Date: Sat, 09 Nov 1996 03:07:31 -0800 From: Bruce Leach Subject: SRU: Birthday Wishes Sorry about the problem with the header last time. Anyone who responded before, I would really like to have those sent to me again if possible. I hope to master e-mail befor I die. Here is a quickie I thought of at my friend's birthday party. It is for the list, the archive, and anyone else who feels like posting it (provided you acknowledge the humble author of course) Spell R'Us: Birthday Wishes By: Bruce Leach "I think I have just what you are looking for." said the old man as he rummaged behind his desk. "Great. So I just put this potion in my wife's drink and mine and my wife will never wear those sexy clothes in public again?" the customer replied. "I am quite sure that SHE will never wear those clothes again" "Thank you very much." The old man had to laugh as the customer went home to his new life as the wife of the household. His fellow magicians wondered why he never got bored by these petty pranks; heck, even he wondered sometimes. However, no matter how many cheerleaders he created, no matter how many guys turned horses grazed in the fields, it just never got tired. It gave him joy every time. Really his only regret was that he had changed so many people. His reputation had started to get around and he was getting fewer and fewer customers. If he hadn't have set up his shop in a mall he would have had to go out of business long ago. Fortunately malls attract just the sort of buffoons he needed. The old man turned to close up the shop just in time to see the imp appear. Others would be scared but he knew that this was just how mages sent mail. "Message sir. A birthday greeting from the Lady Mage Rowena" The old man went over and took the message allowing the imp to depart. Looking at it he noticed his friend and rival Rowena's "R" seal and opened the message. Greetings! I have heard that you have been busy lately so I thought I would send a message instead of coming in person. Your jokes have become quite the legend here in the council. Some don't appreciate the humor but I think they are just fab! Enclosed is a small spell to help you celebrate your birthday and all the joy of the past year. Your Friend Rowena "I had almost forgotten it was my birthday!" the old man muttered to his large watch dog. "Good old Rowena. She has played a few pranks in her time too. I am glad she's there to defend me from the council." The old man looked down at the enclosed spell which bore the inscription: TO ALLOW YOU TO RE-LIVE YOUR GREATEST PRANKS He smiled. Rowena was a master of time and space magic; this would probably allow him to feel those same moments of joy again. She had done this once before for a friend of his He calmly invoked the spell. Suddenly he was a frat boy invoking a spell to become a beautiful blond bimbo. He felt unable to stop himself as he went down and answered the ringing doorbell only to find himself and some riends. What happened next could be considered a strange form of masturbation. It went on and on. He became a juvenile delinquent girl who got younger and younger, he became a football player turned cheerleader, he became a guard dog/wolf thing; every prank he had pulled over the last year repeated itself with him as the victim. And as Rowena laughed somehow she knew she had not heard the last of this. P.S. Anyone who wants to get revenge for the old man on Rowena go ahead. I have left it open for anyone who cares.