Song Fic: Outside

*God knows I’ve been hurt before

You know what I’ve been through

Time helps but it doesn’t cure

The scars will never heal*

Matt had hurt me.. God he had hurt me... Lance knew that. They all knew that. He’d been my first love. I’d given him everything... all of me. Heart, mind, soul.... He’d been my world for 2 years. 2 years I’d never get back. They’s been 2 of my best years... my happiest years.

*Said your love was never ending

But it slowly disappeared

I know you want my heart

But a friend is all I need*

Lance had loved me. The whole time I was with Matt. My best friend had watched in silence. He was in love with me and he said nothing..he never crossed the line of friendship.

*love on the outside is all I can give

But this love on the inside

Needs someplace to live*

I looked at him now. It seemed like for the first time. My best friend.. my Lansten... my Poofu... He watched me in return afraid to let me know how he felt.

*If I gave you my heart...

Would you give it a home?

Cos love on the outside

Is love all alone

I know that you love me

You said a million times*

“Say it now James...” I whispered. Hope glimmered in his eyes. He pulled me closer.

“I love you Justin...”he said it so sincerely. I sighed tears coming to my eyes.

*You know that it’s hard for me

Been told a million lies

Said your love was never ending

But it slowly disappeared

I know you want my heart

But a friend is all I need*

Why did this have to be so hard? Lance would never hurt me.. I knew that in my heart.. But he’d never proved it to my head... All he had done was pull away. The last three months had been so hard. Like losing my bestfried.

*Love on the outside is all I can give

But this love on the inside

Needs someplace to live

If I gave you my heart,

Would you give it a home?

Cos love on the outside*

Could I do this? Could I put everything on the line again? Let myself be with Lance? With my best friend ?

The answer was staring me in the face... of course I could.... I loved Lance... just as much as he loved me..

*I’ve taken my time

I’ve made up my mind

It’s you I’m needin’

You I believe in*

Lance registered the change on my face. He smiled just barely. I stepped closer to him.

*It’s love forever and a day*

I leaned in pressing me lips to his. He seemed shocked by my the unexpected sensation. He responded parting his lips inviting my tongue inside.

*Love on the outside is all I can give

But this love on the inside

Needs someplace to live

If I gave you my heart,

Would you give it a home?

Cos love on the outside*

We broke the kiss an eternity later. He was breathing heavily... raggedly... as was I.

I hugged him to me, his arms wrapping around my back in confusion.

“Love on the outside is all I can give... but this love on the inside needs someplace to live... if I gave you my heart, would you give it a home?.... cos this love on the outside is love all alone..” I sang softly into his ear. He was silent a moment before pulling me against him tighter.

“Home Sweet Home...” he whispered, and tears fell...

*Love on the outside is all I can give

But this love on the inside

Needs someplace to live

If I gave you my heart,

Would you give it a home?

Cos this love on the outside is love all alone*

“Outside” BBMak: Sooner or Later

END