To a group of three late teenagers:

"Where would you like to go overseas?"

(one of them) "Germany"

"Do you know where Germany is?"

"hmmmmm... I think it's near Europe...."

"Can you point to it on a map?"

(after looking at the map for sometime) "Maybe here?" (points to the Democratic Republic of Congo)

Cut across 10+ people/couples asked to identify photo of Kofi Annan (just the better ones):

"Eddie Murphy?"

"Ah! Mohammed Ali!"

"Hmmm... Denzel Washington?"

"Puff Daddy?"

"Samuel L. Jackson, right?"

(Un)fortunately this lack of knowledge about the rest of the world (and, in many cases, pride in their own ignorance) does not extend to languages. Japanese people all know how important it is for them to learn English - they just won't accept that this can't be done by the Japanese way (rote learning from a text book without any assistance from native speakers). I recall a happyoukai (presentation evening) during my last stay in Japan where a whole lot of young people performed a play of "The Emperor's New Clothes", a story which I know quite well. I got a huge shock about an hour into the play when my host mother asked what I thought of the performers' English - until that point, I had thought that they were speaking in Mandarin.

Later on I met my host mother's brother-in-law, a high school English teacher. He had never been outside Japan, but said he had read a few foreign novels. As he explained to me (in.........sneeeeeeeeru..............peeeeeeeesu..........Inugurish), "Nowadays all these important literary works have been translated into Japanese anyway, so there isn't really any need for us to learn English at all, or even travel outside Japan". I hope that not all teachers share this astounding level of open-mindedness.

This time in Japan, I visited a university English class, where not one of the thirty students spoke a word of English over the whole two hour period (see Report 1 - The Arrival" for more details). As a result of this inspirational education style, all Japanese people under the age of 30 (i.e. those having been at school since English study from Year 8 became mandatory) are constantly thinking of their English studies - in fact, their concern is re-triggered by the sight of anyone not Japanese. Of course, they wouldn't actually try to talk to a foreigner (a relief to me, of course), but I could always hear my presence (e.g. on crowded trains) spark off conversations (in Japanese, naturally) about how someone "really must study English harder". The problem is that however "hard" they study, these people aren't learning English, but rather their own language of Ingurish. Everyone under the age of 30 speaks some Ingurish, but few can speak English. Go into a cafe and ask the teenage waitress for "a ham sandwich and a coffee please" and all you'll get is a blank look, but ask "Eeeeee...... Pureez....... eeeeee hamu.... sandoitchi.......eeeeee.....ando.......eeeee....koohiiiiiii....... senk yooo." and she'll understand you perfectly.

The main factor which (in my opinion) makes it difficult for Japanese people to appreciate other cultures is their need to divide things mentally into categories of Japanese or foreign, maintaining a constant sense of "Us/Ours" and "Them/Theirs". My boss explained to me for half an hour over lunch one day how fried dumplings (eaten throughout China, Korea and parts of South East Asia) were "Japanizu", but boiled dumplings (also eaten throughout China, Korea and parts of South East Asia) were "notto Japanizu". He was tremendously offended when I asked what the Japanese name for the tapioca (sago) we were eating for dessert was - "No, no! No Japanizu name! Zisu notto Japanizu fuudo."

Many might be surprised to hear that the ubiquitous Ramen soup noodles (quite popular in Western countries) are not considered Japanese either. This dish was introduced to Japan several centuries ago from China, where it is known as La mian ("stretchy noodles" from the way they are made). As a result, the name is still written in Katakana, the separate script reserved for words of foreign origin to retain the purity of the Japanese language. Thus Ramen, along with Karee-raisu (Curry and rice, supposedly (snigger) an Indian dish, but don't get me started on that) is one of the favourite "foreign" foods in Japan, but if you have tasted the real La mian from a roadside eatery in Sichuan you'll know that there is far more corruption in the flavour than the pronunciation. My Japanese friends never understood why I would laugh at restaurant signs which offered Wafuu Ramen ("Japanese style Ramen") - a perfect tautology if ever there were one.

But by far the biggest surprise to most Westerners would be that Karate is not actually considered Japanese - it came from the Ryukyu Islands (around Okinawa) at the time when these were Japanese colonies but not part of the country proper. As a result, Karate is taught in private classes, but not included in the school PE curriculum (contrary to popular Western supposition). Instead, high school students are given only the choice of Judo or Kendo (which, due to their solid "Japaneseness", bear a relative class status to Karate similar to that of fencing as compared to boxing in the West - you'll find very few Japanese CEOs, professors and politicians who practise Karate, but many do Judo or Kendo).

Even distinctions based on ethnicity go further than might be expected. I saw two female models in a magazine described as examples of "Eastern" and "Western" beauty. Both looked 100% Japanese, but one had a single parent from the Dominican Republic, so in spite of her strongly Asian features she represented the "foreign" side of the spectrum. One of the (four) singers of a trendy girl-band was half-American by birth, though raised in Japan. When they performed, she dressed herself head to toe in the stars and stripes, from red and white shoes up to a blue spangled bandana, to acknowledge her "foreignness" to the audience

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