| The Comedy Of Childhood |
| Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw the pictures on the bulletin board of the "Ten Most Wanted" men. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it was really the photo of a wanted person. "Yes", said the policeman. "The detectives want him very badly." So little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?" |
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| Great Truths About Life That Children Have Learned: 1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. 3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. 4. Never ask your 3 year old brother to hold a tomato. 5. You can't trust dogs to watch your food. 6. Reading what people write on desks can teach you alot. 7. Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. 8. Puppies still have bad breath, even after eating a tic-tac. 9. Never hold a Dust Buster and a cat at the same time. 10. School lunches stick to the wall. 11. You can't hide a piece of broccolli in a glass of milk. 12. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. 13. The best place to be when you're sad is grandpa's lap. |
| A little girl walked daily to and from school. Though the weather one morning was questionable and clouds were forming, she made her daily trek to the elementary school. As the day progressed, the winds whipped up, accompanied by thunder and lightning. The mother of the little girl worried that her daughter would be frightened as she walked home from school. Following the roar of the thunder, lightning would cut through the sky like a flaming sword. The mother feared that the electrical storm might harm her child. And so the mother got into her car and drove along the route to her child's school. Soon she saw her daughter walking along. At each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look up, and smile. One flash followed another, and with each the little girl stopped, looked at the streak of light and smiled. Finally, the mother called her daughter over to the car and asked, "What are you doing?" The child answered, "God keeps taking pictures of me." |
| There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at Tim's Grocery Store. The owner Tim doesn't know what Junior's problem is, but the boys like to tease him. They say he is two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles shy of a barrel. To prove it, sometimes they offer Junior his choice between a nickel and a dime. He always takes the nickel, they say, because it's bigger. One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, Tim got him off to one side and said, "Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?" Junior said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd quit doing it!" |