My Podcast - The Dog

So….I’m a dog!
I walk like a dog; run like a dog; and I even bark like a dog.
Yup! It’s a dog’s world! There’s no doubt about it.
Oh! I eat too!...
Like a dog I do!
And…I even lick my bowls clean.

Gosh! Those humans!
They think they know everything!
They force me to sit at the dinner table to eat;
even attempt to teach me how to use the knives and forks;
but I like to use my tongue to lick the bowls.
Who wants to eat like humans anyway?

I’m not happy because I’m being locked up by my mistress.
Whenever I look outside the windows everyday,
I can see all the dogs and the doggies playing out there.
Some even piss on the sidewalks;
and some do their doos-doos on the streets;
and then let their masters pick them up for them. What great fun it is!

I’m not allowed to go out.
My mistress has locked me in this house.
Gosh! What are the humans going to think of next?
Should I even “meow” and pretend I’m a cat
before I’m allowed to go out?
Yeah, perhaps I should speak cat language.

Why…I must tell you that just the other day
I wanted to fetch the slippers,
I sat there and barked at the silly cat,
and that silly cat understood me,
and he fetched me the slippers;
so I figured I must have been speaking cat language.

Also, the other day, my mistress took me to the doctor,
who tried to find out what was wrong with me;
but all he did was to examine me
but could not find anything wrong.

Then my mistress took me to a psychiatrist;
He too had tried to talk to me.
Later, he shook his head and determined that
I was a dog so he could not do anything for me.

Then my mistress took me to a dog psychiatrist.
He looked at me, shook his head,
and said to my mistress,
“Too bad...he’s been pretending to be a dog for so long…
now he thinks he’s really a dog…” *sigh*

Copyright © Sandie May Angel :o)
September 12, 2005

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