7/30/03 (5:56 AM):Change
theres a change coming, and with it my paper heart will bleed.
-Q
7/27/03 (5:09 PM):Wallpapers
added wallpaper section...
-Q
7/26/03 (9:57 PM): The Stories i got to tell...
Something Corporate-I kissed a Drunk girl
-Q
7/25/03 (5:44 AM): Brotherhood/Loyalty...
IM A HORRIBLE FREIND...IM SORRY. [i can't help myself]
i dont know why im still waiting i can never have you...im addicted to you
Simple Plan-Addicted
-Q
7/24/03 (3:55 AM):love me?
Sigh, in love:\...i cant even help it right now...but i'll hold it back. EMotions leave me let me be...i dont need love i dont need hate i dont need anything i rather have nothing then have what i feel right now...kinda talked about it with a freind that knows nothing about it nor anyone...she's a UCLA friend...n it feels nice to let it out...i dindt tell her the who's who of the matter but still....i jus wanna yell it out to everyone....but i've jus concluding my love aint meant to be...i guess there is such a thing as falling in love with the wrong one...i never thought it could happen...but i mean she's perfect in everything...everyway...n not perfect like as perfect but perfect as in perfect for me...n well thats all i ever wanted...was someone to be right in everyway in my mind...i dont care if they the biggest fuck up...or the ugliest girl ever...jus as logn as everythign they did was jus right in my mind...sigh...a fool in love is what keeps repeating in my head...over n over like a broken record...all i can think of me being is a fool in love...i mean if i wasnt a fool i would realize the cruel reality of the matter is that she will never like me nor love me...no matter what i do for her or how i treat her...she dont see me in that light...n like in a certian level i've accepted it...but why cant my love accept it...why cant my love jus give up n go away...so maybe i can find someone else...i just dont understand why it holds on to a glimpse of hope...hell the way this is going she'll marry someoen n ill still be in love wit her...i guess it'll take closure for me to move on..i jus gotta tell her one day...but i cant...how can u jus tell someone "im in love with you", but its okay if you dont love me...how can i say that n not expect our relationship to change...i've accepted our current relationship n i dont want to lose what i have right now...so someone tell me what to do? honestily...how can i overcome this...i used to think ill overcome it as soon as i find someone else...but now i cant even find anyone cuz of this...sigh just my luck haha o well thats life for yah i guess...n i still believe in love so maybe thats why hope sticks with me...maybe if i didnt believe in love i would be able to move on?
-Q
7/23/03 (9:51 PM): The Crew
Cap'n Red James Rackham (RACKem) (Q)
Cap'n Iorn Harry Kidd (Marius)
Dirty morty vane(Navin)
Bloody Davy Rackham (Coules mi brother...marooned on an island)
Bloody John Rackham(John mi second brother)
Mad Tom Rackham(tai, Argh a family ship!)
Dread Pirate Rackham (jimmy)
Iron Tom Bonney (Tony)
*edited*
(4: 33 AM): Bitch?
Am i or am i not nessa's bitch...shit i ended up paying for her movie ticket and gas tonight:( i feel like such a bitch haha.
(3: 18 AM): Beautiful
You are really beautiful to me...
i just hope you know this is for you becuase you are one of the most beauitful young ladies I know. Great to have you in my life. Love You Forever. Never once have i looked at you and wished you had something different or imagined you with something more...Maybe im just seeing you more then your body but what i see is beauty...wish you could see yourself the way i see you...and then you would undestand why i get all mad at you when u put u'reself down.
Beautiful
You are like the first flower of spring
the rebirth of beauty in my soul
A reinassance of perfection
one of a kind
no matter what fate brings
You by my side is sanity in my mind
from the start
till the end
You will never understand
how beautiful you really are.
i will always hold u far
we will always be apart
but in my heart
two are one
till the grave
-Q
PS: No one ask me who this is for...mind u're own business n just gossip about it behind my back:-D You know like usual!
7/22/03 (3:50 AM): :-D
Sexual Healing is good for me.
(3:30 AM): YEEAAAAHHHH!!!!!
RAVING!!!! IS GREAT!!!! FRONT OF A MASSIVE CROWD HEART PUMPIN...MUSIC BLASTING...EVERYONE JUMPIN...JUST GOING CRAZY WITH YOUR MOTHERFUCKERS! ITS JUS GREAT...I HELLA WANT TO GO TO ONE NOW...STARN'S TRAK "BLACK SKY" HELLA GOTS ME PUMPED...LETS GO RAVING! Where my original crew at...van tai n me all up front! Bring up dave n jimbo n marius n all the motherfuckers and its on! YEAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! WOOOOOOOOOOT!
-Q
7/21/03 (7:07 AM): SLeep?
i went to bed at 5 and now its 7...i think i've slept total of 20 min...dunno it jus aint working tonight...
i guess i gotta clear up some ish before i can get to bed...only problem is the person i need to clear it with is asleep haha:-D
too bad i dont got my shoes...i kinda feel like going to the park right now and jus shooting jumpshots...
jus dont feel trusted...always feel like im outside the box looking in...maybe ill stay there this time.
what can you do when ur soul wants something, every inch of your body yerns for it, and your heart wishes for it...but your mind knows you cant have it...do you just suffer? please someone tell me what to do...i try to hide my feelings...im not supposed to feel like this...Love, its a motherfucker. I wanna run away...i am what they mean by "love hurts" becuae i've been hurting since day one...pain masked by a smile...a smile masked by pain
ultimateily it is i who was the archietect of my own fiath...i sacraficed too much...
-Q
Life's a bitch and then you die.
7/19/03 (6:20 PM): Update
2 new buddy icons in the Booty mob section...the new "slow down" collection...
-Q
7/18/03 (6:31 PM): UPDATE
New Booty of the week...
-Q
(4:45 PM): Shit Happens.
BMI pASSion (4:39:17 PM): like dave randomily decided to go to cashe creek casino
BMI pASSion (4:39:20 PM): out near sac-town
BMI pASSion (4:39:22 PM): so we was heading out there
BMI pASSion (4:39:24 PM): 20 min out of davis
BMI pASSion (4:39:28 PM): (we were gonna pick up kim)
BMI pASSion (4:39:33 PM): his tire pops form the inside out
BMI pASSion (4:39:34 PM): n fucks up
BMI pASSion (4:39:41 PM): so we pull over
BMI pASSion (4:39:48 PM): n we open his trunk
BMI pASSion (4:39:51 PM): he gots aspare but nod amn jack
BMI pASSion (4:39:58 PM): so we try calling all these places n no one helps us
BMI pASSion (4:40:05 PM): n then we call our friend huong who lives in davis
BMI pASSion (4:40:08 PM): but she was in frisco
BMI pASSion (4:40:12 PM): but she all well im heading back
BMI pASSion (4:40:14 PM): so ill stop on the way back
BMI pASSion (4:40:23 PM): but then she gets stuck in traffic on bay bridge
BMI pASSion (4:40:31 PM): so it took her an hour
BMI pASSion (4:40:33 PM): but finally she gets there
BMI pASSion (4:40:39 PM): we jack it up get spare on n we think ita ll cool on our way
BMI pASSion (4:40:44 PM): 3 miles later the spare goes flat....
BMI pASSion (4:40:47 PM): n huong already left
BMI pASSion (4:41:12 PM): n so me n van get out
BMI pASSion (4:41:15 PM): n we push it about a mile
BMI pASSion (4:41:17 PM): to a cheveron
BMI pASSion (4:41:26 PM): n finally we end up calling our boy jimmy from san jose
BMI pASSion (4:41:29 PM): n it takes him an hour
BMI pASSion (4:41:31 PM): but he gets out there
BMI pASSion (4:41:35 PM): n we finally get his spare on dave's car
BMI pASSion (4:41:37 PM): aroudn 5 am
BMI pASSion (4:41:43 PM): n then we gotta check pressure
BMI pASSion (4:41:46 PM): so we go air machine
BMI pASSion (4:41:49 PM): but no pressure gage
BMI pASSion (4:42:00 PM): so we go arco across street n they got pressure gage but their hose dont fit on the tire
BMI pASSion (4:42:01 PM): so fuck
BMI pASSion (4:42:07 PM): we end up buying a portable one
BMI pASSion (4:42:09 PM): n do it
BMI pASSion (4:42:12 PM): n finally end up in davis at liek 6 am.
BMI pASSion (4:42:17 PM): after leaving here 11 30
G.L.O. to huong for coming through and same for JIMMY...JIMMY YOU"RE MY BOY! HUONG YOU"RE MY BOY! And kim for letting us crash at her place... KIM YOU"RE MY BOY!
Anyways...cashe creek next week then?
-Q
7/17/03 (9:59 PM): Question...
If you love someone but they dont love you back did you waste your love? Cuz i sure as hell feel like i've been wasting a lot of my love on someone...
-Q
7/16/03 (2:30 PM): Update
New Musical Relaxation track...check it...
-Q
PS: 28 days later is weak as fuck dont watch it...
7/14/03 (9:15 PM): What my birthday says about me...
Of unusual beauty
does not want to impress
well-developed sense of justice
vivacious
interested
a born diplomat
but irritate and sensitive in company
often due to a lack of self-confidence <----i dont know about that one...
acts sometimes superior
feels not understood loves only once
has difficulties in finding a partner.
May 21
http://www.pressanykey.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/pak/treetypes.pl
(6:44 PM): Aint that the truth...
"Your first love is never really over..."
(3:54 PM): Pirates!!
Go watch the new Johny Depp flick! its sick as hell...johnny depp is best pirate ever n Cap'n Babosa bust the best "Arrrrr" ever...its not even a stupid movie it gots sick ass dialouge...it was great to watch...i wanna go again so take me...;) it was great!
-Q
7/10/03 (6:02 AM) RAVE SCENE...
sorry i just had to put the smiley face/head rave...its jus sick as fuck...raves are great!!! fa sho! now thats some musical relaxation!
on the same note everyone cop St. Johns' Progressions into trance cd....
(4:29 AM): TAI YOUR MY BOY!
Frankie J-Dont Wanna Try
decent track...tai recommended it so i got it...n i'll send this out to everyone thats giving up on the love game...
(2:39 AM): Secerts
i tell everything...u hold back everything...
just never was my idea of how it is supposed to be...
so im going to learn to be like you...n tell nothing.
-Q
7/9/03 (4:50 AM): Let the good times roll...
[almost] All BETTER.
-Q
7/8/03 (2:48 AM): You've got? a freind
Ooooooooo
Yeah baby
When your down and troubled
And you need some love and care
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up
Even your darkest night
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come runnin'
To see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
You've got a friend
If the sky above you
Grows dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind begins to blow
Keep your head together baby
And call my name out loud
Soon you'll hear me
Knockin' at your door
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come runnin'
To see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
Ain't it good to know that
You've got a friend?
People can be so cold oh yeah
They'll hurt you and desert you
And take your soul if you let them
But don't you let them
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come runnin'
To see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there
You've got a friend
You've got a friend
You've got a friend (You had a freind?)
been a while since i felt like crying...but saturday my heart had tears.
(1:33 AM): to whomever this may concern...
...and you dont even know what its about...
so u can con't thinking what you want...why should i care about it...when u dont even give a damn about what i say about it...dont question my love...i have proven it witout a doubt...question you're love...cuz u never once proved it...it was me who made my self believe...but now i doubt myself...n more so i doubt you...all those times i thought u helped me...u really didnt do anything..never had a understanding word...never had any indept comment...most of the time u jus werent there...but i convinced myself you helped me...when it was really i who helped myself...so prove to me when u were there for me....give me a reason why....open your eyes to an unconditional love...n open to u're eyes to days gone by...goodbye.
i walk wit a weight on my heart...
in a friend's eye's there are no flaws...
-Q
TRUST
7/5/03 (3:30 PM): fuck bush!
www.votetoimpeach.org
-Q
7/4/03 (5: 20 PM): 7/4/1776
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men [women] are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."
Declaration of Independance 1776
wait and i thought today was only about fireworks n bbq's...
Lets rejoice in our failure.
-Q
PS: R.I.P. Berry White.
7/3/03 (4:32 PM): LA Girls Are Great;)
Q: we shoudl get dialated together sometime
Vincci: haha
Q: change our whole perspective on reality n what not
Vincci: aw, q, i miss u :-)
Vincci: i haven't seen u for ages
Q: of course u do!
(her puplis are dialated from a eye checkup n everythign is blurry)
(5:23 PM): Gotta Love This Newark Girl to
Q: howdy
Kim: hello Q
Kim: do u want me to take down your convo?
Q: naw haha
Kim: or sencor it next time or something?
Q: quit crying
Q: doesnt matter
Kim: keep your status as the tough guy Q?
Q: haha
Q: u n nessa alrite assisnated my character
Q: already*
Kim: hahaah
Kim: great
Kim: did i every tell u how much i like vanessa .. from what i near of her that is
Q: u not supposed ot be all happy
Kim: ooo..
Q: dammit
Q: haha
Kim: yes, yes yes... nessa... bad girl!
Kim: very bad girl
Kim: >:o....<---- me pretending to be angry for u
Q: why dont u lik eme
Q: why u gotta like nessa
Kim: i love u Q
Kim: but i like nessa...
7/2/03 (4:10 AM): Canibus-I Honor U
We'll never part (through) sickness and health
You are my heart
I love you more than I love myself
But in the middle of the night
I heard you cryin' in your sleep
It'll be all right, I'll be there for you
If you tell me all your secrets
Yet in the middle of the night
I heard you cryin' in your sleep I held you tight
I'll be there for you...
If you tell me all your secrets
-Q
7/1/03 (1:30 AM): About Love
well i dunno im part of this hip hop forum and someone posted a thread about the best love songs in hip hop...it got me thinking...like i know how all the "real" love songs are supposedily r n b but in all honestily that shit is getting really repetitive isnt it? I mean i love a lot of those songs (more so relate to some of em but thats a whole diff. story) but they are not orginal...n we started talking about all these hip hop songs n i started realizing how many songs i actually know myself n how they truely are beauitful...they are deep....original but it jus hard to think of them as love songs becasue well they are rap songs...here is a list of a few
Illogic-Angel
Emanon-Blind Love (GET THIS ONE!)
Black Eyed Peas-Rap Song
Dead Prez-Mind Sex
Nate Dogg-Never Leave me alone (G-Funk!)
Common-THe light (classic its very beauitful)
Mos Def-Beauitful
Mos Def-Ms Fat Booty (funny)
Tupac-Dear Momma (Love you mom)
Tupac-unconditional love
Tupac-Do for love
Tupac-Never call you a bitch again
Common-Come Close
Nas-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Atmosphere - Don't Ever Fucking Question That
Talib Kweli-Love Langauge
Jurassic 5-Thin Line
Brand Nubian-Sincerily I (spelling?)
Canibus-I Honor You (GET THIS ONE!!!)
Mos Def-Foundation
The Roots-Act Too The Love Of My Life
I dunno if you guys can think of anymore let me know i'll add em but yeah these are really good ones...not all are directily about love but in some way are tied to the whole game of love...yeah lately im just trying to stay on the sidelines...at least until i can move on with my life...its jus i keep finding myself stuck on someone that slipped through...its kinda like that Emanon song "Blind Love"...i guess i am blinded by love cuz i really cant find anyone that i even try for anymore...i mean i've always been picky but at least back then i still be like yeah she cool...now its like someone goes did you see her i go ahh sure...or yeah she ok...i dont really look...unless its in front of the guys then you gotta put on a show or unless she's really beauitful then you gotta look..im still a guy aint i? futhermore to make matters worse i find a lot of girls annoying and stupid now...they do stuipd shit...gossip too much...just lot of shit...like i find it annoying how some of them get ass hurt becuase we (as in the guys) dont chill with them...when we go well we gonna b balling n thats what we always doing so well thats that...n then other ones just stop talking to you or really making much contact with you until thye need you...well that i jus dont like anyone in general like that...guy or girl...but anyways...i jus wanna be left alone in many ways...i was tellin nessa other day like me n girls just aint the way to be...n by that it not like im some pathetic loser giving up on it..it jus i dont really want it right now...i dont wanna deal wit that ish...but its all good...she dont understand a lot of things i tell her...but i dont make it easy for her to understand...she's an intelligent girl but im a complicated boy...i make a lot of things more ocmplicated then i need to...just becuase i guess i wanna keep her in the dark a lil bit...i mean she knows everything about me...n i trust her with everything including my life...i tell her everything...but she just dont understand some things....but i love her like family or i dunno i dont try to label love but everyone else wonders it...when u say u love her do u mean like u wanan b wit her or uw anna marry her so i have to attach this family label...i jus say i love her...n that is it...lets put it this way...u know that game show "who wants to be a millionare" if i was on it...i had one quesiton left for a mill..i was stuck....i would call her...n i would take her answer no matter what..cuz she is my LIFELINE...i need her help to survive...n if she was wrong...i would walk away with my 32 gs smiling...it dont even matter...cuz whenever its all too much/im stuck even if she doesnt say the right thing or doesnt understand my problem her trying is all it takes to let me live my life...thank you(pimp anology or not?)...she is a big part of my life...i really dont know...how it came to be like this...i guess she was the only person i ever opeend up to...n now im really vunerable to her...but its okay...she is a very trustworthy person...anyways i think i've totally gone side track on this shit...let see where was i...i dont even know...hmmm
I got a new "musical Relaxation" selection...everyone should really pay attention to this song and listen to it...read the lyrics