The Game
I watch him. Stare unconsciously as he moves from girl to girl. Dancing, grinding, flirting with all the charm his body processes.
Sometimes I think he over does it. Flirts too much. He’s never himself when he is flirting. He’s a natural at it, but his personality is drastically changed. It’s in his blood though, yet watching him... I have to wonder if he ever gets tired of it. I know that I would.
But I say nothing. I’m a coward when it comes to Joey. He dances erotically, using the warm bodies around him. They happily oblige. Who wouldn’t? He is the flirty one. The easy one. The whore.
Anyone who wants him can have him. Flash your body and smile pretty and he’s yours for a few hours at most. No one has ever stayed the night. He’s all over them, then moves on when he bores of their attention.
I don’t want him, really I don’t. I never have. I definitely don’t want to be him. He is the way he is. No one can change him. So I stay tucked away in the corner... pretending not to care.. Telling myself that I don’t want to be the one his arms are around.. the one he’s pressed against... the one who’s neck he keeps kissing.
But I do care. I care about him and it hurts to see him dancing with some half dressed Bimbo.
He looks up suddenly. His brown eyes are filled with laughter, as they focus on mine. He smiles. I shake my head resting it against the wall behind me. My eyes shift closed as I relaxed against the metal coated structure.
Lips press to my neck... my collarbone. Warm breath tingles my skin, the wet mouth trailing up along my flesh to suck on my adam’s apple. His smell fills my senses and I moan. He’s leaning over me hands braced against the wall, body pressed part to part against mine.
“Joey...” I groan pushing back against his chest. He stumbles back a step. “No...” I gasp out.
“Lance... why not?... you watch me...” he croons into my ear. He press his thigh to my erection. I thrust forward into him. My eyes open and I frown.
“No Joey...” I whisper again. I slid away from him. He caught my arm pinning me to the wall again.
“But I want you...” He says so authoritatively that I almost give in. I push him back again.
“Too bad Joe...” I smiled. My voice had a hint of seduction in it. The tone lower then normal. “I don’t fuck and run...” I growl. I press my mouth against his before sliding away again. I can feel his eyes on my back as I leave the club. The game was on.
~`~~`~~~`~~`~
The trouble with falling in love with a friend and band-mate is that lust inevitably follows. With Joey and I, we saw each-other 95% of the day. Every fiber of my being wanted him and he was making it very hard to say no. The following four days were the hardest in my 5 year infatuation with Joey Fatone. He took every opportunity to get close to me. It had become a game. He wanted me for a quick fuck. I wanted the love and romance of a relationship. There in lies the conflict.
I’ve never been one for one night stands. I didn’t abandon my childhood beliefs for something so superficial. Not to imply I was a virgin, far from it. But I genuinely cared for every man and woman I took to bed. I wasn’t smutty. I wasn’t Joey.
On the 4th day he pushed me to far. He’d touched me all day, flirted all day, turned me on ALL day, so that he could turn around and ignore me all night.
I found myself standing in front of his hotel room door slightly angry. I knocked. He took his time coming to the door. As soon as it opened I was on him, lips pressed to his eagerly. He smiled into the kiss wrapping his arms around me and pulling me further into the room. I pushed against him leading him across the room and backward onto the bed. He stumbled backward falling to the bed. He grinned up at me. My face was kept emotionless as I pulled my t-shirt up over my head, crawling up the bed. I slid my body against him. He groaned loudly. I nipped at his ear.
“Fuck me Joseph...” I ordered. He hardened against my leg and I grounded against him in response. In a flurry of movement we were both completely nude. I relished the feel of his hands on me. I moaned as he kissed down my back. His tongue snaking out to taste me for the first time.
He entered me swiftly from behind. I groaned, arching against him. He pulled back before surging back inside of me. We moved together rocking against each other. My hands were braced on the mattress under me keeping me from crashing head first into the bed.
“Fuck Lance.... you’re so tight...” he moaned pulling me back harder as he sped up his thrusts. Tears seeped from my eyes, but I made no sound. We came together and fell to the mattress side by side. It turned my head away. We panted in turn each fighting to regain our breath.
I sat up slowly wiping at my face. I picked up my discarded boxers, pulling them over my feet and up my legs.
“Lance?” Joey’s voice was dry.. husky almost. “What are you doing?” he asked sitting up beside me. I looked back at him solemnly.
“Getting dressed...” I answered slipping on my t-shirt.
“But.. I thought..” he trailed off.
“What?... I doubt every quick fuck turns into a cuddle session Joey...” I quipped suddenly angry at him. I turned away again reaching for my jeans. “That is what this was wasn’t it?.. a game... you won... that’s all there is to it..” I was trying to convince myself as well as him. His arms slid around me from behind. I froze, the denim falling from my fingers.
“Don’ go...” he whispered. The tears rushed to my eyes again. His hands slid up my abdomen, raising the t-shirt as they went. I didn’t move in his arms. “Stay.. Stay with me Lance... please..” his chin came to rest on my shoulder. I relaxed against him.
“Why?” I asked, my voice shakey. He pulled the cotton away from my skin and up over my head. He tossed it to the side, them brought his hands to my face to brush away my tears.
“Because I love you... I do... I’ve waned you for so long.. I won’t let go of you so easily.. Not after I finally have you..” he whispered. His hands slid down to my waist to pulling me closer to him.
“Don’t play with me Joey...” I whimpered His lips burned a trail across my shoulder.
“No more... I promise.. Just... stay.. Stay with me..” he pulled me back down to the bed beside him. I looked up at him. His arms were wrapped around me. He rested his head on my shoulder. Silence.
“Joey?” I whispered.
“Hmmm?” he murmured snuggling into my chest.
“Do you love me?” I asked. “For real?”he shifted beside me leaning up to capture my lips with his.
“Yes... I really do Lance...” I smiled.
“I love you too...” I whispered. He ran a hand through my hair.
“Then sleep...” he whispered. I sighed resting against him. I fell into a contented sleep.