Miles to Go

I met Audrey at a party one Saturday night.  You see, a friend of mine invited me to one of those fraternity parties where there=s plenty of drinking and women.  I arrived at the party, walked around, looked for my friend, and didn=t find him.  I found out later that bastard stayed home and got drunk instead of at the party.  So there I was, at the party with no friends to be with and surrounded by drunks, when I decided to take a leave of absence.  On my way out . . .

There was a thud from the ground, then someone shouted, AOww!  Watch where you=re going, jerk!@
I looked down at the girl I had just knocked down.  AI=m sorry!@ I apologized as best I could.  AI didn=t see you!@  I held out a hand, and she used it to pull herself up.
AThat=s why you have to look forward when you=re walking!  The ground=s not going anywhere.@
AI know, I=m sorry.@
She patted her jeans and the bottom of her black, leather jacket.  I looked her over really quickly . . . she had short, brunette hair, small ears and lips, dark brown eyes, slim figure . . .
A . . . such a hurry?@
I shook my head.  AWhat?@
AI said, where are you going in such a hurry?@
AOh, I was on my way home.@
AWell, I=ll see you around.@  She continued walking into the house.
Before she got too far, I asked, AWhat=s your name?@
She heard me and turned around.  AAudrey, and you?@
ALori.@
ALori?  That=s a weird name.@
AIt=s short, my full name=s Viloria.@
AViloria, nice name.@
AThanks.  Hey, I=m really sorry about knocking you down, how can I make it up to you?@
She took her right hand and tapped her right cheek with her right index finger.  AHow about you help me get back at my boyfriend?@
AOkay, sounds interesting.  What do you want me to do?@
She took her right hand and hooked it around my left arm.  AJust walk around with me and act like we=re having a really, really good time together.@
AYou got it.@
Audrey and I walked around the frat house.  She said hi to some friends, making sure it was obvious I was her date.  As we walked around, I turned to her and inquired, AHey, what did your boyfriend do?@
She answered as we kept walking.  AWell, for one thing, he cheated on me with one of my best friends.  Then, he told all his friends I=m a bitch, so they shouldn=t go out with me.  And lastly, he told me he never liked me in the first place and only went out with me to get in my pants.  That, of course, was the last straw.@
ASo why are you wasting time trying to get back at him, if he was such and asshole?@
She tapped her right cheek with her right index finger.  AGood question.  I guess I want to show him he=s wrong instead of sitting at home and pouting.@

ADon=t get mad, get even, right?@
AExactly.@
AAlright then, where is the bastard?@
AI don=t see . . .@ Audrey spotted a guy next to the fireplace, talking with a girl with blond hair and a full chest.  Her eyes narrowed at the sight.
The guy was fairly tall, about six feet tall, with a well toned body, not quite muscular, but not skinny either.  His hair was cut in a regular crew type style, his eyes, from where I could see, had a blue tint to them.  The rest of his face was made up of a skinny nose, thin lips, a pointed chin with a cleft, and dimples around his mouth every time he smiled.  A regular Greek god, if I do say so myself.
AWow, he=s a real lady killer.@
AYeah, you can see how he drew me in at first.@  She let go of my arm.  AFace me.@
I turned both my shoulders towards her.  She put both her arms around my neck.
ANow, just act like we=re really happy together.@
ANo problem.@
Audrey said some things that made no sense, but we reacted like we were in heaven each time the other spoke.  We each looked over at her former boyfriend occasionally to make sure he was paying attention.  After a couple loud giggles, we caught his eye.
AOkay, now kiss me.@
AWhat?@
AKiss me!@
ABut . . .@
AJust do it!@
AOkay.@
I leaned forward and kissed Audrey directly on the lips.  She kissed back, but with more action than emotion.  I tried to make it look as passionate as I could without employing my tongue.  We both leaned back after a little while and glanced at her former boyfriend, who was now on his way over.
AHey!  That=s my girl!@
ANot anymore!@ Audrey shouted back.  AWe broke up, remember?@  She made her point by kissing me again.  I was starting to have a little fun with this.  She stopped kissing me and looked at her former boyfriend.  AYour loss . ..@
A . . . is my gain,@ I finished.  She looked at me with a little surprise.  I just took it in stride and smiled at her ex.  AShe=s great, how could you let her go?  She=s perfect!@  I looked at Audrey and smiled.
She smiled back, looked at her former boyfriend, and said, ANow, if you=ll excuse us, it=s our one week anniversary . . . we=d like to celebrate in private.@
I smiled at Audrey, then winked at her ex, and carried Audrey away, still clinging to my neck with her arms.  As I carried her away, I asked, AIs he watching?@
She answered back into my left ear, AYeah, he looks like he wants to come after us, but doesn=t know what to do.@
AGood.@
I rounded a corner, past the stairs, and she let go of my neck.  AThanks, I think he=s sorry he let me go now.  Mission accomplished.@
AGlad I was able to help.  That was actually kinda fun.@
AYeah, we work well together.@
I nodded in agreement.  AWe should do it again sometime.@

AWe just might have to, he thinks we=re going out, so we should get together once in a while.@
ASounds good to me.@
And with that, we exchanged numbers, said bye to each other, and left the party . . .  as a couple of course.

That Thursday, I called her up to meet her for lunch at the student union.  Fortunately, she and I had enough time in between classes.  We met, got our food, and sat down at a table.
ASo, I suppose since we ARE going out, we should at least know a little bit about each other=s love lives,@ I stated.
AThat=s fair enough.  What do you want to know?@
I forked some pasta, put it in my mouth, and chewed on it while I asked, AHow many boyfriends have you had?@
AWhat does that have to do with anything?@  She spooned some rice and put it down the hatch.
ACall it morbid curiosity.@
She paused for a second to wash down the rice with her water.  ALet=s see, including John, about 6.@
AThat=s it?@
AWhat do you mean that=s it?@
AWell, you=re gorgeous.  I=m surprised more guys haven=t tried.@
AOh, plenty have, just 6 were accepted though.@
I nodded as I took a drink of my fruit punch.  Then asked, AWere you in love with any of them?@
AOh yeah, my high school sweetheart, Andy, him and I were really in love.  It seemed like we did everything together.  It was like, I don=t know.@
ASoulmates?@
AYeah!  It was a lot like that . . . but I moved away for college and he stayed home.  It was really tough and we started growing apart, so we finally broke it off.@
AYou still love him?@
She nodded her head.
AThere=s still hope, once you get out of here, you can always go back, right?@
AYeah, that was my thought too, until Andy fell in love with someone else back home.@
AOh . . . I=m sorry.@
She shook her head.  AIt=s alright, I=m trying not to think about it, trying to move on and everything.@
AAnd John fits in there somewhere?@
AYup.@
AI see it all now.@
We both ingested some servings of our respectful foods, then my own interrogation began.
AWhat about you?  How many?@
AI=m ashamed to say.@
ACome on!  I just told you a little of my history, you have to tell me a little of yours.@
AFine, fine, promise me you won=t think little of me.@
AI won=t!@
AOkay . . . two.@
ATwo?@

AYeah, that=s it.@
AThat=s not bad.  It=s kinda cute, it shows you=re still a little innocent.@
AWhatever you say.@
AWere you in love with either of them?@
ANot at all.  They liked me more than I liked them, so I went out with them.@
AWhy?  Isn=t that taking advantage of them?@
AOf course!  But I=d never had that happen to me before, so I wanted to experience it for myself.  Now that I look back at it, I probably shouldn=t have done that, because I was such a bad boyfriend to both of them.@
AAlright, but you HAVE been in love, right?@
AYeah, oh yeah.  This girl I knew in high school, I had a crush on her for years, then senior year we started talking and I was writing poetry about her.@
AWow, poetry?  Did she like that?@
AYeah, but unfortunately, she only looked at me as a friend.  I was okay with that, but seeing her with her boyfriends just depressed me even more.  After a long time, and after coming here, I think I got over her.  It was really hard, though, since she was the first love I had ever had.@
AThat=s kinda sad.  What ever happened to her?@
AShe goes to school here.@
AReally?  Now=s your chance!  New place, new start . . .@
I shook my head.  ANo, it=s no use.  I=ve thought about it, but she=ll still look at me as just a friend, and it=ll be unrequited love all over again.  I want to move on, like you do.@
She nodded.
I continued, AI think I=ve had some pretty bad luck with love.  Girls have liked me, but I didn=t like them back.  Then there was that girl, who I loved but didn=t love me back.  I=ve never had it where we were in love with each other . . . that must feel great.@
AOh, it does . . . you=ll have your time.@
I looked at her and nodded.  AThank you, but I=m not so optimistic.@
AThat=s alright, I can be the optimistic one and you can be the sarcastic one.@
I smiled.  ADeal.@
We finished our meals, said bye, and went to class.

After that day we had lunch, we kept having lunch together.  It was really nice, even though it was just supposed to be an act, we became good friends.  We talked about school, family, friends, and even our personal thoughts.  The semester passed, and we kept it going.  It was getting near the end of the semester when this little incident happened between me and a certain ex-boyfriend of Audrey=s.
I was on my way out of a bar one night when I was ambushed in the parking lot by John and a couple of his friends.  I won=t bore you with the specifics of the beating, I=ll just give you what little dialogue happened.
AWhat was that for?@ I asked as I was on the ground, holding my side as it ached.
AYou know what it was for, stay away from her!  She=s too good for you.@
I looked up at him.  ASo why=d you leave her then?@
That one left him speechless, so him and his friends kicked me one more time and left.  I abruptly watched them go and pass out.

The next thing I remember is waking up in a hospital and aching all over.  I looked around the white room and at the machines that were hooked up to me.  I had never been in this position and it felt really weird.
AHey, you okay?@
I looked in the direction of the voice.  In the doorway was a friend of mine, Mike.  He came into the room and stood next to my bed.
AI=ve felt better.@
ASo I gathered.  The police told me they found you in a parking lot all beaten up.  Who did this?@
AYou remember Audrey?@
AYeah.@
AHer ex did this.@
AOkay, the police are still here, you can tell them all the details.@
ANo, I=m not going to.@
AWhat?  What=s wrong with you?  Did they really mess up your head or something?@
AI just can=t get into it, okay?  All I can say is this is one big misunderstanding.@
AIf you say so.@
AJeez, I hope the other guys aren=t too worried.@
AThey=re not, they=re still at the apartment getting drunk.@
AWhy am I not surprised?@

After a day of staying in the hospital, the doctor let me go.  I got beaten up on Friday night, so I was back into my usual routine on Monday.  The week went by as usual until Thursday came along and so did my usual lunch with Audrey.  We sat down to eat our lunch as usual.
AI know about what happened to you last Friday,@ Audrey started.
AYou did?  How=d you hear about it?@
AJohn came over to my place after it happened and asked if we could get back together.  I asked, >what about my boyfriend?= and that=s when he told me he had beaten you up.  He thought I=d see how much more manly he was now, but of course, I said no and shut the door in his face.@
AGood for you, looks like you=ve completed your revenge.@
AYeah.@
I smiled at her and said, ABut next time, make sure I=m not in any danger of bodily harm, okay?@
Audrey chuckled and said, ADeal.@
Right after she said that, something happened.  I don=t know what it was, but I felt something happen in me.  It felt like my heart exploded, or was about to.  It kind caught me off guard and I didn=t say anything for a while, we just ate in silence for a couple minutes.  We talked and ate for a couple more minutes and then left to go to class.  But after class, I thought about what had happened.  I decided what happened was some kind indication of my feelings for Audrey, and I was really concerned about it.  We were good friends, but I didn=t want to start having feelings for her because it might ruin that friendship.  Either way, I couldn=t tell her about it, and there was school to worry about, so I put my feelings for her in the back of my mind.  There was plenty of time to sort out my feelings.

It was the week before finals week, referred to as Adead week@ by most students.  Mike and I were at this restaurant, eating lunch and studying.  Thursday of this week would be my last time to see Audrey, for the semester and maybe forever.  Fortunately, my finals this semester wouldn=t be that tough.  Unfortunately, I still hadn=t sorted out my feelings for Audrey and it was Wednesday, so I needed some answers fast.  I was down to my last resort . . . Mike.

AHow do you know if you like someone?@ I asked Mike.
AHuh?@  He looked up from his book.
AHow do you know if you like someone?@
AOh, well, I don=t know.@
I looked at him annoyed.  AGee, thanks, you=re a lot of help.@
Mike sipped some of his drink.  AIs this about that Audrey girl you=ve been having a fake relationship with?@
AMaybe . . .@
Mike laughed.  AHow cute, now that you=ve had a taste of the action, you want the real thing.@
I shook my head.  AIf you=re going to laugh about it, you could at least answer my question.@
AThere are only three questions you need to ask yourself to find out if you=re in love.@
AOkay, what are the questions?@
AQuestion 1: What=s your favorite thing to do with this person?@
I rubbed my chin.  ASitting around and talking with them.@
AOkay . . . Question 2: Do her little quirks bother you?  And if not, what do you think of them?@
ANo, I enjoy them.@
AUh huh, last question: What=s the one thing you=d give her if you could?@
I thought about it for a couple seconds, then said, AHappiness.@
AEven if it meant you had to give up knowing her?@
AYes, even that.@
AI see.@  Mike sipped on his drink some more, the continued studying.
AHey!  So, am I?@
AAre you what?@ Mike said without lifting his eyes up.
AIn love?@
He looked up from his book and smiled.  AI think you know the answer already, I think you knew when you first asked for my opinion, you just need someone to say it out loud, that=s all.@
I nodded my head in understanding.  Now, I just had to figure out whether I should tell Audrey or not.

ASomething wrong?@
AHuh?@  I looked up from my food.  ANo . . . why?@
AYou=re awfully quiet today.  Anything happen?@
I continued playing with my food.  AYou might say that.@
ASo . . . tell me about it!@
AUm, maybe later.  I want to save it for the right moment.@
AIf you say so.@
I ate some of my food and changed the subject.  ASo what are your plans for the summer?@
Audrey suddenly had a glint in her eye and a smile on her lips.  She put down her utensils and leaned forward.  AI=m going home, working, and, guess who wants to get back together with me?@
I shook my head.  AWho?@
AAndy!@
AAndy?  Andy, I stayed home and found another love Andy?@
AThat Andy!@

I was bewildered, and it showed on my face.
Audrey continued.  AHe called me up last night and told me he broke up with his girlfriend!  He said he made a mistake letting me go and when he realized it, he dumped what=s-her-face and called me up.  He wants it back the way it was, and I was like >Me toooooooo!=.  I=m so excited!@
AAre you sure this isn=t just another ploy just to get you back?@
She shrugged her shoulders.  AI never thought of that, I=ve been too excited to think about the other possibilities.@
AUh huh, and you=re willing to forgive him of for just letting you go the first time?@
She nodded her head, then looked at me seriously.  AWhat do you think?  You think I should give him another chance?@
I stared at her for awhile and thought about what I should say.  I knew my feelings for her now, and if I gave her my approval, I might miss my chance with her.  I could tell her not to believe her old boyfriend and then tell her of my own feelings, then we could live happily ever after.  But, this was no fairytale romance, this was real life.  She loved Andy, and I loved her . . . it=s too bad you can=t choose who you fall in love with.  I thought about telling her of my feelings again when the conversation I had with Mike came up in my mind again.

AWhat=s the one thing you=d give her if you could?@
I thought about it for a couple seconds, then said, AHappiness.@
AEven if it meant you had to give up knowing her?@
AYes, even that.@

I knew what I had to tell her.  There would be time to be depressed and mourn my chance later, for now, it was time to give Audrey what she wanted.
I told her, AYeah, give him another chance.  He seems like he means what he says.@
AReally?@
AYes.  Like you said so long ago, you=re soulmates.  You belong together.@
She smiled her wide smile, one that reached her eyes.  This was the first time I=d seen her this happy, and I hoped she=d stay this way.
AThanks Lori, I knew you=d be honest with me.@
I smiled back at her as best I could.  ANo problem.  You two will be happy together.@
AThank you, I hope so.@
AOh, you will, I know it.@
Audrey smiled at me again, then leaned back and took a sip of her drink.  AOh, weren=t you going to tell me something?@
I shook my head, ANo, it=s nothing important.  Just have a great summer, okay?@
AOh, I will now!  You have a great summer too!@
AI=ll try.@
AGood!@
And that was that.

Finals came and went, and the semester was over.  I went home over the summer, as did most people, and kept busy with the internship I had gotten.  The summer flew by fast and before I knew it, I was back on the main campus for classes.  I looked Audrey up when I got back, but she wasn=t listed.  I waited for her to call me, but she never did.  I asked one of her friends what happened and she told me that Audrey had stayed home and was going to the regional college.  Apparently, Andy and her got engaged and she wanted to be close to him.  So I went on, finished college and got my degree.
I came back home and now I have a good career.  I still hang out with Mike and my other friends every once in a while, but it=s not the same.  We=re full grown adults now.  We can=t behave like we did back at college.  But, other than that, life is pretty good.  I don=t plan on getting married anytime soon, unless of course, I find that right one.  Then again, maybe I did, but I missed my chance.  Oh well.
I got a wedding invitation from Audrey and Andy the other day.  It=s about time they got married.  I=m really surprised she remembered me after all these years, and even more surprised she was able to track me down.  It should be fun seeing her again, we could reminisce about what happened in college all those years ago.  Shit, I still need to get my tuxedo fitted!  One more thing to do.

Well, the wedding wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be.  Normally, I hate weddings because they usually entail my friends getting hitched, but with this one, I hadn’t seen Audrey in ages, so it was nice just to see her again.
I’m no good at describing clothing, but I will say that Audrey’s dress was beautiful.  There weren’t a lot of frills, just a simple design.  Her trail wasn’t long either.  If she was anything like what I remembered in college, her dress matched her personality perfectly: a simple kind of beauty that didn’t need any decoration.
I didn’t pay attention to most of the ceremony.  I ran my memories of her through my mind.  I remembered every little detail, even how her lips felt from that kiss we shared when we first met.  Everything I just told you about.
The priest came to the part about where he asked if anyone objected to the marriage and that they should “speak now or forever hold their peace.”  I snapped back to the present and looked around to see if anyone was going to say anything.  I looked forward at the couple again and had the slightest urge to say something.  Then Audrey caught my gaze and held it for what seemed to be forever.  On her face was the biggest smile I had seen on anybody, and her eyes were smiling too.  I realized that she was happy . . . no, beyond happy.  She was overjoyed to be marrying the man that she loved, and who loved her back.  We hadn’t talked in ages, but we didn’t need to, because she said everything in the way she looked at me.  My unrequited love flickered and died in that moment, and it was replaced for the utmost happiness for her.  I felt my mouth contort into a smile, while not quite matching hers, gave her the message I wanted to tell her.  I was truly happy for her.
The priest continued, “By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife.  You may now kiss the bride.”
Andy took Audrey in his arms and they kissed.  Everyone stood up and gave them a roaring applause.  I joined in it too.
The reception was nice.  I didn’t know most of the people there, but the food was good and the drinks were excellent.  At the main table, the whole wedding party was abuzz.  People were coming up to the couple and congratulating them.  The photographer was taking picture after picture, asking the couple to do this, do that, kiss here, hold hands there.  The meals were served and the speeches were made.
I don’t know how, but Audrey eventually made her way to where I was sitting.  I stood up, we hugged, and sat then down to chat.
“I’m glad you could make it, Lori!  It’s great to see you again!”
“It’s great to see you too!  Congratulations!  I was wondering when you two were gonna tie the knot.
“Well, we did it!”
“You sure did!  No turning back now!”
We chuckled.  I noticed the smile hadn’t left her face yet.
	“I’m surprised that you remembered me after all these years, not to mention tracking me down to invite me to your wedding.”
	“Are you kidding?  You were one of my best friends back in the day!  Of course I had to invite you.  And tracking you down, well, you can do anything with the internet.”
	I laughed at her last comment.  “True, true.”
	“Soooooo,  how has your life been since college?”
	“Not bad.  I got my degree, got a good job, and have a simple life.”
	“Girlfriend?”
	“Nope.  You remember me and girls, we just don’t mix.”
	“Oh shut up, you know that’s not true.  You just need to find the right one.”
	I had to smile at the irony.
	“So what have you been up to since you moved back home?”
	“Wellllll, after finishing my degree, I went to graduate school.  That was tough, because my school was about 2 hours away from home, so Andy came down every weekend.”
	“Why didn’t he move down and stay with you?”
	“It would’ve been too expensive.  And he was working on his own master’s degree, so it was easier for him just to stay home.”
	“Ah.  Well, it looks like things worked out for the best.”
	She smiled again.  “They sure did!”
	She leaned forward and gave me big hug.  I reciprocated.
	“I’m really happy for you.”
	“Thanks!  I’m happy you could be here.”
	“I wouldn’t miss it!”
	We let each other go.
	“I better get back to the table.  Looks like Andy’s cousins are giving him a hard time.  They always do that!”
	I chuckled.  “Okay, Mrs. Andy.”
	She laughed.  “I thought I’d hate being called that, but it doesn’t bother.”
	“Well, good.  You keep in touch, okay?”
	“I will, you too!”
	“I will.”
	And with that, she left.

	After I got home, I resumed with my life.  It felt good to see Audrey again and finally put my feelings for her aside.  To see her so happy was all I needed.  I knew that she would remain that way too, and that was very comforting.  I also knew that she wouldn’t keep her promise of staying in touch.  She was married now, she had new responsibilities and no doubt she would be raising a family later, if not sooner.  I could do the work of staying in touch, but it would be hard for me to fit anywhere in her life.  We had lost touch already, and there really was no reason to change that.
	I am thankful I got to see Audrey one more time.  I’m thankful that the last time I saw her, she was happy, and that I was able to be happy for her.  Maybe I’ll find someone like her again in my life.  Or maybe I’ll find someone completely different who I’ll fall for and who will fall for me too.  Who knows.  I’ll keep my hopes up.