Date: Thu, 13 Mar 1997 23:28:08 +0000 From: Joe Light Subject: SRU Quickie: Exchanges, But No Refunds This story contains no tranformations as such, but I hope you will find it entertaining anyway. At least it is short. :> SRU: Exchanges, But No Refunds There are few lonelier times for a single man than the holidays, except maybe birthdays. If you are like me and your birthday is in late December, it's doubly hard. Add in that this was birthday number 40 and, well you get the idea. I was doing what little Christmas shopping I needed to do, when I spotted the "Spells R Us" store in the mall. I always liked magic and such so I wandered in. "Merry Christmas, Joseph," said the shopkeeper, rising up from behind a counter. "Oh, and Happy Birthday too, I believe." "Soon," I said. "But how did you..." "Knowing my customers is how I stay in business," he replied. "That, and knowing just what they need." He disappeared under the counter again. "Ah, here we are. You'll like this I think. Only 5 dollars. Just be sure to follow the simple directions on the package." It was a candle for a birthday cake. It seemed an odd thing, but somehow I trusted this old fellow so I bought it. Outside the store I read the instructions. "This candle will allow you to trade lives with any other person born on the same day as you. Simply place it on your cake and light it. Then name the person you wish to trade with and blow out the candle. You will retain all of your memories and knowledge while gaining all of theirs. They will have your knowledge and memories, but no knowledge of their previous life." Yeah right, I thought. Nice joke. But then I figured, what the hell. Can't hurt to try it. So I researched my birthday on the internet for matches. My search ended with Celia Sterling, a 22 year old actress who just finished her first major movie. Young, famous, sexy and yes female, but I figured if I was gonna have a new life, it might as well be as new as I could make it. Two days later it was my birthday, and I nervously placed the candle on a cake I'd bought at the local market. I lit it. "Celia Sterling," I said, closed my eyes and blew. All was still. Slowly I opened my eyes and....Nothing. I was still me. I guess I should have known better, but the old man seemed so sincere. On my next trip to the mall I stopped in at "Spells R Us". The old man seemed unsurprised to see me so soon. "Your candle didn't work," I told him. "Didn't it?" he said with a slight smile. "I'm afraid I can't take it back. And besides," his smile got wider,"there's always next year."