| A state employee A State Government Employee sits in his office and out of boredom, decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. "This would look nice on my mantelpiece," he thinks, so he takes it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. "I wish for an ice cold diet Pepsi right now!" POOF! A Pepsi appears before him on his desk, so he picks it up and guzzles it all at once. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on an island where beautiful nymphomaniacs reside." POOF! Suddenly he is on an island with gorgeous females eyeing him lustfully. He then tells the genie his third and last wish: "I wish I'd never have to work ever again." POOF! He's back in his government office. |
| Top 45 oxymorons 45. Act naturally 44. Found missing 43. Resident alien 42. Advanced BASIC 41. Genuine imitation 40. Airline food 39. Good grief 38. Same difference 37. Almost exactly 36. Government organization 35. Sanitary landfill 34. Alone together 33. Legally drunk 32. Silent scream 31. Living dead 30. Small crowd 29. Business ethics 28. Soft rock 27. Butt Head 26. Military Intelligence 25.Microsoft Works 24. New classic 23. Sweet sorrow 22. Childproof 21. "Now, then ..." 20. Synthetic natural gas 19. Passive aggression 18. Taped live 17. Clearly misunderstood 16. Peace force 15. Extinct Life 14. State worker 13. Computer jock 12. Plastic glasses 11. Terribly pleased 10. Computer security 9. Political science 8. Tight slacks 7. Definite maybe 6. Pretty ugly 5. Twelve-ounce pound cake 4. Diet ice cream 3. Working vacation 2. Sweet child of mine 1. RAP MUSIC |
| One day this old man walks into a store and there at the counter is a young man with green, yellow, blue, and red spiked hair. The young man notices that the old man is staring at him and says, "What�s the matter old man, you never did anything wild when you were young?". The old man answers, "Yes , once when I was young I got drunk and had intercourse with a parrot and I am wondering if you might be one of my offspring." |
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| Ten Things You'll Never Hear From A Southern Boy... "Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen." "You can't feed that to the dog." "I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy." "Trim the fat off that steak." "My fianc�, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's." "Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?" "Duct tape won't fix that." "I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today." "I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad." "Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin'." |