Playing

Since I was 4 my whole family has resolved around one thing. Music! Specifically that of my brothers. The band. Some would think I would be conceited to feel this way. But the truth is 75% of the time I hate Hanson.

Me... I think I have the right to finally speak my mind. No one knows what it’s like to have pop-stars for brothers. I do, Avery and Mac do too. But I suffer the most from it. I’m the only one who can comprehend it all.

I’m only 13 years old. Jessica Grace Hanson... that’s me. The oldest ‘non-musical Hanson’. If people only knew. No one but Avery and I know. That I long for a piece of what they have. The ability to sing on stage. To have people hear my voice, hear my words from my heart.

Everyone’s always so focused on Hanson the band, that they have no time for Hanson the family.

For years my brothers have been leaving with Dad. It would be just Mom and the four of us, until they came home again.

I know every note to every song my brother’s ever wrote. They don’t know it.. But I can also play every song as well. Avery calls my secret talent. I learn a song by hearing it. 2 or 3 times through and I can play just about anything.

Not that anyone would notice. I never get a chance to play for anyone. Not that it’s any particular person’s fault.

Ever seen an interview, with my brothers, where they are asked id any of us will be joining the band? Whenever the question is raised my brother’s laugh and say no, that we all want to do our own thing. The fact of the matter is... they’ve never offered.

I often imagine the look of surprise on my brother’s faces if I were to accept.

After 9 years of being unintentionally overlooked it became second nature to play the good little sister. Never pester during practice, don’t play baton with Zac’s drum sticks, and never ever touch Ike’s guitars. They are like his children. Each one has a name and specific place in his heart. I only wish Mackie had learned to listen to the rules.

“Mackie?” I called. The little bugger had run off again. I was babysitting while, mom ran Ike and Tay to the music store downtown. “Mac?” I called again. The sound of a thud and whimper rang up from the music room. My heart did a back flip as I pulled open the basement door and scrambled down them. Mac lay sprawled across the cement floor crying. Ike’s favorite guitar lay face down beside him.

“Mackie? Are you okay?” I asked kneeling beside him and helping him sit up. I pulled him up into my lap. Sometime’s I completely forget that he’s 6 already. He sniffled and nodded weakly.

“I just wanted to hide. I banged my knee on Maggie..” he whimpered, referring to Ike’s favorite guitar.

“Does it hurt?” I asked looking at his leg. It was already starting to bruise.

“Only a little bit... Jessie I’m sorry...” he said quietly. I kissed his forehead.

“Why don’t you go upstairs and ask Avie to make you an ice pack... okay?” I suggested. He nodded. I helped him stand up and watched him limp up the stairs. I sighed slowly turning to inspect the damage.

I slowly picked it up turning it over in my hands. I rested it in my lap. No scratches. That was good. No dents either... even better. All the strings were intact. I bit my lip, slowly strumming the strings. An awful sound erupted from the instrument. I groaned before beginning to tune it. 15 minutes later it was all fixed. I played a melody that had been stuck in my head the last three days and smiled. It sounded just how I had imagined it would. I turned setting it back on it’s stand.

“I didn’t know you could play?” my older brother’s voice startled me. He was sitting half way up the stairs, arms folded across his knees. I looked at him blankly.

“I... it.. Mackie accidentally knocked it over...”

“I know... he confessed the minute I walked into the house... When did you learn to play?” he asked. I shrugged. “Come on Jess...” he whispered. He got up to kneel in front of me.

“Three years ago... when I was 10... John taught me during the Albertane Tour...he said I was a natural...” I said quietly feeling the heat filter through my face. He smiled.

“How come you never told us?”

“You never asked... Mom & Dad never noticed...” I explained standing up. He frowned.

“I’m sorry Jess... we haven’t been doing to well in the ‘brother’ department, have we?”he asked. I shrugged again stepping around a pile of song lyrics. I watched him pick up Maggie. He strummed it. “You did a good job Jessica... do you have a guitar of your own?” I shook my head no. He looked down at Maggie again. “I want you to have this one...” he said softly. I looked up at him.

“What... no... I can’t take Maggie.... Ike.. she’s to important to you... she’s your favorite...” I protested. He stood up placing it into my hands.

“I have a lot of guitars... I want you to have her... for me...” I nodded. I set the beautiful instrument down again and hugged my oldest brother.

“Thank you Ike...” I whispered into his ear. He hugged me back.

“I can’t believe you never told me....” he laughed. I blushed. “What can you play?” he asked walking to the side of the room, where Maggie’s worn case sat.

“Lots of stuff..” I said retrieving Maggie, and running my fingers over it’s strings. I knew I had a huge smile on my face. I handed her up to Ike.

“Like what?” he asked.

“Name something and I’ll tell you whether or not I can play it....” I laughed, He gently set Maggie down in the case, closing it up.

“You really are something Jessica Hanson...” he smiled. I blushed again. He stood up again, handing me the case. He took my hand dragging me up the stairs. “So... given any thought to joining the band?” he asked.

“I thought you’d never ask...” I smiled at him.

“Tell me... Avie doesn’t secretly play the guitar or Mackie the drums.. Do they?” he asked. I merely laughed.

“No...”

The End