Sandra Hosking, M.F.A.

Playwright, journalist, teacher

Running time - 85 minutes

Genre - Comedy

Setting—Area staging. The present.

 

Characters - 2 Males, 2 Females

 

Sarah - 20s to 30s, a woman

 

Jake - 20s to 30s, her ex, a man

 

Eve - 20s-30s, a genetic scientist, a woman

 

Ty - 20s-30s, Eve’s lover, a man

 

Synopsis: Sarah tries to find a reason to laugh. A romantic comedy with a touch of evolution.

 

 

Dialogue Sample

 

 

3. Coffee Meet-Cute

 

(A coffee shop. SARAH enters with a latte and her laptop and sits at a table containing a newspaper and a used cup. She inspects the cup, then throws it in the trash. She then sits, drinks her coffee, and reads the paper. TY, dressed in a business suit, enters, sees Sarah, pauses, then indicates the newspaper.)

 

ty

Excuse me. Are you reading this?

 

sarah

You really should get a better opening line.

 

ty

Sorry?

 

sarah

Are you reading this? Really. Like I haven’t heard that before.

 

ty

Um, I was just wondering if you were reading sports page.

 

sarah

Right.

 

ty

No, really.

 

sarah

Oh, sure. Sorry, go ahead. Sports page, of course.

 

ty

I’d take real estate if you’re—

 

sarah

Be my guest.

 

ty

Thanks.

 

sarah

You looking for a place?

 

ty

Maybe.

 

sarah

You should check out Olympic Hill. It’s got great apartments. Close to the business district.

 

ty

Thanks.

 

sarah

Or is it a house you’re looking for? Because if—

 

ty

I haven’t decided yet. Thanks.

 

(He starts to leave.)

 

sarah

(under her breath)

I wasn’t interested in you anyway.

 

ty

What?

 

sarah

Have a nice day.

(He sits down at a table across the room and begins to read. She talks to herself.)

I know you think I’m interested, but I’m not. It’s like that song. I’m not in love, so don’t forget it. I’m not. I mean, I just met you. It’s silly. Your eyes aren’t the least bit arresting. I want to be arrested. You know, captivated. Those baby blues don’t do anything for me. This thing. It’s not butterflies. That is so middle school. Butterflies. I believe the word is unsettled. I’m not unsettled. No way. Not by your voice. Very smooth, your voice. You could be a singer, maybe a minister. Ministers always have smooth voices. They set you at ease. Hypnotic … like a phone sex operator. But do phone sex operators wear suits?

(Laughs too loudly.)

Sorry.

(Cell phone rings. She answers.)

Hello? I don’t want to talk to you … because it was ringing. I really don’t want to talk to you. I don’t have anything to say. I think we’ve said all we need to say. God knows your mother said all she wanted to say. Never let me get a word in edgewise. No, nothing more to say … I gave you back your key. I left it on the counter … On the counter by the phone book. It’s there. Look again … LOOK again. I’m going to hang up … I will. … I am. I’m hanging up. Here I go. … I’m doing it. Hanging up. See. Hanging up.

(hangs up)

God.

(pause)

I have no place to live.

(short pause, crosses to Ty)

Um. Are you done with that?

 

ty

Sports?

 

sarah

No, real estate.

 

ty

Not quite.

 

sarah

Sorry, but would you mind?

 

ty

I haven’t read it yet.

 

sarah

I really need to read it. Now. You can have it back when I’m done.

 

ty

All right.

 

(He hands her the section.)

 

sarah

Great. I mean, thank you.

 

ty

Looking for a place?

 

sarah

Yes. It’s sort of sudden.

 

ty

I hear there are great apartments on Olympic Hill.

 

sarah

(laughs nervously)

Yes, I know … Oh. You were kidding. Funny. You’re funny. I’ll get this back to you, I promise.

 

ty

Don’t worry about it.

 

sarah

No, I will. I WILL.

 

ty

Okay.

 

(She goes back to her table and opens the real estate section.)

 

sarah

Roommates wanted.

(A cell phone, hidden under the remaining paper, rings.)

Hey. Somebody. Somebody’s phone is ringing here.

(Looks at the caller ID)

It’s Jill. Jill is calling.

 

ty

I’ll take that.

 

sarah

Oops. It went to voicemail. Sorry.

 

ty

It’s all right. I didn’t realize I’d left it sitting there.

 

(short pause)

 

sarah

Oh God. This was your table. This is your paper. I’m so sorry. I just sat down. I thought—

 

ty

It’s no problem.

 

sarah

Why didn’t you say something?

 

ty

It’s no problem, really. You looked intent.

 

sarah

Did I? Intent? Focused?

 

ty

It wasn’t worth …

 

sarah

It wasn’t?

 

ty

Sometimes things are best left as they are. Not worth the trouble to stir things up, you know.

 

sarah

Yes. Although I seem to attract that kind of trouble. Sitting down at a man’s table without realizing it. Not seeing the obvious. The paper. The phone. It’s just like me.

 

ty

It happens.

 

sarah

Crap. Your coffee. I threw away your coffee. I’m so sorry.

 

ty

Don’t worry about it.

 

 

Synopsis & Dialogue Sample

Creeps