Someone once told me that watching a movie with an audience was an important part of the movie-going experience. A movie is made for the enjoyment of a variety of people for them to laugh, cry, brood and every other emotion. We, as a collective, share the movie and our experiences with each other. There are times when we are different: One person might see a scene and laugh, while another may cry. Then there are times when it is universal when we all cry or laugh at the same scene. Sometimes we laugh just because someone else is laughing so hard that we can�t help but be amused. Or there are times when you are not laughing when you are suppose to and feel validated when the rest of the audience isn�t. This is when we feel like we are part of something, a family if you will. And that is when you are part of the movie-going experience.
Now for a person, who watches at least six movies a week, you would think that I would love going to the movie theatre and feast upon this �family� atmosphere. Well let me say that this piece of logic is incorrect. I hate going to the theatre, not because of the theatre itself (well sometimes that too), but what is in that theatre. The first statement I wrote in the beginning of this essay might have been true years ago, but it certainly doesn�t apply to theatres now. As an example, I will recite an incident that happened to me while going to see Traffic on Jan 20, 2001 (Times Square, NYC):
My friend and I arrived twenty minutes before the movie started, as we agreed to sit in the second row from the back. The screen was big enough that if we sat ten rows further, the screen would still look bigger than any of the movie screens in my local theatre.
We went to a 12 screen multiplex that had stadium seating. It looked like a section of what a modern day Coliseum would be if it still existed. Instead of our thumbs being used to determine the fate of a human being, we are now using them to judge movies.
We were deep into conversation about the other films that we had seen the last time we met. Actually, it wasn�t much of a conversation since my friend hadn�t seen that many films and the ones I had seen, he did not. However, like all film enthusiasts we just bounced around from film to film with the slightest of ease.
Meanwhile, more patrons filed in grabbing their seats. Five minutes before showtime, the melee began. People were now in groups of five and six trying to find seats that will fit their entourage, but can only see one or two seats that is scattered throughout the theatre. Their diplomacy skills emerged as they ask people if they could �move down� or �scoot� to the seat next to them. Some were successful. Some were not. As time wind down, I noticed that the two seat empty radius I enjoyed ten minutes ago had vanished. Instead of having enough room for my legs to stretch during the movie, I am pinned like I�m back on my three and a half-hour bus ride from New York City to Binghamton. Ushers were now pleading people if they could fit two people in the middle rows. When the lights go down, I noticed that there were people still looking for seats, on both rows, mind you, ten people deep.
When the lights finally did turn all the way down, after the last trailer has been shown (another annoying feature that the theatre has incorporated along with the running commercial screens before the movie begins and the silly word jumbo and trivia) my attention turned to what was on the screen. No more shadows flying in front of my face. No more whispers. No more interruptions. No more cell phones or beepers ringing. It was just me and the film. The way that it should be. So you think.
The couple sitting next to me decided that to enhance their movie experience they should eat their dinner. It must been a big meal since they had a shopping bag to carry it in. So not only do I have to contend with the various smells escaping from their bag, but I also had to put up with their incessant chatting. I can put up with a person saying something to their friend, I even do that when I come up with a joke to the scene we just saw, but when you are constantly talking to them every five minutes, that draws the line. The woman constantly asked her husband (they were in their forties so I assumed that they were married)- �Who is that person?� or �What did she just say?� Then there were times that they had to comment on what just happened and they have to reason it out- �Now you are going to get it.� or �You see that is what you get for hiding the stuff.� Now I am listening to two movies: the one in front and the one right next to my left ear.
Whatever happened to movie edicate? I am paying $9 (soon going to $10) here to enjoy a movie and not for you to do your amateur version of MST3K of the movie. If you want to talk throughout the movie, then I suggest you watch it on video, where you can talk all you want and even rewind the scene again so you can talk some more. Why don�t we designate a separate section and wall it off with sound-proof glass for these people and people who refuse to turn off their cellulars and beepers. Then we can all enjoy the movie.
There was also another person who sounded like he was sleeping. In the middle of the movie, I heard someone snoring in back of me. I don�t know if it reflected on the film itself or that person was just tired. It persisted for a couple of minutes and then it stopped.
I enjoyed the film, but I could have done without the atmosphere.
Another disturbing trend in theatres that happens way too often is that parents are bringing their children to movies that they shouldn�t be watching. I heard a child (or was it a baby) crying at a theatre that was playing Gladiator. I don�t blame the child for crying, but I do blame the parent. During The Cell, I could hear a ten-year boy commenting on the torture sequences. The boy seemed to be handling the gruesome action better than the parent by the way. Why are they even there in the first place? The public being outraged at Hollywood for being too explicit and violent is not there fault. Movies like that only flourish because the public is spending more to see those kind of films than movies that have less violent and sexual. Hollywood will stop making these kinds of movies if we stop watching them. Until then, we will continue to see lame brain summer action movies like Gladiator or Armageddon. I could talk another four pages about Parents & Hollywood, but this essay is about why I hate going to movie theatres.
The worst thing that can happen to a person is when you get there twenty minutes before the movie starts and you settle into the seat of your choice. Then as the starting time of the movie approaches, a tall person sits right in front of you and blocks your view. You now have the option of moving or sitting upright. Then you notice that there are plenty of more seats scattered in every section of the theatre and you become more pissed as to why that person had to choose the seat in front of you. However, before anything can happen, the movie starts and you just have to make due.
The best experience I had watching a movie was when I saw MI:2 at my local theatre. I saw it on a Thursday when it was in the theaters for six weeks. It was an afternoon showing and it was a school day. I was the only one there. I had a whole theatre to myself. A person only dreams about that happening, but here I was living it. The only problem-the theatre decided to show the movie instead of the usual trailers first. For the first twenty seconds I thought I was looking at a commercial. They didn�t even show the movie company logo, so I could tell that the movie had started. Despite that problem, I had a great time. Although, the movie was a little disappointing. At some points during the movie, I looked around and said to no one in particular, �I am the only person here,� and howled in excitement.
Sometimes the movie theatre itself is the problem. The seats are in terrible condition or there is no leg room. I have had instances where the arm rests had their top portion missing. It would actually hurt if you rested your arm on it. The leg room in some places are non-existent. If I slouched down a millimeter, my knee would hit the seat in front of me and I am under five-ten. One time I went to a theatre and it smelled of a noxious odor.
Why is there one arm rest between seats? Why can�t there be two? If I sit next to a stranger, then we have to fight to see who gets to own that arm rest for the duration of the movie.
There were also times when the sound system would act erratically. Sometimes the sound would be in and out. Also the sound for the trailers and the sound for the movie itself were on different levels. Some of the trailers were so loud that a person had to cover their ears before they receive permanent damage.
Now in Japan they know hot to treat a movie. In Japan, I am told, when the audience enjoys a movie they remain absolutely silent. Silence is how the audience shows a movie with respect. It is the same as laughing when you watch a comedy here in the United States. When you do hear noise then that means it is bad. However, to see a movie there you would have to pay more than twenty US dollars. Which means that the movie I am watching better be really good.
Here are my proposals-
Of course, I can eliminate the last proposal if the rest of them are met. Or I can eliminate the rest of them, if they kept the last proposal. Either way is good for me. Actually I�ll accept the last proposal. Until then I will only watch six movies per week, no more no less. You have been warned movie studios. Take heed of these words.
Or maybe I won�t have to depend about the theaters, if I just build my own in my apartment. Of course that would mean I would have to spend three grand for the widescreen TV and how much for a stereo system, not to mention a comfortable seat. Then I would also need the space. I imagine a time when home-theatre technology will be so advanced and cheap that I won�t have to wait on line to see a movie again. Until then��
Someone once told me that watching a movie with an audience was an important part of the movie-going experience. If I see that person again, I am going to slap the back of his head.