Dialogue Ficlets
13-24
13) Couch Hunting - AJ/Kevin
14) Roomies - Brian/Kevin
15) Baby Me - Nick/Kevin
16) Gettin’ Dressed - Brian/AJ
17) Out - Brian/Nick
18) Pity Sex - Nick/AJ
19) The Challenge - AJ/Kevin
20) Kiss It - Brian/Kevin
21) Corn-rows - Nick/Kevin
22) Coloring - Brian/AJ
23) Forever and Ever - Brian/Nick
24) Turkey and Cheese on Rye - Nick/AJ
13) Couch Hunting
AJ/Kevin
“Sit...”
“Kevin... we could be doing something so much more fun then this... we only have a handful of free days left before the tour starts up again...”
“Shut it and sit back... move around AJ... we have to get something comfortable...”
“This one is fine... can we leave now... here use my credit card, it’s on me... consider it an anniversary present.... three weeks... late... oops... I forgot it again didn’t I?”
(rolled eyes)
“Yes you did... now really sit down... move around... act like you’re watching TV... I thought you used to wanna be an actor... you can try better then that... I know you can... come on... there you go... Now... is it comfortable?”
“Yes... it’s very nice... Ohh... it even comes in leather...”
“Stop patronizing me Alex... do you like it or not?”
“I just don’t understand why we had to do this today....”
(a whine)
“You wanna know why?... Fine I will refresh your memory... last night... sometime after Brian and Nick left... you and me a little to much Tequila and MSG from the takeout... we got a little too freaky on the living room couch and CRASH... we broke the whole damn thing... it was in pieces...”
“Oh... yeah... NOW I remember... nice and clear... must have been the alcohol... I’m sorry we broke your couch Honey...”
“It’s okay... I know how much the living room turns you on... which is why I insisted we come get a new couch first thing today... so if the urge happens to hit again tonight I won’t end up with rug burns on my knees...”
“Aww... how sweet of you to anticipate my needs... But just so you know... I think tonight it’ll be the kitchen we get to christen...”
“Oh... food fun...”
“Don’t you know it...”
14) Roomies
Brian/Kevin
“Kevin... I think I had too much to drink.. I’m a tad bit tipsy...”
“Tipsy...you are completely smashed Brian... What got into you tonight?”
“I’m not sure but I think it’s on it’s way back up for a repeat performance...ugh...”
“Feel a little better?”
“Not really... God what is wrong with me?”
“I thought we had covered this... you are drunk...”
“Really... I hadn’t noticed... is that why the room is spinning and I just puked up my stomach... it all makes sense now somehow...”
“You don’t have to be nasty about it....”
“I’m sorry okay... I just... I’m mad at the whole world right now... life sucks and I am gonna feel so horrible tomorrow....”
“Well at least you are partially coherent now...”
“Kevin... where am I?”
“The hotel... my room... Nick brought some girl back and dumped you here on his way by...”
“Oh... that’s just great... I can’t even sleep in my own temporary bed...”
“You can just stay here tonight...”
“Thanks cousin... you don’t bring home one nighter’s do you?”
“No.. Why?”
“I think Nick and I aren’t compatible roommates anymore.. I always end up sleeping somewhere else anyway... why not just cut out the middle step and bunk somewhere else instead?”
“Well... you can stay here whenever you need to Brian...”
“Thanks... Kevin....”
“Hey what’s family for...”
“You... you only have one bed...”
“Yeah... we’ve all shared before... I don’t have cooties you know...”
“I know... that was just before...”
“Before you came out to me... I told you before... it makes no difference to me... either way I still love you...”
“I guess... I just.. sometimes... I well... you know... I don’t want to weird you out, that’s all...”
“You won’t... I used to room with AJ remember, you can’t do much worse then that..”
“I don’t want to say something we’ll both regret later....”
“I’ve never regretted anything we have ever talked about... you can talk to me...”
“I... I can’t....”
(a silent pause)
“It’s about me isn’t it... you dream about me sometimes... don’t you?”
“Kevin... they’re just dreams...”
“You don’t wish they were real sometimes?”
(a sigh)
“All the time..”
“Come here... I love you Brian... that’ll never change, You don’t have to be afraid to... do things with me... it won’t make things uncomfortable between us...”
“Are you for real?”
“Yes...and no I’m not drunk, I had less then you did... you never stopped to think that maybe you weren’t the only one having non-heterosexual thoughts?”
“I guess not...”
“Well... you guessed wrong... now come to bed with me... I think we both need to snuggle...”
15) Baby Me
Nick/Kevin
“Ouch... it hurts...”
“I know Nicky...”
“It’s all AJ’s fault you know...”
“If you say so...”
“It is... If he hadn’t been chasing me I wouldn’t have fallen and broken my ankle...”
“It isn’t broken Nick... you only sprained it.. and if you hadn’t played that practical joke on him he wouldn’t have chased you....”
“How do you know it isn’t broken?... it could be...”
“Nick... it’s not broken... It isn’t swollen, you can move it fairly well and you can put some weight on it... it’s only a bad sprain...”
“But it still hurts...”
(a whine)
“I have ice on it, you took some Advil, it’s elevated and you have all day to rest it... you’re gonna be fine...”
(a pout)
“What?”
“I want you to make me feel better... you never pay me any attention...”
“Nick...”
(a sigh)
“You’re a Big Boy now... you don’t need me to baby you all the time...”
“I know... I just... I miss it sometimes... I miss you sometimes...”
(a pause)
“Nick...”
“It’s still hard on me... I’m not the most mature of the 5 of us.... I never have been... I miss home sometimes... I think part of me felt a little bit of that when you took care of me... It was like being a kid again...”
“Oh... I thought you didn’t want me to take care of you anymore... I miss you too Nicky... I liked taking care of you... I liked feeling needed....”
“Well I still need you Kevin...”
“Good... I’m glad... I think I still need you too...”
“Then come take care of me... I hurt...”
“Poor baby Nicky....”
“Don’t go too overboard...”
“I’ll try...”
16) Gettin’ Dressed
Brian/AJ
“I am not wearing that...”
“You said I could pick out your clothes for the show... you never said anything about censoring them....”
“You never said anything about making me into a rodeo clown either...”
“Brian, you are gonna look sexy as shit....”
“Since when is shit sexy?”
“Shut up and put it on Brian...”
“Fine Alex... but I get one comment and your ass his mine...”
“My ass is already yours...”
“Don’t forget that either...”
“Woo lookin’ good Brian... where did you get those pants? They look hot!”
“I’m glad you appreciate my handy-work Howie D...”
“Brian... you let AJ dress you... no wonder you look sizzling!!!”
“I’ll take that as a compliment Howie... but I won’t be letting him dress me again anytime soon...”
“Why the hell not Pookie... you look amazing... I’m not sure I can make it a whole night without pulling you aside for a nice hearty grope...”
“You keep your hands to yourself Mclean...”
“I ain’t making any promises...”
“The two of you can flirt later... right now... we have to get going... or we’ll miss the limo... Nick and Kevin have left us behind before... they’ll do it again...”
“He’s right Alex... come on... we don’t need the two of them alone in a limo for a whole twenty minute ride... they’ll look like they just fucked by the time we get there...”
“They ‘will’ have just fucked Brian...”
“Man I don’t need to picture my cousin and my best-friend getting it on in the back of a limo...”
“Neither do I...”
“Count me in on that one... but the two of you I wouldn’t mind quite so much...”
“Eww... gross Howie...”
“Yeah Man... keep your own twisted fantasies to yourself...”
“Especially if they involve Alex and me in them...”
“Alright, alright I get the picture...”
17) Out
Brian/Nick
“Where ya goin’?”
“Out...”
“Out?”
“Yeah out...”
“Would you like to tell me where you are going?”
“Nope...”
(door slam)
“Well that was certainly different...”
(door opens)
“Hello again...”
“Shut up”
(quick footsteps)
“What are you do....?”
(eager kisses)
(muffled moan)
“Shut up...”
(more kisses)
“Whoa...”
“Yeah...”
(quick footsteps, door slam)
“Nicky!?!”
(no response)
“That was very strange...”
18) Pity Sex
Nick/AJ
“What do you wanna do today? Kevin and Kristen are throwing that barbeque tonight...”
“Do you wanna go?”
“Do you?”
“And watch my ex-boyfriend hang all over his lovely wife... no thank you...”
“You gotta get over it... Brian made his choice... you have to move on with your life...”
“It’s not that easy AJ... God... it’s bad enough I have to see him everyday...”
“Then it’s settled we’re not going....”
“You can go AJ, it’s not a big deal... Kevin and Kristen are all excited about something...”
“I don’t wanna leave you all alone... so what do you think is the big news..”
“If I had to guess I’d say either Kevin finally knocked her up or she got that job on Madonna’s summer tour...”
“Ah... nothing too important...”
“That was awful Alex... I’m sure they think it’s very important...”
“It’s always something very important... everything that happens to them is very important...”
“Bitter much...”
“No comment...”
“Alright then... if we aren’t going to the barbeque than what are we gonna do?”
“Sit around eating ice cream and talking about Boys...”
“I’m not a girl Alex...”
“We’ll do the guy version... pity sex...”
“Pity Sex???”
“Yeah... I’m a bi-guy you’re a gay-guy you’re depressed, I’m one of your best-friends... why not... sex is sex... I care about you... I’m attracted to you.... it’d be fun... no pressure....”
“Okay...”
“Okay....”
(Nick pounces)
“Oh Nick.... pity sex is a great thing...”
“Uh hugh...”
(heavy breathing)
“Yeah....”
19) The Challenge
AJ/Kevin
“Kevin.... I don’t wanna...”
“I don’t care AJ... you’re going...”
“But it’s stupid....”
“I know... but we owe it to them....”
“Why?”
“For being so supportive and for being there when we needed them... They deserve it...”
“I know... it just... they’re gonna do that thing...”
“What thing?”
“The thing where they pinch my cheeks and call me ‘Kevy’s cute wittle boyyyyfriend’... I hate that....”
“They’re my grandparents and it’s their 60th wedding anniversary and they want us to be there....”
“I know... that doesn’t mean I’m gonna like it...”
“Hey, at least Brian and Leighann are gonna be there too this time...”
“Well, that should help...”
“Suffer through it with me won’t you...”
“For you anything...”
“Thanks... now get dressed we’re gonna be late...”
“We can be late... I don’t wanna go anyway...”
“Alex... I don’t have the patience for this tonight...”
“Fine... But I’m wearing what I want to....”
“Fine... no sex for the next week...”
“Okay... fine”
“Fine???”
“You aren’t gonna be able to live up to that threat... you’ll cave way before I will...”
“Is that a challenge Mclean?”
“No... it’s a fact...”
“We’ll just see about that....”
(a long silence)
“This is stupid”/“I love being with you too much for that...”
(a shorter silence)
“Well then... we’re gonna be late...”
“Yeah... we should get going...”
“AJ... I love you...”
“I love you too...”
“But you aren’t wearing that to my grandparents...”
“Kevin...”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up...”
“Okay...”
“Wanna fuck tonight?”
“Definitely...”
20) Kiss It
Brian/Kevin
“Kiss it...”
“I’m not gonna kiss it....”
“Come on Kevin...”
“No...”
“Do you love me?”
“Yes...”
“Do you want a blow-job later?”
“Definitely...”
“Then kiss it...”
“It’s an animal...”
“It’s a doggy...”
“It’s a rodent...”
“It’s a puppy... kiss it...”
(smooch)
“That wasn’t so bad... was it?”
“I guess not.... kiss me....”
“No!”
“Why not???”
“You just kissed a dog... that’s disgusting....”
“You are a real hypocrite... you know that?”
“Yes... Kevin... get away from me....”
(smooch)
“There that wasn’t so bad... was it?”
“You don’t have to mock me...”
“Yes... I’m afraid I do Brian...”
“Come on puppy lets leave mean old Kevin alone... no nookie for him tonight... nope.... just you and me all alone in the great big king-size bed....”
“Brian....”
“Don’t whine Kevin... it’s not an attractive quality...”
21) Corn-rows
Nick/Kevin
“Oww...”
“Don’t whine...”
“How did you and AJ ever have the patience for this kind of crap?...”
“And you always said it wasn’t that bad....”
“I didn’t know what the hell I was talking about...”
“You got that right...”
“Don’t be sarcastic...”
“Whatever...”
“Owww.... you did that on purpose!”
“I did not!”
“You did so!”
“Did not!”
“Did so!”
“Did not... you moved... stop moving and it won’t pull...”
“Nick?”
“Yeah..”
“Thanks...”
“No problem...”
“You’re doing it straight right?”
“Yes Kevin..”
“I just wanna be sure...”
“Trust me Baby... It looks good...”
“Fine...”
“Don’t pout... you’re not very good at it...”
“And I suppose you are?”
“Damn straight!”
“I think you got that backwards Babe...”
“Funny...”
22) Coloring
Brian/AJ
“What are you doing?”
“Looking at crayons...”
“Why?”
“Cause... they come in just about every color you can imagine...”
“Oh... and the reason you’re looking at these color is...?”
“I’m gonna change my hair again... what do you think... orange or green?”
“Why don’t you do the whole rainbow... show off that potent gay pride you’ve been sporting lately...”
“Don’t say things like that unless you mean it Brian...”
“You wouldn’t dare...”
“Try me...”
“Please Alex... that’s the last thing any of us need right now...”
“I don’t know... that way I wouldn’t have to choose one color over another...”
“AJ!”
“You’ve got me thinking ‘bout things now...”
“Stop it...”
“You’d better distract me Brian before I start really considering things...”
“Well... if that’s the only way....”
23) Forever and Ever
Brian/Nick
“Love me?”
“Always...”
“Always?”
“And Always...”
“Forever?”
“Forever and Ever...”
“Really?”
“Yes... Really...”
“Oh... that’s good...”
“I’m glad you approve...”
“Brian?”
“Yeah Nicky...”
“Call me it again...”
“Puppy...”
(giggle)
“You’re so easily amused...”
“I know...”
“Yeah...”
“Brian?”
(a sigh)
“Yeah?”
“I love you...”
“I know Nicky...”
“That’s all?”
“Yep...”
“You don’t need the forever and ever part?”
“Nick... will you love me forever and ever?”
“Of course...”
“Then I don’t need you to say it again... you already said it and meant it once... that’s good enough for me...”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes... I’m sure... but I’ll say it whenever you need or want me too...”
“Oh...”
“Yeah”
“Ok...”
24) Turkey and Cheese on Rye
Nick/AJ
“Make me something to eat...”
“No... YOU make ME something to eat...”
“I asked you first...”
“No... you demanded it first...”
“Sorry...”
“Yeah...”
“Please make me something to eat...”
“Hmmm... no...”
“Why not?”
“You don’t seem very sincere..”
“Come on...”
“You’re whining...”
“I know... come one... please...”
“No...”
“Nicky...”
“What?”
“If I kiss you will you make me a sandwich?”
“Maybe...”
(smooch)
“You’re gonna have to do way better then THAT... come on...”
(wetter smooch)
“Better...”
(smooch)
(gasp)
(moan)
“Wow...”
“I want turkey and cheese on rye...”
“Sure... whatever you want Baby...”
“I love you sweet cheeks...”
“UGH HUGH...”
(dreamy sigh)