Q: If a Punk and a Skin are in the back of a car, who's in front?
A: A cop.

Q: An apartment building in Philly has Skins living on the first floor, Punks on the second, and Hippies on the third. One day a big fire burns the building to the ground. Who survived?
A: The Skins. They were at work.

Q: How many Punks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three. 1 to screw it in and 2 to argue about who did it first.

Q: Q: How many Punks does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, Punks can't change a thing.

Q: How many Straight-Edge kids does it take to drink a case of beer?
A: One, if no one's looking.

Q: What has 8 arms and kills its girlfriend?
A: Squid Vicious.

Q: How many punks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: An entire community of them. A few to actually screw it in, and all the others to talk about all the social changes that will come due to screwing in the bulb, and how they were arrested by the cops for it. \

Q: Why did the punk rocker cross the road?
A: He was stapled to a chicken.

Q: How many punks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Five. One to do it and four to write a zine about it.

Q: Why are cops buried 12 feet in the ground instead of the normal six feet?
A: Because deep down they're really good people.

Q: What do you call a bunch of racist skinheads at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.

Q: How many Emo kids does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Ten. One to change it, one to write a sad song about it, and eight to sing along and cry.

Q: How many Straight Edges does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, they don't screw

Q: How many Rudeboys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Four. One to drop it and 3 to "pick it up!pick it up!pick it up!"

Q: How many Skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Ten. 1 to screw it in and 9 to watch his back.

Q: How many skaters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A; Two, one to do it and one to film it.

Q: What do you call a skinhead fish?
A: An Oi-ster.

Q: How many Punks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Twenty. 1 to screw it in and 19 to call him a sellout.

Q: How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, they're all to depressed to do it.

Q: How many punks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two - One to screw it in and the other to kick the chair out from under him.

Q: How many punks does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Ten. One to change the bulb and nine on the guest list.

Q: How many Emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five. One to change it and four to pass out lyrics.

Q: What do you call a Punk without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.

Q: How many Punks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Punks only screw in a puddle of vomit

Q: What's a Street Punk's favorite seafood?
A: Crust-acean.

Q: How do you get a one-armed Punk out of a tree?
A: Throw him a beer.

Q: How do you get a Punk out of a bathtub?
A: Turn on the water.

Q: What do you call a Gutter Punk's weather-proofed home?
A: A dry dumpster.

Q: Where do you find all the Gutter Punks after a hard rain?
A: In the sewer 'cause they've been washed down a drain.

Q: How many Riot Grrrls does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. They just have the men do it for them.

Q: What do you call a bunch of Skinheads playing classical music?
A: An Oi!chestra.

Q: Why do anarchists drink only herbal tea?
A: Because proper tea is theft.

Q: What do you call the President's son if he's a Skinhead?
A: The First B"Oi".

Q: What's the difference between a hippie and a trampoline?
A: You take off your boots before you jump on a trampoline.

Q: What do you call a bunch of Skinheads at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.

Q: Three drunken Skinheads jump off a roof. One Skin had been drinking Guinness, the second Fosters and the third Skin enjoyed Blatz. Which one hits the ground first?
A: Who the hell cares?

Q: How many punks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Twenty-one. One to hold the lightbulb and twenty to drink until the room spins!

Q: How many punks does it take change a lightbulb?
A: Four. One to stand on a chair to screw it in, one to kick the chair out from him, one to say how punk rock that was, and the 4th to say, "shut the fuck up, mike"

Q: How many Goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. They're all alone.

Q: How many Goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They like to sit in the dark.

Q: How many Goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One hundred. One to put in a new one & drop the old one on the floor, and ninety-nine to slit their wrists on the broken glass.

A young punker gets on the cross-town bus. He's got spiked, multicolored hair that's green, purple, and orange. His clothes are a tattered mix of leather and rags. His legs are bare and he's without shoes. His entire face and body are riddled with piercings and his earrings are big, bright feathers. He sits down in the only vacant seat, directly across from an old man who just glares at him for the next ten miles. Finally, the punk gets self conscious and barks at the old man, "What are you looking at you old fart? Didn't you ever do anything wild when you were young?" Without missing a beat, the old man replies, "Yeah! Back when I was young and in the Navy, I got really drunk one night in Singapore and I f--ked a parrot. I thought maybe you were my son."

Two straight edge guys were out walking home from work one afternoon."Shit," said the first guy, "as soon as I get home, I'm gonna rip the wife's underwear off!" "What's the rush?" his mate asked. "The fucking elastic in the legs is killing me," he replied.

A punk, A skin, and a mod walk into a bar. The bartender hands them each a beer with a fly in it. The mod turns the beer away. The punk just drinks the beer in spite of the fly, and the skin grabs the fly by the wings and yells " spit it out! spit it out you bastard!"

Q: What do you call a punk hitchhiker?
A: Stranded.

Q: How many goths does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, one to do the work and the other to tell her how goth she is for doing it.

Q: How do you hide money from a Hippie?
A: Hide it under the soap.

Q: How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None they light candles.

Q: How do you get a goth out a tree?
A: Cut the rope.

Q: How do The Damned drink their Scotch?
A: Neat Neat Neat.

Q: How many times does a skinhead laugh at a joke?
A: Three...once when he hears it, once when it's explained to him, and once when he gets it.

Q: How do you wake up a Gutter Punk?
A: Open the car door.

Q: How do you know when a Gutter Punk has been to your house?
A: He's still there.

Q: How many Mods does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to change it and three to watch out for punks.

Q: What's so tragic about four ravers driving off a cliff in a Honda Civic?
A: The car seats five

A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "either of you know how to starve a punk?" The priest looks at the rabbi, the rabbi looks back. They both shrug. "Hide his food stamps under his work boots!"

Q: How many Riot Girrls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, one to screw in the light and another to say how much better it was than if a man did it.

Q: What kind of soap does a skinhead wash with?
A: Oi of Olay!!!!

Q: What does a skinhead buy at the grocery store??
A: ChipsAoi!

Q: How does a (racist) skinhead tie his shoes?
A: In little Nazis.

Q: How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Five, One to screw it in and the rest to explain he's not a nazi cos he did it.

Q: What's orange and looks good on hippies?
A: Fire.

Q: What does the bumper sticker on a skin's car say?
A: "My Boss was an Austrian Painter".

Q: Why was the Dead Boy groupie frigid?
A: Cause she was below Zero.

Q: Why did Stiv Bators cross the road?
A: Cause he was fucking the chicken.

Q: Why did the punk cross the road?
A: Who cares? Fuck you!

Q: How many goths does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: What does it matter? We're all gonna die anyway.