[::Sanderlee's Page::]-Updates

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Yeah I just started this section of the site so bare wit me =)

Monday, December 2, 2002

WOW.... I haven't been in here like... for AGES... craziness... I read back to my old entries... (more like the most 'recent' one... June 13)... and it's funny... i still feel that way... but except now... i know WHY i feel that way... a lot has changed since the past 5 or 6 months... it's quite insane... the way i think and see things... the way ppl see me... i thought i knew myself... then something or someone comes along and just changes everything for me.
Then there's school... i'm doing worse than ever... it's unbelievable how much i've changed in my academic life... i don't know why... it's really scary... such a drastic change too... *sigh*... my world is falling apart...
I don't think i'll be updating here anymore... this geocities page is getting a little boring... it's been so long... i do my updates almost daily at my easyjournal account now... sanderlees.easyjournal.com... visit it if you care... heh.... nobody even visits this =P On occasion, or when i'm not busy, i guess i'll update the pictures/keep adding to it... other than that... i think everything will stay the same.. unless one day i'm sooo incredibly bored i decide to update the entire page with a new layout all together... but that's unlikely...
Yep... so that's the end of that... nice while it lasted... (lol.. sounds like i'm dying or something..o_o)..

Thursday, June 13, 2002

WTF is going on??? I feel so... so... confused... I don't know what to think... what to say... what to do... how to react. There is so much going on around me, yet there is NOTHING happening... am I making something out of nothing? Most likely... but why? I can't help it... it's just this overwhelming feeling of... nothing.
I'm feeling rather lonely... maybe that's whats been bothering me... I'm not sure if I feel this way every year around this time... but it seems like everything is coming to an end... everything is crumbling before me and I can't do anything about it... no one can help me.
People everywhere piss me off... and I hate hiding behind a grin - it's unbelievable how nobody can tell how fake and two-faced I am... or perhaps they are just humouring me... eh...
Why am I rambling and complaining in here??? I have no life...
*drowing in my own tears
muffled by my cries
help is within reach
but I choose not to oblige*

Friday, June 7, 2002

I feel like crap... crap crap crap... eh.... i dunno... school's been a real bitch... life's been a real bitch... wtf am gonna do with it? School is out in about a week minus exams... *cries*... i'm gonna miss a lot people. Kipling is going to be scary.... upside? i was asked to join Willy's band there as lead singer. Heh... what a joke... but it'll be fun... maybe i'll be the next Avril Lavigne?... hahaha..
Anyway... i predict this to be any ordinary summer... i mean with my cousin here and all... i don't see how i'll be having much fun.
This school year went by extremely fast... seemed like just yesterday school started... 9/11... christmas and what not... heh... i know that sounds so generic... but it's true. Now... i don't want it to end... only cuz of friends tho... i'll see them less over the summer... *sigh* and really... i'll miss all the familiar faces next year.
I hate how everything is going according to plan... and just when you are beginning to enjoy yourself, or learn more about yourself it comes to an abrupt end. WTF is that??
Also hate.... ARRGGHHHH hate a lot of things right now... i'm so... confused... so... !#@&!&.... i just wanna crawl into my shell and never come out.............

Thursday, May 2, 2002

Hmm... I've been quite cheerful lately... what do I have to be happy for you ask?... well... I'm not sure... it's just that little feeling inside, the feeling you know that everything is going to be alright...
Maybe it's the spring air that is making me feel this way... "the green hope"... green meaning new and beginning... perhaps it's a special someone ^_^
The summer is almost here... just approx. 30 days til i'm outta school... outta MCI... for good. Not the greatest feeling. Just when I begin to establish new friendships... rekindle old ones... things have to change.
Anyhow... I am talking jibberish... like I always am.. cuz no one is ever here to read these entries... only for my personal use... heh...

Thursday, April 4, 2002

Wow... it's been an eternity since I've bothered to touch this page. I think I am my only fan. =( boohoo...
Anyways... I think a lot has changed since the last time I have updated here... and I think I've grown a lot. "Friends come and friends go, but best friends are for life"... I thought I had found my bestfriend, but I guess she decided that I wasn't 'cool' enough. I hate the person she has become.
What can I say? People change, and i'm not a big fan of change... at all!
I was sort of doubting transferring to a different school next year, but now I am more sure, and actually looking forward to this alteration.
Leaving the past behind me... MCI is full of bad memories, and for my last year, not only do I have to make it count, I have to make it memorable and fun!
Yes... I say this... but I know I'm going to be miserable without the familiar faces to share it with.
I wish I had the opportunity to just leave, go search for myself, piece things together... but I don't have the time or money for that matter.
Sometimes I think I'm too nice for my own good. I do things for people, not to want anything in return except a geniune thank you. I am always taken for granted and taken advantage of.
For example, some of my 'friends' called me at like 2 in the morning not too long ago, and asked me to give them a lift because they were stranded somewhere. If you ask me, if they had asked anyone else, all they would've heard was the 'click' of the receiver. I am not close friends with these people, but I drove over and picked them up, because I can't stand the fact of them walking in the cold, and 2 in the morning. They thanked me, but it was so insincere... so like they expect me to be on-call for them 24 hours... like I was expected to rescue them whenever they needed help.
Another friend of mine needed fast cash. I didn't have any money on me, but he looked desperate, so he drove me (like a maniac) home, so I could get him the money, eventually I found out the car was stolen, and he didn't even have his license! Why do I do these things for these people... because I have a soft heart and I just can't turn away knowing they need help, and that *I* was able to help, and decided not to.
So I'm so nice to all these people, I don't pick fights, I don't judge by the cover... So why am I still being treated like crap after I've done so much for these people? If I had ignored their plea for help, they would hate me... I help them, and they are not thankful.
All I ask for is a hug and a thank you... and in other cases, an apology would be nice.
Feeling down... leave me alone... -_-

Tuesday, December 26, 2001

It's funny how the people you barely know... those you probably haven't even met, may have the biggest impact in your life. I just began chatting with someone online... actually I met him on AA for those who know what it is. He's such a mature, genuine guy - not the typical "ASL??" types who are just online to meet girls or online as a different identity. It's refreshing to know that there is still hope yet in humanity, that there is SOME decent people left out there.
Not saying everyone is evil or what not, but come on... just take 30 seconds after this message and think... what is your purpose of being online? To chat with friends, to meet new people, to pick up guys/girls.
My reason is pretty lame. I never intend to meet new ppl - those who know me, know I'm too shy for that... and because I'm shy... that's exactly why I'm online. Because it's easier to express yourself through words... messaging chats such as ICQ and MSN... I can actually think about what to say for a period of time or alter what I didn't like in the message before I hit the "send" button. And if there happens to be awkwardness in the conversation - fine... just stop talking - easy.
Now I find online chat just as difficult to communicate with people as face to face conversations. I'm not a conversationalist... it takes me a while... and I mean A WHILE to get used to you and talking to you. I seem to be abnormally shy =P
Anyways... after only a few short messages back and forth with this guy (his name is Blue by the way - neat eh? and his pic is on my second page of pics), I find that meeting people online isn't so bad - although you can't trust everyone of course so be careful :P
One last thing... try before going to bed each night to reflect... on anything you feel that is important. Life, love, that day... whatever. You'll be surprised of the solutions, the thoughts you may get.
Forgive me... I'm a deep thinker... haha.. some know :P
("did you know that if you hadn't have done that... your future may have been altered?!!?") - inside joke

Sunday, December 23, 2001

Wow... another year has gone by already... where has the time gone?? I just got my G2 yesterday.... I was so happy... after failing the first time. =P Now I can go cruising in my Civic... WhAtWhAt!! Finally the Christmas holidays are here... I've been waiting for this for a loooooong time! and got my license just in time too!! woohoo.. Anyways... want to wish everyone who comes by a very Merry Christmas!! (like anyone comes here anyway =*( heheh.. LaTeZ

Tuesday, November 27, 2001

Yep... I am definitely not going to the Semi this year... for many reasons... So many things have been bothering me lately and so many things I'm doubting... Friendship for example... hold on to the ones you love... cuz you never know when they might leave you.
School is another. Not to sound conceited... but I thought I use to be amazing at school... if not amazing, then definitely above average... now I'm plummeting lower and lower... why is that? I have no one to blame but myself. I am currently at an all time low. I've been such a lazy biatch... always procrastinating, and what do I have to show for it now? Dangerously low marks... and I'm not just SAYING low... they are LLOOWW... not like those friggin smarty pants who thinks an 80 is a fail... but I am actually close to the boarder of fail... or maybe even passed. heh... how ironic... the only thing I've passed is failing =P
This is a dangerous time, because being in grade 11, and for the rest of the students currently involved in the new curriculum, it's HARD... and they (government and Universities) have too high expectations for nothing.
Just great... being born in 1985 is quite dandy... FIRST they cancelled the grade 3 swimming program when *WE* (the ones born in '85) were just going into grade 3... looking forward to the swimming every week. THEN, they cancelled the grade 4 camping trip when *WE* were just going into the 4th grade. THEN!! For the grade 8 grad trip *WE* (From dixon) never got to go to Quebec cuz our school was so damn cheap! (then they started to the year after!)... and NOW!!! They start the new curriculum JUST as we first enter high school!!! WTF is that?!!?!? why do they have to be screwing with the kids of '85??? @%#*@!&!!!

Saturday, October 27, 2001

Wow... another year has gone by and another Semi-formal is approaching... I really dunno if I'll be going this year. I'm not really enjoying this year at the moment... I dunno... just everything has changed... and I HATE change =( I wont' say exactly wat has changed... some know.. and some don't. Anyways... something funny happened to me as well.. not all bad... hahaha.. sorry tho... not gonna say as well... cuz you'd all think i was weird or something!
Anyways.. not much to say... i'm outz til next time *muahz*

Wednesday, August 29, 2001

Damn... summer is over... all over :( Even though most of my summer was spent indoors of a Mcdonald's restaurant, I definitely had an enjoyable one :) How was everyone's? I think this school year is going to go by really fast... wow... grade 11... then another year til graduation. I honestly don't want to grow up. Who knows what's waiting for us in the future?
Well thinking in the present time... IlJin left for Florida a couple of weeks back... I miss him :( ha! I'm so sappy... but I know he misses me too... (right? :P) hahah... jk jk
I can't wait to see all of you back in school... well i would say prefereably NOT school... but what choice do we have? This summer has been great even though it went by so fast... boo...
So how do you like the new intro music? I think i'm going to use it for every page... doesn't it sound so pretty? So sad? It's from a Japanese Drama series called "With Love"... really good series... this song makes me sad... :*(
Well see all of you soon and feel free to browse around the page :)
-Sanderlees

Wednesday, July 25, 2001

Wow... half the summer has flown by already and I haven't even begun to have fun :P Maybe it's the fact that I'm/we're all old enough to realize that time is so precious... that we can't have it back once it's gone... we notice summer is going by a bit faster than it would normally... Being a teenager is such a funny thing... going thru high school and shiet... all the problems... all the stress... but I guess it's fair that we all have to go thru it and get to experience it. I believe the high school years is what makes a person who they are... hmm.. does that make any sense?
High school is so memorable, and I think especially for us at this day in age, where technology is beyond amazing, a new millenium and so on and so forth.
I've made and lost so many friends just this school year, it's mind boggling, but I guess that's just how it is =( It's sad to say that as the first year and the rest of the future highschool students following us lose a year of high school because of the new curriculum... thank you Harris...
Anyways... maybe I'll update once more before school starts again... I can't wait to see everyone again... but the work.. ARGGHHH

Tuesday, June 19, 2001

New pictures in the friends sections... kinda like glamour pic of me Ellen and myself =P haha... Also a couple of pics of Esmond... (hottie... hehe)... Anyways... Exams are over... finally... and school is coming to an end. Wow.. this year went by sooooooooooooo fast... it seemed like it was just yesterday when...... ah nevermind... I predict that this is going to be a boring summer... work work and more work... no one to chill with... =( no one wants me... sigh...
Anyways... what are everyone's plans for the summer? sign my guestbook and tell me alrights? =)
I had a lot to say.... but I can't remember at the moment... so I'll be back... =P

Sunday, June 10, 2001

Summer's almost here ;) *yay* but really... what is there to be happy about? I won't be doing much this summer... =( work work work.. and MAYBE Wonderland... other than that.. I'd rather be in school.. minus the homework of course ;P cuz there are ppl there... I always lose contact with them once the summer begins...
Coupla things that make me sad lately... grr stupid Robbie made me cry =*( he's so mean... damnit all!! But really... hmmm.. what was I gonna say?
Oh yeah... nothing to be happy about... once someone better comes along, you're always ditched... I speak for Robbie and myself...
Hehehe.. so I did the most daring thing I would to meet a guy... err.. well it's not exactly brave... but I've had my eye on this Korean guy at Burhamthorpe (Chinese school) since the second I saw him... OMG he's so gorgeous!... Anyways... I haven't met him yet... but he added me on his ICQ list... hehe I was quite the excited lil school girl :P Yeah I wrote him a note and included my ICQ #... hehe... yeah... I'm quite the immature one... hehe what can I say? I'm guy crazy... so I'll shut up now :P

Friday, April 27, 2001

*Sigh*... once again...
This support staff strike is really beginning to piss me off, damnit! I mean... I gotta admit I'm enjoying this extra free time... but it's technically not suppose to be 'free time'... yea yea... we're suppose to be doing homework... either way... I've done my share of homework... and I've gone out enought times... so it's all good... some surprising moments... some disappointing ones...
I recently tried to call Hassan... an old friend of mine who moved to the States after grade 8 Grad... his line is disconnected... =*( I'm so sad... cuz now I have no idea where he is... I can't mail him, cuz he mighta moved... =( Boo...
Anyways... no more complaining from me =) Go check my [shout outs] section... I changed most of them...

Saturday, April 14, 2001

*Sigh*... I've been hiding so much from everyone lately... and I really don't know what to do. You know that feeling you get when you know you have to do something... you want to... but you can't? That's the feeling I have right now... and for a while... I've been trying to avoid it... like what I do with most things.. and at the end will always regret I didn't jump at the opportunity, and miss out... that always happens to me!! I really hate myself for doing that so often. There's so many things I want to say to many different people, but don't have the courage to. Some not so important, and some extremely important... what can I do? I am already missing out on so much... wasting so much time... ARGGHH!!! so confused... heads in the clouds...

Friday, February 23, 2001

Hello all... wow.. it's been such a long time since I added to the 'Updates' page. How is everyone? and how were your exams? I know I know... it's been like a month... but I still want to know =)
A lot of things have happened since I've updated this page... good and bad... I won't be listing any of these *special* events... but if you really wanna know, just ask =) and I'll decide if you're important enought to know... hehe.. jokes jokes... really you people don't need to ask... cuz some of the stuff is more than obvious. Others were/are such a surprise tho, that you won't believe... muahaha... anyways... Check my Shout outs... I added one for Tom, and changed most of everyone else's...Hmm... ah yes... also posted Tom's pic up as well.. haha.. it's a good one.. check it out... and there's an updated pic of me as well... hehe.. no laughing! =)
I dunno what else... oh yes... SIGN MY GUESTBOOK!!!! it's sooo empty!!! =P That will be all =) hehe...

Tuesday, January 9, 2001

Hey... Happy new year.. new millenium.. no century =) Hope everyone is re-freshed and ready for school again... I'm not =p
Not much updated.. sorry... shoutouts are still the same... hmm.. what else? oh.. anyboddy wanna cheer me up? heh... Guess who's B-Day is coming up soon? dot dot dot... yes.. I'm tlaking to myself now.. I dunno what to write here anymore... I'll be back when I figure it out..

Friday, December 22, 2000

Hey hey everybody =) Finally school is out for the holidays! But then again... this term seemed to have flied by... weird eh?
Well, I seem to be on the depressed side again... don't ask why... ~sigh~ as Bradley calls it, it's 'Paranoia'... =?
I added yet some more shout outs, and i'm going to add more pictures... I'm trying!! I don't have a scanner... relying on other ppl =)
I added a new section to this site, thnx to Connor... check it out... it's pics of me that have been fudged hehe Weird Pics. So how's everyone's holiday so far? I know I know... it's just started... but it doesn't mean you can't tell me about it on the way! Sign my book! it's been deserted for a while =( *boo* Sign Da Book
Well we all deserve this break... a much... MUCH needed break!
Well I wanna wish everyone a very Merry Christmas... keep smiling... hoping to see you all soon...

Monday, December 11, 2000

So I haven't done MUCH updating.. sorry guys.. but i have added a few new shout outs... so if you weren't in it before.. check to see if you are now... and if you're still not... TELL ME!! i'll be glad to add you... considering the fact that I have to know you first of course =)
The {00semi} formal of MCI was held last Friday, and omg let me just say that it was sooo much fun and it was amazing, and the snowfall added to it! it made it so magical - like a fairy tale!! The guys of course all looked like Prince Charming(s) (especially my Jay.. teehee) and the ladies - princesses =)
An Evening DEFINITELY was not enough! I hope everyone had as much fun as i did =)
The Pics i took at the semi are not up yet at this time... but will be shortly *cross your fingers!*

Wednesday, November 8, 2000

wow... it's been a while since i've updated this page...
first off... I've been down with the case of the 'blahs' lately... if you want advice (haha)... an opinion... an answer... pls don't ask me now... you'll get nothing outta me...
Well... i just posted up a new pic in 'mah friends' section... of me and ken!! i changed a lot of the shouttiez, so check that out as well... maybe I updated yours =)
And if you find that there isn't one for you, then tell me alrights? i'll consider if you're important enought to be added =) hehe.. j/k j/k
A bit of the intro page has been page... but don't bother looking in there... just thought you might like to know =)
I guess that's it for now... come back soon for more =)

Saturday, October 21, 2000

Oh man.... my head hurts so much... no... not becuz of... hahaha... and no i never was!!! grrr.. why don't you ppl believe me??? *oww..* i'm gonna stop thinking now... not much new... dunno what to change and what to update... sign my book and help me out okie? thnx =)

Friday, October 6, 2000

I've been in the happiest mood! For many reasons of course... not just one.. *winkwink* to those who think it is =)
First off... most of you know about... ya know... um.. my problem... wit... someone.. =) well... i'm happy about that... but can't say why... well can't say here at least.... let's just say.... i'm EVIL!
Secondly... teeheee.... you ppl might wanna check my 411 section under *status*... ^_* that's all i'm saying... catch my drift? =)

Friday, September 15, 2000

Heyhey... school sux.. is all i can say =)
Anyways... i added new pix... very recent ones so you might want to check the friends section of this page =)
They aren't great pics... but.. meh... what can you do? =)

Tuesday, September 5, 2000

Godamnit!
First day of school today! grrr... (((sigh))) heheh (sorry brad.. NOT biting!)
I have the worst schedule!! no lunches wit Eunice!! godamnit!!! but on the bright side.... no classes wit (ahem).. hehehe.. (okie.. inside joke)
Gotta change outta some of the classes...!!!!!
This doesn't make sense anymore... i'm pretty much talking
to myself.. hehe.. i'm sorry.. =)

Wednesday, August 30, 2000

okie.... I recently tried this... DanceDanceRevolution...(DDR)

What happened?... results?? HAHAHA Like i'm gonna tell you ppl... Let's just say... the bunny is better at it then I am.. =(

Monday, August 28, 2000

Only one week left til school starts again, and I know I said that i wanted to go back, but since there is so little time left of the summer I suddenly change my mind.
Why is it that whenever I'm finally starting to enjoy my summer, there is so little time left?! Godamnit! Well... I DO still wanna go back... but I also wish that there could be just one more week for me to ~rest~ haha... =)
There has been a lot on my mind lately... all sorts of information just coming to me at once... and I can't seem to absorb any of it... so it's just floating around...
So don't be surprised if i seem 'expressionless' when you see me...
Can't wait to see you all again in school...

Sunday, August 13, 2000

Well 3 weeks left until school opens again and it seems as if I'm the ONLY person looking forward to it! I mean... is school really THAT bad?...okie.. don't answer that! But after a whole summer of 'rotting' at home I think it's time to hit the books again... AND I CAN'T WAIT!! Well definitely not for the work... (well okie... a lil) but we need to see our friends too!! Two months ago before we all left we say to each other "We HAVE to hook-up!" But we never do!! I miss everyone!! well not everyone *winkwink* hehehe...
See You All in 3 Weeks!!!

Hey don't forget to sign my book!

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