Barnacle Man, Barnacle Man
Doing the things a lieutenant can
Under the watch of Crumpet Man
Barnacle Man
Barnacle Man, Barnacle Man
Barking out sailing commands
At super surly deckhands
Barnacle Man
Crumpet Man, Crumpet Man
Sniggering like a stagehand
As Barnacle Man reprimands
Crumpet Man
Crumpet Man, Crumpet Man
Grumbling about the Iceman
Down by the capstan
Crumpet Man
Barnacle Man, Barnacle Man
Eavesdropping on mutiny plans
To overthrow the captain
Barnacle Man
Barnacle Man, Barnacle Man
Halting those that are underhand
To enlist in dangerous plan
Barnacle Man
Crumpet Man, Crumpet Man
Grinning at gruff Iceman
As he melts under eye scans
Crumpet Man
Crumpet Man, Crumpet Man
Snogging the stunned Barnacle Man
So he will not misunderstand
Crumpet Man
Barnacle Man, Barnacle Man
Groping grinning Crumpet Man
Before issuing maneuver demands
Barnacle Man
Crumpet Man, Crumpet Man
Stripping clothes off Barnacle Man
To smooch his hardened span
Crumpet Man
Hornblower Man, Hornblower Man
Disrupting rough lieutenant plans
To contend three men are grand
Lying in the Jamaican sand
For this his libido demands
Hornblower Man
Hornblower Man, Hornblower Man
Deposing insane Captain Man
With insidious scheming plans
Delaying return to dryland
To enjoy pleasureful plans
Touching crumbly Crumpet Man
And stroking sweaty Barnacle Man
Before docking at Kingston
Because he is now Captain Man
Hornblower Man