9 October 2001

Well, where to begin. Geocities was fucked up yesterday so I was unable to update this and relate the Mikey birthday story. That's okay, though, because he went out and got fucked up last night too. Good for him. To start on his actual birthday...
I got off work at four on Tuesday and went to hang out with Kevin for a bit. We smoked a couple stoges and then headed up to Newbury Street to get the new Strokes album. I could have bought it over the weekend, but that's no fun at all. It's much more fun making the walk up there on the day it's released with a good friend. Don't ask me why. So we did that, I invited him over, but he was busy, so I went home. Got home late. It was about six thirty or so. No one else was home. I thought that was weird. The phone rang and I was all excited because I knew it was one of my roommates. It was Mikey.
"Is John or Brad there?"
"No, no one's home. Why?"
"Well, I'm, at the hospital with a full cast on my leg and..."
"Mikey! What did you do??"
I thought he got into a car accident. I really did. He told me what had happened, though. His foot had been hurting for awhile and started really hurting this week. Got it checked out and they said, "yeah, that's fucking broken." (althoough not in those words) On his birthday! And no one was home that could go pick him up. Poor Mikey! Well, he got off the phone with me and then almost immediately Johnny came home and then the two of us tried to track him down (there are a lot of hospitals in Boston) and when we did, yeah, he was already gone.
Well, Mikey got home and almost immediately we all piled back into John's car to go back to the hospital. Fun times. John and I rode in Mikey's car on the way back and got relatively lost. Heather drove John's car and tried to find a parking space for an hour before coming back all flustered.
"I need to make some calls, get something to eat, get drunk, and get stoned."
"That order's a good one, don't reverse it, okay?"
So Mikey made his calls and then we decided to kill two birds with one stone and go to Our House to eat. So novel! Johnny and Heather were going to meet us there since they had to go park Johnny's car. We started out and Mikey's good on the crutches, he was giving me pointers (for when I break my foot I guess) on how to walk with them. We got a little less than a block away from Our House and Johnny came running over and ended up lifting Mikey up on his back and giving him a piggy back ride to the bar. Funny shit.
Brad was at the door looking all spiffy in his shirt and tie. He cleans up nice. He was only working for about a half hour or so when we got there so that was cool because he could join us. I got the "heaping basket of fries" and the other kids got burgers. We laughed at Mikey because he got the "yuppie" burger. he was asking the waitress why it was called a Yuppie burger and all, it was amusing. Even better, before he ordered Brad came over to the table and asked Mike if he was getting the Yuppie.
Food came, it was good. They gave us a lot. There was no way I could finish all those fries if I tried. Too many. Far too many.
Brad joined us and started talking with a cute doorman that came on the shift after him. I asled Brad his name, but he didn't know, so he asked the bartender for me. His name is Rob. Our waitress changed and we got a really cool girl named Dosha. She was really cute and friendly and Mikey liked her. It was cute. Once Brad joined us, though, he really proceeded to go and fuck Mikey up. Oh that poor boy didn't stand a chance. We figured out last night that he had the equivalent of eleven shots that night, in about two hours. Yeah, not a chance! Brad kept bringing him weird drink after weird drink. Mikey was good for awhile and was just downing them, then he started to slow down, his face got crimson and the eyes started to squint a little. Poor Mikey. After tequila, a car bomb, a Mongolian Motherfucker, and I don't even know what else, that kid was beat. He told Johnny all he wanted was an iced tea. So Johnny got him a Long Island Iced Tea. Mikey was just looking at it with a look on his face like, "fuck..." Dosha would come over and encourage him to drink more and that would only frustrate him more because he liked her so of course he would do it.
All the while the things coming out of everyone's mouths were hysterical. I was laughing so hard! Out of control. There was more talk about Brian Verzella and how perfect he is. Mikey was horrified that Johnny turned him down this weekend. I believe his exact words were something like, "What? But why? He's perfect! He can sing and dance and..(the list went on)" Brad also chimed in on how perfect Brian was and I might have said a few words as well. We were saying all sorts of things that should have been out of line, but weren't. That's really not all that crazy for our apartment, though, everyone always tries to step over The Line.
It was fun, though. I kept looking over my shoulder at Rob, Heather and Johnny were checking out the smooth bouncer at the door. I forgot his name, but I think it begins with an "L." Mikey was hitting on everyone.
At one point, Brad asked Mike if the three girls at the table behind him came over and told him to finish his drink, would he do it? Mikey said that was a challenge and Brad got up, went and chatted up the girls, and soon they were saying, "Happy birthday Mike!" and telling him to drink. Mike said he didn't have to finish the drink because the girls never came over to our table. Well, of course after he said that they got up and came over. Jessa, Kate, and Emily. They signed his cast. It was funny. Mikey was checking out Jessa's ass as she bent down to sign his cast and she had her arm around him and was bouncing her breasts in his face. Yes, he did look. It was pretty obvious. Mikey did finish the drink, though, and then we headed home.
Now let me say, I adore Mikey as I do all my roommates, but I share the special bond with him because we are the ones that want to go out and find someone and we are the ones that see nothing wrong with doing something dumb every once in awhile. That being said, there are few things that are funnier than a drunk guy on crutches. Especially Mikey because he is stubborn and won't let you help him. He was hauling down the street three times faster than when he was going to the bar and sober. Every thirty-forty seconds he'd almost fall and stop for a breather. He was all beligerent and yelling at us, telling us to leave him and all. That was funny. Leave you, Mikey? Sure. Meet you back at the apartment... When he got to the intersection of Glenville and Long Ave, all of a sudden he started hauling ass. We were watching and he was just blatantly off mark. I yelled something like "Watch out for the car" and Brad told him that he had to turn or else he'd hit the car... Well he didn't listen to any of us and he was lying on the hood of that car like it came out of nowhere. It was absolutely fucking hysterical. Heather almost pissed her pants, neither of us could stand up. it was great. We were leaning on the fence for support.
We got Mike up the stairs. I made sure to walk behind him because I was almost positive he was going to fall. He didn't though. He was a good boy. He rested right before the final staircase (I don't blame him, it looks very imposing) and I told him again that he was my favorite roommate. Every time I say that to him, whether he's drunk or sober, he always yells, "I'm your only roommate."
"But you are my favorite."
"Okay, whatever."
And then he laughed and hopped up the stairs. He was very funny. At the top of the stairs he announced where he was going and shouted, "Couch!" and then went and flopped down on it. I took off his shoe and put it in his room because it was obvious he was going to pass out there. Brad and Johnny baited Mikey a little bit to make him say some stupid shit, especially about Brian Virzella. Brad taped Mikey for awhile, and then he was passed out ten minutes after we all left to get ready for bed. Silly Mikey.