In the darkening dockyard, the stealthy sloop Dangerous is being prepared to launch. Three shadowed figures stand near the helm, though golden decorations glitter as the sun approaches the edge of the horizon. The disappearing sunlight reveals three British Naval Captains, Harry �Dreadnought� Foster, Captain Charles �Black Charlie� Hammond, and �Dockyard� Harvey, all who are impatient to attend important society functions at Admiralty House.

HAMMOND - Roars Next!

Aboard comes another anxious Midshipman, who is revealed as Horatio Hornblower of the Indefatigable. He pauses to observe the Captains, who behave as though they are in pursuit of prize ships. As they remained ignorant of his arrival, Horatio clears his throat for attention.

FOSTER - Observes Horatio and sneers Well, if it isn't Pellew's young upstart.

HORATIO - Salutes Uh, good evening, sirs.

FOSTER - Rolls his eyes This isn't a garden party, man. Now on with it!

HAMMOND - Bellows Your certificates!

HORATIO - His mouth twitches Er, here, sir. Surrenders his certificates of exemplary achievement to Hammond, who scowls as he reads the material

FOSTER - Grins as Horatio Well, Midshipman, who are you?

HORATIO - Furrows You should know! Pauses as Captains grimace Horn-horn-blower. Horatio Hornblower, sirs. Act-acting Lieutenant of His Majesty's-

HAMMOND - Grumbles We all know Pellew's ship. Bellows Now, Mister Nose-blower-

HORATIO - It's Hornblower, sir.

HAMMOND - Whatever. Rolls his eyes So, you're here to get your Helmsman�s License, eh?

HORATIO - Nods Yes, sirs.

FOSTER - Reads certificates Looks like you've had quite the experience in a battle or two.

HORATIO - Smiles Yes, sirs.

FOSTER - Glances at Horatio Practice makes a good officer, if the man is good in the first place. Nudges Hammond with elbow Right, Charlie?

HAMMOND - Quite. Coughs Now, you've steered under Captain Pillow on the Indigestible-

HORATIO - Breaths deep Sir, it's Pellew of Indefat-

HAMOND - Grimaces Fat? You dare to call me fat?

HORATIO - Frightened No, sir. But I-

FOSTER - Bellows How do you make a larboard turn?

HORATIO - Blinks What?

FOSTER - Now, what about a starboard turn?

HORATIO - Shakes head One does not turn-

HAMMOND - Roars Time's up!

HORATIO - No disrespect, sirs, but I had no opportunity to answer.

HAMMOND - Shrugs his shoulders while he smiles Too bad. So sad.

FOSTER - Grins Hmm, and I thought you had quicker wits about you.

HORATIO - Sirs-

HARVEY - Chipper as he awakes from standing nap Ah, is it the hour for tea time to commence yet, gentlemen?

FOSTER - Go back to sleep, Harvey.

HARVEY - Claps his hands Oh, but a cup of tea would be most splendid, would it not indeed be gentlemen? Giggles It would quite, pardon my language, hit the spot! It would be like we were all back at Whitehall.

FOSTER - Growls It's night, Harvey.

HARVEY - Flustered Well, do wake me up for morning tea, sirs. Resumes nap position

HORATIO - Cautious Sirs, why doesn't Captain Harvey ask me questions?

HAMMOND - Grumbles He's just the dead weight on committees.

FOSTER - Grins Hmm, I always thought that it was someone else.

HAMMOND - Aghast I take offense!

FOSTER - Raises his eyebrows Rather than defense?

HORATIO - Sirs, I-

FOSTER - Scowls What're you looking at lad?

HORNBLOWER - Wide-eyed as Foster glowers at him Nothing, sir. Absolutely nothing.

HAMMOND - Bellows What kind of answer is that to give a superior, Mister Nose-blower?

HORATIO - Anxious It's, uh, incomprehensible, sir.

HAMMOND - Narrows his eyes Are you insulting me?

HORATIO - Retreats from overshadowing Hammond No, sir. I never would do-

FOSTER - Snatches hold of the arm of the retreating Horatio, redirecting his person nearer the helm We don't have all night. Points at helm Start steering this ship, lad!

HORATIO - Grasps hold of the helm with one hand, while he salutes with the other Aye aye, Captains!

HAMMOND - Roars I can't hear you!

HORATIO - Shouts Aye aye, Captains!

HAMMOND - Sings with gusto Oh, who lives in a locker under the sea?

FOSTER - The skeleton of Davy Jonesy!

HAMMOND - Sings with greater enthusiasm Who is yellow and porous with history?

FOSTER - Chuckles The teeth of Black Charlie!

HAMMOND - Growls What?

FOSTER - You heard me.

HORATIO - Sirs-

HAMMOND - Stomps his feet I challenge you to a duel!

FOSTER - And I accept!

HORATIO - Screams Sirs!

HAMMOND - Rolls his eyes as he puts hands on his hips* What now, Nose-blower?

HORATIO - Points to the starboard A fireship off the starboard bow!

FOSTER - Rolls his eyes Not again.

The Captains and Horatio observe the fireship, burning bright against the darkened sky. Foster and Hammond both attempt to commandeer the helm, but Horatio has control in his grasp as they glower at him.

HAMMOND - Proudly We�ll go to Calypso.

FOSTER - No, to Dreadnought!

HAMMOND - Scowls My ship!

FOSTER - Grimaces No, mine!

HORATIO - Sighs Damn impudence, sirs! Shouts We're going toward Indy.

HAMMOND - Shocked Are you mad?

FOSTER - Smirks He�s made a good choice! Slaps Horatio on back Now on with it lad!

HAMMOND - No Midshipman is steering me into battle. Good day, gentlemen! Plummets into the murky water

HARVEY - Blinks Oh, candlelight! Giggles Oh, how verily pretty! It would be better with some tea and crumpets-

FOSTER - Pushes Harvey overboard Shove off, you fop!

HORATIO - Gasps He'll be dead weight in the water!

FOSTER - Oh, he'll just use Hammond as a flotation device.

HAMMOND - Yells from below I heard that!

FOSTER - Now, lad, stop that fireship!

HORATIO - Aye aye, Captain!

Horatio steers toward the fireship, displaying ability more suitable to sea encrusted barnacles. Foster grins at the concentration and determination of Horatio, who directs the ship without the need to be criticized like most Midshipmen. As Dangerous intersects with the burning hulk of the larger vessel, flames span over the bow distracting Horatio with their crimson and orange intensity. He loses his aggressive grip on the helm, turning it some degrees in the wrong direction with the aft portion being crushed. As Horatio realizes what has occurred, fire begins to consume the much smaller vessel he once commanded

FOSTER - Aghast My God. You crashed into her!

HORATIO - Shocked Yes, but it-it saved the-the Indy.

FOSTER - Now, into the water!

Horatio is snatched by his coattails by Foster as the fire approaches them, plummeting into the sea. Foster follows Horatio, with flames reaching out overhead, as he dives toward the waving water beside the Midshipman.

FOSTER - Do you know how many pounds this will cost His Majesty?

HORATIO - Indignant But men's lives have been saved!

FOSTER - Smiles I do hope you have shipwreck insurance.

HORATIO - Frowns with eyes downcast I fear I could not afford it, sir.

FOSTER - Well, here's a secret. Whispers while grinning Get shipwreck insurance through Decko. They'll save you a bundle!

HORATIO - Uh, thank you, sir.

FOSTER - You still fail, you know. Laughs Don't worry lad, that's a very promising start!

HORATIO - Thank you again, sir.

FOSTER - Angry Now where's Hammond?

HORATIO - Excited as he points toward approaching ship Look leeward!

FOSTER - Sneers The bloody Calypso.

Foster and Horatio go aboard, with the crew of the Calypso gawking at the nemesis of their Captain as he swaggers onto deck. Hammond and Harvey observe him from the quarterdeck, as the Midshipman struts in his shadow.

HAMMOND - Hollers Foster! I'm saving your sorry carcass for our duel tomorrow!

FOSTER - Sneers That's the sweetest thing you've ever done!

HARVEY - Giggles Oh, splendid! Claps his hands Duels are so exciting, but it best not interrupt high tea-

HORATIO - Thank you, Captain Hammond.

HAMMOND - Ha! You failed, Nose-blower. All your heroics, and you're still unlicensed.

HORATIO - It's Hornblower.

HAMMOND - Whatever! Bellows Nephews!

HORATIO - That's a rather odd name.

FOSTER - No, it's Hammond's jackass nephews.

HAMMOND - Boys!

Onto the officer infested quarterdeck come three midshipmen of varying ages, all with vague resemblances to Hammond.

NEPHEWS - Salute Hammond Aye aye, Uncle?

HORATIO - Whispers to Foster These are officers in the Navy?

NEPHEWS - Bellow We take offense, sir!

HAMMOND - Scoffs Black Jack, Jack Black, and Jack Sprat. What do you say?

NEPHEWS - We challenge you to a duel!

HORATIO - I-I am afraid I must decline, due to, uh, Captain Pellew's orders.

HAMMOND - Grins But Pellew's not here, is he?

PELLEW - Yells I am now, sirs!

HORATIO - Ecstatic as his ship swiftly approaches, prepared to open fire The Bloody Indy!

PELLEW - Bellows from his quarterdeck Return my Midshipman or I will open fire!

HAMMOND - You're bluffing!

FOSTER - You're bloating!

HAMMOND - You'll be sorry, Foster.

FOSTER - At least I don't put the Ham in Hammond!

HAMMOND - We�ll, at least my brother doesn�t make the worst beer from England to Australia!

FOSTER - You-

NEPHEWS - Panic He's getting away!

Foster, Hammond, and the Hammond Nephews observe Horatio plummet into the murky waters, with his form splashing water onto the faces of his observers. He swims with skill toward the Indefatigable where the crew cheers his escape from the Calypso and Black Charlie.

HAMMOND - Wipes his wet face with lace handkerchief That damn Nose-blower! Bellows out to sea I'll get you, and Captain Pellew too! You'll see! He laughs maniacally, causing panic among his own crew.