broke out of the brig and now the least I could do, is follow you here and hope that you would lean on me. And as for Jordan, well that matter answered itself a while ago."

 

A surge of hope raised itself in Mac's heart, she managed to beat it down long enough to ask Harm the question that was on her mind.

 

"Really, why, and why didn't you tell me?"

 

Harm exhaled sharply before he answered her, after all, he knew that Mac would find out about Jordan eventually, he just wished it was under better circumstances. "Jordan and I broke up, because, well it turns out we didn't have a lot in common. I joined the Navy, because it was my passion, while she enlisted as a way to pay off her bills. Also she loved me, but as it turned out, what I felt for her was just an attraction."

 

"So what finally broke the camel's back?" Mac enquired.

 

"Well you know that time in May when I was contemplating going back to flying?" Mac nodded. "Well when I told Jordan, she was less than impressed with the idea and she actually asked me to choose between flying and her. Although I ultimately chose to remain at JAG, I knew that it was time to break away from her, because I did not love her and I deserved better than someone who would give me ultimatums."

 

"Wow!" Mac responded. "Looks like that we both have been keeping information from each other. I kept from you that Uncle Matt had been released, and you didn't tell me that you and Jordan had broken up.

 

Do you ever think that a time will come when we will be totally straight with each other?"

 

Harm answered, "I think so, after all we're making a pretty good attempt at it now."

 

"I agree" answered Mac. "So you weren't in love with Jordan, do you ever think you will find love?"

 

"Well Mac, I wasn't going to bring this up but one of the reasons I decided to come was because I..."

 

Harm was interrupted by the ringing of the phone, knowing that it mightbe important, Mac reached over and answered it. At the same time, Harm was thankful for small mercies, after all, who knows where this conversation could have headed, he thought. Harm turned his attention to Mac.

 

"Sarah Mackenzie speaking, Oh No! Really! We will be there in ten minutes, thank you goodbye."

 

Harm was immediately worried for Mac, as the tears started to flow once again down her face.

 

"Mac what's wrong?" he immediately stood them up, so that he could put his arm around her. "Was that the hospital?" Mac only nodded. "What did they say?"

 

"Uncle Matt has woken up, " Mac began to reply, her voice heavy with emotion. "But the doctors say that the cancer has almost gotten him, they don't expect him to last out this afternoon."

 

"Oh Sweetie!!" Harm responded, unaware of the term of endearment that he used. "OK, time to focus, let's get up, and get going. We can get something to eat on the way but the important thing is to get to the hospital."

 

Mac was silently thankful that Harm had taken charge because at the moment she could not focus, and as a response all she did was cover Harm's hand with her own, and say, "Thank you"

 

Harm just responded by squeezing her hand and saying, "Anytime, Mac, Anytime."

 

SEATTLE ONCOLOGY HOSPITAL

 

SEATTLE

 

0900 hours

 

Harm and Mac rushed through the hospital doors and without even pausing at the Nurses Station, made their way into Uncle Matt's room.

 

They look over at his bed and they see Doctor Corelli leaning over Matt who was conscious. The Doctor pulled them aside when she sawthem enter.

 

"Miss Mackenzie, Mr Rabb, I am glad that you arrived so quickly,"

 

she began. "I have just administered Colonel O'Hara some painkiller, now he is conscious, but he is very weak, there isn't much time left. Now what I am going to do is leave you three alone, but don't hesitate to buzz if you need anything."

 

With that Doctor Corelli left the room, leaving Harm and Mac with Colonel O'Hara.

 

Mac rushed over to her Uncle's bedside and taking his hand in hers,she began to speak to him.

 

"Hi Uncle Matt, it's me Sarah, it is so good to see you awake, Harm is with me. You remember Harm don't you? He's the one who defended you. We came as soon as we heard. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

 

Mac was shocked when Matt began to answer her.

 

"Hi my baby girl, hello Commander." Harm nodded in the Colonel's direction. "I am so glad that you came, but you know you didn't have to rush out like this, I really didn't want you to see me like this."

 

Mac began to respond. "Uncle Matt, that is not fair, you have seen me at my worst, did you really think that I would not return the favour. When I got that phone call, I didn't know what to think, my only thought was getting to you." Once again Mac began to tear up.

 

Harm came strode closer to her and placed his hand on her shoulder.

 

Mac covered his hand with hers and looked up at him. "Harm I appreciate you being here, but do you mind if I could have a couple of minutes with my Uncle?"

 

"Don't be silly, of course not, I have some calls to make anyway, I will be back soon OK?" Mac just nodded and Harm continued, "Colonel, see you soon." Harm kissed Mac on the top of the head, and made his way outside. He found a payphone where he dialled JAG Headquarters. He had Tiner put him through to the Admiral.

 

"Admiral Chegwidden speaking."

 

"Good Morning Admiral, this Commander Rabb."

 

"Ah! Commander, there is some interesting scuttlebutt concerning you at the moment.."

 

"That is all well and good Admiral but if I may, I have some news."

 

"I take it that this is concerning the Major and her Uncle?"

 

"That is correct Sir, we have just been summoned to the hospital, the Colonel is conscious but the Doctor is of the opinion that Colonel O'Hara only has a few hours."

 

"Hmmm, I see Commander, and how is the Major?"

 

"Well Sir she is putting on a brave front, but I know that she is tearing up inside."

 

"Take care of her Harm, and make sure that she knows that everyone is thinking of her, and Commander, how are you, have you thought about what I suggested before you left?"

 

"I have done nothing else Sir, but at the moment I feel that the Major's well-being should be my priority."

 

"That it should Commander, but don't forget, what we spoke about could be just what the Major needs, now you have been away long enough, I suggest that you get back to the Major and her Uncle, and Harm"

 

"Yes Sir"

 

"Take care of her."

 

"Aye aye Sir. Goodbye"

 

"Goodbye Commander, don't hesitate to call if you need anything from this end."

 

With that A.J. and Harm both hung up their phones. Harm made his way back to Colonel O'Hara's room where he paused outside, he could hear Mac and her Uncle in an intense conversation.

 

"Sarah, the Doctor Corelli has told me that there is not much time left, " Matt spoke. "Now when I go.."

 

"Uncle Matt, " Mac interrupted, "Please don't speak like this, you are a Marine, that means that you should be fighting, we can a second opinion, we can try different drugs" Mac once again began to break down.

 

"Hush girl" Matt covered Mac's hand with his own. "I have been through this with the Doctor, there is nothing that they can do, and I don't want to spend the little time that I have left drugged out of my mind.. As I was saying when I go, I don't want you to spend all of your time grieving, I want you to say goodbye, and then get on with your life. You are a Marine Officer with a promising career. Please Sarah, promise me."

 

Mac wiped the tears from her eyes, "I promise"

 

Matt decided to change the topic, "I am glad that you decided to come and I am glad that you decided to bring Harm with you."

 

"Well actually Uncle Matt, I didn't decide to bring Harm with me, he followed me, he felt that I needed him."

 

"And do you?"

 

"I am Marine Uncle Matt, I can take care of myself, but in this case, I am glad he came with me, he has been an absolute rock."

 

"I'm glad that he decided to follow you. He is a good man, and I can see that he cares very deeply about you. How do you feel about him?"

 

Mac could feel the blush rise up her neck but she looked her Uncle square in the eye. "I care very deeply for him as well Uncle Matt, my feelings are growing every minute."

 

Harm with his heart soaring decided that this would be the time to re-enter, knocking gently on the door he asked "Is it safe to come back in?"

 

Mac quickly wiped her face while she answered. "I think now is the perfect time, I believe my Uncle is done grilling me." She said with a slight smile.

 

Matt placed his hand over Mac's. "Sarah," he started to speak, "do you mind if I have a few minutes with the Commander here?"

 

Mac looks from Matt to Harm, who nods reassuringly. Mac leaves the room, and stands just outside.

 

Matt lifts his head up slightly so that he is looking straight into Harm's eyes. "Commander if you don't mind would you please come and sit down."

 

"Yes sir," Harm replied, "and other the circumstances I think Harm is more appropriate."

 

"Then Harm it is" Matt replied, "But I will only call you Harm if you agree to call me Matt"

 

"Aye aye sir" Harm replied with his flyboy grin. "Why did you ask to talk to me Matt?"

 

Matt began "Well Harm it is becoming very obvious to me that I don't have a lot of time left."

 

Harm began to interrupt, but Matt put his hand up and continued. "You see Harm, I am not worried about myself, I know by now that when your number is up it is up, who I am worried about is Sarah. For the longest time I was all that she had. After the accident, she didn't have anyone else that she could turn to. I took her to Arizona, helped her dry out, and she has told me that I inspired her to join the Corps. I know that she will not like me discussing this, because she would argue that she is a big strong Marine, I am still very worried that she will take this very badly, and maybe even fall off the wagon, and I can't go until I know that she will be alright."

 

Harm saw his opportunity to speak, "What do you want me to do Sir?"

 

"It is really quite simple Son, I want you to take care of my little girl. I know that she depends on you more than anyone else in the world, and I know that when I go she will build a barrier, and that you will be the only one who will be able to break through. Do you think that you could do that for me Harm?"

 

Harm looked Matt straight in the eye, "Sir, I promise that I will look after her, and make it my life's mission to take the very best care of her."

 

A small smile crept onto Matt's face, "You care very deeply for my Sarah, don't you Harm?"

 

Harm was taken aback by the question, but felt that he owed this man enough to answer him truthfully and honestly. "I do care deeply for Sarah Matt, but it is so much more than that, I respect her as an Officer, a lawyer, and I take great pride in everything that she has accomplished. But not only that, I love her in more ways than I can express, and I could not imagine my life without her."

 

Matt's grin grew wider "Good, this is exactly what I wanted to hear. Now you listen to me Commander, I give you my full blessing to build a future with my Sarah, I know that she loves you very deeply as well, and although there maybe some resistance at first, I know that you two have the makings of a long life together."

 

Harm could feel tears start to well up in his eyes as a result of the Colonel's touching words. Not one who liked to wear his heart on his sleeve Harm quickly decided to change the subject. "Ah, Sir if I know your niece as well as I think I do, I know that she is standing outside that door, busting to get back in here, and if I were a gambling man, I would say that she just heard every word of our conversation as well."

 

Matt let out a slight chuckle; "I agree Harm, go on, go and get that girl."

 

Harm rose from his seat and opened the door, there he found Mac leaning against the wall, wiping tears away. Harm took her by the hand, and led her towards the chair, which he had just vacated. Mac let go of Harm's hand in order to gather Matt's hands within her own. Harm placed his hands on her shoulders.

 

Matt begins to speak softly, "Darling, I can feel that the end is near."

 

Mac let out a gasp, "No Uncle Matt please fight, you are a United States Marine, please fight."

 

Harm tightened his grip on her shoulders as Matt answered his niece, "Honey you know that you can't argue with the man or woman 'upstairs', will you do me one favour before I go?"

 

"Anything Uncle Matt, you just ask, you know that I will do anything."

 

"Will you sing for me that song that you used to sing in Arizona in order to stay strong?"

 

"Of course Uncle Matt."

 

With that Mac began to sing.

 

 

 

Some say love, it is a river

 

That drowns the tender reed

 

Some say love, it is a razor

 

That leaves your soul to bleed

 

Some say love, it is a hunger,

 

An endless aching need

 

I say love, it is a flower,

 

And you its only seed.

 

 

 

Mac's voice began to crack, and hearing her distress Harm joined in.

 

 

 

It's the heart, afraid of breaking,

 

That never learns to dance

 

It's the dream, afraid of waking,

 

That never takes a chance

 

It's the one, who won't be taken,

 

Who cannot seem to give

 

And the soul, afraid of dyin',

 

That never learns to live

 

 

 

While Harm and Mac were singing, Matt closed his eyes. His hand dropped out of Sarah's and he passed away. Sarah stopped singing and put her head on Matt's chest. She began to sob quietly. With tears streaming down his own cheeks, Harm decided to finish the song, and as he sang he buzzed for a nurse.

 

 

 

When the night has been too lonely,

 

And the road has been too long

 

And you think that love is only

 

For the lucky and the strong

 

Just remember in the winter

 

Far beneath the bitter snows

 

Lies the seed, that with the sun's love,

 

In the spring becomes the rose

 

 

 

As Harm was finishing the song, the nurse walked in and Harm nodded to her. He knelt to Sarah's level. "Honey, it is time to go." He whispered softly.

 

Sarah lifted her head and nodded, Harm took her by the hand and helped her to her feet. Mac leaned over and kissed Matt on his forehead. Harm anticipated what she was about to do and stood at attention beside her. She stood at attention as well, and together they both salute.

 

Harm put his arm around Sarah's shoulders, and she leaned into him. Together they walked out of the room, and then out of the hospital.

 

Short time later

 

Harm and Sarah walked down along the water, where they found a bench and sat down, both seemingly lost in their own thoughts. For a long time they just sat and stared into the water. Surprisingly it was Sarah who broke the silence.

 

"Harm, can I be honest with you?"

 

Harm took her hand, and looked into her eyes. "Of course you can Sarah, you know that you can tell me anything."

 

"Um," Sarah started falteringly. "I have no idea how I am going to get through this. I have no idea; it all happened so suddenly, I haven't been able to even think about anything, especially how I'm going to recover."

 

Harm maneuvered himself so that he could place his hands on her shoulders.

 

"Now listen here, Sarah Mackenzie. You do know that you're not going to be going through this alone, don't you?"

 

Mac slowly nods her head.

 

You do know that I am here and I will play whatever role you want, and you know that together we can get through anything."

 

Sarah began to speak but with her eyes cast downwards. Harm quickly corrected this by taking a hold of her chin and tilting her head up so that she was looking him in the eyes. For awhile she just stared into his beautiful blue-green eyes, and then she began to speak. "Harm you do know that I am really glad that you are here. I have no idea how I would have gotten through this if it hadn't been for you, even though I am still not sure why you dropped everything to come."

 

Harm let out a small chuckle; he cupped the side of Sarah's face in his hands, and stared intently into her brown eyes.

 

"Don't you get it by now Marine? I dropped everything in DC to come here and be with you."

 

Harm took a large breath, not believing what he was about to say.

 

"I dropped everything in DC to come here because I love you. I am madly and hopelessly in love with you and there was no way that I was letting you go through this torture all by yourself, I just would not have been able to live with myself. So that is why I came, because, Sarah Mackenzie, I have loved you for the longest time."

 

Tears began to form in Sarah's eyes and she averted Harm's gaze sharply.

 

Harm wiped away the tears and once again tilted her face so that she was looking at him.

 

"Sarah, what's wrong, why did you look away?"

 

"I have a confession to make. I overheard your conversation with Uncle Matt. I know that the only reason that you told him that you had fallen in love with me, is because you knew it was what he wanted to hear, and you are only telling me now because you feel sorry for me."

 

Harm stood up, only to drop to his knees in front of Sarah.

 

"How long have you known me Sarah?"

 

"Just over three years."

 

"For a starters in all of this time how many times have I used your given name, not counting today."

 

"I don't know, not very many."

 

"During all of this time, have I ever been so stupid as to tell you, or someone else, something only because it was something that I felt they wanted to hear or because I felt sorry for them."

 

"No I guess not."

 

"And have I ever been able to lie to you?"

 

"No"

 

"Look into my eyes right now."

 

Sarah looked intently into his eyes.

 

"I love you Sarah Mackenzie and I am not telling you because I feel sorry for you. I am telling you because that is what I feel in my heart, and I knew that I could not go another day without letting you know. You believe me don't you?"

 

Tears flowed down Mac's cheeks and he used his thumb to wipe them away.

 

"Now Sarah, I know that this is a lot to take in at this time, and I don't expect the matter to be pursued at the moment, I just needed you to know."

 

Now it was Sarah's turn to take Harm's face in her hands. She let out a small chuckle, which led to her all out laughing. Harm looked at her strangely.

 

He finally spoke, "I can't believe it, my Marine has finally gone off the deep end."

 

Sarah replies, "typical Sailor, dense as always. I cannot believe that you have not noticed."

 

"Noticed what?"

 

Sarah began to laugh again.

 

"Noticed that I have fallen in love with you as well. I knew that I always had very deep feelings for you but it has only been recently that I have fallen head over heels, madly in love with you."

 

Harm took in what Sarah had just shared with him and grinned one of those grins that made Sarah and every woman who had ever watched him weak at the knees.

 

"You love me?"

 

Sarah closed in.

 

"I love you."

 

"Woo Hoo"

 

"Harm calm down."

 

"Calm down? The woman of my dreams and my heart has just told me that she loves me and you want me to calm down?"

 

"Yes dear, because I can't kiss you, unless you calm down."

 

"Well in that case, Aye aye Ma'am."

 

With that Harm bent his face to Sarah's. Very tentatively he pressed his lips to hers. But Sarah would have none of that; she wrapped her arms around his neck and brought his head even closer, which enabled her to deepen the kiss. Although tentative at first, the kiss soon turned to one of passion, and then one of love. Harm and Sarah put all of their feelings for one another from the last three years into that kiss.

 

Reluctantly Harm began to pull back.

 

"What's wrong?"

 

"Well my dear, we are in public, and as nice as this is I don't want to give everyone a free show, or be written up for PDA's."

 

"Hmm I see your point."

 

Harm once again sat beside her on the bench; loosely draping his arm around her shoulders.

 

"Harm?"

 

"Yes my dear Sarah?"

 

"What do we do now?"

 

"Well that's easy. We are going to love each other and we are going to support each other, both unconditionally and then when we get back to DC we are going to sit down with the Admiral and we are going to work out a way to that we can love each other and still be together at JAG."

 

"So you want to tell the Admiral straight away?"

 

"Well I feel that the Admiral has been like a father to both of us, and I would not feel right hiding this from him, the same as I would not feel comfortable hiding it from Bud and Harriet or anyone else for that matter. I want to be able to yell from the rooftops that I have fallen in love with a beautiful jarhead, and that more importantly she loves me too. So you agree?"

 

Mac nodded.

 

"I agree."

 

And with that she kissed him.

 

 

 

After a short while, Sarah pulled back and grasped Harm's hand, an action Harm relished, and encouraged Sarah to put her head on his shoulder. She did so and let out a large sigh.

 

Harm smiled, "penny for your thoughts Major."

 

"I was just thinking."

 

"About what?"

 

Sarah moved slightly so that she was once again looking directly into Harm's blue-green eyes.

 

"Harm, when I was in California, I didn't need to make a lot of plans for my father, the hospice took care of that. I did not have anything to do with Chris' arrangements or Dalton's, so I really don't know what we need to do now. I know there is stuff that has to be done, but what?"

 

Harm pulled Sarah towards him so that she was lying with her back against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her.

 

"Well sweetheart, you want Matt to be buried in Arlington don't you?"

 

Harm felt Sarah nod her head, so he continued.

 

"I was thinking maybe we could call the Admiral and ask him to make all the arrangements from DC. With his contacts I am sure that he would arrange a military service that is full of dignity, and class, everything that the Colonel deserves and much more. What do you think?"

 

"What do I think, I think that is a suggestion that I will take you up on, for one it will be much easier to arrange a service from DC, plus I don't think I could wrap my head around making the arrangements at the moment anyway. You know, I still cannot believe that he is gone."

 

Harm said nothing. Instead all he did was bury his face in Sarah's hair and pull her closer.

 

"Harm?"

 

"Yes sweetheart?"

 

Sarah smiled, she never thought she would like a term of such affection being used towards her, by anyone from apart her Uncle Matt, but from Harm she enjoyed it. It made her feel loved and wanted.

 

"What would I do without you?"

 

Harm spun her around.

 

"That is easy Sarah. That same as what I would do without you. "

 

"What's that?"

 

"Well, we are never going to find that."

 

"Ooh, good answer Commander."

 

 

 

Sarah rose from the bench and pulled Harm up with her. Hand in hand they walked along beside the water, not speaking, just walking. The day turned into night and they continued to walk, just enjoying being in one another's company. It was late night when they reached the door of Matt's cottage.

 

Sarah hesitated before entering. Seeing that Harm placed his hands gently on Sarah's shoulders. Leaning down, he whispered in her ear. "You do know that it is going to be all right. It will be hard at first, but eventually things will get easier, you will hold onto the memories that you have of Matt, and you will share them, so that everyone knows how much this man meant to you."

 

Sarah covered Harm's hands with her own and smiled.

 

"Harm it's late, will you stay with me tonight?"

 

"Of course sweetheart, what do you think I am going to do, pack up all of my stuff and move into a hotel? Of course I will stay in the cottage tonight."

 

Sarah let out a small chuckle and turned around so that she was looking straight into his eyes. She snakes her arms around his neck.

 

"Harm, do you remember what we did this afternoon?"

 

Harm grinned and nodded

 

"Do you remember all that we declared?"

 

Harm once again nodded, wondering whether or not this was going where he thought it was.

 

"Well my dear, apart from this afternoon, you have been an absolute rock for me, and I love you for it very very much. I am not asking you to just stay at the cottage, what I want is for you to 'stay' with me. I want you to share my bed. I want you to show me how much you love me, and I want to be able to show you how much I love you. So once again, will you stay with me?"

 

Harm looked Sarah in the eyes and cupped her face in his hands.

 

"Sarah darling, I would love nothing more than to pick you up in my arms right now and carry you inside and make mad passionate love to you, but I don't think this is the right time for us. Today you have lost a lot, and you are sad and vulnerable and I don't want to take advantage of that."

 

Sarah let out another small chuckle. She placed her hand at the back of Harm's head and pulled it towards her, kissing him with a passion that left them both breathless.

 

"Harm, do you mean everything that you said to me this afternoon? Do you really love me?"

 

"Oh Sarah, I do, you are my other half, and without you I'm not whole. You are my soulmate, and I don't ever want to envision my life without you, so to answer your question yes I love you, with all of my being."

 

"Well if you love me and know me, then you should know that you are definitely not taking advantage of me. You know that I am a woman who is of her own mind, and if I did not want this I would not have suggested it. So I guess the third time is the charm. Harmon Rabb Jr, will you stay with me tonight?"

 

Sarah once again reached up and kissed Harm with all of the passion that she could muster. This time Harm responded wholeheartingly. Sarah broke away and took him by the hand to lead him into the cottage. As they reach the bedroom she stopped and placed both hands on his chest.

 

"I love you Harm."

 

"I love you too Sarah."

 

Sarah kissed Harm again and pushed him into the bedroom, and he reached behind her and shut the door. That night Harm and Mac combined their souls and shared their love. They were now able to show each other without words, how much one really meant to the other.

 

Harm awoke the next morning and reached out beside him, only to find the bed cold and empty. Sensing something was terribly wrong; Harm rose, put his boxers on and walked into the living room. Once there he studied the sight that he saw before him. Here was Sarah sitting in her Uncle's favourite chair, clutching a photograph of the both of them. This sight was hard enough for Harm, but the part that was truly heartbreaking for him, was the fact that Sarah was quietly sobbing as she was holding on to photograph, so much so that her knuckles were white.

 

Harm made his way over to where Sarah was sitting, and gently pulled her out of the chair. He himself sat down and brought Sarah down with him, so that she was cradled in his arms. All he did was just hold her and allow her to cry, because he knew that letting it out was healthy for her. After a while Sarah began to speak.

 

"I know that I should not be falling apart like this, but when I woke up this morning and came in here, I saw this photograph, and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Today I have to accompany the body of the only person who I have considered to be my family for a large portion of my life back to Washington, just so I can bury him tomorrow."

 

"Oh Honey!" Harm began, his arms tightening around her as an automatic reflex. "I know that this is a hard realisation for you, but surely you knew that it was an eventuality?"

 

"I know that somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew this part had to come sooner or later, but I think that for the most part I have been in something that I know of way too well. Denial, and I believe that feeling your love last night, and being able to be so open to you, and being able to show you my love, was just what I needed to bring me out of this denial."

 

Harm and Sarah were silent for awhile; both lost in their own thoughts. It was Sarah who eventually broke the silence.

 

"Harm honey?"

 

"Mmm, yes sweetheart?"

 

"I love the way that you are here for me, and the way that you hold me, but would you be able to give me a few minutes? There are some things that I need to think about and go through in my mind, and I feel that it would be better by myself."

 

"Are you sure Sarah? I don't want you to run away from me. I want you to know that I love you and that you can tell me anything. No matter what it is. You know that don't you?"

 

"I know honey. I promise you, I am not running away, it is just today will probably be the last time I will be in this cottage and I just need some time alone with my thoughts and memories."

 

"OK then." Harm replied kissing her softly on the lips. "I have to go and take a shower and make a few calls anyway. Now don't hesitate to call me if you need me, OK?"

 

A smile played on Sarah's lips. "Of course I won't, I love you."

 

"I love you too sweetheart." Harm gently raised Sarah off him and went into the bedroom leaving Sarah alone in the chair with her thoughts.

 

Harm picked up the phone in the bedroom and dialed JAG Headquarters, making sure to use the Admiral's direct number.

 

"Admiral Chegwidden speaking."

 

"Admiral, it is Commander Rabb."

 

"Aah Commander, how is everything in the Seattle?"

 

"Well Sir that is why I called, Colonel O'Hara passed away, yesterday afternoon."

 

"Oh Harm I am sorry, please give Mac my condolences."

 

"That I will Sir."

 

"Is there anything that I can do at this end?"

 

"Yes Sir, that is the main reason why I called. If it is possible, it would mean a lot to Sarah and myself if you could possibly arrange an Arlington funeral for tomorrow."

 

AJ's eyebrows shot up at the use of Harm's words. "Consider it done Commander. Now tell me seriously Harm, how is Mac?"

 

"Well Sir, like usual she is trying to be a big tough Marine, but truthfully, I have never seen Sarah like this Admiral."

 

"Don't forget what I told you before you left, I want you to take very good care of her, she needs all of the help she can get at the moment."

 

"I am Sir, I am. In fact about that, when we get back to Washington, Sarah and I need to sit down with you and speak to you about something."

 

"I had a feeling that something like this was in the works, and I think that I have a fairly good idea what you wish to speak to me about."

 

Harm's grew wide in panic, and he managed yo control his voice long enough to ask, "Really Sir? How?"

 

AJ responded, "That is quite simple Commander, since we have been speaking, you have referred to the Major as 'Sarah' three times. Now before today, I cannot say that I have ever recalled you ever calling Mac by that name." AJ smiled, feeling quite proud of himself.

 

"Well ah Sir, I can explain."

 

"No need for that Commander, I assume you are coming in through Andrew's this afternoon? I will see you then. Goodbye Commander."

 

"Goodbye, and thankyou Admiral."

 

Harm replaced the receiver on the telephone, and went into the shower. While he allowed the water to cascade over his body, he went over his conversation with the Admiral. 'Did AJ really know what had transpired between Sarah and himself, here in Seattle? No how could he?' Harm dried himself off and dressed himself in his jeans. Once ready her made his way into the living room, only to find Sarah staring into space, not really focused upon anything.

 

Waiting by the door, Harm studied her for a minute, then with his patented 'flyboy' grin firmly in place, he strode over to where she is sitting and swept her up in his arms and lie on couch with Sarah on top of him. Once in this position, Sarah leaned her head up against his bare chest and snuggled in tight.

 

Once again Harm asked, "A penny for your thoughts Major."

 

Recalling yesterday's conversation, Sarah playfully slapped him on the chest. "Now Commander that is the second time in two days that you have only offered me a penny for my thoughts, are you under the impression that I am cheap?"

 

Harm laughs, "Now now my dear, that thought never crossed my mine, in fact I am starting to get the impression that you are very expensive, and I am going to have to watch my credit card limit when it comes to birthdays and Christmases."

 

Sarah giggles, "I agree Harm, you will need to watch your credit card limit, now enough of that, are you still interested in my thoughts?"

 

"Always, I guess I will just have to give you an IOU."

 

Sarah gave Harm one of her 'get serious' looks and voiced her thoughts.

 

"Anyway… I was just thinking, what would have happened if you hadn't of come? What I would have done. Harm, Uncle Matt was the one who helped me to get sober all of those years ago. And his death could have been the one thing that pushed me over the edge and made me lose my sobriety and subsequently endangering my career my relationships and maybe even my life."

 

Harm tilted Sarah's chin up towards his face. "Sarah look at me."

 

Sarah did.

 

"Listen to me. Although Uncle Matt took you to the Mesa to help you to dry out, he did not do it for you. You did it by yourself and for yourself and I for one am very proud of you for that. Over the last ten years that you have been sober, you have forged yourself a brilliant career, and some wonderful relationships, and during this entire time, you have only fallen off the wagon once. And that one time was only due to an extreme situation. After that happened, what did you do? You picked yourself up, and you got back on that wagon, and you started again. As for wondering what you would have done, if I had not followed you here. As I told you before, you are never going to find out."

 

Tears began to well up in Sarah's eyes, and she stroked Harm's cheek lovingly.

 

"Harmon Rabb Junior, you know that I love you right?"

 

"Yes I do, and it just as well you love me Sarah Mackenzie, because I love you as well, and without you I would simply not be a whole person, and that is not an option for me."

 

At this point Sarah had tears streaming down her cheeks, which Harm kissed away. Knowing that this will not do, Sarah brought Harm's lips to her own and kissed him passionately.

 

 

 

After awhile Harm and Mac were once again sitting contently. This time it was Harm who broke the silence.

 

"Sarah?"

 

Sarah was resting her head on Harm's chest. With her eyes closed she just mumbled.

 

"Mmm hmm"

 

"I rang the Admiral before my shower and told him everything that has happened. I also asked him to arrange a military funeral for tomorrow, he said that he would be honored to do so, and that he sends you his condolences. Oh and there is one another thing."

 

"What's that Harm?" Sarah replied absently.

 

"I think he knows about our relationship."

 

Hearing this Sarah sat bolt upright, her hands flying to her mouth.

 

"How can he, who told him?" she began. Then her eyes narrowed in on Harm, she pointed one slender finger at him. "What did you tell him?"

 

Harm put his hands up in self-defence. "Nothing I swear."

 

"Then how did he find out, if only you and I know about this, and we both agreed to tell him together when we get back?"

 

"Well..." Harm began, swallowing hard before continuing. "Firstly I think it may have to do with the scuttlebutt that is going around the JAG bullpen, due to our little conversation with Bud and Harriet yesterday morning, while we were in bed."

 

Sarah's eyes grew wide with the memory, but she remained silent as Harm continued.

 

"Secondly I think it might have something to do with me continually referring to you as 'Sarah' whenever I have been speaking to the Admiral. And thirdly, it may be me virtually confessing my feelings for you to the Admiral in order to get permission of him to come out here."

 

Sarah playfully slapped Harm on the chest. "Subtle, flyboy, real subtle."

 

"What can I say I am a subtle guy."

 

"Yeah real subtle, that's why it took you three years to tell me how you felt about me."

 

"Well that has stopped now, because now I am going to spend everyday telling you how I feel about you, I love you Sarah Mackenzie."

 

"I love you too Harm." Sarah replied as she kissed him softly on the lips. "As much as I am enjoying sitting here with you telling you that I love you, I was reading in the TV Guide that The American President is on.

 

Harm groaned. "Eww Michael Douglas, how can you want to watch that crap?"

 

"Easy Harm, it is one of my favourite movies, and if you watch it with me, then I will allow you to watch what is on after it."

 

"And what is that may I ask?"

 

"Top Gun"

 

Harm jumped up, sending Sarah to the floor with a thump. "Woo Hoo!!"

 

Sarah stood up and dusted herself off. She rolled her eyes. "Here we go again. I take it you are willing to watch this movie with me?"

 

Harm saluted and smiled. "Ma'am yes Ma'am!"

 

"Good Sailor. Now move over."

 

With that Harm moved over and Sarah sat beside him. Snuggled in one another's arms they watched the first movie.

 

Time passed and the credits to The American President rolled. Sarah let out an audible sigh.

 

A smile plays on Harm's lips. "What was that for?"

 

"Oh, I just love that final scene when The President is finally able to give Sidney flowers, because as it turns out he has a rose garden." Sarah replied wistfully.

 

"My my, aren't we the romantic. But don't forget, that rose garden is more than just a plot point in one of your romantic movies. It was that very rose garden that brought us together, and when we get back, if you would like I will get Webb to arrange for me to snatch a rose for you."

 

This time it was Sarah's turn to smile. "Now who is the hopeless romantic?"

 

Harm coughed, wanting to change subject. "Enough of that now, it is time for a proper movie."

 

Sarah groaned but nevertheless settled back into Harm's arms.

 

As the credits rolled, Mac muttered "I would just love to reach through that television and eat that Maverick with a spoon."

 

Harm sat up, and his eyebrows shot up incredulously. "Pardon Marine? Care to repeat yourself?"

 

Sarah looked into the eyes that she loved so much. "What I said Sailor, was that I would love to reach into the television and eat that Maverick with a spoon."

 

Harm looked at Sarah with shock, not believing that she actually had the gall to repeat herself, and all he could voice was. "Why?"

 

Sarah continued to look into Harm's eyes, the playfulness present enough for anyone to see. "Why? Well I just love the way that his demeanour changes when he is in the air, it becomes all about defeating the bad guy."

 

Harm just shakes his head. "Do you mean that you are lusting over this guy purely because he is a TOMCAT pilot?"

 

Sarah put a hand her over mouth in order to stifle her giggles.

 

Harm saw this and began to tickle her.

 

Sarah begged for Harm to stop, to which he replied "Nah! I want you begging for Mercy?"

 

Sarah replied "Never!" So Harm continued his mission.

 

Sarah decided that the best strategy would be a distraction and she pulled Harm's head to hers and started to kiss him. The strategy obviously worked and Harm abandoned his tickling.

 

After what seemed like an eternity, but an eternity which they both enjoyed, Harm pulled away and cupped Sarah face in his hands. "Do you really wish that you could eat Maverick with a spoon?"

 

Sarah let out a small giggle. "Now why would I want to lust after a fictional flyboy when I have one that is the real deal right here with me, and loving me?"

 

"Good answer Marine." With that Harm once again resumed kissing Sarah. "Mmm Honey?"

 

"Mmm, yes dear." Sarah laughed.

 

"What time is it."

 

"Harmon Rabb Jr, this is really an inopportune time to ask, but to answer your question it is 1442 and 38 seconds."

 

"Will you please tell me how you do that, now that we have confessed our deepest feelings for one another."

 

"Listen flyboy, I'll make you a deal, I will tell you how I tell the time accurately without a watch, as soon as our relationship takes the next step."

 

"And what exactly do you believe the next step to be?"

 

"Well Sailor, I believe that I will leave up to your 'Naval Intelligence." Sarah smirked, obviously quite proud of herself.

 

"You think you're clever?" Harm smiled.

 

"Very" was Sarah's only response.

 

Suddenly Harm jumped up without any warning, almost landing Sarah on the carpet again, and he ran out of the room, only to return a few seconds later, and Sarah did not notice anything different about his appearance.

 

Harm kneeled down in front of Sarah and looked at her with a very serious expression. Seeing this Sarah began to get worried. "Harm..." she began.

 

Harm placed a finger over her lips in order to silence her. "Nah ah Marine, my turn to talk."

 

Hearing him talk like this only alarmed Sarah more, but she knew enough not to stay anything and to just listen.

 

"You know how much I love you?"

 

Sarah only nodded, not knowing where this was going.

 

"Well when I envision us together, in the future. I see us having lots and lots of children together, and envision us having arguments and making up, and I envision us growing very very old together. You see Sarah. You were there for me when I found out the truth about my Dad in Russia. You allowed me to make up my own mind when I contemplated going back to flying. You defended me and believed in me when I was arrested for killing that Russian mobster, and basically you have just always been there watching my six, for which I will be eternally grateful."

 

Sarah sat there numbly, tears glistening in her eyes. "Harm?"

 

"Yes Sarah?"

 

"Is this conversation heading where I think it is heading?"

 

"Well that depends."

 

"Depends on what?"

 

"On this." Harm raises himself off both of his knees, only to settle back down onto one knee, out of his pocket he pulls a deep red velvet box.

 

"Sarah Catherine Mackenzie, will you do me the honour of marrying into the Navy?"

 

Sarah, once again crying, swatted him playfully, "How romantic." But then she looked at Harm intently. "Do you really mean it?"

 

Harm covered Sarah's hand with his own. "Yes I mean it, on my Dad's honour."

 

A smile spread across Sarah's lips. "Well in that case, yes yes yes, I will as you so nicely put it, marry into the Navy, but only on one condition."

 

Harm by this time had a flyboy grin on his face wider than Sarah had ever seen it. "And what may this condition be?"

 

"Easy, that you marry into the Marines." Sarah began to laugh.

 

Harm joined in the laughter, "I think that can be arranged."

 

"Well in that case, put that ring on my finger, shut up and kiss me you fool."

 

"Aye aye Ma'am. " With that Harm opened the box to reveal a ring in a platinum setting. In the middle of the ring was a diamond bigger than any that Sarah had ever seen, surrounded by two rubies and then two smaller diamonds. As fast as he could he slipped it onto his fiancé's hand. After doing so, Harm answered Sarah's request to kiss her.

 

Later that afternoon found Harm and Sarah in a taxi on their way to the airport. As they were riding along Sarah continued to look at her left hand.

 

"Sarah?"

 

"Mmm?"

 

"Would you like to know the history of the ring?"

 

Once again Sarah swatted him. "Of course I do Harm, what did you think I was going to say, 'No my darling fiancé, you have just given me this beautiful ring, please don't tell me its history.'"

 

Harm laughs, "Now who is being silly?"

 

"Just tell me"

 

"OK.. well my Grandfather gave Grandma Sarah the ring as a solitaire. Then when Dad was getting ready to propose to Mom, Gran gave him the ring to which he added the two rubies. Then not too long ago, Mom gave me the ring and I added the two extra diamonds, and that my dear ends today's history lesson on where your engagement ring came from."

 

Sarah was silent for a long time, but after a while she voiced her thoughts.

 

"I cannot believe that you have given me something that has such family history."

 

"Don't forget, now they are your family."

 

"Harm?"

 

"Yes Sweetheart?"

 

"I love you."

 

"I love you too Sarah." Aware of where they had just arrived Harm softly kissed her on the cheek.

 

Harm and Sarah stepped out of the taxi, and Harm paid the driver. Walking onto the Tarmac, they watched as Matt's casket was raised into the military transport. As this was happening all personnel present saluted. As the hatch was closing Harm heard a small sob escape from his partner.

 

Suddenly not caring for military protocol, Harm put his arm around Sarah's shoulders, drawing her near. Still in this position he lead her to their transport and onto the plane, knowing that ahead of them was probably one of the worse days of Sarah's life.

 

 

 

ANDREWS AIRFORCE BASE

 

WASHINGTON D.C.

 

Hours later

 

The transports arrived at Andrews and the Admiral, Bud and Harriet greeted Harm and Sarah. They all stood at attention and saluted as the casket was lowered from the transport. They watched as the military pallbearers took the casket away to a waiting hearse. Once the hearse was driven away, the JAG crew began to walk towards the main terminal of the Airforce Base.

 

Once in the safety of a private office, the hugs and questions began.

 

"How are you Mac?" the Admiral began.

 

"I am fine thankyou Sir, the Commander has helped me through this time more than anyone should have someone help them, if that makes any sense." Sarah replied, her left hand resting briefly on Harm's forearm. This movement caused the diamonds on her engagement ring to catch the light, which in turn caught Harriet's eye.

 

"It makes perfect sense Ma'am. Um Ma'am?" Harriet began to stumble.

 

"Yes Harriet.

 

"If I may be so bold, that ring on your finger, um is it new, and um, what does it mean."

 

Harm answered Harriet by putting his arm around Sarah's waist, a move that caused both the eyebrows of Bud and AJ to shoot up. "I think that you're bright enough to know what it means Lieutenant."

 

A grin spreads across Harriet's face not unlike that of a Cheshire Cat. "Aye aye Sir" was her only response.

 

AJ replaced the grin that is threatening to reveal itself with a stern expression and cleared his throat. "Well.. It has been a long couple of days, I feel that everyone should go home and have a good night's rest, then we will all get through tomorrow, and then afterwards, Major, Commander you both and I will have to have a little chat."

 

Harm and Sarah looked at one another with a panicked look. But the Admiral continued.

 

"Major, Commander, you have a Government vehicle at your disposal. That is unless you would rather I drive you and drop you off personally at your RESPECTIVE homes?"

 

Once again Harm and Sarah looked at each other, having a conversation without saying a word. Having finished their conversation, they both stood at attention.

 

"That won't be necessary Sir" Harm addressed the Admiral. After speaking both Harm and Sarah saluted AJ. To which AJ responded. Harm then quickly snatched the keys from AJ's hand and he and Sarah made a hurried exit.

 

 

 

THE NEXT MORNING

 

HARM'S APARTMENT

 

NORTH OF UNION STATION

 

Harm and Sarah were getting into their Dress Blues, when suddenly Harm heard cursing coming from the living room.

 

Following Sarah's voice, Harm made his way into the other room. He walked over to where Sarah was standing and placed his hands on her shoulders.

 

"Hey.. What's wrong?" he asked her quietly.

 

"It is this damn insignia, I just can't seem to get the stupid thing clasped." She exclaimed as she threw it down on the couch, giving up.

 

"Now now Ninja-Girl, what did that poor insignia ever do to you?" with that Harm picked it up and gently turned Sarah around. Taking a hold of her jacket he clasped the insignia firmly in place. Just as he was finishing he heard a knock at the door.

 

Sarah had no idea who is at the door, but it was obvious that Harm did as he confidently strode over to it and yanked it open. Standing on the other side were Trish, Frank and Grandma Sarah.

 

Sarah was astounded, but she managed to find her voice. "Mr., Mrs. Burnett, Mrs. Rabb, what are you doing here?"

 

Harm cradled Sarah's face in his hands. "Well it's simple Major, your family has come to help you through this tough day."

 

Tears started to glisten in Sarah's eyes. "What.. Family.. I don't understand.."

 

Grandma Sarah came over to where Sarah and Harm are standing, taking the younger woman's hand in her own, and led her over to the couch where she began to speak. "Now listen here young lady. That ring on your finger signifies that you are a member of this family, and subsequently you are surrounded by a lot of people who love you and want to help you."

 

By this time tears were running down Sarah's cheeks, which Harm's Grandmother wiped away with her thumb, in a manner which was familiar to Sarah because it was exactly the same way that Harm wiped away her tears. "Thankyou Mrs. Rabb."

 

"Harm is right, you are stubborn, I just said that you a member of this family so that means, that I am Gran, over here is Mom, and this guy, well you can call him whatever you please."

 

Harm, Sarah, Trish and Frank all laughed at Gran's statement regarding Frank.

 

"Well then" Sarah started to speak. "Looks like I am outnumbered, so I will try again, thankyou Gran." Trish and Frank come over and join Gran and Sarah in a group hug. "And thankyou Mr. and Mrs. Burnett for coming."

 

"Now now" Trish scolded. "What were you just told, I am Mom, don't forget."

 

"And I am Frank, because well, that's what everyone else calls me."

 

Sarah tried again, wanting to please her soon-to-be in-laws. "Thankyou Mom, Frank, Gran."

 

"Much better" replied Gran, "Now come here..." Gran gathered Sarah into her arms, as if she was a small child, making Sarah start to cry again, which in turn set off Gran, and subsequently Trish.

 

Once the hug is broken, Sarah stood up and walked over to Harm. She reached up on tiptoe and kissed him softly on the lips. "Thankyou honey, for everything, I love you."

 

"I love you too."

 

This display was too much for the two older women who started to cry again and this set off Sarah. Harm decided to put a stop to this and get the show on the road.

 

"C'mon ladies, pull yourselves together, or else my downstairs neighbour will be ringing me complaining of water seepage."

 

Sarah swatted Harm on the chest. "Listen here Harmon Rabb Jr, we are the three most important women in your life, so don't even start to make jokes."

 

This in turn encouraged Trish to pipe up. "That's my girl, don't take any of that stuff from him."

 

"Looks like you're beat Son" Frank chimed in coming over and slapping Harm on the back. "Does anyone know what time it is?"

 

"0845 and 17 seconds" Sarah replied.

 

Trish, Gran and Frank all opened their mouths to speak but were silenced by Harm who put his hand in the air. "Don't ask. I have known her for three years and she still won't tell me." This elicited laughter from everyone present. Harm continued. "Seriously, it is time to go." Cupping Sarah's face in his hands, he asked her. "Are you ready for this Marine?"

 

Sarah replied by putting her arms around Harm's waist. "As ready as I will ever be."

 

With that the five members of the Rabb family left for what Sarah was sure would be one of the toughest days of her life.

 

OUTSIDE CHAPEL

 

TWO HOURS LATER

 

Sarah stood outside the chapel and watched as the pallbearers brought the casket outside and loaded it onto the horse drawn gun carriage. She was very honored to have these particular men act as pallbearers, as she knew that showed a great deal of respect to her Uncle. The pallbearers were Clayton Webb, Bud, Tiner, two men from her Uncle's troop, and the Admiral was leader.

 

But the sight that made Sarah particularly proud was Harm. He was there again for her. She had thought that his role today was going to be that of a bystander, but it touched her heart when she saw him take his place next to the others in order to show his commitment not only to her but also to her Uncle.

 

 

 

Once the casket was loaded, Harm came and guided Sarah into their waiting car, in preparation for the ride to Arlington. It was only in the confines of the vehicle did he put his arm around Sarah's shoulders and spoke.

 

"The service was lovely."

 

"Mmm, yes, that it was." Sarah replied absently.

 

"Hey, are you with me?" Harm asked.

 

"Yeah, just thinking."

 

"You have been doing a lot of that lately."

 

"Well it has been a tough couple of days."

 

"May I ask what is on your mind?"

 

"I was just thinking about the service and how wonderful everything had been put together, the Admiral really outdid himself. The hymns were appropriate, and I still cannot figure out how he managed to get Uncle Matt's first commanding officer to come and speak, that was a really nice gesture."

 

"That it was." Harm voiced.

 

"Harm?" Sarah asked.

 

"Yes Sarah?"

 

"Do you know what the Admiral has planned for the graveside service?"

 

"Not really, I know about a couple of things, but he arranged most of it while we were still in Seattle."

 

"I guess I will have to wait and see then."

 

"Yes, but don't worry, we're here now."

 

"That we are." Sarah sighed.

 

Harm covered Sarah's hand with her own and squeezed it gently.

 

"You know, we don't have to get out of this car until you are good and ready."

 

"I know Harm, but I don't think that I will ever be ready for this, after all, this is it, this is the time when I actually have to put him in the ground and say goodbye."

 

"Yes that is true Sarah, you do have to put him in the ground today and say goodbye, but don' t forget, the memories are in here." Harm said as he placed his other hand over Sarah's heart. "And it is these memories that you will tell our children, and they will tell our grandchildren, and therefore the spirit of Colonel Matthew O'Hara will forever live on."

 

Sarah reached over and gently kissed Harm on the cheek. "Once again you are right, I don't know how I would have handled this if you weren't here."

 

Harm returned the gesture and kissed Sarah on the cheek. "Well as I have said continuously for the last three days, you will never have to find out what that's like. Now are you ready?"

 

Sarah opened the door, "with you here, always."

 

 

 

GRAVESITE OF COLONEL MATTHEW O'HARA

 

ARLINGTON CEMETARY

 

Sarah sat in her chair, with Harm beside her, and her family sitting close behind. She stared at the casket as it lay beside the opening in the ground. The hole which very soon would hold the body of her Uncle. Sarah knew she had to concentrate now, the chaplain was speaking.

 

"Now to speak about Colonel O'Hara, Rear Admiral AJ Chegwidden."

 

Sarah was shocked but not at all surprised by the Admiral's gesture. She knew that the Admiral had a fair idea how she would have felt if a person who did not really know him was up there speaking about the man that she loved as a father. She listened as he spoke about his career, and his personal achievements, about his dedication, and about all that he had done for her.

 

Once he had finished speaking, Sarah watched as the Admiral made his way back to his seat. She was touched, when he paused by her chair and briefly placed his hand on her shoulder. She knew that this was his way of telling her that he was here for her. Sarah smiled a grateful smile at the Admiral and then turned her attention back to the chaplain.

 

"For the reading we will now hear from Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb Junior."

 

Sarah looked at Harm startled. A question in her eyes. Once again Harm and Sarah were able to have a whole conversation without uttering a single word. Sarah was asking, "Why are you doing this? You have already done so much for me." And Harm was answering, "Because I love you, and I want to share that love with all of these people, by giving something back to the man who helped you, and whom you thought of as your father."

 

Sarah nodded her acceptance, and watched as Harm made his way to the podium to speak. Once he was there she listened intently to what Harm was saying.

 

"Admiral Chegwidden has already spoken about the accomplishments of Colonel O'Hara in both his career and personal life. " Harm began, "and I know that I am here to give a reading, but I feel it would be amiss of me if I did not say something as well. Many years ago, Colonel O'Hara helped a very young girl to get her life back on track. And it was this help that inspired this young girl to join the Marine Corps. It was because of Colonel O'Hara this Marine made her way to Washington DC and to JAG, where she came into my life, which I for one will be eternally grateful to him, because she by far, has been the best thing to ever happen to me."

 

Harm finished this little speech and looked over at Sarah, the scene that he saw buoyed his heart, even though it was heartbreaking to see his Sarah in tears, he was happy that she was being comforted by his family, 'their family' he quietly corrected himself.

 

Confident that he could go on, Harm then proceeded to continue with his task at hand, his reading. Clearing his throat Harm began.

 

 

 

Near a shady wall a rose once grew,

 

Budded and blossomed in God's free light,

 

Watered and fed by morning dew,

 

Shedding its sweetness day and night.

 

 

 

As it grew and blossomed fair and tall,

 

Slowly raising to loftier height,

 

It came to a crevice in the wall

 

Through which there shone a beam of light.

 

 

 

Onward it crept

 

with added strength

 

With never a thought of fear or pride,

 

It followed the light through the crevice's length

 

And unfolded itself on the other side.

 

 

 

The light, the dew, the broadening view

 

Were found the same as they were before,

 

And it lost itself in beauties new,

 

Breathing its fragrance more and more.

 

 

 

Shall claim of death

 

cause us to grieve

 

and make our courage

 

Faint and fall?

 

 

 

Nay? Let us faith and hope receive-

 

The rose still grows beyond the wall,

 

Scattering fragrance far and wide

 

Just as it did in days of yore,

 

Just as it did on the other side,

 

Just as it will forevermore.

 

 

 

Once finished Harm looked up and the sight before him was startling. Here amongst him was a group mainly made up of military personnel and there was not one dry eye. What Harm did not know was that his hardest task was still at hand.

 

Harm watched as the other pallbearers made their way towards the casket. He assisted as they folded up the American flag, in preparation to give it to Sarah, his Sarah. Harm watched as Bud and Clay handed it to the Admiral, who started to walk towards Sarah. But Harm became confused when the Admiral turned on heel and started to walk back towards where the pallbearers were standing, and Harm was shocked when the Admiral stopped in front of him, and whispered in his ear.

 

"Go and give it to her son, it will mean a lot to her coming from you."

 

Harm nodded towards his CO numbly and reached out with cold fingers to take the flag from AJ. Slowly he walks towards his beloved Sarah, knowing that this is one of the hardest things that he will ever have to do in his life.

 

Just before he reaches her Harm looks into her eyes, they are as wide as saucers in recognition of what he is about to do, and tears run freely down her cheeks, as they do his. Once he has reached her he stops and reaches out, praying that his voice will hold.

 

Harm swallows thickly. But continues.

 

"On behalf of the president of the United States with the thanks of a grateful nation." He says, his voice full of emotion. He gently places the flag in Sarah's hands, making sure that his fingers touch hers, he knew that she would understand that this was his way of offering support.

 

They both jumped slightly at the sounds of the 21 Gun salute. And then there was silence until a lone soldier, standing on a hillside above the grave, put his bugle to his lips and Taps played into the stillness.

 

After what seemed like an eternity as the last notes died away, Clayton came towards them with a basket of single red roses, which Harm had requested that he retrieve from a very special place. Sarah reached in and took one, then made her way over to the casket.

 

Harm stayed behind at the seating, but was touched when Sarah comes back to him and reached out to take his hand. She led him over to the casket so that they could say their final goodbyes.

 

Sarah placed the rose on the casket, and kissed the lid. She then stood at attention, Harm knew this stance well, and together they saluted Sarah's Uncle for the final time. That action was repeated by the other military personnel present.

 

Once they stood at ease, together they walked towards the car. Sarah did not look back. She knew that if she did, she would not be able to leave.

 

ONE HOUR LATER

 

BUD AND HARRIET'S HOUSE

 

 

 

Harm and Sarah were sitting quietly on the sofa in the living room, taking in their surroundings. Sarah could not believe that so many people had come for the wake. She was proud, but she knew that her Uncle would be embarrassed by all the fuss. Soon Harm and Sarah were joined by the Admiral who sat on the coffee table in front of them and began to speak.

 

"How are you Mac?" he asked.

 

"Suddenly wishing that I had one dollar for everytime someone asked me that question, Admiral." Sarah replied.

 

The Admiral smiles slightly and then focuses on Harm which worried him.

 

"I take it that you are still taking good care of the Major, Commander?"

 

"With every ounce of my being Sir," was Harm's response.

 

"And I take it by the ring on that finger, that things are fairly serious, Major, Commander?" The Admiral stated as he inwardly relished the panicked looks on the faces of his officers.

 

Harm felt that now it was time for the honesty that he and Sarah spoke about in Seattle, and he conveyed this to Sarah though a single look. Clearing his throat, Harm draped his arm around Sarah's shoulders and addressed the Admiral.

 

"Sir, Sarah and I will be getting married as soon as I can get her to the altar. I want to marry her as soon as I can, because firstly, I promised the Colonel that I would take very good care of her, and secondly because I love her more and more everyday, and I cannot wait to start my life with her."

 

Sarah let out a breath and looked up at her fiancé. Quietly she whispered "I love you too."

 

Harm responded by kissing her. Momentarily they forgot their surroundings and the kiss turned passionate. They are only interrupted by a cough coming from in front of them. Becoming aware of exactly who was coughing, Harm and Sarah broke apart. They listened intently as the Admiral spoke again.

 

"You too do realise that Officers who are married or intimate cannot work together in the same chain of command?"

 

He watched as his two Officers nodded gravely.

 

"But... I have already spoken to the SecNav, and he agreed that as long as you are discreet there should not be any problems in keeping you together."

 

Harm jumped out of his seat. "Woo Hoo!" he yelled and reaching down he hugged Sarah, who in turn hugged the Admiral. A move which Harm himself copied. Realizing exactly what they are doing, they both pulled back embarrassed, and Harm was relieved when he saw the Admiral smile slightly.

 

Harm stared at the Admiral, unbelieving what he was about to ask.

 

"Uh Admiral?"

 

"Yes Commander."

 

"If I may, how is it that you had time to talk to the SecNav, if you only very recently found out about our relationship?"

 

"Well that is really quite simple Commander. Because I have not spoken to the SecNav about this in about three years."

 

"Sorry Sir, I don't understand."

 

"You see Commander I asked the SecNav for this favor the same day that you and the Major defended Colonel O'Hara for stealing the Declaration of Independence."

 

Harm and Sarah, sat in stunned silence, slowly taking in what the Admiral had just said. This silence was broken by Sarah, who started to laugh; soon both AJ and Harm joined in.

 

After a while decorum set in once more. Harm and Sarah stood at attention in front of the Admiral.

 

In chorus they both said, "Thankyou Sir." Then they both gave a crisp salute.

 

"Anytime, just do me a favor, don't make me regret it."

 

"We will try Sir, " was Sarah's response.

 

 

 

HARM'S APARTMENT

 

NORTH OF UNION STATION

 

LATER THAT EVENING

 

 

 

Harm and Sarah were sitting quietly on Harm's sofa. Sarah was admiring her engagement ring, when she began to speak.

 

"You know what Harm, something just dawned on me, you had this engagement ring in Seattle with you, but when you left for Seattle, we were not even together, so it makes me wonder why on Earth you were carrying it with you."

 

"That's easy to explain, " Harm began. "You see I have carried this ring around with me ever since we got back from Russia, because it was that trip, that made me realise in my thick head exactly how much I love you."

 

"Really Harm?"

 

"Really Sarah."

 

"Harm?"

 

"Yes Sarah?"

 

"Do you know how much I love you? Because I love you so much it hurts."

 

"Don't worry Sarah, I love you just as much, plus an inch more."

 

Sarah reaches over and kissed her 'flyboy', while she is doing so Harm yawned.

 

"Charming flyboy, real nice!"

 

"Sorry it is late, what time is it anyway?"

 

"2311 and 46 seconds."

 

Harm looked into Sarah's eyes and sighed. "I thought that you said you would tell me how you did that if our relationship took the next step?"

 

"That I did."

 

"So will you tell me"

 

"OK"

 

"So."

 

Sarah snuggled in. "Well you see......"

 

 

 

THE END

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