Emotions

By Sarah

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As she rushed into the foyer, she could see Holden waiting for her. She laid her purse on the table and walked into the living room. The tension stretched across the distance between them. He stood as she entered. Holden's face was a somber mask.

"Hi, Holden."

"Where have you been at this hour?" He asked not even bothering to hide his suspicions.

Lily stiffened at his question and narrowed her eyes. "I had some errands to run."

"Errands…did those errands include seeing Simon Frasier?"

Lily glared at him. "And what if they did?"

"I don't understand you. The guy lies to you for months, then practically kidnaps you yet you can't stay away from him. Why is that?" Holden demanded.

Lily closed her eyes trying to gather her thoughts. "I don't expect you to understand. And for the record, Simon did not kidnap me. Simon carried my unconscious body from the hotel as his lunatic of a sister was taking shots at us. He carried me all the way to the train, then took care of me when I was sick. He saved my life, Holden, and I saved his when Celia forced us to jump from the plane. Then we were forced to live together for months on a deserted island. Can you understand that those circumstances have caused us to form a bond? "

"A bond? What else happened when the two of you were all alone together?"

Lily lifted her hands to her temples as if trying to relieve a pounding headache. She flung her hands from her in a gesture of frustration and disbelief. "I cannot believe that you are standing there accusing me of……only God knows what! Especially, when you were here playing house with Rose the entire time totally unaware that this showgirl from Atlantic City was not me! You act like the wounded party in all of this when truth be told, it's me who should be firing questions at you! This is totally unbelievable. And to answer your question…..nothing happened between Simon and me on that island. Nothing! Do you want to know why?"

Holden stared at her in anticipation and nodded slightly at her question.

"Because Simon is far more noble than anyone gives him credit. He is much stronger than I am. You see, if it were up to me, I would have given up on ever getting back here long ago. But Simon….Simon wouldn’t let me give up. Do you understand what I'm saying to you? I did not give up!" She cried out, then gasped as she pushed the emotions down that were bubbling up in her throat. "It was you who gave up on us."

"I never gave up on us. Never!"

The tears ran unheeded down Lily's face. "Then how could you not know, Holden? How could you not know that it wasn't me in this house?"

Lily did not give him the chance to answer as she ran out of the room. Holden stood very still as he watched her go. He was a man full of inner conflicts. A single tear slid slowly down his cheek.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rose looked at the other people in the diner. They barely noticed her as she sat alone in the booth. Her life had fallen apart, and it was all for nothing. Holden would not talk to her. She and Lily could not talk to each other. Life in Atlantic City looked really good right now. Sure she could run, but she had unfinished business, and she could not leave until it was settled.

Lucinda slowly walked into the diner. She needed her coffee, and she needed it now. She walked up to the counter and did not bother waiting on the waitress to ask for her order.

"Give me a coffee to go," she demanded, then stood to wait.

She turned her head slightly and her spirits lifted for a moment when she saw Lily sitting alone. Her perceptive eyes, however, soon realized that it was not Lily at all but the imposter. Lucinda forgot about the coffee as she strode across the diner toward Rose.

Rose looked up as a shadow fell across the table. She felt her heart sink as she looked into Lucinda Walsh's eyes. It never got any better. Lucinda still made her feel like nothing.

"Hello, Rose."

"Good morning, Ms. Walsh. I didn't expect to see you here."

Lucinda sat down without an invitation. "Why not? I always stop by here."

Rose shrugged. "It just doesn't seem like your scene. That's all."

Lucinda narrowed her eyes as she looked at Rose. She reached across the table and touched Rose's chin. Rose leaned away from her, looking at her in confusion.

"What is wrong? Where did those dark circles come from?" Lucinda asked.

Rose continued in her state of confusion as she watched Lucinda's face for signs of an ulterior motive. "I don't know."

"Are you eating?"

"Here and there. I do all right."

"You cannot lie to me, Rose. Do you need a doctor?"

Rose would never understand this woman. One moment she was ranting and raving at her, but the next she acted like she cared.

"No. I mean…..why are you acting so concerned?"

Lucinda sniffed. "You underestimate me, Rose."

"What? I remind you of Lily so you have some false concern for me?"

Lucinda leveled her gaze on Rose. "It is not quite as simple as you make it out to be, darling. Yes, some part of me has compassion for you because you look like my daughter. I know that your appearance is only part of it, though. The connection between you and Lily is far more than appearances. That connection is something that I have a great deal of interest in. I am not as cold as you think, Rose. I do have genuine concern for you. Now, answer my question. Do you need a doctor?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Julia placed her fingers on her pounding temples as she sat heavily in the booth. The diner was crowded with people since it was early morning and people were grabbing breakfast before going to work. Julia leaned her elbows on the table and buried her head in her hands. Drowning her sorrows had become a nightly ritual and the horrid hangover was now a daily event.

It was easier to drown her problems in alcohol than to face a daily myriad of them all. The memories played over and over in her head then haunted her dreams at night. Right now it was easier to forget in her own way than deal with them. Seeing Jack around town was hard enough. Running into Carly was even worse. She tried to avoid it, but it invariably happened.

Julia looked at the waitresses who were very busy with the other customers. She hoped that it would not be long, because she wanted to get out of here before either Jack or Carly showed up. Since the diner was across from the police station, anything was possible.

Simon walked in and surveyed the crowd for a seat. He was wearing a burgundy long sleeved shirt and black pants. There were no seats to be found. He started to walk toward the counter to place his order to go when he spotted her. He sized the situation up quickly before walking toward her. Simon leaned down close to her ear and said as loudly as he could without drawing the attention of everyone else in the restaurant, "Good morning. Need some coffee?"

Julia jumped and glared at Simon angrily. He smiled in response and sat down opposite her.

"I don't recall asking you to join me."

Simon's smile widened. "It was implied."

The waitress chose that moment to come to the table. "Would you like your tea to go, Simon?"

"Actually, I think I'll drink it here this morning, Faye. And bring me one of those Danishes, too. Oh and some coffee for my friend."

Faye smiled and went off to get their order.

Julia continued to glare at him. "Tea? And I'm not your friend."

"Tsk, tsk, Julia, are you always so irritable in the morning? Tea is much more sophisticated than coffee, don't you think?"

"Why are you sitting here?"

Simon looked around. "This was the only seat left, and it was your lucky day."

"Lucky me."

"So tell me. Did it work?"

Julia shook her head in confusion. "Did what work?"

"Getting drunk. Did it drive all those demons away? Push all those bad memories out of your head? Mend your broken heart? Or did it just succeed in numbing them for a moment so that you could wake up like this?"

"I don't need you playing junior psychiatrist," she told him as she started gathering her things.

Simon grabbed her hand. "It didn't help at all. Quit trying to run away, Julia. It only postpones the inevitable."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lily sat at the kitchen table with Luke on one side and Faith in her lap. She had gone over to Emma's early to get them. They were finishing breakfast before she sent Luke off to school. That would leave the rest of the day for her and Faith. She could not wait.

"Luke, are you ready for school?"

"Sure, Mommy, will you be here when I get back?"

Lily hated the fear that she still saw in Luke's eyes. It was the fear that she would disappear again. Although it was difficult to admit, she was glad that Rose had been there as a mother figure for the kids while she had been gone.

"Honey, I will be here every day from now on."

"Okay, just checking," he responded with a toothy grin.

Lily smiled widely in response. This was exactly what she needed. She got up and placed Faith on her hip.

"Come on. Let's get out there for the school bus."

As they started to walk out of the kitchen, Holden walked in. Lily averted her eyes.

"Daddy!" Luke said with excitement.

"Good morning, Luke. Are you ready for school, buddy?" Holden asked as he knelt beside him.

"Yeah, we were just going to wait on the bus."

"You were? Don't let me keep you. Have a good day."

Luke nodded. Lily attempted to pass Holden, but he stepped in front of her forcing Lily to look him in the eye. He leaned in and kissed Faith on the cheek.

"Good morning, Faith. How's my little girl?" He asked as he reached to take her from Lily.

Lily held on tight and as Holden attempted to kiss her, she leaned away. He looked at her in confusion as she pulled Faith away from him and walked out of the kitchen. He sighed deeply and watched as she walked away.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rose searched Lucinda's face still trying to find the reason behind her concern. She would hate to play poker with her. She finally shook her head.

"I don't know if I need a doctor or not. I haven't been feeling good, but it could be a million things. "

Lucinda narrowed her eyes and whipped out her cell phone. "Bring the car around. I'll give you instructions when you get here. Move it."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm making sure that you get the medical attention that you need and some care. Until further notice, you will be living with me."

Rose shook her head. "No. No way will that work."

"I didn't ask, Rose. I’m telling you. Until things are straightened out around here, you are staying where someone can keep an eye on you."

Rose raised her hands to her temples in a confused gesture. "Why are you doing this? Why do you care?"

"I want to know who you are, Rose. And I won't stop until I find out."

Rose continued to look on in confusion.

~~~~~~~~~~

Julia glared at Simon.

"I think I've had enough of you for today," Julia spat and started to leave.

"The truth hurts, doesn't it?"

"Listen, I don't know why you think that you have been given the right to analyze my every emotion. I can get this abuse somewhere else."

"I'll take that as a 'yes'."

"You're impossible!" Julia lamented and stood.

"I have been told that from time to time. I'm right, though, and you know it."

"I'm leaving. Thanks for the coffee," she replied and swept passed him.

"You're welcome," he told her over his shoulder.

Julia paused for a moment before striding out the door. Simon shook his head and smiled.

Simon threw some money on the table, and turned to leave. He saw a familiar face across the room. For a moment, he thought it was Lily, but upon closer scrutiny, he knew that he was looking at Rose D'Angelo.

"It's amazing that I can spot the imposter across a crowded room, but Holden can't tell the difference when he's living with the woman," he said under his breath.

Simon started to walk out the door, but then he recognized the back of the person Rose was sitting with. With a small smile on his face, he walked to their table. Rose's eyes widened as Simon approached the table.

"Good morning, Ms. Walsh," Simon greeted. "And how are you……Rose?"

Lucinda looked up at Simon with raised eyebrows. She smiled at his hesitation. "Good morning, Mr. Frasier. My, my, you are looking very energetic this morning."

Simon's smile widened. "There's just something about working for you that invigorates me," he responded in an overly enthusiastic manner.

Lucinda laughed out loud and shook her head. "Then get to it. If you're this full of it, I can't wait to see what you come up with today."

Simon nodded catching Lucinda's barb. He enjoyed sparring with her, and she knew it. She never backed down from a challenge, and he admired that about her.

"Rose, it's been a long time. "

"Not nearly long enough," she retorted.

Simon nodded. "I couldn't agree more."

"If it weren't for you and your demented sister, I'd be on Easy Street right now without a care in the world. Instead I'm stuck here trying to clean up this train wreck."

"If it weren't for me, you would still be thinking that diamond was a piece of worthless glass. Believe me, you're not the only one wishing it were here right now."

"While I find this conversation extremely interesting, I have work to do, and Rose, you have somewhere to go," Lucinda reminded her.

Rose tore her eyes from Simon. "Yes, I do. Wonderful seeing you again, Simon. Always a pleasure," she said sarcastically.

"Charmed," Simon said with a snarl. "Don't call me. I'll call you."

Lucinda looked back and forth between the two of them, the rolled her eyes. "Go to your corners," she spat. "Come along, Rose."

Rose and Lucinda walked out of the diner together. Simon watched with curiosity as both Lucinda and Rose climbed into Lucinda's limousine and drove away.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lily walked to the kitchen to find Faith's doll. She stopped when she saw Holden sitting at the table. Without a word, she walked to the chair where Faith had sat earlier and picked the doll up from the floor. As she leaned up, Holden grabbed her arm. She responded by giving him an icy glare and jerked away.

"Lily, we've got to talk about this sometime."

"Not now. I'm spending the day with Faith," she told him and turned away.

"Good. I'll take the day off and we'll spend the day together. Just the three of us."

Lily turned back to him. "Don't bother. Go to work, Holden. I've got a lot of time to make up with my children. I want some time alone with Faith."

"When are we going to talk about this? When are we going to work through this?"

"I don't know, but I'm not doing it right now."

"Why are you shutting me out?"

Lily swallowed hard before she spoke. "Because you shut me out months ago."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Simon walked in the side door to Jake's office. Jake was working on the computer and had his back to the door. Simon paused briefly and knocked gently on the door. Jake spun around.

"What have you got?" Jake asked without preamble.

Simon walked to him and laid the ad on his desk. "This is for the new pet store."

Jake nodded. "Looks good," he said and pushed it aside. "I've got a new assignment for you. It's a bit of a challenge. I figure you for the kind of guy who likes a challenge."

Simon looked at Jake suspiciously. He had already picked up on Jake's sense of humor and flair for the dramatic so this made him slightly uneasy. "You know me so well," Simon replied with raised eyebrows.

"I'm a people person. What can I say?"

"A lot," Simon mumbled.

"What did you say?" Jake asked.

Simon smiled and asked. "What have you got?"

"We're having a little difficulty with one of our advertisers. She's not very pleased with the response to her ads."

"You wouldn't be talking about Mrs. Berger, would you?"

Jake's eyes widened and he smiled slightly. "So you've heard about Mrs. Berger?"

"Jake, everyone who works for any newspaper in this town has heard about Mrs. Berger."

"I was hoping that you might smooth some things over with her. You know throw a few of your ideas at her and get us back in her good graces."

"I am neither in sales nor marketing. Remember?"

"Yeah, but…."

"But everyone else has tried and been unsuccessful. It's not my job. I won't do it."

Jake shook his head. "That's really too bad, because that wasn't a request where you get to say 'yes' or 'no'. As your boss, I'm telling you that you have an appointment with Mrs. Berger this afternoon."

"No way! Jake, come on. What am I going to do that no one else has?"

"You'll figure something out."

Simon rolled his eyes. "This is bloody unbelievable."

Jake nodded. "That's the breaks, mate."

"Am I interrupting something?"

Both Simon and Jake turned toward the door. Lily stood in the portal with Faith on her hip. Lily smiled when both men turned to her.

Simon took a step toward her and said, "Absolutely nothing. What brings you by?"

"Good to see you, Lily."

"Thanks, Jake," she responded and turned to Simon. "Would it be possible to take Simon away from here for a little while?"

Jake looked back and forth between the two of them with raised eyebrows. "Sure. It's lunchtime, isn't it? Just as long as Simon is back for his meeting this afternoon."

Simon shot a look at Jake.

"Shall we go, then?" Lily asked.

Simon put his hand on her shoulder and they left together. Jake looked on with interest. After they were out of earshot he said, "I have a feeling that things are about to get very interesting."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Rose tugged at her red shirt and sat in a chair beside the doctor's examining table. She snarled her nose in distaste recalling the examination. She hated doctors. It did not matter who they were or how nice.

The nurse walked back into the room, and smiled warmly at Rose. "The doctor will meet with you in his office. Come with me, Miss D'Angelo."

Rose nodded and followed the nurse out the door. "Might as well hear the bad news now."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Simon and Lily walked through the park. Simon held Faith on one hip and carried a blanket under his arm. Lily had a picnic basket in her hands.

"This looks like a good spot," Lily said and took the blanket from Simon.

Simon knelt on the ground with Faith still in his arms and helped Lily smooth the blanket.

"This is the perfect day for a picnic," Simon said and squeezed Faith to him. She smiled in response. Her eyes danced with happiness though she did not say a word.

"You're really good with her. She likes you a lot."

"Well, I like Faith. She's my favorite companion when I have the craving for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

Lily smiled. "I'm glad you came with us today."

"I was a bit surprised when you came in the office."

Lily shrugged. "I wanted to spend the day with Faith and try to make up for some lost time. We were on the way here for our picnic, and I thought about you. Before I knew it I was standing in Jake's office."

Simon sat on the blanket and reached for the picnic basket as Lily sat beside him. Faith wiggled between them and played with her doll.

"So you had the trimmings for a picnic and you thought of me. I guess it was all that time we spent living off the land, huh?"

"Something like that."

Simon took her hand. "It was a very nice surprise, Lily. Thank you."

Lily squeezed his hand. "Don’t be thanking me yet. You haven't seen what I cooked."

"I'm sure it will be perfect," he assured her with a softness in his voice. "What is troubling you, Lily? Tell me."

Lily looked away, trying to push the feelings bubbling up within her aside. "It's nothing."

Simon touched her chin, lifting her eyes to his. "You know that you can't lie to me. You can tell me anything."

Lily's eyes sparkled with unshed tears. "It's not the same, Simon. Nothing is the same."

Simon watched her struggle for a moment before he gathered her into his arms. He stroked her hair and hugged her tightly. Lily buried her face in his shoulder letting her emotions take over. When she finally lifted her face to look at Simon, their lips hovered a breath apart.

Rose walked through the park on her way from the doctor's office. She needed time to think. Her head was spinning with so many things. She paused on the sidewalk blinking her eyes several times at the scene before her. Suddenly everything that had confused her became clear. All the fears that had been building flew away, and she knew exactly what she had to do.