Week 2 � random complaints
Well, I�ll be working in a completely different format for the time being. Maybe forever, I really don�t know. Anyway, I have now decided (I�m writing this bit two days later) to not work with a new format. Kind of interesting how you can change your mind in two days and decide to work with (or not with) a new column for the column. Well, I suppose that I should get to the actual column.
I think I�ll start with a rant about how �Tim� never stops complaining. Oddly enough, this paragraph was written at his suggestion, albeit he admitted later that he was just being sarcastic. So, I suppose I should begin with �Tim�s� constant complaining about his Health class teacher, Mr. Name-Withheld. �Tim� is under the impression that Mr. Name-Withheld is (nasty comments withheld due to lack of desire to be sued for libel charges). While he does act like it every now and then, I really think that he was trying to get a point across about the outside world. Of course, I could be completely off on that one.
My next topic is �snow�. It�s an urban legend, that�s what I say! I mean, if snow really existed I would have seen it at some point, right? Anyone who claims to have seen it is lying to you! It�s a conspiracy� trust nobody� But seriously, folks, I believe in snow, no matter how ridiculous it seems. I�ve had an NSE (near-snow experience). It was years and years ago, up in the mountains�
But you know what? Supposing that I�m wrong, and snow doesn�t exist� Think of all the news footage and stuff that snow appears in. I mean, think of all of the influence that thing like that have on our society. Seriously! If, say, Fox News decided to make up a new type of weather (We�ll call it Snow 9 in honor of Cat�s Cradle), and they started putting it in their weather forecasts, what would there be to really disprove that Snow 9 existed? Not much, I�ll tell you that.
Hmm�. I smell a conspiracy theory brewing in this column� Wait, no, that�s just pineapple. Did anybody else ever notice how much Snow 9 smells like pineapple? I mean, it makes me nervous whenever I drink pineapple juice. It makes me think that I�m drinking conspiracy juice or something�
This is Orpheus, signing out for week 2. Send any e-mails to [email protected]