2/25/04 (9:06 PM): Make my dream come true...let me hold you.
we all have sexual fantsy about people and thats perfctily normal but i was relaly well not troubled but surpisedthat last night i fantasied about well basically sleeping wit a certian girl and jus holding her close to my body resting my hand on her stomache n her holding my hand as it rested there n we fell asleep together...hmm n i know im sexually attracted to her but damn i jus wanted to lay there wit her...:) it was a good fantsy...maybe ill have it again tonight...n if id ont its okay at least it was so good while it lasted...mayeb at least once in my lifetime ill have a chance to hold her like i did in my head last night....i think i want you.
Q.BOoty living in a REAList dream
2/10/04 (8:59 PM): Ill sing to you till the end...
Prince-The Most Beautiful Girl in the World
dedicated: to a girl
"could you be the most beauitful girl int he world? its plain to see you are the reason God made a girl."
Could u be the most beautiful girl in the world?
Its plain 2 see ure the reason that God made a girl
When the day turns into the last day of all time
I can say I hope u are in these arms of mine
And when the night falls before that day I will cry
I will cry tears of joy cuz after u all one can do is die, oh
Could u be the most beautiful girl in the world?
Could u be?
It's plain 2 see u're the reason that God made a girl
Oh, yes u are
How can I get through days when I cant get through hours?
I can try but when I do I see u and Im devoured, oh yes
Whod allow, whod allow a face 2 be soft as a flower? oh
I could bow (bow down) and feel proud in the light of this power
Oh yes, oh
Could u be (could u be) the most beautiful girl in the world?
Could u be?
Its plain 2 see ure the reason that God made a girl
Oh, yes u are
And if the stars ever fell one by one from the sky
I know mars could not be, uh, 2 far behind
Cuz baby, this kind of beauty has got no reason 2 ever be shy
Cuz honey, this kind of beauty is the kind that comes from inside
Could u be (could u be) the most beautiful girl in the world?
So beautiful, beautiful
Its plain 2 see (plain 2 see) ure the reason that God made a girl
Oh yeah! (oh, yes u are)
Girl (could u be? )
U must be ... oh yeah!
(could u be? )
U're the reason ... oh yeah
(could) {x3}
yeah my site has lost all order and structure n basically all i do is dump everything into this log n i havnt even cleaned january stuff oh well fuck it haha...
Q.BOoty the man formally known as Qumber
2/08/04 (4: 19 AM): Ode to You
it feels like u dont want me to like you...that u wished it wasnt so and thats okay i understand...i guess part of me wished i didnt get myself into all this neither...but honestily u do "make me feel that way"...this is probably the most messed up i've been about a girl...everytime before i knew right away if it was gonan work or not...i might've tripped abou them but at least i knew what but for some reason this is different even tho it should be clear this isnt going to work out part of me is holding on...part of me is hoping...part of me rejocies in your "whatt ifs" and "technically"s....now it seems everythign reminds me of you...musik...movies...life...my life...its mostily i remind myself of you...but even if it was possible for us to give this a shot would it even work? i have no idea...part of me is scared to even chill wit u now...the saying "water under the bridge"...well lately im thinking has there been too much water that has passed under that bridge..dont get me wrong all of me wants to chill wit u.....it seems there are some expectations there n i dunno really what to expect of those exceptations...i know u dont exepct anythign of me...n i dont expect nothing of you but i dunno what im talking about i guess i just need to takl to you...sorry.
Q.BOoty the Confused
2/05/04 (2:30 AM): its late...
The Ataris-Your Boyfriend Sucks [O:-)]
Q.BOoty the Blunt-statesman
2/02/04 (3:52 AM): Truly Madly Deeply
I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope I'll be your love
Be everything that you need.
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply do
I will be strong I will be faithful
'cause I'm counting on
A new beginning
A reason for living
A deeper meaning
-Savage Garden
this first verse jus sounds so nice...download this song! thanx anna for referring it to me...
i shoudl be alseep...been up since 7-8am then tomrorw gotta go class 9am-12 work 12-2 class 2-3 review 4-6 study rest of day for midterm on tuesday...
Q.BOoty the Sleeping INsominac
PS:
Safe Keeping:
-Reflection of the Future-
Im going to live a careless life full of pain so in the end i can turn to you and with my last breath say "Friend, I lived a life." A careless life indeed is the life i need to lead. I will take all the care in the world not to care for this world becuase in the end if i care i will grieve in my passing...
if my eyes rememberd how to cry today they would've rejocied in that such misery. If my heart remembered joy today it would've forgetton such a precious dream. If my life new not sarrow today it would've learned what it meant to be me.
1/31/04 (10:03 PM): Crash and Burn
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door
And you feel like you can't take anymore
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
-Savage Garden
a lot has happened since last update and you still wont know what...
Q.BOoty Navigating the Stars
1/24/04 (3:07 AM): WHoo-hoo for ps2!
well today was a cool day...but yeah i missed all my classes becuase like last night i went to this "chinese new years" club party n we didnt get home till 3 30 am or so...n like i woke up at 8 am to go to class n then i had forgotten to turn off my alarm so i had to climb back in bed (top bunk) n turn it off n yeah i went ot sleep haha...oh well...the party last night was alrite...it was kinda crowded well in the main room at least...so many damn asians....hmmm lot of asian hoes to...today's musik is really whack...like i dont relaly listen to radio so at the club was first time i heard a lot of the crap there is like no real way to dance to it...anyways so like yeah missed all my classes so woek up...started playing ps2....i won my season opener wit the raiders on madden 04 n i unlocked all the characters on tekken 4....also went out to dinner for my freind travis' bday and then watched a 2 dollar screening of lost in translation on campus...it was an alrite movie i think its better like if u rent it n watch it wit u're girlfriend or something...but yeah i dunno the ending was kinda like "weak!" in my opinon but it was still cool i guess if u think of it in line of hte moive...anyways yeah thats the update
actually another thought...well i dunno if this is a good thing or a bad thing but last night at the club i was walking around n like not every girl but a good amount of girls kept reminding me of certian person...like their faces would look like the certian girls face...n i'd take a double take n realize that it was jus some random girl...its kinda like that cresent jewerly commerical where the guy is walkign down the street n every woman he see's has the same face n at th end he goes home n the face is of his wife n it goes "when there is only one woman in the world for you..." yeah it was like that...haha anyways im just tripping...
OLD SCHOOL: Savage garden-i knew i loved you, the lover after me these two tracks are the shizzznit!
Q.BOoty lost in transcription
1/19/04 (8:03 PM): A Simple Prayer...
"O Allah, if I worship thee in fear of hell, burn me in hell then; if i worship thee in hope of paradise, exclude me from paradise; but if i worship thee for thine own sake, withold not thy everlasting beauty."
i just read this in an Islamic book that im reading for my Islamics Studies class and i dunno i just made me wanna write it down some place. Yeah well ill leave it up to you readers to ponder it or ignore it. I really do think its a beautiful saying/prayer.
Q.BOoty the lost believer
1/18/04 (5:35 PM): What is love?
these are just my random thoughts that i felt like writing down...i was thinking like if i was to get wit a girl that i know has had many relationships before me like u know 3-4 or whatever...n i also knew that she claimed to love them n now claims that she didnt love them in a way that was meant to last forever but more as a i
for you a lot way....or let say she even told me that....it would make me wonder....does she love me as a true enternal love or as just the care for you love? becuase i dunno i would prefer her not to love me at all if it wasnt the true eternal form of love that i believe is love...i guess i think the care love should be left for freinds...like the love i hold for my bestfriend...its that i care for you/family etc etc love....but if i was to be in love wit my girlfriend i hope it would be the true eternal type of love...i dont mean jus becuase im in love wit her in that way we have to get married...it takes a lot to have a marrige...love isnt enough....love isnt enough in anything these days it seems...but i mean at least the intention of my love would be true n pure...but u know these are jus my random thoughts...if anyone feels differentily please feel free to comment...i dont mind discussing this...jus trying to form a greater understanding of the concept i suppose....maybe i should try to get some practical experience in it...well at least some positive practical expereince unlike the negative experience i've delt wit in the past. BUt whatever you have if it is this "caring love" or my version of "true love" i guess its always good to be loved...so enjoy it my friends...
ON another note...im really annoyed wit those types that are like alywas on ure case to hang out or do stuff when they single and then as soon as they get with someone they forget about you to the point that they dont even talk to you no more then then once they breka up they show up again like that i shoudl be obligated to be the same freind as iw as before...but then again i dont really care about them that much anymore nor care to deal with em so it aint thta big of a deal i guess...
Q.BOoty the loveless lover.
1/11/04 (5:30 PM): Typecasting...
Typecast : to cast (an actor or actress) in a part calling for the same characteristics as those possessed by the performer
well i was in the shower n i got to thinking...its really annoying when people well bascially girls tell me "a girl be really lucky to have you" or "you'll make someone really happy one day"...the way i see it if all that was true it would've happened by now...granted im not actively looking for a relationship...n thats bascially the main reason i probably dont have one...but i mean basically i've realized my role is that caretaker, good friend, be there when u fall, can rely on to help me when im down but dont have to care about him when im up...dont have to be there for him...type person...n u know i let myself be used this way...cuz im jus a suckka for freinds ig uess...im willing to do anythign for freinds...n i jus want ot be there for my friends...n i guess bascially i am willing to do what most peopel only do for their significant others for any of my friends...n most girls see that in me so they rather take that witout the commitment n thats jus the way it is...but i jus dont liek hearing a girl tellign me that "oh you'll make ANOTHER girl really happy"...i mean its like well obvious im the same with everyone so if im not good enough for you why would i be good enough for anyone espeically when im not looking to change myself to make someoen appreciate me...but yeah its jus really annoying i guess...like its flattering but still annoying...hmmm yeah i guess its jus cuz it always ends up the same way with everyone that its starting to bother me...like i dont mind being a friend n stuff but i guess i jus dont like being reminded of my romantic short coming even if they are self-induced.
Why do i live a typecasted life...
This quarter is gonna be interesting...first time im takign 19 units, plus i might start working in this reserach lab dealie n also i got a ps2 now....
well i guess i jus wanted to jot this down real quick since i jus got out of the shower....i dunno if imma keep this site running but i guess i mgiht im jus really sick of the format of it...but not in the mood to revamp it right now...i already know what hte next design is going ot be jus not really amped to put in the hours its gonan take to get it there....so until further notice ig uess the QTrix lives....
Q.BOoty the Freind
1/02/04 (4:34 PM): Renew...
Well the new month and even more the new year is upon us and it is a time to start a new for a lot of us...to make our stupid resolutions that we wont keep...personally i dindt make any resolutions well becusae i feel if i want to change something i will change it when well when i wanna change it...why should i force my self to change something that throughout the whole year i didnt feel necessary to change it but now that its a new year i should listen to some tradition n jus forcefully make something different....anyways im thinking about taking this site down but i dunno yet...ill let yall kno wwhen i decide.
Tirade:
Lately ive been seeing too many people sacraficing their morals or at least their characters....these pepole in high school or for at least as long as i kenw them were all anti-drugs, drinking sex etc etc n now they are drinking doing drugs being sluts or whatever jus to well bascially fit in...of course they wont admit it...its the traditional excuse any alcoholic/druggie gives..."it feels good"...but its too easy to see that over half the people that pick up drugs n eseically alcohol are jus trying to do it cuz they arent comfertabe wit themselves n want to jus fit in..no matter if they wont admit it its jus the way it is...n it jus reflects back on the type of person they are too me...i mean no matter how cool u are or how nice u are but if u are hypocritical or if u cant even stand by u're beliefs jus cuz u want to be cool then i cant respect u fully...or at least the level i erspected u before drops significanitly...n thats jus how i feel...now if this offends anyone who reads it maybe thats telling u u are one of these people cuz i really havnt written this directed at anyone but if u feel its an attack on u then well i cnat help that n i guess this does include u then...n u have to ask u're self if its okay wit u that u are a sheep...."whos the black sheep im the black sheep are you the black sheep?"
Q.BOoty aka the man who may not Have everything you got but at least he aint a SHEEP