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Jokes

Saying the Right Thing 

Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glas of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. 

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. 'Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you.' So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating Marty asks, 'Son, what happened last night?' His son says, 'Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door.' Confused, Marty asks, 'So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?' His son replies, 'Oh that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, 'Lady, leave me alone, I'm married!'

Arz Kiya Hai 

Kehte hain ki ISHQ main neend ud jaati hai 
Koi humse bhi ishq kare 
Khambhaqat neend bahut aati hai 

Kar diya izhare-ishq hamne telephone par, 
laakh rupaye ki bat thi, 
do rupaye main ho gayee (wah wah) 


Pyaar ke jaam ko aise na piyo ke 
Adha piya aur adha chod diya 
Yaron yeh pyaar hai pyaar 
Nahin koi Vim Bar 
Jo thoda sa lagaya aur bas ho gaya.......!! 

Aur bhi cheezain bahut see lut chuki hain dil ke saath 
Ye bataya dooston ne ishq furmane ke baad; 
Is liye kamre ki ek ek cheez "check" karta hoon main 
"Ek tere aane se pehle, ek tere jaane ke baad"(wah-wah) 


Log ishq karte hain, 
Bade shor ke saath. 
Humne bhi kiya, 
Bade zor ke saath. 
Magar ab karenge, 
Thoda gaur ke saath. 
Kyonki kal usko dekha, 
Kisi aur ke saath. 


Aansun se palke bhigo leta hoon 
Yaad teri aati hai to ro leta hoon 
Socha ki bhula doon tujhe magar, 
Har baar faisla badal deta hoon 


Zindagi Hai To Khwaab Hai 
Khwaab Hai To Manzilein Hai 
Manzilein Hai To Fasaley Hai 
Fasaley Hai To Rastey Hai 
Rastay Hai To Mushkilein Hai 
Mushkilein Hai To Hausla Hai 
Hausla Hai To Vishawas Hai 
Vishvas hai to Paisa hai 
Paisa hai to Shohrat hai 
Shohrat hai to Izzat Hai 
Izzat hai to Ladki hai 
Ladki hai to Tension hai 
Tension hai to Concern hai 
Concern hai to a Khayaal hai 
Khayaal hai to Khwaab hai 
Khawab hai to Growth hai 
Growth hai to Zindagi hai 
Zindagi hai to khwaab hai 
Matlab duniya Gol Gol hai 
Bas ghumnewala chahiye...... 

Applying this to our project 

Requirements hai to design hai 
Design hai to Development hai 
Development hai to Testing hai 
Testing hai to Defects hai 
Defects hai to Fixing hai 
Fixing hai to More Defects hai 
More Defects hai to CCN hai 
CCN hai to Analysis hai 
Analysis hai to Requirements hai 
Requirements hai to Design hai 
Design hai to Development hai 
Matlab Project Gol Gol hai 
Bus ghumnewala chahiye... 


Dark were those days, without your sight. 
When I was in darkness, you gave me light. 
You gave me strength 2 make life bright. 
Thank you so much PHILIPS TUBELIGHT 


Khuda se Scooter manga.. Car di; 
Apartment manga.. bangla diya; 
dost manga to tumhain diya.. 
Khuda ne is bar aisa zulm kyoun kia 


When I C the moon I C U 
When I C the stars I C U 
When I C the Sea I C U 
Get out of the way you are blocking my view.