| ARCHIVE 5.24.03 citadel i went to citadel today. muchas fun. bought 3 shirts and 2 bags from old navy. 1 shirt from beneton. afterwards i wen to china town to go to kaitlins birthday party. food was good. me and joanna were the only teenagers there. i need a massage. im special.. sergio linked me! 5.23.03 stolen potato chips tard.. lol its turd. chlly stole my chips today. he and troy were eating them in business. i just bought it too. i took the sit up test today. it was a miracle. i got the maximum... 75. dang. lol. if ur reading this.. i dont know why u are. if u go to hoover.. go to the LAST BLAST DANCE @ the quad on June 13. if ur a girl and u dont wanna go cuz ur dateless just go by urself. Trust me, its not that bad. It dont make u a loser. lol. Im not going out of time this long weekend. just stay home or at the mall. Im looking forward to KiKN. Kick it at Kuya Noel's! I cant wait for camp! 5.22.03 funny day Today was a funny day. In biology we checked eached others blood pressures. I had low blood pressure thankfully. Katie Norkus was my partner for the lab. When working with Katie you are bound to have a good time. While she was trying to find my blood pressure, she accidentaly broke the stethoscope. lol. it was really funny. if u dont think its funny i guess u just had to be there. I had an interesting convo with miguel today. the weirdest and scariest person in the world is ara. the second weirdest is alfred. the world is turning upside down. im getting an A in both english and math. weird. This girl in my pe class was all freaked out today over an ant. She claimed it was having a heart attack. i attempted to clean my room today. not very successful. im funny. 5.21.03 "interesting stuff. you should know" its hot outside... like u didnt notice.i feel like im in the philippines. i was sticky and wet the whole day. yucky. i watched the season finales of the Gilmore Girls and Smallville. The Gilmore Girls finale met my expectations, but i thought the Smallville finale was disappointing. i wanna watch that new show "The O'Keefes". Lol. That one guy was like 'At my house we have an indoor bathtub. My dad doesnt do to bad.' to some girls in a hot tub. In another commercial he uses "HEY JLO" as a pickup line. haha. After Smallville i watched the news. Turns out Wacko Jacko... micheal jackson... went to a congressman wearing a spiderman mask demanding that more taco bells be opened. What the heck is up with this guy. weirdo. and in a survey concerning teenagers today it was kinda shocking that most kids think oral sex (dont giggle.. be a grownup) isnt sex. NEWSFLASH TO YOU TEENAGERS: IF U GIVE HEAD, YOU AINT NO VIRGIN. IF SOMEONE GAVE U HEAD, YOU AINT NO VIRGIN. DUH! Thats all for now. 5.20.03 prayer works i was so blessed to find out that Marie accepted God. Ive been praying for her for quite some time. Shes such a good person and im glad i'll see her in heaven! this far in my life, shes the closest thing to a miracle ive seen. i wanna see another miracle dagnabit! 5.14.03 im sick. so ill finish the website. btw.. the may angel is from the angelic network.. 5.10.03 *new layout* finished Today i spent a hour doing my nails.Then i spent two hours destroying them. I scrubbed my kitchen clean on my hands and knees. I cleaned the sink, the floor, the stove, the walls, the refridgerator, the dishwasher,and the cupboards. See. Im not the princess u think i am. 4.27.03 "my poem" a spurious smile upon my face. a damaged girl in need of a wam embrace. be my hero and come rescue me. take me away from my reality. i need your help. please come soon. i hate my world. its filled with doom. just try to be me just for one day. please come and rescue me sometime today. 4.23.03 "day" i went to cheer practice today. spanky pants and short shorts have a way of making me feel extremely fat. i really sucked as a flyer today. imagine like 20 girls watching u up there and screwing up 50 bazillion times. its not as easy as it looks.. and its turning out that im not as "coordinated" as i thought. i get nervous of being watched instead of flying. i fell again today but im not hurt. i need prayer.. so that ill get better and not waste peoples time. i hope i get my bouncing right tomorrow. ~im not as much of the~ ~cheerleader type as~ ~everyone thought~ 4.16.03 "okay" (written during third period) i think im okay now. im not as happy as usual but thats life. im really tired physically and mentally. i need another spring break. im starting cheer practice today. im a little scared but its all good. if ya go to hoover and ur 17 or over please sign up to donate blood. last night i saw the 2nd and 23rd batallion on tv. thats tito billy's marines. i couldnt find him tho. did anyone see him? 4.12.03 "see i told u" see. i told u. no one cares. im fine now. no more craziness for now. but NO THANKS TO YOU. wutever happened to those of you who say you will always be there. ur gone. distracted. more absorbed. im sounding whiny but u kno wut? i dont need u either. 4.9.03. again my friends dont need me anymore. im just second best. when you go online who is the first person you talk to? not me. last person? still not me. thanks for forgetting me. your doing fine without me. you have someone else. i dont have anyone. my friends dont need me anymore. and its true. dont lie. you know its true. stop acting nice. i see its fake. my friends dont need me. you dont need me. no one needs me. dont pity me. seriously. dont pity me. my freinds dont need me anymore. 4.9.03 tormented rage im tormented. i think im a schkitzo (sorry bout the spelling). i argue with myself. im sick of trying to figure out what is wrong and what is right. im sick of always doing what i am told. im sick of being forced to do things. im sick of the constant nagging i face on a daily basis. im sick of being overprotected and kept in a glass container that cant be surpassed, for fear the container will shatter. life is boring. i cant stand it anymore. i always get nagged. i feel like i have nothing to live for. nothing in my life feels stable i know God is here but i just dont feel him. i want to disappear. i want to be demolished. i want to do bad things but i torment myself. my consience overthrows my rage, which causes my rage to strenghten. my world is crumbling down before me. i getting back to my state of depression. i want to die. i feel like im dying a slow dragging death, like knives are slowly stabbing me, being stabbed again, and again and again. i want to pull my hair out. i want to turn goth. i wanna never speak a word again. i want to cry till i run out of tears. the above might sound ridiculous to you but then you arent me. im tired of being judged. im tired of caring what other people think. i want to speak my mind. i want to yell back at my parents. i want to get into fights. i want to runaway and scare the heck out of the world. i want to shock you all. i want to never smile again. i want to sleep under my bed. i want to be dirty and uncivilized. i want to cross boundaries. i want to regret writing this entry. i want to cause you to have goosebumps. i want to make you angry, so angry that you feel what i feel. i feel like im being attacked and that i need to be rescued but no one will come. im not having fun anymore. my life feels useless. i feel that if i died tonight you wont even remember me tommorrow. i need to be rescued. help me. i think im going crazy. im serious. help me. 4.9.03 bored is it just me or is vacation is turning really boring? i was really bored today. i decided i wanted to change the layout but my scanner wouldnt scan the pictures that i wanted. i went to old navy today to buy a swim suit. yuck. all looked bad on me. too skimpy! 4.7.03 vacation, all i ever wanted my family and i went on vacation this past sunday and mondau with the llamas family at the marine camp, Camp Pendelton. it was really fun. we went bowling, watched daredevil, and we went to the beach. good old family time. soo relaxing. girl talk was fun too. i want to change my layout soon. 4.4.03 cheerleader like omg! im like a cheerleader. scurry. jv. lol. congrats to those who made it. 3.24.03 cheer tryouts today was the first day of cheer tryouts. it wasnt too bad actually. i just have a problem remembering some parts of the cheer and the dance. i had fun tho, even tho i didnt kno anyone. oh welps nalang. pray that i will make varsity or jv cheer. i really want to make it! *Cant u just see my and my perkiness being a cheerleader(i hope that made sense)?* "dork" 3.20.03 haha. im a dork. yesterday i hit my eye putting heathers headphones on my head. today i was putting my backpack on the floor in my biology class and my backpack was hanging from my head. my hair got caught in the zipper. did i mention my backpack is like 20 pounds? and then when i was putting down the phone after talking to my mom i whacked my head and my eye with the phone. accidentaly. that happened at like 4. now... 8:20 pm, i still feel it. dork! "war has begun" 6:50 p.m. pacific time 3.19.03 war has begun. just a few seconds ago. my family and immediately had a family prayer. my mom was crying. a lot. i dont like it when my mom crys. i hope war is over soon. we should continually pray for the troops, especially forBILLY LLAMAS, hannahs dad. stay strong hannah. no matter what happens God will take care of your dad and your family. God will not leave u nor forsake you. have faith. i pray for peace. saddam hussien is a a poophead that seriously needs God. "ding dong head" 3.18.03 X2 i cant believe you broke ur ankle stepping on a hockey puck jed. ur such a dork/ ding dong head. dont worry. i still like you very plenty. "no title" 3.18.o3 hoy. i dont really got anything to say today xcept for props to heather for her xanga. its cutie patootie. like wrapping paper. click here to visit. "cactus cooler can" 3.14.03 i woke up this morning at 7:30. i was wiped out from the party last night. i went to bed at 1:20 last night. dont ask me why. today was interesting. i amazingly got my math hw done before 6th period. at lunch some friends of troy were kicking around a cactus cooler can that had a condom around it. i dont kno if they put the thingy on or they found it like that. i gave troy a "wut the heck" look and he just shrugged. i told heather and kristine about the can and they told people. one of the guys kicking the can picked it up and threw it up. unfortunately it landed on a teachers car and slid off. i think it scratched the car. lol. hoover guys are so frikijiking weird. ps. i think jamaica should join flag even if mikeal doesnt want her to. pss. dont kill me mikeal. i just think that if it will make her happy she should join. "new layout" 3.7.03 i made a new layout today after going to starsearch and after watching the laker game. isnt it beautyfull? "in trouble with the law" 3.6.03 i left something out yesterday. lol. i got yelled at by a police officer. haha. i accidentaly left my bag out in the locker room instead of locking it up. i got this whole lecture how there's been soo many jackings already and that i was lucky no one stole from me. and some other stuff but i ignored her. big deal i forgot. i got stolen from already anyways. "i dont like himl" 3.5.03 sorry i havent written in a while. way too much stuff going on. first of all i heard my ex said that he dumped me! farthead. i dumped him because i realized i was insane for going out with him. then his mom tells my lola that i left a message on their answering machine saying i was in love with him and that i couldnt eat or sleep because of him. does that sound like me at all? i went out with the boy in june for those of u who dont know. it was the biggest mistake of my life. now many months later, i finally had the courage to tell my lola bout the whole incident. i quote " I dont like him, i dont like him. hes weird. i dont like him, he looks weird. i dont like him talaga." wise words from my lola about the boy. another thing is that ive been getting so many compliments lately. For example, "Sandra you look so dead today." Thanks! and "u should really put ice under your eyes. You have really big bags." Thanks for noticing. lastly, i think i wanna try out for cheer. please pray for me. i need lots of prayers. "computer fast" 2.25.03 i dont kno how but i survived one whole day without my computer. im going to attempt to not use my computer, or at least not the internet for today. life has been okay. ive been really tired lately because of everything thats going on around me. the call really wiped me out. i still havent recovered. lol. im talking like its a virus but in a way it is. i havent fought with my parents or my sister since the call. a lot of stress relief. i am also more relaxed at school. i dont know yet how, but i want to answer god's call. "ear blood" 2.21.03 the mall was so fun. me and heather are so krazy and weird and cheapos. we went to basically every store that sells girl stuff. i bought 4 shirts from red eye. we went to pac sun and heather bought some bracelets. shes an idiot! after she paid she left the bag at the counter. i dont think the counter guy liked her too much. did i mention my ear got volleyball spiked by ani today while we were playing basketball. i was so smart and i wore my hoop earrings. eww.. ear blood. "screwed" 2.21.03 i was panicking so much yesterday. I thought that i was completely screwed. fortunately god loves me my business test got postponed and i was able to print my crap out from the computer lab. im in the computer lab right now. (during 3rd period) (at home) im not screwed. =) "smart one" 2.16.03 today was really fun. i hung out with the ogs, had lots of good times. after begging for an hour, we got tita jean to bring us to the burbank mall to watch daredevil. it was an ok movie, smart one. while waiting for somene to pick us up some weird kid eavesdrops on our convo about where photomakers was and called us smart one since we didnt know where it was and he suppossedly did. we responded smart one, by telling the kid he was intellectually incorrect. pao called him a dofus.. lol. in the end we listened to the kid and got lost. come to think of it, its kinda creepy that that kid knows where that photomakers place is. he is a guy. we got to my house and my room was clean. kristy ann and jonnah cleaned it for me. why? i dont kno. but it was sweet. rite now im putting up the finishing touches on this page. till then.. goodnight smart one. "valentines day sucks" 2.14.03 wow. valentine's day sucks when you have no valentine. i just tried to smile and pretended to be happy. i said wow your boyfriend's so sweet. secretly i thought i need valentine. boys are stupid. i dont feel loved today. lol. dont pity me. |