After his visit he wrote to me and in it asked me to put the following thoughts on my web pages, as a comment on the difficulties and the reality of coming to terms with being the parent of a Trans-gendered child, My father writes very much from the heart and I’m sure it will strike a chord with many of you reading this page.

Dear Reader, After many years of being estranged from Sarah,This summer we had the opportunity to meet up,courtesy of my well meaning Sister. When I arrived at my sisters home I enjoyed the usual family banter and conversation till my eyes wandered around the room, a well attired young woman had her back to me and was engaged in conversation with my niece.At her side a man stood listening and holding a wine glass.A pleasant scene I thought,My sister took me over and told me of someone I should meet In the seconds before our eyes met and we focused on one another I saw a happy smiling young woman at ease with herself and her surroundings. This is Sarah Jane, my sister said,adding go on talk she's a real cutie and in town for a few days. Yes, we did talk this young woman with her fine clothes and smile was my child.Not the sad and despite a professional career a troubled and depressed young person I last saw those years ago.So clearly at a terrible time in lifes journey but now a personable lady in the prime of her career,with a smart young man at her side. We decided to talk on our own and made our way to the verandah,her life was fascinating and clearly very happy,as we talked it struck me how like her late Mother she is. Sarah has many of her qualities,interest in fashion,helping others and always busy home making. After our meeting I checked out the condition known as Gender dysphoria,like me it seemed in my questions to friends in the Medical world and in the huge resources on the internet that I had overlooked so many childhood patterns in Sarah's behaviour her interests and pursuits.I also realised that what she questioned to me years ago is a thoughtwhich is, why can a parent forgive their child for commiting heinous crimes,first degree murder even but not for putting right one of natures wrongs such as this condition. Since that Summers day I have spent some time with Sarah,listened to her experiences,learnt my human frailities and now I am very proud of my Daughter. I have learned about suicide rates amongst the transgendered,of social exclusion and fear of rejection much of which starts in the home. So if like me you are a parent I hope you can come to terms with this condition and get that special bond back on track. Thank you for reading this J Tompkins October 2002