Fucking Christ. Again, nothing that I am involved in could ever possibly go right. That would be too convenient for me. Yeah, so this is how things went...

I sat at work all day and didn't do anything. No, really. Nothing. Johnny came and got me and we stopped home. He was kind enough to let me borrow twenty bucks so I left Boston with a hundred dollars pocket money. I got out of work at three, got a ride home from Johnny, was home for a little less than fifteen minutes, and then headed to the bus station. The bus was scheduled to leave at 3:30 p.m. I ended up just making it because traffic sucked a fat one. Just made it, though. I rode on a Peter Pan bus. Those are super phatty. They have tellies in them. We got to watch Finding Forrester on the way to NYC. There were some cute little twins sitting in the front seat. They must have been about eight or so, dressed alike, adorable.

Got on the bus to Chicago. I got a window seat. It was sweet. I slept and listened to How it Feels to be Something on... by Sunny Day Real Estate. The scenery on the way there was gorgeous. I could see for miles. Everything was just fields and farms. There were things I called "irragation monsters" that stretched over the fields. Some of them must have been about a mile long. They were pretty scary. There were a lot of them too. It was a gorgeous trip to Chicago, though. I didn't feel the 23 hours at all. It was fucking cake.

I arrived in Chicago at about 1:30 p.m. "Chicago-time." They're on central time there. Took me a little while to figure that out. I'm really smart, that's why. I was going to walk to the conservatory, but I figured fuck it, I'm hungry, so I stopped at a small little, slightly ghetto, pizza place. Got some fries. It was cool, they were cheap. I guess in the middle of America they don't try to rip you off on fries like they do in the East. Ate some fries. Asked a nice (he was freaky looking, that's why I started to talk to him. One of my own kind, likesay.) man for directions to the subway and he was awesome and gave them to me and told me where to switch lines and all. I finished up and went to the subway and took it to the conservatory. It was a gorgeous ride over the city in the T. A lot of Chicago is slummy, it seems, or bunches of abandoned buildings, but it was still cool. I like my cities a little ghetto, a little dirty. I don't like it when things are too clean, it seems as though it is impossible to have fun when they are like that. Makes sense to me. Fuck you.

So I rode atop Chicago. It was cool. The area that the conservatory is in is absolutley beautiful. There's a little park around it and everything. Wonderful. It was cheap to get in, like two bucks or something and I decided right then if we had a conservatory in Boston I would hang out there all the time. The air was cleaner and sweeter. It was as though I was no longer in the US, but someplace else where there were no worries. The plants were comforting. Kind of interesting mixing the outdoors with a hardcore trip eh? What can I say? I'm classy lol. There was a special exhibit within the conservatrory. Some big shot glass guy made all these trippy looking glass arrangments and they were placed throughout the building among the plants. It was really cool. They were in the oddest places sometimes. Look up, there's a bunch of colorful glass. How the fuck did it get there? The conservatory was mad cool, though. It was interesting to smell and feel the air in each of the different rooms. The diofferent smells reminded me of different places I have been. It was nice. I got my mom something fromt eh gift shop for Christmas. I think it would be funny to tell her where it was from.

I got back on the T and took it to Fullerton Ave. The club I was going to was on Fullerton. This made perfect sense to me. So I got off, ducked into the first little grocery store I saw to get some food, and came out, ready to face the world. Well, I needed to get to 2648 Fullerton. Fuck me. So I had a lot of walking to do. I stopped briefly in the public library to send a funny email out to my friends and see if Mike Flemming had actually bothered to email me back (he lives in Chicago). Well, Mike didn't and I tried to send the email, but one of the addys was wrong so the entire thing wasn't sent. Whatever. So I laughed at the dumb computer and went on my merry way.

I kept walking and walking. Went past a mall, went past numerous bus stops. There was actually a bus following me, but I wanted to take the walk. Be badass. There was a section of sidewalk that was so high up off the road that at intersections there were steps down. That was pretty funny. When I saw the bowling pin I knew that was the club. The Fireside Bowl. There was a punk kid with a Santa Claus hat standing outside. I paid my way in and saw that the place was really small, as Mike Flemming had told me, but it was okay. Kind of dumpy, but cool. The ceiling above the stage was falling down, but that added a certain element of charm if you ask me. There was even a gumball machine that sold earplugs. I thought that was great. That's even cooler than if it sold condoms. I walked around for a little bit and then went to go ask the doorman if Santa Sangre was playing because I knew their van was a POS and could have broken down and really, I wanted to hear him say "Yes, they're playing tonight at (this time)." So I asked a guy behind the counter.
"Is Santa Sangre playing tonight?"
"I don't really know who's playing tonight..." He smelled like weed.

So I went and asked the doorman.
"Is Santa Sangre playing tonight?"
"No, they broke up."
"Yeah right."
"They did. Called today. Their van broke down, two guys got in a fight and they broke up."
"They did this to me the last time I went to go see them. Fuck!"
"You know any of the guys in the band? Buske?"
"Yeah, Buske, Jonathan Dennison, and Kevin."
"Yeah Buske and that other guy has a history of breaking up their bands, getting them back together, only to break them up again... Another Victim, not Santa Sangre.."
"Yeah but Another Victim is now The Promise and they're not going to mess that up. Do you have a pay phone?"

I couldn't listen to him stand there and rip down my friends or even people from my hometown for that matter. He seemed like a nice guy and all so I decided it was better to get away than to lose my temper. I went and called Josh at the Sound Garden. He laughed at me and told me I need to get a new hobby. He was impressed I went to the conservatpry. I guess he didn't think I was all about getting my learn on while I was making this trip. I spoke with Geoff for a little while, damn that boy is fucking annoying, and then I got off the phone. I was feeling incredibly low. Despite the fact that I was in the hometown of Ringworm and there was a kid walking around in a Godbelow shirt. I meant to talk to that kid, but I ended up not having the chance. I didn't even really want to be at the show. I just wanted to go back to the bus station and throw myself into the stories of Middle Earth and forget that one of my favorite bands had fallen apart. I stayed, though. I felt as though I should. Show some 315 support to the Chicago crew.

I don't know what the name of the first band was, it was a guy from Up In Arm's new band. It was their second show ever so they weren't too on the ball, but whatever. The lead singer was this tall lanky guy who is apparently somewhat of a legend there or something. They were from Wisconsin. They were all right. The singer kept doing the same moves on stage and they didn't look all that convincing, but whatever. He was trying, y'know? They had one song that was "Straight Edge is the Best" or something. It was kind of funny because the song was so lame. I couldn't tell whether he was serious or whether he was ripping on those kids. I think he was serious, but... They were just kind of lame. They tried and all, but...

The Killing Tree were up next. I don't know how to describe them, but I really dug them. They have a demo coming out soon on a record label. I took a flyer for it with all the information and I haven't looked at the flyer yet. But the Killing Tree were really sweet. I guess one of the guys from Arma Angelus is in the Killing Tree too, but I wasn't close enough to see.

That band finished and I went to check out the merch. I couldn't go talk to my friends because I didn't have any there. I went and checked out the 100 Demons merch and remembered they played Boston so I asked one guy behind the table where they were from. He said Conneticut. I wasn't going to stay and chat with them. My band broke up and they looked pretty fucking scary anyway. I went and bought the Arma Angelous album and tried buying an Up in Arms/ Eternal Youth split. I gave the guy (singer from the lame band) a ten and he said he didn't want to make chage and just to take it. Pretty sweet. I wanted to tell him that he was trying to sell those in entirely the wrong market, but whatever. So I got an Eternal Youth 7". Grant used to be in Eternal Youth. So was one of the guys in The Funeral. Walking back to the stage I saw a guy walk in. He just looked big and dumb. Like Ben Affleck in Dazed and Confused. He just looked big and dumb. White t-shirt too small, jeans... he looked dumb. But I caught myself, That's not fair. You don't know him. Do not make judgments....

Arma Angelus took the stage and rocked it out. One of the guys was so funny. He kept making goofy faces. I took lots of pictures. Maybe they'll come out. ---> They were really good, though. I liked them a lot and I had been meaning to see them play for a little while since they've been plastered all over the Eulogy site. So they were awesome. Kids were getting their mosh on, I was trying to hide behind other people. I was far too tired to deal with moshing kids. Then big dumb boy proved he really was big and dumb by throwing himself into another kid (keep in mind the few of us on the left side that are making up the "wall" of the pit are all right next to the wall of the club) so that poor guy got tossed into the wall behind him. As he does this, Big Dumb Kid swings his leg back in a really bad karate style type thing and hammers me right in the side. I have a nice bruise and I was doubled over for a but. Thanks Big Dumb Kid, you truly are big and dumb.

So Arma, as the kids call them, rocked out hard. It was actually their album release party. Sweet.

I left after Arma played because my heart really wasn't into being there. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Or forget my life. I asked the guy at the door how to get to the nearest subway station and it was actually a hell of a lot closer than the walking thing I did. Figures. He was a really nice guy. Told me to have a safe trip and all. Very sweet. I like the people in Chicago.

I took the subway back to the bus station without a problem. Got some fries from the Greyhoung fast food place (you want sketch food, that shit is sketch. But it's also surprisingly cheap!). I sat down at a table by myself and fell into The Fellowship of the Ring and my fries. People came and went. I was there three hours early or something like that. An older gentleman and a younger guy sat next to me and were shooting the shit about love and all. They had just decided to hang out in the bus station or something I guess. I was afraid to look up from my book in case they tried to invite me into their conversation. I didn't want to talk.

They got up and left and a weird guy resembling Matt Tiffault (you Westhill kids know who I am talking about) sat down. I had the hummus out infront of me I bought at the grovcery store.
"Is that ready to eat hummus and pita?"
"Yeah." Obviously.
"Wow. I've never seen that before. Is the hummus good?"
"Not bad."
"Where did you get it?"
"A grocery store."

I went back to Lord of the Rings quite contently and he went back to doing what looked like schoolwork. After about another hour he started asking me more questions. I figured maybe if I talked with him for a little while he'd shut up. Not a chance. He kept going. And he was one of those kids that thought he knew everything. What a deuchbag. When I told him I liked emo he asked if I knew where it started.
"Because I always ask people that say they like emo where it started and they never know."
"I'd have to say Rites of Spring started it all."
"No, it was Sunny Day Real Estate."
You dumb fuck....

So I knew I was fucked. I love Sunny Day and I know more than your average amount about them, but they by no means started emo. It is known by everyone that Rites of Spring was one of the first bands to bridge into emo. Emo didn't sound like Sunny Day back then. So this kid was pissing the hell out of me. Fucking annoying. I wanted to go back to my book.

So my bus finally came. With my outstanding luck, this kid, Aaron, was also on it. So he sat next to me. And bitched and talked the entire way. I wanted nothing more than for him to shut the fuck up. I fell asleep at one point and he woke me up to say, "Wow, I was talking one minute and you were snoring the next. You must be really tired. I can't sleep, I'm an insomniac..." This kid was telling me about the time he spent in the mental hospital - Hey buddy, anyone ever tell you there are certain things you're not supposed to tell people you don't know? This classifies! Then it was all about the differnt drugs he did, but even those stories weren't interesting. It was like he was trying to make himself seem cool because he took shrooms. How fucking lame. Yeah, I'm cool because I do drugs. Shut the fuck up!!!. I managed to get him to shut his trap for about three hours or so, but even then he was waking me up every time we stopped. Even if it was for a TOLL BOOTH.

When we finally got to Cleveland I had to hang out at the bus station until I could try to call Tricia. It was too early to call her right then, though. So I sat down to enjoy some more Lord of the Rings. Not a chance. Aaron had an hour layover. I was so pissed. He sat down and tried to talk to me. I kept looking at the book in my hands, hoping he might get the hint. 'Course not. Every time he got up to go to the bathroom or check the bus times thing (C'mon, who really checks that? It's a fucking bus. It gets there when it gets there. No one checks that little Arrivals/Departures thing in the Greyhound station) I would return to Frodo and his companions. Finally that kids bus left. I was really waiting for him to ask for my email or something. I would have given him John's or something. Johnny would have had some rather curt words to say to him for sure. Nah! Even better! Buck! Buck is the man. Buck can cut people down right nicely. But luckily, he did not ask and I sure wasn't going to offer. After he left I got some more Greyhound fries and sat down with Frodo, Gandalf, Pippen, Merry, Aragorn, and co. At about 11 a.m. I called Tricia. No one was home. Left message. I headed out to explore. I stopped into a hotel and asked where the nearest mall was and on the way there I decided, Fuck that, I'm going to the rock and roll hall of fame! and got directions from a cop. Going there was actually a really good thing, I walked past the subway station I would need later. I bought my lil bro a Cleveland Browns shirt. He'll appreciate it because I tell him where I go. He'll get to joke.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame was pretty cool. Not as cool as I thought it would be, but I guess I really didn't know what to expect. I called Brushy Brush Brush and Tricia again. Neither were home. I saw the John Lennon display and that was pretty cool, if not a little disturbing. They had his bloodstained clothing and spectacles there on display. That made me very sad. It was cool seeing that display, though. I wrote out a card to put on the "John Lennon tree of wishes." On the second floor, in the corner, was a vase with a rose in it. I went to check that out and someone had placed it there "to George Harrison". That was nice. Sad, but nice. In the front of the building there was a small picture of George and incense that was burning in his honor. I got a patch and some postcards from there. Everything was expensive and it was fifteen bucks to get in so... I was running low on the dosh.

I got out and made my way to the club. I don't like the people in Cleveland as much as the people in Chicago. I got off at one subway station, they told me I had to take it in one more. I went in one more. They told me one more. What the fuck?

I finally got off at the right one and got to the club. It looked closed or something. There was no one there and it looked very dead. The schedule on the door only went up to 30 November. I thought it would be just perfect that the place closed. I walked around to the side and saw a parking lot. I recognized the guys there as the guys from 100 Demons. I decided to go say hello.
"What are you doing here? You follow us or something?" asked a big guy.
"No!"

I hung out with them because, well, I had nothing better to do. Where was I going to go? Nowhere. Maybe McDonalds. One of the other bands playing that night pulled up and these younger, really happy kids got out. One of them went up to a 100 Demons guy and introduced himself as "Dustin from Death is Prevailing" or something. It was funny. Vic from 100 Demons had a fucking field day with them. That guy is really hysterical. So mean it's great. He just makes fun of everything and everyone. And he's good at it too. So I stood around with them. Dustin called the promoter, and apparently she "had a bad night last night" that kept her from getting to the club by five. Kiss my ass. So she showed up about six or so and said load in wasn't for another hour or something. Vic went over to talk to her and got $30 out of her by asking where his food money was. Classy. So Vic, Bubba, Rich, Jay, and I went to "My Friend's Cafe and Deli" or whatever the fuck it was called. They had beer battered fries. Vic and Bubba used the dosh that was meant for the other guys on themselves. They did give Jay and Rich their fill, though. Bubba and Vic told me about how Rich always steal equipment for the band. It was funny. A guy from Hatebreed used to be in 100 Demons, Sean, and they always get compared to Hatebreed now and shit. I think they have a love-hate relationship with them.

We ate, I laughed a lot. We left. Went back to the club. I found out it was owned by the lead singer from Warrant. That was a constant source of amusement for the night. Vic was hysterical...
"I just want to go up to him and be like, 'Dude! You were in Warrant? You guys were awesome! I love 'Cherry Pie' and.... wait, you didn't have anything else, huh?'"

We hung out outside the club for awhile. Another band had pulled up. The Funeral showed up. I wanted to run up and hug Buske. I didn't. He came out and said hi to the singer from 100 Demons, Goat, and gave him the "bro hug" and then said hi to me. Told me Santa Sangre broke up. I told him I knew. I asked them if they needed help moving stuff in, but they assured me they didn't. I recognized two guys and one short little guy looked vaguely familiar. It was awesome seeing Syracuse kids. The 100 Demons guys and I migrated back to their van.

Rich and Jay were smoking copius amounts of weed and I stood there and laughed. I hung out there with them for awhile and then headed in to see if anyone was playing. No. There were five bands on the bill and no one was playing yet. What the fuck? Someone said the sound guy wasn't there yet. Whatever. I sat down with Brad and Vic. Brad's really cute. His demeneor reminded me of someone, but I was not sure who. We hung out and went to see if "Cherry Pie" was in the jukebox, but unfortuntaely it was not. We laughed at the promoter ("She's the type of girl that is into hardcore to meet guys - I can tell." - Vic). She would randomly yell to no one in the club about her problems. It was ridiculous. She always needed attention.

I remembered I had those burned CDs for Buske so I took them out and went and gave them to him. He was very nice about it. We talked, well, I listened to him talk (just as good) for about fifteen minutes and then some of The Funeral guys came over and I left, not wanting to taint the conversation that Buske and I had by sticking sround too long where I was not wanted. I was thrilled that he had talked with me and that it seemed as though we were on decent terms. I decided at least one good thing had come out of this trip. I hung out with the 100 Demons kids for awhile longer. Brad and I went to go get the merch (AKA told Rich to bring the merch in). They eventually did. The promoter went to pick up Arma Angelus.

The first band finally took the stage. They were pretty good. I ended up buying their demo. Then The Funeral was setting up. I kept checking ym watch because I had a subway and then a bus to catch, but I stayed because I had to see The Funeral. I was quite excited to see them play. I had missed every Syracuse 'Funeral show and was quite excited to see them play. They did not disappoint. Buske was great on the guitar even though it was not his band. Ryan Hex is an amazing frontman. When he was up there, even though he is only slightly bigger than I am, with the energy he was putting off I was sure he could kick the ass of anyone present. They were awesome. After two songs or so one of the guys in Arma asked if everyone practiced the hardcore stomp (he didn't put it that way, that's what I call it) at the breakdowns or if everyone was copying Buske.
"It's a Syracuse thing, you wouldn't understand."
Coolest line of the night... I was proud watching them. I was proud that they were from my hometown and that I was watching "the hometown boys do good." They finished and I looked at my watch and saw it was definitely time to go. I bought my 'Funeral demo, finally, and told Ryan he put on a great show.
"Are you from Syracuse?"
"Yeah."
"You work at the Sound Garden!"
"Yeah."
"You came all the way from Syracuse here??"
I explained I had come for Santa Sangre Weekend part II, but that I was quite ecstatic to see them play as well, since I had missed the other Funeral shows in Syracuse because of work and all. I also told him that I was from Syracuse and that I went to school in Boston and came from Boston. It seemed like he was impressed or something. He told the other guys in the band, including Buske. I told them it was important that I go, but that it was good meeting/seeing them and I looked forward to seeing them play again. There was a round of handshakes and Buske came up and I offered a handshake and he gave me a "bro-hug." I was giddy. We were friends. Finally. I said goodbye to Rich (every other Demon had disappeared somewhere. Brad and Vic to the bars, the others were out getting stoned and getting munchies). I walked up to the subway station and waited for about fifteen minutes. A thing that looked like the subway from a distance came... when it got closer it was some weird machine that ran on the tracks but was definitely in no way a subway. When it passed some kid asked me if I knew that the subway had stopped running and wasn't going to be around until 3 a.m. He told me where I could pick up the bus, but seeing as though I was going to have to transfer and all, I knew I would get desperately lost and miss my bus.

I ran back to the club. Everyone was standing outside. I told Brad what happened and asked if I could have a ride. He said it was no problem. The Funeral was packing up. Even though it was obvious they could have used some help, no one was even holding the door open for them. I manned the door for awhile and then went back to talk with the Demon boys. There I learned that they had been expecting to play on The Funeral's equipment and that they could not play their set because The Funeral was leaving. A girlfriend of one of The Funeral guys had gotten jumped or something so they were anxious to go home. The other kids didn't care. There were a lot of insults being thrown at them. And threats. I felt quite uncomfortable. I wanted to crawl into a corner and die, in fact. Rich was really getting into it and all sorts of pissed off. I followed Vic and Brad inside. I was scared. Kids were tlaking shit outside to The Funeral and there was just all sorts of trouble brewing. I was sure a fight was going to start and that everyone from Syracuse was going to get his/her respective ass kicked. If anything started I was going to be the first (and probably the only) person to jump in there and try to stop it. Warrant man showed up and was trying to appease everyone, but to no avail. Brad sat with me at the bar as Vic went outside to see what was going on.
"Well this weekend sucked. Sucked for you too, huh? Your band breaking up and all. But at least you got to see your other friend's band play. Which one were they?"
I didn't say anything.
"OH! THEM??"
"Yeah."
"You're not allowed to be friends with them anymore."

We sat for awhile longer and I had to listen to them trash-talk The Funeral. It isn't easy when your new friends are bashing local kids that you consider your friends (even if it's just because you come from the same town. I have a lot of Syracuse pride). It was determined 100 Demons was not playing and we set off on our way. It was about 12:15 a.m. We all piled into the van (after packing it up) and were on our way. I sat on the floor. All was quiet, bar the occassional negative comment directed towards 100 Demons. I felt very uncomfortable. Bubba navigated and jay drove and got me to the bus station. I got out and thanked them profusely and rushed inside, hoping the bus was still there. It was. I got at the end of the line. They filled up two buses, cutting the line off two people infront of me, and sent them on their way. The four of us remaining had to wait. And wait we did. We made jokes about how we should get our own bus for the four of us and made threats ("If I miss my connection...). It was a lot of fun. The guy infront of me thought the boy behind me and I were together. We laughed and shook our heads. We were just talking to one another a lot. He was cute. He had blonde hair and although he was preppy, he had a biting dry sense of humor that I really liked. I was attracted to him. Greyhound Inc. made us wait until about 1:30 a.m. until another set of buses came. By then there was a massive line behind us. All the reboards got to board before us and as most of the line looked like reboards we groaned. The reboards went on one bus, though, and they directed us to another. I was third on. I grabbed a window and the boy behind me asked if he could sit with me since the bus was going to be full anyways. I replied that was fine. I was happy. We talked for at least an hour once the bus started moving. About our lives, annoyances on the bus, everything. His name was John and he was going to New Yor to pack up his apartment and take the stuff back to Austin with him. Or Arizona. One of them. I was thoroughly exhausted, but still massively attracted to this boy. He kept looking me in the eyes and it made me uncomfortable, yet it drew me to him. Odd, I know. It was very strange anyways, being attracted to a boy on the bus and all. When I could bear being awake no more I told him I was going to sleep and that, to piss him off, I was going to lean on him. He said it would not piss him off at all. I told him it just might. I shut my eyes and then he leaned over and asked if I wanted to kiss him. We made out like we were in high school on the fucking Greyhound. A couple different times throughout the night. He held me when I slept. We arrived in New York City and said goodbye. It was somewhat surreal, in a sense. I couldn't believe it had all happened. It was so fucking weird. But nice in a strange way. I caught the bus to Boston and sat next to a woman that didn't talk to me the whole ride, but offered me her ice cream when we stopped at Roy Rogers. Weird. What a fucking weekend... How is it that I have such a fucked up life?