Part 1: The Altercation

I hate this... sharing a room with the one person I want. I do want him. I love him with all my heart. I want to be with him, more than just friends. Closer then brothers. I want to feel him, touch him, kiss him. He means so much to me. If he ever hated me I would die. I couldn’t stand to live anymore. Maybe that is why he didn’t turn away from me. He loves me too. He does. He loves me a great deal. Just not in the same way as I love HIM. He’s my best friend. He always has been. Since Nsync started and we were thrown in to chaos together, he’s been there. I met him years before. But he was a child then. I wouldn’t allow myself to feel this way for him. I was his protector, his best friend. Then he grew up. He flirted, and dated, and all of the sudden he wasn’t 12 years old anymore. That’s when everything changed. Justin wasn’t a little boy, he was full grown. All of the sudden I was attracted to him. He already knew I was gay. It had never been a secret to him. He knew since he met me that I wasn’t into girls. Maybe that was why he wasn’t surprised that I had developed a crush on him. He was actually okay with it. He didn’t treat me any differently. If anything he was closer to me then ever before.

But, you see, that just made it worse in the end. You can’t be around someone you are in love with 24/7 and not want more. It was like I was addicted to him. He still shared a dressing room with me, he still shared a hotel room with me. He still hung on me like he always had and he still hugged me like nothing had changed. Things HAD changed, I was still the same person, I just saw him differently.

I was completely and utterly infatuated with him. I was in love with him. Every smile, wink, or touch sent shivers down my spine. All he had to do was look at me with laughter in his eyes and I would laugh right along with him. It was enough to drive me insane. He was always there, so close. It was a constant battle to keep my feelings plutonic. None of the other guys knew. They had no idea I was in love with our youngest band mate.

Being near him was pure heaven and pure hell at the same time. And it was slowly driving me insane. I started to pull away. I know that hurt him. He didn’t understand why. It wasn’t to hurt him, it was to rescue myself. I couldn’t let myself be tortured everyday.

Did you know that teenagers are smarter then you’d think? He figured me out way to quickly. I hated him even more for it. That was how I got here. Sitting across from him in our hotel room. I was watching him watching me. His damn eyes followed my every move. He didn’t say a word just sat there. It was making me even more nervous then usual. I finally gave up. Justin Timberlake doesn’t talk until he wants to. I had learned that rather quickly. I sighed turning away from him and stretching out across my bed. I propped my head up on a fist and retrieved my journal from my carry-on. I opened to a fresh page intent on spilling my guts like I always do.

I stopped writing when I felt the bed shift beside me. I closed my journal looking up to see Justin sitting beside me. He smiled. He had taken his shirt off. I felt my body tense. He must have seen the change in my face because his face lost the smile. He reached out leaning down to touch my face. It was to intimate, to personal, to much like I imagined a lover would touch me. I turned away at the contact. He surprised me when he grabbed my face turning it back to look in his. direction. I felt tears building in my eyes. I jerked away.

“What is it you want from me?” I asked sitting up. I crossed my legs, sitting Indian style. He moved closer climbing up into my lap. He pushed me back so he was straddling my hips. “Justin?” I asked. He silenced me with a kiss. I melted. My body taking over. Justin was kissing me. My best friend, my crush, my secret love was in my lap kissing me. I instantly hardened against him. He tensed this time, his lips faltering against mine. I felt a sob catch in my throat as I pulled away from his lips. “What are you doing?” I asked shakily, avoiding his eyes as much as I could.

“Loving you..” he whispered. I looked up at him.

“You.. You don’t love me like that..” I whimpered, feeling the tears escape my eyes.

“I want to... show me... teach me to love you like you love me” he pleaded. I looked away again.

“What is this about?” I demanded suddenly angry at him. “Why are you doing this? Playing with me?”

“I’m not Josh.. I love you...” he answered. I shook my head.

“No Justin... no... you don’t love me... you never will... not like I want you too... you can’t change that...” I cried pushing him away from me. My body immediately felt the loss of body heat.

I stood up turning away from him. Why was he doing this? What did he think this would accomplish. He wrapped his arms around me from behind. I stiffened. He pulled me back against him. I cried out at the embrace, fighting to get away from him. I wanted away. He tightened his grip. I slid to the floor still pressed to his chest. He held me tightly. I cried in his arms. He rocked me gently, smoothing my hair, and whispering calm words into my ear. I looked up at him. My face betrayed my sorrow. He leaned forward kissing me again. I felt his tongue enter my mouth and moaned into the kiss. He turned me in his arms pulling me closer. I didn’t pull away, I moved closer kissing him back. My arms went up to snake around his neck. My fingers tangled in his curls. How many times had I dreamed of kissing this boy? Of feeling his arms holding me tight? Realization once again flooded my mind and I broke the kiss. We were both breathing heavily. I looked up into his eyes, I held him there.

“When you kiss me... do you see forever?... do you imagine kissing me again?... making love to me?... having me make love to you?” I asked. He looked down hesitating with his answer. I closed my eyes feeling my heart break into a million tiny pieces all over again. “I didn’t think so..” I whispered. I pulled away from his arms stumbling to my feet.

“Josh?” he asked climbing up from the hotel room floor. I felt my eyes filling with another round of tears.

“You can’t play with my emotions Justin... you can’t pretend to be something you’re not..” I whispered. “Just like I can’t play the perfect little straight boy...” I spat suddenly. I felt him step up behind me. He reached out for me. “No....” I pleaded. “Please... don’t... Just go Justin... go away... stay with Lance tonight... please... just... just go away... it hurts... it hurts too much Justin...” I heard him sniffle behind me. I leaned against the balcony door, fighting to stay up right. I heard the door close as he left. It echoed throughout the empty room, and my empty heart.

Part 2: The Mistake

I must have fallen asleep crying in bed, because the next thing I knew Justin was asleep in my arms. I moved silently away form him. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. His arms tightened around me. He groaned.

“Don’t go...” he opened his eyes. They were crystal clear, no sign of grogginess or sleepiness. He’d been awake the entire time.

“Justin..” I whispered. He shushed me. His lips found mine for a third time that day. He moved over me pressing me to the mattress. He climbed over me to sit astride my hips. My body reacted in response. He didn’t seem surprised this time. Instead he pressed back against my erection, rubbing his butt against it. I gasped shuddering at the sensation. He kissed across my face and down my jaw. His lips trailed across my throat to suck on my Adam’s apple. I withered beneath him. “Just?” I questioned.

“Just enjoy it Josh.. Stop thinking and feel...” he ordered. He nibbled on my ear as he finished the words. I arched beneath him. Breathing in deeply I stopped fighting. He smelled sweet, like sweat and sex, and every delicious thing I had ever tasted in my life, all mixed into one. I sighed relaxing against the bed. He ground against me kissing across my collarbone. When had he removed my shirt? I didn’t care. He was here and he wanted me. I closed my eyes, my head falling back against the pillows again. He moved down suckling my nipples and letting his hands explore my chest. I moaned. God... his mouth was so warm. I wanted to touch him and feel him and memorize every part of his body with my hands and my tongue. I pushed up against him rolling him off of me and onto his back. He looked up at me in surprise. I kissed him this time.

I moved down giving his chest the same attention he had given mine. His fingers threaded in my hair. I pulled his sweat pants down to reveal his own erection. ‘He wants me!’ My mind screamed. I slicked my lips before licking across the head of his cock. He moaned beneath me. My heart jumped. I had done that. I had given him that pleasure. I had made him moan. I took his member into my mouth tonguing the shaft and moving downward to take him all the way in. He groaned and gasped as he slid down my throat.

I used every trick I knew to prolong his pleasure... to make it the best it could be without ending it to quickly. I swallowed and hummed and bobbed and cleared my throat. Every little thing made his moans louder. He was close. I finally let him come. He shot his seed deep into my throat. I pulled back catching the last spurts on my tongue. He cried out flailing above me as he came. I savored his taste. As sweet and salty as I had always imagined he would be. He fought to catch his breath. His brow sweaty. I pulled off of him. My brain seemed to snap back into gear again. I sat up moving away from him. How was this possible? I had just given my best friend a blow job. I stood from the bed grabbing my shirt from the floor I ran from the room. Leaving a stunned Justin half conscious on the bed. I ran from the room and the floor and down the stairwell. I had to get away. Any minute he would come down from his orgasmic high and he would realize what we, I, had done and he would hate me. The mere sight of me would disgust him. I didn’t want to be there to see the resentment and anger in his eyes. So I ran. I ended up in the third floor ballroom. There was a piano there. I collapsed on the dusty bench waiting to cry the tears that wouldn’t come.

Part 3: The Acceptance (3^rd person)

Justin slowly crawled under the covers. Tears slid down his face, blurring his vision. He whimpered... this was all so confusing.

He loved Josh. He was his beast friend. They had known each other forever. They had a seemingly unbreakable bond. Then JC had fallen for him. Josh thought his new feelings would change Justin’s. They hadn’t. If anything he felt closer. He felt even more secure in their friendship. Josh was in love with him. He was caring and protective and he had promised to never let Justin be scared or hurt again. Justin had believed him. He had no reason not to.

Then suddenly Josh had done the one thing he’d promised to never ever do. He’d pulled away from Justin. Avoiding him, ignoring him, flinching at innocent touches, and crying himself to sleep at night. He hurt Justin, by distancing himself from Justin’s life. Josh had just stopped being his friend.

That scared Justin. That he could love and trust Josh more then anyone else in the world. That Josh didn’t need or want anymore.

It had taken weeks for Justin to figure out the cause. Josh had fallen harder and harder everyday they spent together. He had inadvertently hurt Josh by not loving him to the degree and intensity that Josh loved him. The mere notion made Justin’s heart ache in his chest. He HAD to fix this... quickly, before he lost his best friend for good.

In desperation he had done the one thing he felt he could do. He gave JC the one thing he’d always wanted. He gave Josh Justin. He gave himself. He had kissed and touched and coaxed Josh into taking what he had always wanted. JC had taken pleasure in giving Justin pleasure. And now Justin lay in Josh’s bed, spent and tired, wishing he had been able to chase after his friend. Justin cried into a pillow. He breathed in deeply, smelling Josh’s shampoo and sweat. He closed his eyes relishing in the familiar scent.

He froze as a sudden realization flooded through his tired mind. He’d never felt anything as wonderful as Josh’s arms around him, or Josh’s lips on his skin... he sighed. Josh’s tongue on his cock, his hands on Justin’s thighs, and hips, and abdomen.

Every kiss and caress had been chock full of the strongest love Justin had ever experienced. Justin sighed feeling his cock spring back to life.

He lay in shock staring up at the bare ceiling. He *loved* Josh. Somewhere along the way he had fallen in love with his very best friend. And suddenly Justin wanted no more than to hold JC in his arms again, to touch and kiss and love with all his being.

Part 4:The Redemption

I slowly climbed the stairs of another nameless hotel. The floor management had reserved was high up. I was exhausted, but in an effort to prolong the inevitable I had decided to climb the stairs rather then take the elevator. I was tired and depressed and I wanted nothing other then to crawl into my bed and sleep the next six days away. I walked lazily down the hallway, toward the room I knew Justin would still occupy. I briefly though about going to get another room or staying in one of the guys room. But decided that was the chickens way out. I owed Justin at least an apology. I would have hidden in that ballroom until the next morning, IF I hadn’t known that there were three interviews and a photo shoot the following day. I took a deep breath before unlocking the door and stepping inside of the room.

I looked warily toward my bed. Justin was asleep curled up under the blankets. I sighed moving to lay down on the opposite bed. I watched Justin sleeping soundly across from me. Justin turned in his sleep, rolling towards me. The covers slipped down revealing his still nude body. I gasped trying to look away but not quite succeeding. I watched in awe at Justin’s sleeping form. My young friend had a budding erection. I closed his eyes forcing my body to relax against Justin’s pillow.

“Josh...” my head snapped up. I had to be hearing things. I sat up to look at Justin more closely. “Josh...” Justin moaned. His breathing had picked up. I watched in breathless fascination as Justin had a very potent sex dream right before my eyes, about me no less. This was unbelievable. I watched him stretch his frame out on the bed smiling in his sleep. He sighed out my name again. His right hand trailed along his stomach moving to rub his cock in his sleep. I stood from the bed moving to stand beside him. It seemed surreal, like I was the one dreaming, not controlling my own body’s actions. I sat beside him, leaning in closer. Allowing my eyes to fill with tears, I brushed my fingers down his chest. He took a deep breath, moaning as I traced circles around a nipple. I brushed his hands away wrapping my own around his cock. I squeezed gently watching as he arched up thrusting into my hand. I stroked him slowly, watching the pleasure filter across his young face.

“Joshua..” he moaned. I let the tears fall moving my hand rhythmically against him. “Josh...” I felt his hand move to my cheek. I looked up, focusing on his face. His eyes were open and locked on my face. I whimpered, gripping him tighter, speeding up my hand movements. “Joshua...” he moaned. “Josh... oh god....” he groaned. His other hand moved to grip my wrist. He panted below me. “Please... Jayce...” he cried. I watched him as he came into my hands. He called out my name withering beneath me. He relaxed against the bed fighting to catch his breath. I pulled away, moving to stand up again. His hold on my arm tightened. “No please... Josh... don’t go...” he whispered. I allowed him to pull me backwards. I was silent. He slowly pulled himself up into a sitting position. I sat motionless, to afraid to move or to speak. He leaned against me wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer to him. I was tense against him. His fingers ran through my hair. “Don’t leave... don’t ever go away Josh.... I couldn’t stand it... I love you.. I do Josh.. I love you so much Josh...” I went limp against him. He pulled me closer. “I’m in love with you Josh... God, I always have been...” he whimpered into my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him.

“You can’t... not that way.. You’re confused that’s all... it’ll pass... don’t worry... you’ll be normal again soon..” I promised. “I’m sorry... I... I’ve corrupted you..” I rambled you only half aware of what I was saying. He pulled back forcing me to look at him.

“No... snap out of this Josh.. You haven’t corrupted me... I swear it.. Josh you told me that you were the way you were and that you had been born that way... that nothing can change the way you were born... I was born this way Jayce... you didn’t make me like you as more then a friend. It just happened. Please don’t push me away.. I couldn’t stand it Josh... I need you too much.. I love you too much... please... just kiss me and hold me and tell me you love me and that you want to be with me forever and ever. Just hold me and make love to me... Josh.. I want you just like you want me...” he cried caressing my face. I collapsed against him.

“Don’t do this to me... please Justy... please...” I cried into his shoulder. He rubbed my back, shaking his head.

“Let me love you Josh... let me in... you love me... you can’t deny that... you can’t say it isn’t true. I see it everyday in everything you say and everything you do...” he whispered. He tilted my head upward. I found myself lost in his blue eyes. “I love you...” he said with conviction. I smiled just barely. He grinned, leaning forward to capture my lips in an aggressive kiss.

Part 5: The Transition

I had to force myself to *not* look at Justin all day. He was in love with me, and every time I looked at him he’d smile in that typically goofy love struck way that I just knew was mirrored on my face. The guys had definitely noticed.

They cornered us when we returned to the hotel to crash. I had flopped down on the couch. Joey and Chris eyed me as they sat down on the floor in front of the couch. Lance took up residence in an arm chair perched behind the two of them. I ignored their curious glances, choosing instead to look out the window. Justin was doodling around, picking up his belongings to pack before bed. He knew what was coming and was trying to delay the inevitable.

“Enough Justin, you never pack before bed... now come sit down...” Lance ordered. Justin sighed dramatically before dropping a pair of socks onto his growing pile. I sat up to make room for him beside me. He shot me a secretive smile that I knew had not gone unnoticed by the others. We sat watched them watching us. Joey cracked first.

“What *was* today? You guys are acting weirder then usual..” he was frustrated. I shrugged my shoulders risking a glance at Justin beside me. He looked at me before smiling smugly at the guys.

“Whatever do you mean?” he asked politely.

“Justin... don’t be an ass... just tell us the truth... what is going on between you and Josh?” Lance asked crossing his arms, in a move that made him look much like a spoiled child who wasn’t getting their way. I frowned at him.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you...” I laughed rolling my eyes.

“Then we’ll just have to show them...” before I could respond, Justin had turned on the couch and had moved to straddle my lap. He draped his arms over my shoulders and pressed his lips to mine in a lazy, yet effective, kiss. I melted back into the couch moving a hand to clutch his curls. The other wove around Justin in an effort to get more of his body to touch mine. I opened my mouth to him inviting his tongue to come dance with mine. I moaned deeply, hardening beneath him. He smiled into the kiss grinding down against me.

I heard several throats clear behind Justin’s back. I pulled back, breathing heavily. I held him closer arching against him. He released a quiet moan smiling down at me.

“I love you..” he whispered playing with the collar of my t-shirt.

“I love you too...”

“About fucking time!” Chris cheered climbing up from the floor. Lance, Joey, and I looked up at him in confusion. I don’t think Justin even remembered the other guys were with us. He had moved to lick at my neck. My eyes closed in pleasure as he worked on my first Justin induced hickey. “Please..” Chris continued. “Tell me you aren’t *that* clueless?” he asked the other two. He smiled shaking his head and turning to smile at me and Justin. I blinked at him smiling goofily. He raised an eyebrow before snickering. “Congratulations you too....” he laughed moving to his room for the night. Lance and Joey still sat motionless on the floor, looking at us in shock.

I wrapped my arms tighter around Justin moving to stand up. His legs slid up to wrap around my waist. I groaned as he pressed his entire body weight on my erection. I dumped him on our hotel room bed before crawling up on top of him again.

He groaned lowly before smiling up at me. I just held his face, looking straight into his eyes. I wanted a memory of this. A perfect moment that I’d always remember. It passed when I grinned at him and kissed down his neck. I pulled off slightly to remove his shirt. He rolled me over onto my back. He climbed to straddle my groin for the second time that evening. His hands ran up under my sweater. They were cold on my skin, hardening my nipples at his touch.

“Joshy?” he whispered teasingly. I chuckled.

“What?” I asked in return. His hands trailed down to the top of my jeans. He swayed his hips against me causing me to groan.

“Did *I* do this to you?” he asked. I smiled nodding yes. He smirked, taking my hand in his. He pressed my fingers and palm into his own erection. “Did you know that you did this to *me*?” he questioned. I flexed my fingers, squeezing his cock. “Josh... I want you.. I want to feel your cock pulsing inside of me... let me feel that... I want you to fuck me unconscious...” he growled. My heart rate quadrupled in 2.3 seconds. He smiled an almost naughty smile. I think I grunted in response, pulling him down on top of me again, pressing up against him. I drew his lips to mine in an aggressive kiss.

Part 6: The Passion

I entered him slowly. I never wanted to hurt him again... that included physical, emotional, or sexual pain. He was groaning beneath me, his hands clutching my shoulders and back. I froze not wanting to cause him more discomfort. He huffed, his breath warm on my neck. He bucked upward, rocking his hips against mine. He moaned this time, and I watched a lazy smile flitter across his face. He opened his eyes to look up at me.

“More... dammit Josh... go further, push harder.... you feel so good inside of me... give me more...” he whispered. I watched his face in awe as I pushed in all of the way. He moaned wrapping his legs around me again. God... he was flexible. I shifted slightly to find a more comfortable angle. He gasped loudly, a low moan following. His head lolled to the side, his eyes falling shut again.

His thin neck was exposed to me. I pressed my nose to the flesh, just under his ear. I breathed in deeply, continuing my rhythm. His scent once more filled my nostrils. God he even smelled perfect. I kissed at his skin, sucking it up into my mouth and licking erotic circles across his Adams apple.

He arched up into me. His legs fell away from my hips to rest once again on the mattress. His knees were bent, his bare feet resting flat on the mattress. He used his legs for leverage to push his hips up and toward me. It was my turn to groan as I slid in even further then before. I sat up more, pulling him up with me. I held him close. We moved together. Soon we were boh breathless and ready to come. He dragged his nails across my back making me stretch against him. I couldn’t wait anymore, I tightened my hold, pulling him flush against me.

“Ohh Shit... Justin...” I groaned thrusting in against him. I came inside of him groaning into his neck and panting for air. He tensed around me milking me of every last drop of semen. He arched in my arms fighting to control his orgasm. I kissed his ear before dropping my voice and whispering one word into his ear. “COME...” he trembled in my arms as he came, his seed shooting up between us, sticky and wet. He made a sound I had never heard before. It seemed like a cross between a whimper, a sigh, and a groan/moan, all wrapped into one. He went slack against me, breathing against my heated skin. I held him there, barely strong enough to support our combined weight. His head dropped to my shoulder. He sighed, rubbing circles into my back. I kept him close as I brought us back down on the mattress. He snuggled closer resting his head on my shoulder. I brushed his hair back from his forehead, kissing his sweaty temple.

A few minutes later Justin picked his head up to look at me. He smiled.

“When can we do that again? Soon? Tonight?!?” he asked grinning up at me. I laughed, pulling the blanket up over our bare bodies.

“Go to sleep Justin...” I ordered turning out the light and holding him to me.

“When Joshua? I really liked that...” he pouted. I shook my head in amusement.

“Tomorrow..” I whispered.

“Morning?” he whispered, wrapping an arm around my body. I sighed.

“We’ll see....” he was about to say something else so I jumped in. “We’ll see Justin.. I enjoyed it too.. Don’t worry... it won’t be too long.. but remember... you are probably gonna be sore tomorrow...” he sighed in disappointment. I laughed. “I’ve created a monster...” I whispered. He snickered once more before relaxing against me to sleep. I rested my head against his and joined him.

Part 7: The Completion

I woke early the next morning. Justin was wrapped tightly around me. Naked flesh pressed to naked flesh. He looked beautiful. His hair was mess, his skin golden in the early morning light. I trailed a finger down his cheek, feeling the light stubble. It felt out of place on his smooth skin. Justin sighed pulling me closer.

I glanced at the bedside clock. We had way over slept. We still had to pack before going down to board the bus, which was leaving in less than an hour. He needed to wake up. I leaned in kissing him on the bridge of his nose. I moved up to kiss each of his closed eyes. He moaned pulling me over on top of him. He smiled up at me, opening his crystalline blue eyes. I smiled in return, pulling his lips to meet mine. I gasped when his hips pressed an eager erection into my thigh. I groaned pressing down against him.

I sighed into the kiss. A hearty laughed bubbled from my throat when Justin’s hand wound around my cock. I felt my head lull to the side. His lips attacked the newly exposed skin.

“Just?...” I moaned. “We have to get up...” he nuzzled my neck squeezing my erection.

“You already are..” he whispered. I giggled,.thrusting up into his hand.

“The bus...” he nodded against my neck.

“Guess what..” he paused before continuing. “They won’t leave without us...” his breath was hot on my skin. He stroked up my shaft. I stifled a moan, licking at his lips. He faltered a moment, looking unsure.

“Don’t stop...” I breathed against his mouth.

“How?” he said weakly.

“How do you touch yourself...” I sighed. His hands resumed their movement. I grasped his shoulders, pulling him in for another kiss. He worked me expertly, hitting all the right spots. His fingers circled the head and traced the veins and ridges. He changed his pace sporadically, going from fast and hard, to slow and gentle. I sucked at his lips, moaning into the kiss. My hips rose to meet each down stroke.

“In me... please Josh.... now...” he whispered. I pulled him on top of me again, guiding his hips over my erection. I slid into him easily. We shared a collective moan.

A knock on the door startled us both. Justin stopped his rocking, turning to look the door.

“Unless you want an education on Gay-Anal-Sex.... I suggests you don’t open that door!” he yelled. We heard hurried feet running in the other direction. I chuckled softly. He turned back to look at me. A gentle kiss was placed on my face, before he returned to his hurried pace.

We came quickly, cuddling together for as long as we dared. We packed hurriedly, throwing our clothes in each others suitcases. We rushed to get down to the bus. Chris smiled at us as we climbed up the steps. Lance was half passed out on the bus couch. He waved weakly grunting hello. Joey sat beside his feet staring at the carpeted floor. His face a lovely shade of red. I grinned at Justin. He smiled taking my hand and dragging me toward the back of the bus.

Chris’ laughter radiated from the front of the bus as we crawled in to lay down in my double bunk.

“No sex on the Nsync bus!” he sang. We rolled our eyes. Justin sighed against my chest. I ran a hand through his unruly curls.

“I love you...” I whispered. He smiled looking up at me.

“I love you too Joshua...” he replied.

“Good..” I closed my eyes.

“Josh... when can we do it again?...” he whispered. I giggled loudly shaking my head at his incessant behavior.

The End...