Title: ...All That Really Mattered

Author: Sammymc

Feedback: [email protected]

Pairing(s): VM/OB (HS/OB)

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Orlando screwed up, literally, and now must face the consequences. Can he be forgiven?

Disclaimer(s): I do not know any of the people portrayed here in. Nor do I think these people would ever act in anyway at all like they do in this piece of fiction. Nor do I claim to know any characters sexual orientation or choice of partners. This story contains Slash (a paring involving 2 people of the same gender involved in a romantic and sexual relationship). If you do not like Slash, do not read the attached story. Thanks.

Warning(s): Dark!Harry, Snarky!Accusing!Elijah, Angst, Alcohol Abuse, Americanisms run rampant.

Archiving: Someone else would want it? Email me I guess...

Website: http://www.geocities.com/sammy_anny_m

Orli watched without any emotion on his face as Viggo packed his bag. He moved silently around the room, his time spent as Aragorn making him swift and silent. He barely noticed Orlando's presence in the apartment, looking only at the things laying around, only picking up and storing into the suitcase what he knew to be his own. Orli watches as he picks up and considers the blue shirt Orli had given him for Christmas. Watches as it is placed back on the bed, as if it wasn't his own.

Orlando kept his face neutral as he watched. He sat on the couch, head swiveling in every direction as to follow Viggo's movements, back and forth, in and out of the room over and over again. He could see rather clearly into the bedroom that had once been theirs together. He let out a shaky sigh as he heard the bags close with the zap of a zipper. He lets his head come to rest on his drawn up knees and lets the tears fall. He doesn't even remember doing what he had done that was so wrong. He knew what he had done but he didn't remember the actual doing of it. He doesn't wipe at the tears, just lets them soak into his jeans.

Damn Harry. It was all Harry's fault. He started to sob as he heard the door click shut behind Viggo. He hadn't even said goodbye.

Orli walked onto the set the next day with his held high and his shoulders squared. He ignored the pointed looks he knew were being thrown his way. Everyone had to know by now. The entire cast, the entire crew, and Peter too. His face was still and hard. His demeanor was stiff and cold to those who approached him for business. He didn't allow himself to look at Viggo. Not that he would have had an easy time of it, not with the Hobbits and Sean standing around him all day, like he was made of glass that would break if Orlando came within 15 feet, when the camera wasn't rolling.

He sat down in the corner of the mess hall at lunch and rested his head against back of the fabric tent. It gave under his head slightly and he sat back up straighter looking down at his food. He refused to look up when someone sat down across from him.

"What's going on with you?" Orli looked up to see Elijah sitting before him. He tried to smile and failed, looking back to his untouched food.

"I would think that was quite obvious Lija..." he said in response. Elijah's face darkened.

"You know... for a few weeks there, I honestly thought you were in love with him..." Elijah's voice was lower and harsher then Orlando had ever heard it in the year they had been friends. He looked up and winced at the look in the younger mans eyes. "You've broken his heart... and you don't even care..." Lijah hissed. Orlando felt his facade slip a little. Elijah got a look at the pain and heartache for just a second before the shield came up again.

"I don't need you to lecture me, Elijah. Not when you have no idea what happened. What do you know about relationships? About love? You think when someone fucks up and hurts the person they're with, that they don't hurt too? You think I'm glad that I hurt Viggo? I love Viggo... I'll always love Viggo and I'm sorry that you all get to spend the rest of the shoot hating me for a mistake that I can't make right..." he spat standing from the seat and stalking from the tent. He stopped a little ways away and leaned his side against a tree, turned toward it to shield his face.

Suddenly he had a mouth full of moss and was pressed from head to toe against tree bark. He grunted and spat at the foliage in his mouth.

"Bloody Hell!" he growled trying to push back. He met resistence when a bigger, heavier body pressed him into the rough bark harder then before. He tensed. There was an erection pressed to his backside.

"I love it when you get all pissy and mad... makes me hard.." a familiar voice whispered in his ear. Orlando chose not to respond. Harry laughed in his ear, chin resting on his shoulder. "So, he left you, did he?" a cruel smile. "Good... I'm glad... you don't deserve him... you know why, Orlando?" Orli's jaw flexed in anger. "Because you're nothing but a dirty little cheating whore, who can't keep his dick in his pants long enough for a doomed relationship to run it's natural course." Harry gave another laugh. "Am I making you angry, Orlando?" he whispered. Orlando pushed back against him, trying to free himself.

"If you're going to fuck your new toy Harry, at least do it in a more private place..." Orlando let his head fall back against the tree, turning his face away from where the speaker stood. God, he couldn't take this, not from Viggo.

"Ahh... Viggo... don't worry about it... you know how insatiable our little Orli can be... he's dying for another go..." Harry whispered pressing harder against Orlando. Orlando used all his strength to push back again, and this time managed to dislodge the weight against him. He stumbled to the side in order to distance himself and bumped into Viggo. He jerked away just as quickly from that contact. He looked up into the blue eyes he loved so much. He looked away quickly and took another step back.

"Leave me alone..." he whispered to Harry, before turning and walking away.

He headed for the make-up trailer he shared with Viggo and Sean B., his face make-up was probably ruined now. He touched his cheek, his fingers came away dirty and red. He winced. There was a small shallow cut just below his eye. Fuck. He was dead. Glory nearly had a heart attack when she saw him enter.

"Jesus, Orlando!...What happened to your face?" she asked sitting him in a chair and tilting his face up to her for a better look.

"Tripped, landed on a tree..." he muttered, avoiding her eyes.

"Lying for him already, I see..." Orlando turned away from the door. Viggo. God couldn't he just leave him alone.

"What do you want Viggo? I was under the impression that I wasn't worth your time and energy anymore..." Orlando responded, he again averted his eyes, he'd been doing that a lot lately. This time it was his own reflection he didn't want to see. Orlando barely noticed when Glory put down the brush she was holding and exited to the left at a rather fast pace. Viggo didn't respond. "What would you rather I say, Viggo: Harry did it, you know the tall dark and psycho I cheated on Viggo with? He decided he wanted another go and slammed me up against a tree so I couldn't run away.. Yeah, that'd work real well..." his tone was sarcastic, his voice cold.

"What is wrong with you?" Viggo asked in disbelief.

"You are the third person to ask me that today Viggo..." he trailed off.

"You don't want to be with him..." Viggo whispered. Orli risked a glance at him.

"What made you think I did?" he asked in response.

"You cheated on me with him, Orli... you let him fuck you... what else was I supposed to think?" Viggo spat out.

"I don't even remember what happened that night, Viggo... I don't want to be with Harry, I never wanted to be with Harry. And I don't want what happened to ever happen again. I love you, Viggo... I have for nearly a year and I'm sorry that I hurt you. I don't know what I did that made it happen. I just know that it did, and that I can't change the past now. And I'm gonna do everything I can to make sure I'm never in a situation like that again. I know that I was drinking Viggo... and I'm not gonna get drunk again..." he looked up at Viggo again. "I hurt you, and you hurt me when you left... but I don't want you to feel bad about it. It was your right to be angry, and hurt, and disgusted. It was your right to leave after what happened. We're both gonna be okay... So don't worry about me anymore... I'm alright..." Orlando finished. He looked back to the mirror. He didn't cry when Viggo walked away and he sat perfectly still while his face was put back together again.

Time seemed to pass in slow motion. Orlando felt more alone then he had since first coming to New Zealand. At least back home he'd had his mother, his friends from school, Sam. God he missed Sam. He hadn't seen her face to face since before Viggo had happened. The whole in his life with his little sister missing had been filled somewhat with the addition of The Hobbits and Viggo. Now he had none of them and his family still wasn't there. At least Harry had backed off somewhat. He hadn't touched him in weeks. Orlando thought he might have had Viggo to thank for that, but didn't dare think on it for too long at a time. It was more than likely that Harry hadn't been around much because he had finished his shots for the movies, and was no longer needed.

Orlando had lost some weight, had grown a little pale in the three weeks since *it* had happened. That's what he called the incident with Harry. *It*. Like it was some tangible thing that would eventually be lost or stolen and forgotten about again. He sighed, sitting back on the couch. He drank some more water before going back to his boring old sandwich. He was alone again. He was always alone now a days. Today was the one year anniversary of him and Viggo finally getting together. One Year. They had almost made it. Orli had been sure they were gonna make it and then the Hobbits had dragged him out drinking with them and Harry had been there to see him get pissed off his ass. Orlando slumped back in the old battered couch where he slept most nights, not being able to sleep in the bed he had once shared with Viggo.

A knock on the door pulled him away from the half eaten sandwich. He was greatly surprised to see Lija, Sean, Billy and Dom standing outside his apartment door, arms loaded with food and beer. He let them inside, noting the disdain carefully hidden in Elijah's innocent face. He watched them settle inside, on his couch and floor. Billy was pulling out food and Dom was pulling out booze. Sean flopped down in a chair, picked up the remote control and began to flip channels idly. Orli watched as Lija looked speculatively around the flat before going to inspect the fridge. Orlando slumped down on the couch and accepted the offered pizza slice while ignoring the offered beer.

"What you aren't gonna drink with us? What kind of mate are you?" Dom asked setting the beer back on the table.

"The kind who promised himself and others that he wouldn't touch another drop of alcohol again. What are you Hobbits doing here anyway?" he asked sliding down and setting his head to rest on the arm of the couch. He took a bite of pizza.

"Forgotten what day it is?" Elijah asked sitting down in an armchair. Orlando looked at him sharply.

"I know exactly what day today is..." he spoke in response. "To one year!" he muttered taking another drink of his now luke-warm water. Elijah's eyes darkened.

"Do you ever stop? Do you ever think about anyone else at all?" Elijah spoke, his voice dangerously low.

"Not right now Lij..." Sean spoke from his place in an overstuffed arm chair. Orlando sat up.

"No, it's okay Sean... Lij obviously has some residual feelings from an incident that happened weeks ago, that didn't even involve him to begin with. Please do continue Elijah. I need one more person reminding me about what a dirty little whore I am. I need one more accusation spat at me for breaking Viggo's heart. I need one more person telling me that I deserve every ounce of pain I may be feeling. Come on Elijah. Tell me how you really feel!" he growled. Elijah took a step back.

"I.." the boy was practically speechless. He stared at Orlando with an odd look on his face.

"Get out."Orli growled low in his throat. "All of you. Get out of my apartment. All four of you. Out! NOW!" he cried pointing at the door. He watched them scramble and in just under a minute Orlando was alone again. He heard his front door slam and slumped down into the vacant sofa. He glanced at the beers sitting open and barely touched on the coffee table. He scowled and turned away.

"You aren't a whore you know.." the soft voice from the doorway made Orlando's stomach clench and his heart constrict. He looked up to see Viggo standing in the open door. He had his hands shoved deep in his pockets and looked as tired and worn as Orli felt. Orlando hadn't even heard the door open.

"Everyone else seems to think so..." Orli whispered, letting himself fall back on the couch. He pulled a pillow to his chest.

"Can I come in?" Orlando nodded and pulled his feet up the couch. They curled neatly up under him, his knees pressing into the scratchy material covering the back of the couch. Orli remembered being fucked on this couch, chest rubbing at the coarse material, leaving him red and sore afterward. He pulled his thoughts back together and looked at Viggo, well somewhere just to the right of Viggo. He still, weeks after the incident, couldn't look Viggo in the eyes. The older man closed the door and moved around the room to sit where Orli's feet had been resting. He looked around the room as if trying to tell what had changed since he had last been there. His eyes came to rest on the beers, he frowned, the crease on his forehead deepening. Orlando tried not to stare.

"I didn't have any..." Orlando whispered.

"Why not?" Viggo asked.

"I promised you I wouldn't. I promised myself I wouldn't." he replied, running a tired hand through his short curly hair.

"Do you think we would have made it?" Viggo asked. Orli didn't have to ask what was he was referring to.

"I had thought so. I was looking forward to it actually. I've never made it a whole year before. I was sure that I would make it that long with you though. We really had something." Orlando answered. He let his head come to rest on the back edge of the couch.

"What happened that night, Orlando? What was it that he gave you that I couldn't?" Viggo asked. Orli sighed.

"You gave me everything Vig. Everything I wanted, everything I needed. I don't know what happened that night. I don't remember. I was too sloshed to think straight. It's all one big blur. I don't even remember leaving or what happened after we left. I just remember waking up hung over and knowing that something had happened. I rolled over and there was Harry. I remember thinking, clear as a bell: 'Where's Viggo?'."Orlando slouched on the couch and looked at his ex-boyfriend. "I'm sorry Viggo. I never meant for it to happen, but that it did is enough for you to hate me forever." he whispered. He looked at Viggo, he looked sad, and tired. He looked more tired then Orlando could ever remember seeing him. He wanted to reach over and hug the bigger man but knew he wasn't good enough to touch the likes of Viggo Mortensen. Not anymore. Probably never had been. "Do you need something, Viggo? Is there something you need me to say or do to resolve this? You look like you need answers and those are the one thing I can't give you. I can't explain it and I can't undo it. I can't make it go away. And I can't say how sorry I am enough times to make the hurting stop." he said. He saw tears gathering in Viggo's eyes and felt his stomach plummet. He had always imagined Viggo to be invincible, unable to crumble so far as to cry. He had done this, had hurt this man enough to make him cry. He was scum, he was worse than scum. He was a worthless little whore, just like Harry said he was. And he should know, he'd had Orlando. He knew exactly what he was. Orlando looked away, trying to shrink back into the arm of the chair, wanting to disappear.

"You never wanted him?" Orlando murmured a small 'no'. "You didn't love him?" another quiet half sobbed 'no'. "You never cheated on me any other time?" Orlando's head jerked up to look at him and for the first time since the night IT had happened, he looked into Viggo Mortensen's eyes and told him 'No!' Viggo let out a controlled breath. "Do you miss me?" he asked.

"God yes.." there was pain there, a heartache that couldn't be faked even by the best of actors.

"Do you love me?" Viggo asked. He had turned further in Orlando's direction. Orlando gave him a small reserved smile.

"Yes. I always have.." he replied. Viggo closed his eyes, then opened them to look at his once lover.

"I'm sorry as well." he whispered. Orlando shook his head.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. You have done nothing wrong!" he protested.

"I didn't let you explain what had happened. I've let everyone treat you like crap and I should have stopped them. They had no right to treat you so badly. Elijah is only the beginning of a long list of people who place all the blame on you." Viggo continued.

"You aren't responsible for other people's actions, Viggo. They only saw what I let them see, they only wanted to see you as the broken hearted hero and me as the sleazy villain who broke your heart." Orli shrugged his shoulders. "The past can't be changed. I still love you, I still want to be with you. The real question is whether or not you are willing to try again. I won't push you into anything, and I won't ask more than you are willing to give." Orlando looked down and away from Viggo, who paused for only a moment before responding.

"I don't want to give up on this, on us. I'm not ready to say that it's over forever. I want to be with you, but I'm not sure how.. I.." Viggo trailed off.

"I know. I'm so sorry." Orlando shook his head, turning away from the other man.

"I don't care that you're sorry!" Viggo growled. "I don't care that you didn't mean for it to happen, it did!" he shouted. "You can't change it now. Things are different now!" he stood up from the couch. Orlando shrank back.

"Then it's over." Orlando said quietly, standing from his seat. "It's over, Viggo." he whispered. Viggo had begun pacing back and forth across the expanse of the living room. He stopped in front of Orlando, who was back to not being able to meet his eyes.

"No, I don't think it will *ever* be over!" Viggo whispered the words. He reached up and traced a path of a tear as it ran down Orli's cheek. Orlando looked up at him. "I still love you." Viggo whispered. Orlando just kept looking at him. Viggo leaned forward and pressed his forehead to the younger mans. "Can I kiss you?" he whispered. Orlando smiled and nodded the littlest bit. Then Viggo was there, pressed up against him, mouth on his, kissing him in desperation.

Orli gasped, his mouth opening to Viggo, and they were locked around each other. Viggo's hands drifted up his back. Orlando let his eyes fall closed, allowing himself to be kissed and pressed tightly against the larger man. Hands cradled his face, one running back to cup the back of his head.

Viggo pulled back slowly, reluctantly. Orli felt slide down the side of his own face. A fingertip wiped it away. He opened his eyes, looking up into Viggo's dark eyes. He couldn't bring himself to say anything.

"You're so sad.." Viggo whispered the words.

"Sadness can be beautiful..." Orlando whispered. Viggo touched the side of his face.

"You're always beautiful. Even when you're sad and lonely." Viggo leaned forward kissing Orlando's forehead. He slid his hand into Orlando's and stepped back, turning he walked around the couch and back into the darkened bedroom. Orli followed, unsure of where this was going.

Strong roughened hands slid his t-shirt up over his head and warm lips pressed to the side of his neck. He gasped, feeling familiar calloused fingers sliding down and around to the small of his back. Orlando's hands followed up strong arms and over broad shoulders. Viggo tugged him closer. Orlando wrapped his arms up around his love's neck and sighed, resting his head on Viggo's shoulder. He was back where he belonged. Things weren't perfect but they didn't seem as horrible as they had for so long. There was a chance now. One that Orlando assured himself would not be wasted. He loved Viggo, and Viggo still unbelievably loved him and that was all that really mattered.

End.