| 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? 5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? 6. Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? 7. Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? 8. Why do 'tug' boats push their barges? 9. Why sing "Take me out to the ball game" when you're already there? 10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting? 11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"? 12. Doesn't 'expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected? 13. Why are a 'wise man' and a 'wise guy' opposites? 14. Why do 'overlook' and 'oversee' mean opposite things? 15. Why is phonics not spelled the way it sounds? 16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it? 17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? 18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? 20. Why is bra singular and panties plural? 21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead? 22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase? 23. How come abbreviated is such a long word? 24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't they clean when we use them? 25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? |
| Do they have a 4th of July in England? (YES, ALSO A 5th, A 6th, ...) How many birthdays does the average man have? (ONE) Some months have 31 days; how many have 28? (ALL OF THEM) How many outs are there in an inning? (6) Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? (NO, HE'S DEAD) If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?(2) A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half hour. How many minutes would the pills last? (30) A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left? (9) How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark? (MOSES DIDN'T HAVE AN ARK) How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?(12) A plane crashes on the border of the US and Mexico...Where do they bury the survivors? (THEY WOULDN'T BURY THE SURVIVORS!) |
| Things You Would Never Know Without the Movies. -It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting. -A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. -If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps. -Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization -It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. -When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage. |
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