Promise (on 16th Nov, 2000 by Sandy Lo)

Have you ever been aware of the times you make promises? How many times are those promises realized? Or are they just empty ones? Hey, wait, "What is a promise?" you may ask. (We are like scientists in that we always ask for a definition of something)

According to Collins Cobuild English Dictionary (1995, UK), a promise is "a statement what you make to someone in which you say that you will definitely do something or give them something (p. 1317); in the Oxford Minidictionary (1991. third edition. New York), a promise is "declaration that one will give or do or not do a certain thing." (p.408) So, if some people say to you, "I'll call you later," "I promise I'll never do it again," they're trying to tell you that they will call you (if they've got time), that they won't do something again. Note the word "definitely" in the Collin's definition. Making a promise like the above doesn't mean that something must happen in the future (No one knows what is going to happen, right?). And, of course it is often not official, not binding (you won't be sentenced to death or life imprisonment if you don't do what you've promised. But maybe you have to be responsible for some consequences). It is just used to give the recipient of the promise a sense of security or confidence. "Definitely" is used to emphasize the strength of your promise.

Swear is a word with a similar meaning to promise, but swear is stronger than promise in the sense that it is solemn and more serious, say, when you are the bride or bridegroom in a wedding. (Note, it is funny that swear can also be mean someone uses language that is considered to be rude or offensive!)

Sometimes a promise may become kind of obligation for people like me who try not to let people down. If I promise someone I'll do something , I'll do my best to avoid eating my words. However, I may feel guilty if I really don't do what I have promised to, but on the other hand, I find it as though I realize my promise out of obligation. So, I'm afraid to make a promise.

I do not believe in promises either. Maybe I lack confidence in people (& myself). When you are promised something, you will have expectations. If the promise is not realized and you still keep the promise deeply in your heart, you'll feel disappointed. In this moden society, time is very precious and people are too busy to remember every promise they have made. I'm not saying that they won't do what they have promised. It's just that the probability of failure to carry out a promise is much higher nowadays. (How many times have you forgotten your promises?)

But human beings are always contradictory. I don't believe in promises but I like getting a promise from people. Maybe I just don't expect too much of a promise. Promises give us hope (something may happen), a sense of security and happiness. No wonder many women ask their partners to promise them they will love them FOREVER and there is a song with lyrics like "Promise me, you wait for me...". Some companies like to say in their advert "we promise..." to give their customers senses of security and confidence.

Will you think twice next time when you make a promise? ^0^

This part was last updated on 16th Nov, 2000.

Copyright(c) 2000 - Sandy Lo has the "property rights" of this homepage. All rights reserved.