Friday, July 30, 2004
I have added a Poem that I wrote some time ago, when the feelings were still raw and emotions were high.
In actual fact I could easily have written it today, my feelings are still raw, and my emotions can still be high.
I will never get over this completely, I know it, because I know me, Nobody has ever hurt me as badly as Paul has.
Maybe I am naive to think that when you find someone and put all your trust and time into them, they should never hurt you so much that you can't imagine trusting again. I don't know if I will be able to, I don't have the energy to look for anyone.
posted by
8:52 PM
posted by
8:52 PM
Thursday, July 22, 2004
The start of me putting my feelings down in writing,
it makes me nervous for some reason, I got used to being open in my OCD Diary
and found it relatively easy, but this feels different somehow, maybe because I was so trusting with my thoughts before, and then found that "he" had been reading them. Maybe It will be hard to trust again.
"Trust" is a small word but it has HUGE meaning and repercussions. I put ALL my trust into someone once, was reliant and dependant on that person, I needed to believe that what they said was true not just in a personal context but also because my illness depended on it. If some things were a lie, then everything was a lie. I desperately needed to feel my "Trust" in that person was justified and that he wouldn't let me down. Boy did I misjudge that!!
posted by 6:00 PM
Hi and welcome to my space!
posted by 4:47 PM
