“This is Real, This is Forever” (‘What is He Doing?’ Part 3)

Justin sat me down on the bed. I sighed looking up to see him rub gell over his fingers. He crouched in front of me. His hands ran through my hair making the blond spikes high and slick. He always insisted on doing my hair. To tell you the truth I enjoyed it, maybe it was the feel of fingers on my scalp... then again it was just because it was *him* touching *me*. Whatever it was, I had stopped protesting once I learned he was gonna do it no matter how much I begged to do it myself. He twisted pieces in his fingers getting just the way he wanted it to be. I closed my eyes and frowned.

“Okay... tell me what’s wrong...”

“Nothing Justin... I just... never mind...”

“No tell me Frankie... no secrets... remember?” he kneeled in front of me. “You promised...”

“I’m just worried is all...” he frowned at my response.

“Why? Everyone knows I’m gay... it was petty obvious when I said I was in love with a man...”

“I know... You didn’t have to do that... I wouldn’t have left you... I just... I’m scared...” my voice had dropped to a whisper. I opened my eyes to look at him.

“Of what?” his hands are on my thighs rubbing back and forth in comforting circles. I reach up brushing a curl off his forehead.

“I would never leave you... not of my own free will... but you... do you understand what you gave up when you told the world... you are gonna be followed and photographed ten times worse then the other guys... you’ll be the reason parents take Nsync cd’s away from their kids... Do you understand that...” He nodded.

“The decision to come out... I thought about it for a long time Frankie... I weighed the options... the pros the cons... the guys were behind me in the decision... if even one of them had objected I wouldn’t have done it... you have got to trust that... I love you Frankie... and if this is the last award show... or the last tour... or the last TV performance I ever do... I would be glad to know you are there with me... holding my hand... I don’t want to have to sneak around all the time... You are more then some secret boyfriend... you mean more then anything else in my life...” I dropped my head.

“You don’t know if this is forever... if in fifteen years when all my hair is falling out and you miss singing so much you could die... you don’t know if I’ll still make you happy enough... you don’t know you won’t regret it later in life..” my voice broke.

“Frankie... that’s what has been bothering you lately? God.. Frankie I love you... not your gorgeous hair... or beautiful eyes... or your tight ass...” that one made me giggle. I sniffled. “Frankie... look at me... this is forever... I’m already out... they know your name...this is for real...” I raised my head looking at him sadly.

“It doesn’t have to be... Justin you can still stop this... just go with Britney tonight... just make it out to be some huge joke... take it back while you still can... I don’t want you to hate me...”

“Don’t you see... this is forever... I want to spend the rest of my life with you... I’m spoiled now... I could never be happy without you... I don’t want to take it back... I want you... that’s all I need..” he had tears in his eyes. I closed my own moving to hug him. He wrapped his arms around my waist. “I love you...” he whispered. I laughed into his shoulder.

“I love you too... God... don’t ever leave... please don’t ever leave me...” he pulled me tighter to him.

“I won’t...” he pulled back slightly. “Now come on... we have a kick ass party to go too...”

“Yeah after the boring ass award show....” I grumbled smiling at him widely. He wiped at my face.

“Well at least we’ll be there to entertain each other...” he smiled his prize winning smile again and I laughed.

“Yeah... screw the awards... we can make out in public....” I cheered. His eyes lit up.

“Really? I’ve always wanted to give you a hickey on national TV!!!”

“Mom’ll be so proud!” he smirked.

“Come on serious time... you are changing... if I get to stare in public I want something extra special to look at... leather... something with leather...” he stood from his place and moved to my suitcase, continuing to mumble to himself as he went. I could do nothing but flop backward and roll my eyes. This could get interesting.

One long and excruciating hour later I was sitting in the back of a very long limo with five very handsome guys including one who was sitting in my lap with his lips attached to my neck. Life was good. Chris giggled from the other side of the car. I rolled my eyes at him, before flipping him the bird. Joey laughed.

“Justin...”

“Mmmhmm?”

“Sweetie... you should stop... you’re gonna draw blood soon” his lips detached from my throat, he gave it one final lick before moving to sit beside me on the bench. To say the least, he had left a clearly visible mark, that ached rather badly afterward. “Justin... not so hard next time... I’m sore now...” I whined. He snuggled up to my side wrapping an arm around me.

“Sorry... I’ll make it up to you later...” he winked at me before dropping his head to my shoulder.

I’ve never been so glad for Justin’s obsession with sunglasses before. He stopped me when we got there, only long enough to suck on my tongue for a second and slip a darker than usual pair over my eyes. I was immediately glad for his thoughtfulness. Fifteen seconds later Chris was out the door and the lights were flashing, bright, bold, and incessant. Cameras of every type were suddenly fighting to see who would come out next. I’m glad to say that the guys very kindly got out before us. Justin smiled at me kissing my cheek before ducking out of the car. I sighed taking a deep breath. When I didn’t follow right behind him, Justin stuck his head back inside. I’m sure they had a great view of his ass. He smiled at me.

“Frankie... come out or I’m coming back in to get you...” he raised an eyebrow at me. I grimaced. He laughed extending a hand to me. “Come on Love... welcome to the Grammy’s Baby...” I laughed excepting his hand and climbing from the limo. The flashing escalated. Justin wrapped his arm around my waist pulling me to his side. “Stay close... keep walking... these are the cheap reporters... the good ones are in deeper....” I nodded letting him lead me toward where Chris, JC, Lance, and Joey stood waiting and posing for pictures. JC moved closer to us leaning into talk over the crowd.

“Hey... Johnny wants us to go straight in... no interviews..” I felt Justin squeeze my hip before nodding slowly. We wove our way through the crowd of celebrities, photographers, and reporters to the entrance of the Staples Center. Most of the people were already in their seats. Our row was near the front and midway up the aisle. The guys spread out among the seats, leaving one for Johnny, and one of their producers. Justin say on the aisle with me beside him and then Joey. He immediately took my hand in his own. I sighed, hoping things went well tonight.

I’ve never hated Jon Stewart more then I did that night. Justin’s coming out was at the top of his list of jokes, right alongside Puffy and his trial, Eminem and his lyrics, and Madonna and her dance moves. I was getting more and more pissed off with each comment he made. I couldn’t help but feel responsible on some level for his teasing. I shrank lower in my seat. Justin merely stared straight ahead, his face blank and expressionless. I focused my eyes on our hands, he still held on to me tightly.

Justin had been so excited, he had written one of Nsync’s biggest singles that year, and was up for “Song of the Year” for his work. He’d produced and mixed it himself. His management had loved the outcome so much, they had insisted it be released as the second single. The guys had loved it twice as much as management and sang it live at every opportunity. Justin had never told me where he came up with the premise... even though JC had whispered on several occasions that he had started on it right after we had met. I refused to believe it at first. Now I wasn’t so sure. Justin grew tenser with each award given out. THE award was to be soon, we didn’t have an accurate listing of categories to know the exact time for “Song of the Year” was to be announced. And then it happened, two unknown (but way overly dressed) actors were at the podium and listing off the nominees for “Song of the Year”. Justin’s breath hitched in his chest. And then it happened.

“Justin Timberlake ‘Don’t go yet’ by Nsync!” Justin’s jaw dropped. I nudged his shoulder, his head snapped in my direction. I smiled at him.

“You won Just... go get your Grammy award...” he sighed his whole face cracked. He smiled brilliantly and hugged me tightly. The guys were next. We all stood clapping as he jogged to the stage. Jon Stewart stood there behind the two ‘unknowns’. Justin punched him in the gut before walking calmly to the podium. Jon doubled over in pain before falling to his knees. Justin took the grammy from the trophy girl and sighed deeply. He leaned into the microphone.

“Oh wow.... I was so NOT expecting this... umm there are so many people to thank... God... thank you for everything you have blessed me in life with... JC, Lance, Joey, Chris... you guys are the best friends I could ever hope for... you’re the reason the song sounded *so* incredible... Mom, Dad, Daddy, Laura, Steven, and Jon... I love you guys so much... The fans... you keep us going... and... and...” I looked at him. He smiled at me. “And to you Frankie... you are my heart, and my soul, and a hundred lifetimes of inspiration.... I wrote this for you... I sing it for you... and every single time, the words come from my heart and are meant explicitly for yours... I love you so much... and I don’t care who knows, or who criticizes it... it’s real and it’s forever... thank you for still being here with me... Thank you..” he walked swiftly from the stage, tears on his face. I stood from my seat, and made my way down the aisle and up the steps. I simply walked across the stage and into the backstage area. Justin was leaning against a wall with several producers huddling around him. I made my way through them. He had slid to the floor. His eyes were closed, the grammy sitting beside him. I squatted beside him, I brushed the tears off his face. He looked up at me. I smiled.

“Gimmie a kiss, you grammy award winning writer..” he leaned forward capturing my lips in a delicate kiss. His hands folded around my neck pulling me down to my knees. He took a deep breath, resting his forehead to mine. I kissed his lips softly. “I love you... and you are right... this is real, this is forever... I wouldn’t have it any other way...” he smiled laughing quietly against my lips. “Now come on... you promised to give me a hickey on National Tv... or at least a good make out session..” he nodded.

“You carry my Grammy?” he asked holding the award up. “It’s heavier then I thought it would be...” he grumbled.

“Sure.. But you have to get up off the floor...”

“Deal” he stood up slowly pulling me up with him.

“Justin?” I asked. He smiled at me resting his head against my shoulder.

“Yeah Frankie...”

“Will you marry me and help me raise babies someday?” I whispered.

“Tell me you love me...” he raised his head to look at me.

“I love you..”

“Good... that’s a crucial element in a successful marriage..” he grinned. “I love you too...”

THE END