Left Holding the Baby, Auntie Sarah to the rescue.
I always look forward to a day at home, when I can quietly get on with the troublesome domestic chores like going to the supermarket or cleaning the house, so Having resigned myself to this fate I answered the phone with a heavy sigh to be greeted by my friend Sara.
Hi she began, Sarah I'm in a fix and need your help,Thoughts of Alibis sprang to mind.
However it could have sounded innocent enough, my car is at the garage and I need to go to get the baby some shoes,if your free and heading to town can I have a lift.In a nanosecond the thoughts of a good deed to be done involving retail therapy convinced me to park the vacuum cleaner in the cupboard and put on my makeup. I'll be over in 15 minutes,make it 30 I excitedly called into the handset.See you later acknowledged Sara. I needed to get a pair of strappy sandals to go with a new dress so I thought changed from my jeans and pulled on a skirt. A little while later I pulled up at Sara's hose and my dream of retail therapy slowed up a little as her Baby was thrust into the car with attendant seat,puschair and bag containing diapers and stuff. Strapping herself into the passenger seat Sara turned to me and laughed,clearly the new Sandals could be seen dissapearing past my eyes.
We arrived at the shopping centre and the pushcahir assembled,into it and onto it were slung bags and finally the baby was strapped in. Previously on these trips I have pushed the infants in the chair as a sign of friendship to my long suffering Pal. We entered the first shoe shop and the baby's feet measured, but nothing suitable was spied. Eacgh time I spied a pair of shoes to try myself the baby cried much to everyones amusement around us as Sara did a good impersonation of the baby being mine and not hers. Finally with a new pair of shoes for the baby and myself we decided to head of for a coffee and feed the baby.It was then that disaster struck.Sara had left her purse on the counter and needed to ehad back and get it,leaving me and Baby to muddle along on our own. I thought I should walk up and down till I spied an shop i wanted to go in but it was always closed when I passed through.As I browsed the rails and picked out a lovely red lacy Bra the baby threw its bottle at me.A stout woman near me said to her companion, After being caught with a baby you think she would have more sense than wearing that sort of thing. As they peered across at me I examined a suspender belt for the fun of it. As the two women turned away the baby chucked its bottle at me hitting a rail of scanty but expensive Lingerie. Can I help Madam, inquired a pleasant sounding assistant. Oh I'm sorry I replied can't think what gets into him. The assistant confided she had three small boys and they were just as bad.I hastily bought my Bra and headed to the door to catch Sara. As she couldn't be seen I thought I should retrace my steps and wind up back at the shop where she thoughtshe had lost her purse.
Finding the shop I found her and told her about the bottle incident as red faced she held her purse tightly to her chest.
We decided to cut our losses and get the coffee in a local store . seated with the baby on my knees whilst Sara fed him, she spied a bag hanging on the pushchair and pulled out my new bra, wow she said really pretty, I will have to get one , mind you it would be a amgnet for my husband. Wandering hands or what. Ilaughed and told her about the comments of the women in the shop.I turned pale and said they are behind you now,so Sara piped up, You will have him all over you love, Gosh if your not pregnant again I'll become a nun.
I felt sure that I heard a dropping of a tea tray.The trouble was I laughed so much that the baby and I were shaking.
For the rest of the time we were in the cafeteria I could barely contain myself as the dissaproving Matron andher pal stared at us.
As we turned to go I said to Sara,You ought to have a go a pushing the Buggy as you should get some practice in.We continued to giggle tillwe reached the car and started of for home.
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