DISCIPLINE                            11/90

Vine's Expository Dictionary : saving the mind from; admonishing or
   calling to soundness of mind.
Barnhart's Dictionary: training, especially of mind or character;
   trained condition of order and obedience; training that strengthens.

              CASSETTE TAPE:   DISCIPLINE with Authority
             Winning at Parenting without Beating the Kids

     We can't control our children (for long), we need to assert
  positive power in the training process (or end up very frustrated).
Our children need to experience the consequences of their own choices.

        We need to be the Model (of behavior) to our children.

Avoid the Mini-Lectures - ( nagging on the obvious - irritating ).
   Don't use sarcasm, ridicule (I told you so), or embarrass children.
   How often do we say, "Think for yourself!" <But> "Listen to me!" ?

   Speak what is happening especially to younger ones. Don't react.
   Make sure all involved see the situation alike.
   Don't make threats or demands that you won't carry through on.

Consistency is Everything - Don't argue. (Simply repeat your stance)
Discipline - Don't rescue.               (Don't own their problems)
           * Avoid punishing.            (Say it, mean it, do it!)
           - Make the children responsible for their own actions.
           * (Not the severity, but certainty of punishment has effect)

3 Things Children must learn for themselves:
     - I like myself.  (They need lots of hugs, smiles, & humor.)
     - I can think for myself.
        " Not What to Think , but How to Think for themselves."
     - There's no problem that I can't solve.

4 Things Children must experience for themselves:
     - Responsibility
     - Consequences of their own actions/behavior
     - They need to blow it (be allowed to make mistakes, as
            long as they're not morally or life threatening.)
     - 2nd opportunities ( but not 2nd chances )

Identify the Con Jobs our kids will try to pull & {problems resulting}:
     - CON 1   Bargaining, begging, pleading, bribing, playing on
                 our emotions. {low expectations, esteem, ego}
     - CON 2   Comparison, rights, everyone else does - why can't I.
                 {anger, unkind words, hearts hurt vs. the truth}
     - CON 3   Sulking, I won't do it! {we go into a CON 1 - bargaining
                 instead of Holding fast to our 1st decisions/ground}

Brick Wall -   Don't be aggressive              Tape's other topics:
Jelly Fish -   Don't be passive                   Allowance    Chores
Backbone   -   Be  Assertive !                    Bedtime      Mealtime
                   Flexible, yet firm.            Fighting

  Make a list of the parent's and children's responsibilities. Every-
 one is an important part of the family, and as a family each should
 share the responsibilities of the home. Children need dignity and
 respect, and they need to know what the  boundaries are ahead of time.