Supervisor Seno asks me to explain how the accident occurred. I explain as best I can in Japanese. Seno explains what happened to Section Chief Hayashi and Technician Morita. Section Chief Hayashi explains what happened to Director Maeda. Section Chief Hayashi and Technician Morita ask me, in turn, to explain again what happened for clarification. I explain twice more. Section Chief Hayashi explains again to Director Maeda what happened. Director Maeda asks me to explain again for clarification. I explain again.
18. Two police cars arrive. Apparently Thursday nights are fairly slow in Youkaichi, so about 5 police have turned up just for something to do. Each policeman, in turn, asks me to explain the circumstances of the accident. I explain. They turn to Director Maeda and Section Chief Hayashi for clarification.*** Several hundred explanations, interpretations and reinterpretations later***
We end up at the hospital. I limp in for various scans and X-rays etc. By now i have taken off my shoes and put them back on about 5 times - off for the stretcher in the ambulance, but on to walk out of the ambulance , then off for the X-ray scanning bed, then on for consultations with doctors, etc etc etc. I knew that I should have brought slip ons. I wonder if in a real emergency, e.g. the collapse of a building, the ambulance officers wait while the victim strains their one functioning arm to take off the shoe on their one remaining foot before allowing them to lie on the strecher and be carried off? An interesting thought...
I end up talking to Dr Nakamura, a doddery old bloke who insists on speaking in very slow English. He spreads out my CT (brain) scans for me to see all the lovely patterns inside my own head.
Dr Nakamura: "Pureez.... rukku.......... Iffu........... weeeeee.......... seeeeeeee...... gureeeeeeee(grey).......... eriaaaaa(area),.......... zennnnnnn............ maybeee............. youuuuu........... habu(have)............. eeeehhhhhhhh............. bureeeeen(brain).................. damiji......... maybe......... ehhhhhh...... Ah! nooo........ PARHAPUS........... you......... doooooo...... notto........ ehhhhhh...... Ah! you........ CAN............ notto.......... use.............. ehhhhhhhh........ arm.......... or........ PARHAPS......... notto......... use......... leggu................ If........ zea(there)........... izu............. greeee............ eriaaaaaa....... zen............ you.......... ahhhhhhhh........... ehhhh........ nantoka, nantoka........... Ah! PARALYSED!....... you.......... willll...... be........ paralysed.................."
This just gets better all the time, I think.
"But!", he announces, "Aiiii........... cannnnn........... notto............ sheeeeeeeee........... ennniiiiiiiii......... ovu............. zis......... greeee........... eria
.......... sooooooo......... maybeeee.......... you........... are................ OK!
The next day I have to go to make a statement at the local police station. Miss Okachi - the company president's PA, who was really sweet - came all the way from Osaka by public transport (about 2.5 hours worth of not particularly comfortable travel) to help sort things out (much appreciated - however much i whinge, i wouldn't want to seem ungrateful to the people who really did go out of their way to help me). Anyway, we sit in the police station for a while, where they have a bit of a collage happening - every time there is a really nasty car smash (and i mean REALLY nasty, like the car reduced to a quarter of its original size) they take heaps of happy snaps and paste them all over the walls of the police station to deter would be reckless drivers. For the population in the surrounding area, they certainly seem to have had a lot of car accidents - or maybe that's where all the other people went?
Anyway, we go through the whole explanation to the friendly policeman as he sits there blowing huge clouds of smoke in my face (Don't these guys ever stop? Is this a government sponsored initiative to combat the expected growth of the aged population, i.e. by ensuring that fewer of them make it that far?). He reads my statement back to me and it sounds okay, so i make to sign it.
Cue hissing intake of breath which Japanese use to avoid actually saying "no".
He brings out a black ink pad. I have to validate my statement by making a big black thumbprint at the bottom (I wanted to get some nice mug shots done too, but they wouldn't let me). Surely this must cause trouble if no one can accept the validity of a western signature? Does everyone without a "hanko" (official seal) have to go through this or is it just because I am not only a foreigner but a wakamono (young person) as well, and thus from one of the least respected segments of Japanese society (barring only the physically/mentally retarded or female). Any Japanese with a common surname (e.g. Honda, Suzuki, Tanaka etc) can buy a hanko at virtually any newsagent for about Y2500 ($30) without showing any ID to confirm that this is really their name, so are they really kidding themselves that their method is any more secure?