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Sandra Hosking, M.F.A. |
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Playwright, journalist, teacher |
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Trademark |
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Running time - 15 minutes Genre - Comedy Setting—A courtroom. The not-too-distant future.
Characters - 1 Male, 2 Female
Judge - female, 21+, an judge Bob - male, 21+ Fancy - female, 21+, an attorney
Synopsis: Bob Bugle finds out his name has been trademarked by a corporation, which sues him.
Dialogue Sample
fancy My client, Frivolosity Corp., a global leader in—
judge Spare me the aggrandizing, counselor.
fancy Yes, thank you, your honor. Frivolosity asserts that its rights have been violated. We own the trademark to the name, Bob Bugle.
bob I object.
fancy You can’t.
bob I just did.
fancy Your honor.
judge This is not Law & Order. It’s not your turn yet, Mr. Bugle. Please continue, Miss Fancypants.
fancy As I was saying, we believe his continued use of the name will confuse our consumers. And, we would greatly appreciate it if you would issue a cease and desist order immediately barring the defendant from the use of this name.
bob It’s my name.
judge Shush. (to Fancy) Are you also suing for damages?
fancy Yes, your honor. In the amount of five million dollars.
bob That’s insane!
judge (bangs her gavel) Don’t make me give you a time out. (to Fancy) When was this trademark registered?
fancy 1970.
bob That’s before I was born.
judge Bob, is it?
bob Yes.
judge What do you do for a living?
bob Assembly work, odd jobs.
judge How fulfilling that must be. I’ll hear you now.
bob What do you mean?
Judge It’s your turn.
bob Well, uh, your highness. As you so astutely pointed out, my name is Bob Bugle, well, Robert actually. I’ve had the name since birth. My mother and father gave it to me. I’ve used it for everything from Publishers Clearinghouse to my taxes. I even painted it on my mailbox.
fancy You see, your honor. He admits fault.
bob It’s not my fault. My parents gave me this name.
fancy Then I suggest you sue your parents.
bob What?
judge (banging the gavel) Order. Order. The defendant must refrain from speaking to the plaintiff.
bob What about her?
judge Very well, counsel for the plaintiff will only address yours truly.
fancy Yes, your honor. Since the defendant so skillfully proved my point that he has used this name for everything from Publishers Clearinghouse to taxes, I submit that your honor must rule in our favor.
judge Yes, he admits to using the name, but I fail to see how it will confuse your customers.
fancy Well, some of our clients have entered Publishers Clearinghouse.
judge Good point.
bob It is?
judge I’ve never won that contest. I’ve tried and tried.
fancy Don’t you just hate affixing all those stickers?
judge I’m not sure I believe all those people on TV who say they won.
fancy I know, I mean, do you ever see anyone trying to cash one of those giant checks?
judge Come to think of it. I haven’t.
bob That’s because they’re just a prop. Can we get back to my case please?
judge Don’t get your knickers in a twist. Miss Fancypants, do you have any other evidence that your business has been adversely affected by this man’s use of the name, Bob Bugle?
fancy Yes, your honor. I have here a report by the Ludicrous Research Company, in which they surveyed 10 people in this man’s neighborhood. Ninety percent of the sample knew who this man was, but only twenty-three percent knew about Frivolosity Corp. and its Bob Bugle product. Frivolosity takes care to present a wholesome image to the public, and clearly this man’s use of our trademark gives them the wrong impression.
bob I object.
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Synopsis & Dialogue Sample |
